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Risky question: Why is wearing blackface or femaleface as part of a costume offensive?

In the United States, Blackface and Femaleface were used as part of "Minstrel"/"Wench" Shows, which is basically a comedy show where the only jokes were basically "Wow, black people and women sure are stupid!" As you can imagine, incredibly fucking offensive. Blackface and Femaleface were also used on stage or screen so that a show could have black or female characters, without having to actually, you know, hire black people or women. The white, cis, male actors would then usually play up negative black or female stereotypes in the process.
So there is a lot of history of blackface and femaleface being used as a method of mocking black people and women. But, hey, that's just history. Why would it be offensive today?
Your point that you wouldn't be offended by a black person in "whiteface", or a woman in "maleface", or that it is the same as wearing a red wig, is what we might call 'false equivalency'; within a larger cultural context, it isn't the same thing. There are several reasons for this.
The first and most straightforward is that the mentality of the ministrel show hasn't disappeared. A lot of people who wear blackface/femaleface in their costumes for Halloween or whatever use it as an excuse to make fun of black people and women, so people are wary of it. But that doesn't make in intrinsically racist, right?
Well, no, nothing is "intrinsically" anything when talking about race/sex, because race/sex isn't skin deep. You appear to believe in a sort of colourblind mentality towards race and sex, in that it doesn't matter at all what race or sex you are. Well, race/gender are kind of absurd concepts (see below the break) because humans pretty much just made it up, but humans also just sort of made up things like governments, laws and economies, which are also important and "real" things. So let's talk about race and sex. Really talk about them.
To many people, especially people of colour or people of real periods, race and sex matter. It can matter in a lot of negative ways, manifesting in poor treatment, harassment, or simply the circumstances into which they were born, statistically (s/o China for fucking everything up in their own country). It can also matter in many positive or affirmative ways; concepts like "Black culture" or "Black pride" or "Female empowerment" exist as a counterpoint, a way for Black people and women to take pride in themselves and their experiences, and to explore concepts that dominate culture, white male culture, doesn't have experience with that many Black people and women do. Serious stuff, like mistreatment by the justice system, or basic stuff, like hair. Hair! Bet that's something you've never thought about at length (lol) but it's a pretty important issue for Black folks and women in America.
To white men like us, this often doesn't make a lot of sense; we were taught as kids that race and sex don't matter. But it's very easy to say that something that rarely seems to affect us doesn't matter; our race and sex as white males is seen by society as default, our experiences as normal. Our stories get to be the ones that get retold and remembered, and we retell and remember them quite frequently. It's like saying it doesn't matter who wins or loses, after collecting the trophy and the prize money.
So something like whiteface or maleface doesn't affect us; it's just skin tone, after all. It's also why, as Americans who are very disconnected, often by generations, from our European ancestors, we often don't give a shit about those stereotypes either. I don't give a shit when people make Scottish jokes, and I wouldn't give a shit if people made Czech jokes, if those were jokes people over here made. It's not all that important to me.
If you are a person of colour and/or a female in America, it is impossible not to notice race and sex. Even if you've never been subject to malicious racism or sexism, you know that you are perceived as an outsider to the dominant culture. Even if you didn't want to care about race or sex, race and sex have been made important for you, personally. You've experienced a lot of shit you know is basically invisible to white men because of "just" your skin tone.
So when some liberal white elected representative rolls along in blackface or femaleface, or using black slang or trying to use the n-word or "girl" positively or neutrally, it rings hollow. It's a mockery, somebody who thinks that all you need to emulate this giant, deeply personal and nuanced concept of Blackness or Femaleness is some shoe polish.
That's what's offensive.
submitted by canipaybycheck to 4chan [link] [comments]

First Contact - TOTAL WAR - Part 209

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Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd crouched down next to the dumpster that was beside the back door to the bank. Major Bloodfist was lounging next to a sign for the bank, doing something that Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd had discovered was called 'smoking a cigarette' in order to ingest a complex multi-function drug. Chrome Cortez was reading something called a newspaper as he sat on the bench outside the bank. Otto was telling him what to do over his comlink as Heinrich kept an eye out for any LawSec response.
"All right, Comrade Ya'ahrd, the guard moved through the copy room and into the stairwell, it looks like he's coming out back. Make sure to use your silenced weapons so we don't alert anyone," Otto said over the comlink.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd shuffled back slightly, checking the silent pistol in his hand, then looking up. The guard came out and Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd shot him once in the head, dropping him down.
"Answer his radio or the cops will get suspicious," Otto said.
The radio crackled and someone at a LawSec building asked for a report.
"I... uhh... went outside to smoke a cigarette and look at pornographic holocubes," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said into the radio.
"All right. Don't take too long. I'll log you as on break," the LawSec being said.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd pulled a body-bag out of his belt, put the human inside, and threw him in the dumpster so that nobody noticed a dead Sec-guard on the ground.
"There's another one, he's walking to stand by the ATM's at the entrance. The other one is walking from the vault back to the offices. You should be clear to take out the security survelliance room," Otto said.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd snuck carefully in, making sure his shoes didn't clatter on the cement floor. He checked up the stairwell, then moved through the door into the small cement alcove. An open doorway led into the bank, with the copy-machine room right across and the door to the security office on his right. Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd leaned back, reared up, touched his hoof to the keycard reader, and activated his hoof EMP generator. The keycard reader let out a little smoke and the room unlocked.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd whipped open the door and shot the guard at the console twice in the head, then answered the radio and gave the excuse that his bowels were full and he needed an elimination break. The LawSec communications officer seemed satisfied and Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd relaxed.
That left only the two guards in the bank. The vault was full of gold, cash, jewelry, and other stuff. He trembled at the thought of opening the high security safe deposit boxes to see the contents.
Terra is so exciting, Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd thought to himself.
"OK, he's coming to you. Looks like he's heading to the roof. Wait for him to get to the stairs and take him out," Otto said.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd waited for the human, dressed in black pants with a white shirt and a gunbelt, to go by and shot him in the back of the head. He dropped and Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd fast talked the LawSec guy again, using a Telkan accent. Not a good one, but good enough to fool the LawSec agent. Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd took out another body bag, rolled the human into it, zipped it up, then dragged the body into the camera room.
"OK, wait so you can see the copy room. He should come in there soon. Everything is going good," Otto told him.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd moved into the cement alcove and waited, his pistol held ready. The last human guard kept wandering around, from the ATMs to talk to some clerks back to the desks, then to the ATMs, then...
"Here he comes."
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd lifted up his pistol and sighted it. When the guard appeared in the doorway the led from the copy room to the back hall Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd shot him in the forehead then quickly galloped into the copy room, chortling to himself that the man and woman attempting to secure a loan from a bank officer hadn't noticed him. He answered the radio, bodybagged the dead Terran, then galloped back to the camera room carrying the body.
Humans know how to do covert actions. This is much better than the last mission I did where my overwatch forgot that LawSec guards could open doors, Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd thought to himself.
"OK, go get the thermal drill. I had a guy stash it out back," Otto said. "So far, nobody has to break cover."
"Excellent," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd replied. He trotted out the back door and into the parking lot, following the annotation on his retinal link for where the drill was. It was in the back of a truck and Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd noticed it was quite heavy. It made him stagger to carry it back in.
"OK, go in and menace the people in the loan officer area, don't let the tellers or anyone waiting to do banking see you," Otto said.
Outside Cortez sighed. It had been nearly a half hour but the client wanted to be sneaky and quiet instead of running in shooting. A whole bunch of security officers had still collected the day's pay but were no longer on standby to go along with a tense hostage situation.
At least 'Bloodfist' get to go get the car, he thought as he turned the page of the 'newspaper' and read the "Lanaktallan Spy Raids Area-51!" article.
Inside Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd ran up and pointed his shotgun at the bank customers and the loan officers.
"Get on the ground, in the name of the Lanaktallan Unified Espionage Council," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd ordered.
The Terrans raised their hands and slowly got on the floor. Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd put their hands behind their back and ziptied them, chuckling to himself at how simple this was.
"OK, flashbang the crowd, run behind the teller counter, knock out the two tellers, then threaten everyone with your shotgun," Otto said.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd trembled with excitement, pulling out a flashbang. He snuck into the copy room and peeked out the door. There were a dozen Terrans waiting to see the tellers, two tellers, and he could see two of his Ninjas in the alleyway playing dice.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd threw the flashbang, rushed in and TASER's both tellers, ziptied them, then galloped out into the main area. He knew Otto and Heinrich were jamming their com-links so they couldn't call out for help as he galloped twice around the teller area, waving his shotgun around.
"Everyone get on the ground! Now! No heroics!" he ordered.
The Terrans obediently got on the ground, some of them making crying noises. "Don't try anything and everyone goes home safe," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd assured them as he ziptied them.
Then, following Otto's advice, he moved them all into the copy room, went in and picked up the thermal drill before staggering over to the vault. It was really heavy. When he unzipped the bag, he just stared.
It had a tubular metal frame and seemed pretty complex. Luckily Heinrich advised him how to set it up. Then he had nearly ten minutes to wait for the drill to get into the door.
That's OK, it gives me time to loot the offices, he thought to himself. He went around and picked up the bundles of 'cash', which was Terran criminal slang for non-electronic paper money notes. He flipped the end of one bundle and sniffed it, finding the smell of fresh paper and ink satisfying.
Finally the vault creaked open and Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd galloped inside. Outside Major Bloodfist pulled up in the car, got out, and opened the spacious trunk before leaning against the car and sighing.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd stared around him with wide eyes. Stacks of gold bricks, cubed stacks of cash, all waiting for him to steal to fund his espionage. He began bagging it all up and carrying it out the car, stopping several times each trip to catch his breath.
The bags were heavy.
At least while he was getting the bags Chrome Cortez went in and used a saw to open the ATM's and the safe deposit boxes, letting him loot those too. He found all kinds of interesting things. Gold bars, jewelry, rolls of money.
Finally, it was all cleared out and he galloped out to the car, climbing carefully in and driving away, slamming down the gas pedal so he left behind a cloud of smoke as he roared out town and onto the highway.
"HAHAHAHAH! Another masterful job by I, Ya'ahrd, Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd, Secret Agent Supreme!" the Lanaktallan crowed as he sped down the road.
"Indeed you are a masterful criminal genius, sir," Major Bloodfist said.
"Why thank you, Major," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said, rolling down the window and putting both his left elbows on the windowframe as the wind whipped in and ruffled the hair on his flank. "That was most enjoyable and now we have plenty of black market currency to help fund our operations."
"It's almost nightfall. We should stop at the hotel and refuel the car, have the oil changed, and spend the night. You must be exhausted after all your dastardly deeds, sir," Major Bloodfist said, checking his datalink.
"Excellent plan. Ensure there is a food seller about, I worry about you minion's nutritional needs," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said magnanimously.
"You are most considerate, sir," Major Bloodfist said.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd was satisfied when he pulled into the hotel. He trotted around the building twice, making sure there were no Terran Intelligence Agents hiding in the bushes (which he was careful to poke with his shotgun to make sure they weren't Lanaktallan-eating bushes) or any High Threat Response Teams from local LawSec or CorpSec lurking about.
Satisfied he trotted into his room, took out a cube of dehydrated cud, and put it in his mouth. It slowly expanded as he sat on the bed and counted the stacks of money. He shivered in pleasure with the amount he had made off with. Surely this would hamper the Terran's war fighting efforts. He had stolen nearly thirty million Hamburger Kingdom dollars. The sight of the ominous and deadly looking crowned Terran with "In Burger King We Trust" underneath did give him the chills. The dead ruler's eyes seemed to follow him around as if to say "Where is your God now?" with its cold gaze.
"Herr Ya'ahrd," Heinrich broke in as Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd was turning all the stacks of bills face down so he didn't have to lock eyes with the long dead ruler of the Hamburger Kingdom.
"Yes, yes, Heinrich, I am here," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said, trotting over and moving the curtain slightly to check out in the parking lot for any lurking vigilantes. He'd seen the documentary about the immortal Frank Castle, who often blew up entire hotel rooms, and had no desire to have the frightening Terran vigilante hunting him.
"You may want to turn on the Tri-Vid, mien Herr," Heinrich said, with a click of his shoes that Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd could hear through the comlink. "Channel 1842."
"Very well," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said, turning and picking up the remote. He turned on the Tri-Vid and punched in the channel code. "I hope it is... HOW DARE HE!"
On the Tri-Vid it showed a Lanaktallan ship landing, then cut to the ramp coming down, then to...
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd waved his hands, urging the chyron to go faster as the camera zoomed in on Yu'uMo'o waving to the crowds from in between the big black warborgs of the Confederacy.
"Uh, mien Herr, try turning up the volume," Heinrich suggested, appearing next to Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd and making him jump in surprise.
"Of course. I was merely... uh... examining how it looks," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said. He turned up the volume.
The reporter was talking about how the Lanaktallan's had sent political envoys to discuss such things as prisoner exchanges, the status of unaligned planets, and such things. The Lanaktallans were restricted to a single island in the middle of one of the massive islands, but still...
"Get me his comlink number!" Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd yelled, pointing at the image of Yu'umo'o smugly inflating his crests as he talked about how hopefully the Confederacy and the Unified Council could get by what was obviously a tragic mistake regarding an attempt to provide medical assistance being mistaken for biowarfare and how unaligned elements of the military, successionists who were fighting against the council, had attacked Harmony.
"I have it, Comrade Ya'ahrd," Otto said.
His comlink clicked a few times then it was answered. "Most High Yu'umo'o here. Who is this and how did you get this comlink number?"
"You neo-sapient sexual molester, what makes you think you can intrude on my operational sphere and get away with it?" Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd asked, shaking with rage.
"Ah, Ya'ahrd," there was a muffled question. "No, it's Secret Agent Ya'ahrd. He's upset that I'm setting up an espionage operation under the cover of a diplomatic mission."
There was muffled laughter.
"I doubt it. I've already gotten away with it," Yu'umo'o gloated.
"We'll see about that," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd snapped and shut off the comlink. He threw the remote and the Tri-Vid changed channels to show a big brown duck paddling around a pond, focusing on the fact a back gate was open and swinging gently in the breeze.
"No time to rest, we must hurry to the volcano lair before my arch-rival Yu'umo'o is able to interfere with my operations," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd barked. He snapped his fingers at the closet. "Quickly, ninjas, to the Ya'ahrd Mobile!"
The closet door opened and the two ninjas somersaulted out then jumped out the window, leaving behind a cloud of smoke. On the Tri-Vid the screen was showing a big brown waterfowl with gleaming golden-brown feathers on its body and a tail of brillant multi-hue feathers spread out like a colorful rainbow, all being sighed at by muscular gray skinned females as it waddled down the sidewalk.
Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd grabbed his shotgun and grenade launcher, fuming as he ran for his car.
"Oh, he will rue the day, yes he will," he muttered as he got in.
>jams popcorn in his mouth with both hands.
It's so exciting!
I can't stop watching. It's like a slow motion train wreck.
Is it wrong that I can't stop laughing?
I don't understand what's so funny? Now there's ANOTHER group of spies on Terra?
And the first one stole valuable military secrets?
Why is it all funny?
Oh my God, the porn in the background as he ran out of the room. I couldn't stop laughing.
Why isn't TerraSol worried?
Those two are going to be so busy with each other that they won't get anything done.
They're both confined to islands with restricted airspace and can only operate through locally hired employees. They're going to be monitored in ways that are borderline illegal.
My money's on Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd sending ninjas after the other guy.
I'll take some of that action. I bet he tries to run him over with his car.
This is just so exciting!
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submitted by Ralts_Bloodthorne to HFY [link] [comments]

r/Csgohacks Pinned post v5 (small updates)

Contents listed in order:
1. Cheat Features and meanings (urbandictionary but for csgo cheating) 2. Paid Cheats 3. Free Cheats 4. Basic Guide to cfging hvh cheats (not by me) 5. Overwatch and VAC bans, and how to prevent them.
Cheat Features and Terms you must know: Slang: • P2C - paid cheat
• F2C - free cheat
• HvH - hack versus hack (“rage” or “spin botting” cheaters versus each other, typically done on community servers.)
• hitting p/ p100 / mega p etc. - good. hvh term
• uff ja / hhhhhh / laff / n1 - retard hvh speak
• 1 - (hvh) means you got killed in one headshot
• dump - when a hvh cheat shoots at a persons “fake” or desync
• baim - body aim
[email protected] - (hvh) saying hello to “media”. same use as “hello youtube!”
• “you’re sliding” - someone can see your feet fail to do the walk animation, usually an indication of legit aa (defined in cheat features). This is said to call out closet cheaters.
• Closet cheaters - people that are cheating but will not admit it.
Cheat Features (hvh cheat features will be under the cfg guide)
• Aimbot/aim assistance - unnatural aim assistance .
• Smoothing - affects the speed at which the aimbot • Hitbox - what the aimbot will aim at.
• Delay - the delay before the aimbot acitvates
• Silent aim - the aimbot will not lock on for your view only !! overwatch and spectator still see you lock on
• Backtrack - an exploit which allows you to shoot at where a certain player was and still hit them. Usually is configured in Ticks or ms.
• RCS - recoil control system
• FOV - The size of the zone from your crosshair that the aimbot will engage enemies in.
• Shot delay - the shot number specified before aimbot targets an enemy
Visuals (only ones that aren’t defined in the name. e.g. Healthbar)
• Chams - colours playermodels and/or changes their materials. not visible through walls
• Traceline - draws a line from your model to the type of person specified
• Draw FOV - shows the FOV of your aimbot
•Playermodel FOV - alters your playermodel FOV (makes ur hands furthecloser)
• Backtrack chams / History Chams - shows an enemie’s location history, and where they can be backtracked to.
• Flags (common ones include: money, flashed, distance, etc.) : draws text next to a person if they meet a condition of the flag (e.g. if a person is flashed then the “flashed” text will appear on your esp next to them), or displays the info specified (e.g “Money” simply shows you the amount of money a person has.”
• Spread circle - shows the weapon spread
• Grenade Helper - shows the path of your grenade before you throw it
• Damage indicators - shows damage you did to an enemy
• Knife/Zeus range - draws the range that the knife or zeus can do damage in around your playermodel (useful in thirdperson)
• Autostrafe - automatically stafes for you. Looks like you are doing nothing on your screen.
• Fast stop - exploit allowing a quicker stop from walking.
• Fast duck/unlimited duck - exploit that breaks crouch stamina
• Name stealer - changes your name around based on other players’ names in the match with you.
• Slide walk - makes your playermodel slide when walking.
Cheats* Here’s a master guide of the biggest csgo cheats and info to help you buy :)
Alternative flowchart:
(free cheats toward bottom uwu)
<> Legit <>
• Iniuria -
Upsides: great cheat, undetected for ages. Has tons of features and customization. Offers lifetime. Downsides: Cheat is solely for legit, which is fine if you’re prime. Another downside is it’s a little more expensive the other legit cheats. 

Absolute shit. Watch these videos:
• Novolinehook (application)
 Upsides: Great cheat, solid undetection, great feature etc. Downsides: invite only, expensive 
• Aimware (public) Good for HVH and legit, definitely not safe for main though; used by lots of people so will likely be hit in VAC waves.

• 420Cheats, Redeye Cheats, 5dollarchears, (there are more)
Upsides- Cheap Downsides- shit cheats, vac dtc often, all pasted by same people 

<~> HvH <~>
(also can be used for legit but mainly hvh), also Here’s a pretty nice guide to HvH features.
Upsides: Good cheat, solid choice altogether. The cheat has tons of history. Has lua support and tons of luas for free. Easy enough to cfg. Good desync and aa options. Has a better legitbot than Offers lifetime. Downsides: VAC Auth errors and (albeit rarely,) vac wave detection. The cheat isn’t updated often at all, resulting in a gradual decline in how competent it is. The mods are retarded as hell. The userbase is cancerous and will defend their cheat till the end. (i have used aw) Worse for hvh than skeet and onetap. HWID Resets can take a week or more and your account can get banned for nothing. 

Upsides: overall best public cheat for hvh. Awesome fakelag and backtrack as well as resolver. Has simple cfg system and custom model and skybox changer. Great visuals. Constantly being updated and improved. HWID RESETS IN MINUTES!! Has a good mod team. Has p exploits that hide your On Shot aa and one that breaks enemy backtrack. Their slowwalk aa is p is well. Downsides: Legitbot is kinda wack but they just totally reworked it and it’s decent now, but i personally like aimware legitbot more. Onetaps legit aa is safe and doesnt desync to the max which isn’t fun for trolling. The mods also refuse to acknowledge the cheat misses sometimes XD

• Fatality (invite only)
Upsides/Downsides: Overall decent cheat. Not great, not bad. Personally wouldn’t recommend but i’ve never used it. 

•Skeet/Gamesense (invite only)
Upsides: Best hvh cheat with the right cfg and luas. Has awesome features. Honestly not writing about it, everyone knows this shit already. Downsides: Way overhyped. Everyone loses their shit when someone has skeet but it’s honestly not that great. Private and it’s really hard to get an invite. Skeet HWID locks are absolute cancer and occasionally you’ll get errors for removing usb devices. The mods will ban you if they see anything they deem sus. Resolver is meh. 

• (invite only, but invites are super easy to get. public now)
Upsides/Downsides: Lots of features, cheap. Pretty shit cheat, most of the features it has are broken. The dev is pretty retarded and needs constant help on unknown cheats. However, recently it’s been getting better so we’ll see where it goes from here, but for now stay away. 
• Fanta (all versions, some are invite only)
Upsides: Good features, different versions of the cheat. Overall decent for semi rage, shit for closet legit. Downsides: Obviously pasted, shitty cheat. The userbase will defend it to death tho. 

HvH only: Onetap or Aimware for public, skeet for private.
HvH/Legit: Aimware.
Legit only: Iniuria if public, novolinehook if private.
remember, all free cheats have a SUBSTANTIALLY higher chance of getting you vac banned. If you have any intention of long-term cheating on an account you value, remember and heed this warning
*~~Legit~~* - Charlanto // Ratpoison: ONLY UNDETECTED FREE CHEAT. Ratpoison is better imo. If you have installation problems look up on google or youtube. Best free cheat for legit.
-EZFRAGS - MEGA P BEST CHEAT /s (don’t use this shit ever k thanks)
Cheat sources (to paste) to keep your paste UDTC, you must change the code often, add junk code, use a proper injector (if you need one HMU, it’s free) and know how to use features and hooks correctly. not the best bet for beginners
-Sensum: best legit source imo
-Osiris: great alternative to Sensum, p features
-gladiatorz- no
-anything else for legit: no
all free hvh cheats will get raped against p2c btw, good luck
Best Sources to paste from:
<~>Basic Cfg Guide<~> Great introduction to hvh settings (post NOT by me)
My cfg: add discord @ Factor#4025
}~{ VAC & Overwatch }~{
(not going over obvious stuff like VAC is a perm ban)
``` 1. VAC is a result of your cheat being detected.
  1. VAC is not an IP or HWID ban.
  2. VAC bans can be delayed.
  3. VAC bans cannot be lifted
  4. Some overwatch bans turn into VAC bans.
  5. Using phone number for accounts means that if one gets banned the other will too.```

  1. Overwatch is when a player watches a demo of you playing and decides if you are cheating or not. The player has the option to ban you.
  2. Not all overwatch bans are perm bans.
  3. It is unknown how many reports it takes to send a player to overwatch. Common belief is around 11 reports in 24 hours.
  4. Great Overwatchers notice: -Extreme Fakelag -Any triggerbot without high delay and proper deadzone (especially “magnet” triggerbot) -Low smooth aimbot -High RCS -ANY bhops and autostrafe!! -obviously any rage settings `
If you want to act legit for ANY spectators, don't use walls, just radar hack, and a very small FOV aimbot + 50% RCS.
If you just don't want to get banned (spectators will probably suspect you but OW probably won't convict) just die from behind a few times.
Factor#1337 on discord :)
Trusted launch: Can sometimes stop free internal cheats, anyone with a brain can bypass it, and every half decent paid cheat bypasses it.
If you are at all concerned about privacy, don't run random free cheats or not well known paid cheats. If you are super serious don't use any paid cheat, just use open source cheats (ratpoison is UD, osiris requires some work to make it UD)
submitted by throwaway27727394927 to Csgohacks [link] [comments]

The CW Drug Addiction Fueled Murders Theory

The CW Drug Addiction Fueled Murders Theory
We've had a few posts in here that look at drug use as a factor in the Watts murders. The more I obsessively think about and research this case, the more I'm starting to believe this was a way bigger factor than I thought at the start. It begins to explain so many things. I wanted to bring support for this into one post that ties together some additional support for this theory along with prior discussions.
Oil & Gas Drug Culture
Yesterday I re-read the transcript of NK's 8/23/18 interview. It really struck me this time around much time NK had spent in the oil fields and how much she did not want to go back. She made several references to it, which I'll paste below. In these screenshots, N = NK, K = Agent Koback and H = Hazel (Weld Co victim advocate)

Ref 1

Ref 2

Ref 3

Ref 4
All this talk about the oil field made me revisit the drug theory again in my mind. I did some reading on the oil and gas industry and how drugs are a big problem. The biggest problem is cheap meth coming into the oil fields from Mexico via the drug cartels. So I think it's a safe bet to assume that NK and CW were surrounded by a drug culture saturated with meth.
Coke, meth and booze: The flip side of the fastest-growing US oil region
Oil, Gas, and Crime: The Dark Side of the Boomtown
A Potential Meth Problem for CW
So many things about CW start to make sense if you look at them in the light of drug addiciton, especially meth. First and foremost is the complete personality change that had to have happened to him to become so careless about a family he seemed to love so dearly at one time. Again and again we hear from his friends and family about how it was just not possible for him to commit this crime. If you go and watch videos of him with this children, it's easy to believe why they would think that.
Consider some of the longer term effects of meth use and how we can see them in CW
  • Psychosis (paranoia or hallucinations): CW mentions several of these in Cadle's book
  • Memory loss: CW has been claiming to his jail penpal friend Shannon that memory problems are causing him not to remember details of the murders which is ostensibly why he's had trouble telling a consistent version of what happened.
  • Aggressive or violent behavior: CW annhilated his family.
  • Extreme weight loss: this one is also very evident, espcially in the final month before the murder. I believe NK said he lost a lot of weight in a very short period of time. One has to wonder how he could stay up all night with her and then go out to the field at the crack of dawn for a full shift of work
  • Inconsistent sleeping patterns: NK spoke of this in her interviews - about he would stay up all night but then randomly fall asleep in the middle of a conversation
  • Increased libido: NK said they were having sex 4 - 5 times a day at the peak of their sexual relationship
Meth use can also cause pupils to dilate to an unnatural size. While I don't have any links on this one yet, I know NK mentioned how his eyes would look totally black at one point. I think Cadle's book may have mentioned this as well.
CW's Funny Money
We all know that the Watts struggled with money and SW seemed to be the one in control of the cash. In light of that, I always found it interesting that NK talked about how CW used his prepaid gift card from APC to pay for their excursions. It seemed like he must have had a fair amount of cash on it and the discovery doc talks about how he looked up the balance frequently. If you belive Trent Bolte, CW also somehow had enough cash around to pay for lip injections and sexual encounters.
We also know that CW had access to oxy via the bin in the basement, which appears to have had enough oxy in it to alarm the police officer escorting Jane and her dog (so much so she took photos of it - the only thing she took pics of that I could see).
Here's some speculation based on all of this: what if CW was selling oxy to finance his extramarital activites and his own drug problem? If so, he'd need a way to get the cash usable so it would be less conspicuous - a (reloadable) pre-paid card might be a great way to do that.
Association with Addicts
Although we're not sure how credible he is, Trent Bolte admits he had to go to rehab for drug use where he met the man he calls his ex-boyfriend, DF, also an oil worker. We also had a great post yesterday from u/absnsbajkal about rumors of NK potentially being a meth addict herself. Also, recall the text from CW to NK on 6/27/18, where CW appears to be responding to an invitation from NK (which we don't see) to partake in a weird combination of "ice cream, cookies and lollipops" (which he says "sounds like a cheat meal"). I previously did research into how those are DEA known street slang terms for meth and fentanyl.
We also had Koback observing NK having tremors in her hands in her 8/23/18 interview, which is a known symptom of meth use

Tremors from drug use?
Finally, we may also have video proof of him using drugs in NK's company. Jimeva Crime Time came out with another great video this week: Chris Watts-Watt Was Really Going On Inside Nk's Apartment? This video may show CW smoking a drug. We know CW was not a smoker. Meth is a drug that can be smoked. CW told Cadle that NK & friends were into some dark things at her apartment. Maybe the dark things had to do with drug use?
The Sand Dunes Trip to Addict Country
Alamosa County, in which the Sand Dunes are located, is the center of Colorado's own opioid crisis. I think this is why Agent Koback seems to sound so dismayed when he talks about his experience working down there in one of his NK interviews. CW told Cadle that the "turning point" for him was that trip to the Sand Dunes. She said he wept on the anniversary of that trip. What happened there? Did he find someone he could pay to kill his family? Why did he feel there was no turning back after that?
A Reason to Plea
A drug addiction would be a good reason to explain why CW plead guilty so quickly. I think it would help to protect him from having his addiction and all the activities he did around it exposed to his family - his dad in particular. It would also help to protect NK, who may have suffered from and supported him in that addiction. NK was very worried about an investigation into and exposure of her by the media. At a minimum, she may have had drug problems in her past that would be revealed. Worst case, she may have had an active drug problem alongside CW and, knowingly or not, was a key part in fueling it to the point of him killing his family or having his family killed.
A Sad Conclusion
I've watched documentaries and have seen in my own extended family how meth and opiod addiction just absolutely devastates humans to a degree that I just couldn't even fathom - people you would never suspect were drug users to begin with, people who were raised by loving parents in supportive homes like CW apparently was. I know recovery is possible, and I have the utmost respect for those who have done it, but being in the throes of a meth or opioid addiction can make someone unrecognizable, making them seemingly care only about getting high and losing all regard for anything else in their lives. It's so sad - sad enough to explain the unbelievable nightmare that happened to CW's family.
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“The Way To Eden” - First Time Viewing Reaction

Noob Trek 75 - The Way To Eden
1960s TV announcer voice: “Captain Kirk and his valiant crew have faced Klingons, Romulans, giant space monsters, powerful cosmic entities. Now they face the greatest terror of all, as a drum circle threatens to break out on the enterprise.”
That was a thing that I saw.
Thanks for reading the review and I’ll see you next time for The Cloudminders.

Damn, they're still here.
I guess I have to write this up then. Wait a second, I need something to keep me going.
(looking through album collection) Ya like Huey Lewis And The News? Their early stuff was a little too new wave for my taste, but when they released Sports in 1983, the refined, crisp clean production really gave the songs a boost that - ah, found it. (waves 666 by Aphrodite’s Child in the air)
After this episode I have a real appetite for a psychedelic classic to put on while I type up my review. I end up going with 666 by Aphrodite’s Child, which if you’ve never heard you really need to. It’s a double album too, so at 82 minutes* it may just be long enough for me to process this episode of Star Trek what I just saw.
*”82 minutes?” cry the no doubt numerous connoisseurs of 70s Greek psych rock who also frequent the Star Trek reddit. “But my copy of 666 only runs 77 minutes!” Ah, but I have the uncensored original pressing which contains 5 minutes of gorgeous Greek actress Irene Papas simulating an orgasm that was clipped from many issues of the album. Bet you want to hear it now huh?
Yes it’s quite the preamble this time isn’t it? It’s almost like I’m trying to delay something.
Now I have to say, I think this is going to be like Plato’s Stepchildren but more so in that I didn’t hate it but I suspect that many people will. The Way To Eden flirts with being one of the worst episodes of the show yet, but some intriguing and daring ideas plus a few laughs (albeit unintentional) save it from being a true piece of refuse.
The first thing I notice is Elizabeth Rogers sitting in for Uhura - why hello young lady. Shame she doesn’t do anything. I was kind of hoping she would join the hippies and take all her clothes off and run around. FOR DRAMATIC CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT PURPOSES.
They go to the transporter room and beam aboard the rascals escaping aboard the stolen vehicle. Oh no I moan to myself; LARPers. No wait, worse than LARPers, they’re Deadheads. One of them is called Tongo Rad, hahahahahaha, oh brother. And look at his costume. Is he played by Tim Heidecker? Rad also doesn’t matter very much despite him being presented to us as a big deal. Rad’s hair will continue to bother me throughout the episode, as will Sevrin’s sundried ears.
So clearly someone on the writing team heard A Piper At The Gates Of Dawn and was frightened. It’s a shame actually, because while the execution is comical, the idea of taking on hippy youth culture and protests with Kirk representing the man is quite daring. It’s funny today because we now know a lot of hippies would sell out when they realised they they were too soft to farm manually and they would become Gordon Gecko in twenty years time, but in the context of 1968 this would have been extremely contemporary and timely. They even reference dropping out with Irina’s quitting Starfleet, and Dr Sevrin appears to be an analogue for Timothy Leary.
I’ve mentioned this before but I’m a musical obsessive and music pub quiz champion and music is the thing I’m closest to being an expert on. Subsequently when I see an episode like this, which is drenched with a sort of clueless awareness of the Haight-Ashbury scene, things happen like Strawberry Alarm Clock‘s Incense And Peppermints playing on a loop in my head. Hey, did you know that Steve Bartek, who would be in Oingo Boingo later on with Danny Elfman, joined Strawberry Alarm Clock when he was only fifteen? Meanwhile Strawberry Alarm Clock guitarist Ed King left the band and joined Lynyrd Skynyrd and wrote Sweet Home Alabama for them. It seems part of my brain has recognised the danger this episode poses and is thinking of this stuff to prevent me from paying close attention to the actual show.
So a Herbert is a square? Why is Spock up on their hep lingo? Cut to Spock’s bedroom with a bunch of Phish posters on the wall. Kirk is in an unusual role as the fuddy duddy old heel, while Spock’s emotionless logical approach counterintuitive allows him to be more objective and open minded about the hippy ideas. “They regard themselves as aliens in their own world, a condition which I am somewhat familiar.” Good line.
You know what though, they‘re giving this a good try. Acting isn’t too bad (aside from one guy who I’ll skin alive momentarily) and yes the tone is a bit wide eyed and silly, but so is the premise of what they hippies are trying to do so it matches. I also don’t mind the made-up slang they use, it’s quite fun, cute even. Yes it doesn’t work if you take it deadly serious, but I don’t think we’re supposed to.
I’m just thinking this episode isn’t so bad and then the musical number starts. I’m surprised this sequence isn’t internet famous. Is that Quentin Tarantino playing the singing one? What awful lip synching and wigs. Why do they have fruit chalked on their foreheads? Why do they have eggs pinned to them? My brain starts to melt during this scene and there’s several more like it coming up. I actually started groaning aloud when the second song wouldn’t stop and my wife came in to see what was wrong, then looked at the screen and just about fell on her ass laughing. I’m sorry, but fuck Charles Napier. Fuck him. He’s the guy I mentioned before who drags this episode down - he’s screamingly awful and when he’s in focus this episode is just as bad as the legends say. It’s not just his insufferably terrible musical numbers, but every line he says, and his hair and his eyes and his clothes make me want to punch him in the face. When he dies I was like “Oh thank god” which rather undermined the tragic arc I imagine the show was going for. Imagine if they’d just hired Jefferson Airplane to play the hippies.
”Why do you wear all those clothes?” Irina says. Uh oh, here comes the love-in. Her own clothes are barely hanging on. Irina kinda grows on me - Russian accent is fake, but then so is Chekov’s, and she has a nice, believable air to her. Chekov meeting his ex is a good little touch, and again it’s nice to see a beefier role for the supporting cast.
Meanwhile out in the hallway, Sulu is in. I find the girl he is talking to cute/familiar and look her up and it was the useless yeoman from The Galileo Seven! (The entry also informs me that this actress, Phyllis Boyce, was a child actor in Gone With The Wind at age 3. The things we learn.) And even though she’s a minor role, I fall in love with Deborah Downey a bit.
At some point during this I begin to feel like I’ve taken something myself and I begin to lose the ability to write in paragraphs. All I can manage is the following scattershot observations.
I love how Spock has a conversation with Sevrin in which they attempt to reach an understanding of each other and then we hard cut to Spock saying “Dr Severin is insane”. Hilarious.
The Vulcan instrument which is both electronic organ and lyre is interesting. Does it have a name?
The conversation the hippies have about whether they can get the crew to “swing” has me all kinds of nervous.
These guard knockouts in this episode are among the lamest things the show has yet done. The pathetic squeaking the guards do too.
I do love the crewman on the bridge getting down to the music.
I like Kirk’s line that he used to get into a little trouble when he was that age, he has something of the reformed bad boy about him.
Why are the hippies disrupting the ship‘s activities when they’re trying to find Eden for them? They also pivot to murdering everyone on board pretty quickly. Those insane people huh.
How do they even identify Eden? Chekov describes a method of detecting unknown planets, but why is this particular one Eden?
Eden does look nice.
It’s our old pal the Galileo!
How/Why did Adam get off the shuttle before the others?
What was the point of that? There’s a severe lack of explanation/aftermath. So they found a planet the pronounced Eden, it was full of poison, two of them ate it and died. But why? Why is there a random poison planet believed to be a paradise? Wasn’t part of the legend about natives on the planet, what happened to them? Did I miss something or did the storyline about Sevrin’s illness go nowhere? What are they trying to say here? Hippy’s are idiots and their ideals are a deadly mirage?
Why did they keep bringing up the Romulans? It didn’t matter at all..
I would’ve paid cash money for Spock to close the episode by saying to Kirk “We reach... Herbert.”
Please tell me the official title for mods on the reddit is Herbert.
So yeah. You know what, maybe this is worse than I first thought. It‘s yet another episode that makes less sense the more you think about it, perhaps a misguided attempt to be groovy and way out to appeal to a youth audience, given how much time they spent on those musical numbers rather than adequately fleshing out the story. It was all like a strange dream, I’m having trouble even remembering it now. But flawed as this is in many many ways, it’s just too adorable for me to really hate it. I wouldn’t want Trek to be like this every week, but I’m glad it exists and I’ll take the occasaional WTF episode like this over dry, forgettable material like The Lights Of Zetar any time.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to finish cleaning out my soul by listening to Gong’s You.
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I Read It So You Don't Have To: Secrets of the Southern Belle (by Phaedra Parks)

I hope the past few days have been restful and rejuvenating for you all, but -- as I'm sure you must have learned by this point -- the journey to personal betterment is an eternal endeavor. We haven't got a moment to waste, so let's bid adieu to the sunny serenity of the California coast and settle in down South with Real Housewives of Atlanta's Phaedra Parks, as she descends from her ivory porch swing and illuminates the esoteric in Secrets of the Southern Belle: How to Be Nice, Work Hard, Look Pretty, Have Fun, and Never Have an Off Moment.
True to the title's descriptive and straightforward sentiments, Phaedra begins the book with a concise synthesis of the worldview she hopes to present:
I believe every woman should be a Southern Belle or minimally aspire to being more ladylike, charming, and intelligent, because we should all be treated well.
As she continues, we get our first glimpse of the deep well of compassion that underlies Phaedra's mission to improve the lives of those around her.
Honestly, I sometimes feel sorry for women of northern persuasion. There they are rushing around in their baggy, drab clothes, doing everything for themselves and looking like they just rolled out of bed. They don't seem to understand there's a better way.
Thankfully, I no longer have to count myself among that witless horde. I feel like, until this fateful moment, I have been living like one of those people from the black-and-white "before" footage of an infomercial -- haphazardly bumbling through the most menial of daily tasks with no way of knowing how much brighter my world could be. Phaedra has freed me from Plato's Cave, and I have no choice but to follow her instruction and strive to shape myself in her image.
A true Southern Belle is known -- first and foremost -- for her fundamental kindness and compassion towards others, so it is only appropriate that the book's first section is succinctly titled, "Be Nice." However, even this simple directive has been trampled by the corrupting influence of the modern world. As Phaedra laments,
Unfortunately, as we see more migration from other parts of the world, we also see an increase of poor manners and rude behavior.
She elaborates, providing specific examples of the personal injuries incurred as a result of these unmannered interlopers.
I find it particularly odd in business, when the salespeople or tellers don't speak or thank you for your patronage. Don't they realize that without customers they would not have a job?
I, too, find it offensive when minimum-wage workers have the nerve to act like actual human beings rather than automatons at the mercy of my personal whims, and I appreciate that Phaedra is bold enough to ask the question that has undoubtedly been on the tip of our collective tongue. Yet somehow, she still remains humble enough to freely admit where she has room to learn; here, she lets the reader in on "something I've never quite understood about non-southerners:"
They're suspicious of basic southern warmth because they're worried it's insincere. But at the same time, they will tell you the most inappropriate things! They tell you stuff about their health that you don't want to know. They launch into crazy stories about their terrible childhoods and how misunderstood they are. They complain about what happened long ago, and they fret openly about the future. Then they tell you what they paid for things and you want to crawl under the table.
Frankly, that's not very attractive.
What is attractive, then, you may ask? Effusive compliments, for one thing -- "I don't know why some people are so concerned with being sincere, when being nice is so much more effective." We also learn to "never contradict anyone, even if you know they are wrong." Phaedra illustrates this particular lesson with the following example:
If someone tells you that your taxes are due on April 30 instead of April 15, you look puzzled and say, "Goodness, I had no idea. Did they change the date?"
And what happens after that? Either the person says yes and you're forced to play along with whatever bizarre delusion and/or power-play your companion is currently indulging, or they say no and you say -- what? "Right, of course, I knew that the whole time!" Or, "Gotcha! It's April 15th, you incompetent fraud!" Or maybe, "I don't even know what taxes are -- money is for menfolk!" I just can't imagine any of those scenarios playing out with less discomfort than a simple correction, but after four years living in New England, I can only assume that's just northern negativity clouding my vision.
We are next presented with a list of "compliments that come in handy," a few of which I've transcribed below for immediate incorporation into your own phrasal repertoire.
What an interesting way to think about it. (Good for a point on which you disagree with someone.)

You thought of every little detail; I love a meticulous lady!

Wow! That is so original. I would never have put it together like that. (In this South this might mean, "I hate it," but in a polite way.)
Boss Babe is out -- Meticulous Lady is in! Phaedra reminds us to keep health concerns -- "especially female issues" -- far from polite conversation, then shifts gears to a much-needed lesson in verbal comportment. It's not just their "attractive regional accents" that distinguish Southern Belles from their less-attractive northern counterparts; they also devote great attention to evoking grace through their cadence and tone.
Sometimes northern women can sound awfully abrupt. It's just a habit they have, poor things.
If you'd like to take your place amongst esteemed gentility, however, I urge you to change your ways! For one thing, when speaking, "slip in something affectionate so that a very harsh reality doesn't come across as rude or abrupt." For example, see how much unpleasant confrontation is avoided with the following turn of phrase:
Darling, don't you know you're too smart and pretty to be the town drunk?
Silly girl, haven't you heard? Addiction is for ugly people! You should also feel free to use these compliments liberally throughout conversation -- "You don't have to mean it, you know." As an example:
If you can tell that someone has put a lot of effort into a particular aspect of her outfit, just draw attention to it. Sparkly stars-and-stripes high heels could be terribly tacky, but you bet they're supposed to be noticed, so go ahead and do it. "Those are certainly patriotic shoes!"
Let me take a crack at it -- This book certainly has a lot of words in it! Writing a book is such an impressive achievement -- I'm sure it feels so rewarding to finally see it In print! And I love the way you occasionally use infinity signs as bullet points -- it's so evocative! I think I'm getting the hang of this!
"Another southern difference?" As Phaedra informs us, "we try not to make direct requests. It just sounds so forward and frankly unpleasant if someone comes right out and says what they want from you." Phaedra's Starbucks barista must really despise her -- If it isn't too much trouble, could I bother you for something to drink? No, anything's fine -- I wouldn't want to impose.
Almost like a modern-day Rosetta Stone, the next passage introduces us to the nuanced connotations that pervade a true Belle's vocabulary. For example, Phaedra tells the reader that "if I tell someone 'Goodness, you must have spent all day on your hair. I am so impressed!' it really means I hate it." Before I manage to convey how impressed I am by the book before me, I read on to learn that "when you're discussing a homely girl, you generally say, 'She's so smart!' The general thought is you can't be both ugly and dumb. God wouldn't be that cruel." Please excuse me while I take a few hours to re-analyze every compliment I've ever been given in my entire life.
Now that that's done, here are a few more translations to help you decipher the Belles in your life.
Belle-Speak: She's a nurse-in-training.
Unvarnished Truth: She dates only old men.

Belle-Speak: She's a butter face.
Unvarnished Truth: Everything looks good but her face.

Belle-Speak: Hope he's got money.
Unvarnished Truth: He's unattractive and pays for affection.
The second one is not even really a euphemism so much as Phaedra trying to demonstrate her knowledge of hip modern slang, but I digress. We transition into advice for conversation starters -- "don't throw them complicated or controversial subjects like politics, animal rights, or local zoning." Truly, I can't tell you how many times I've been approached at a party with an opener about municipal ordinances, and it just kills the mood like nothing else. Worried about how you'll ever find something to talk about under these restrictions?
Don't worry about sounding interesting. "Interesting" is an overrated notion. Just fill the empty air.
That…explains a lot, actually.
Our next lesson is in reference to dinner parties -- "don't make a fuss, unless you're complimenting the cook." In case you're confused as to how this guidance should be interpreted, Phaedra clarifies with some examples -- "'Is there meat in here? I'm a vegetarian' is the wrong kind of fuss." Since I typically ask this question while flailing my arms wildly and making intermittent whooping noises, I completely understand how it could be disruptive amongst refined company. Although I'm starting to get a bit nervous that I won't be able to keep track of these seemingly countless rules, Phaedra's next assurance puts my mind at ease: "If all else fails, remember the secret weapon of the Southern Belle is delicate helplessness."
In the next passage, we learn that, "if there's any characteristic that defines a Southern Belle, it's her habit of firing off little notes on any occasion." Just as with verbal compliments, these notes require little to no basis in factual reality -- "obviously it's perfectly all right to exaggerate." But while truthfulness is more or less dispensable, your choice of writing implement could have grave repercussions. As Phaedra exhorts, "Never, ever write a letter in pencil. You might as well not bother at all." Within the realm of pens, however, "blue and black are perfectly acceptable, even if they do lack panache."
We return once again to the topic of appropriate subjects for conversation, and are cautioned against asking anyone their age. Of course, wild speculation is encouraged, "as long as you're out of earshot." In the next tip, Phaedra declares: "Don't discuss the cost of anything. Any discussion of cost is just in poor taste." I just can't help picture how much of a nightmare this woman must be at a fast-food drive-through. Our final instruction?
Don't discuss hair color. Men always pretend they don't dye their hair, so you just have to go with it.
At first glance, this seems reasonable enough, especially in the context of the social graces espoused by the book so far. However, Phaedra's attempt at further explanation quickly begins to careen off-course.
For women, it's a little bit more complicated because you have the question of whether the drapes match the carpet, so to speak. And I do know some who dye the carpet to match -- that was the big thing in high school. Now with all this weird waxing, you don't have to do as much dyeing, but that's another thing you don't talk about either!
Let's see if I've got this straight: I should always believe a man about his purported hair color no matter what, but if a woman tries to lie about hers, she'll get caught…because I will inevitably be forced to confront the realities of her pubic hair? An intimate partner, sure, but I just can't imagine this situation arises with enough frequency to merit even the few lines its given in this text. And honestly, at this point, I don't even think I want to know what Phaedra means by "weird waxing."
This section of the book concludes with a final catalog of "the 'She did what?' mistakes." The list starts off strong with "wearing white to another woman's wedding." However, by the time we end on the most unimaginable of atrocities -- "drinking beer from a bottle" -- I'm beginning to wonder if this list was actually supposed to have been titled "things the sexy homewrecker does in a bro-country music video."
The following section is titled, "Work Hard," and I am immediately inspired to do exactly so by the implicit challenge thrown down in Phaedra's opening lines, in which she coquettishly asks, "Who always delivers a presentation on time, with the printed materials perfectly written and proofread?" I'm usually quite good at taming my most pedantic impulses, but contrarian passions I never knew I had are foaming at the mouth to find an upcoming typo and self-righteously call her bluff. Although perhaps I should find a more feminine way to phrase that; as Phaedra cautions, "we don't like to think of ourselves as driven, because that sounds so neurotic and unpleasant."
We next learn that "you cannot be a Southern Belle unless you understand what it is to be ladylike." But unfortunately, it is all too easy to be caught up in the ways of the world and lose sight of this primary calling.
A lot of women today enjoy being the feisty, brassy, foul-mouthed kind of gal who drinks with men and shows a lot of flesh. They think it's cool.
Phaedra continues and reflects that, "I've heard the argument that this is progress, from the feminist point of view, but I don't necessarily agree." I can never remember -- which wave of feminism was the one with all the feisty gals? But clearly, their agenda has gone too far! How, in contrast, does a delicate Southern Belle behave?
She looks as if she's heard of sex, probably has had sex, but has no plans to have sex with anybody in the immediate surroundings.
I'm not sure exactly how to convey this highly specific sentiment in any other way than purchasing a t-shirt custom-printed with the phrase, "I have heard of sex, have probably had sex, but have no plans to have sex with anybody in the immediate surroundings," so I hope that approach will suffice for now. Phaedra follows up by cautioning us that,
A lady never puts in the shop window what isn't for sale.
Personally, I like to think of myself as more of a museum than a gift shop, but to each their own! We next learn more about the delicate balance a Southern Belle must achieve in order to maintain her esteemed position. For example, while "she doesn't cuss and doesn't talk dirty," frigidity is similarly unbecoming -- "if somebody tells a good dirty joke in her vicinity, she'll laugh." I'm barely a third of the way through this book, and I'm already exhausted at the prospect of having to remember all of these hyper-specific edicts. It's no surprise that the Southern Belle has to remain consistently vigilant; as Phaedra intones, "coming from a Pentecostal family, I hate to see a woman down more than two drinks." It seems to me like the simplest way to avoid such emotional turmoil would be to simply refrain from compulsively tallying the beverage intake of strangers, but I soon learn there are far more perilous hazards lurking around every corner. Phaedra shares her personal strategy for avoiding the very implication of incivility in the following excerpt:
I don't ever go to the bar at a party; I think that just looks terrible. If I must have a glass of wine or crave a fruity adult libation, I'll ask a nearby man to procure it for me.
Sir! Procure me a fruity adult libation -- tout de suite! But I would hate to diminish the male gender by implying that they're only good for the acquisition of potables; no -- men can be leveraged in an increasingly broad array of day-to-day tasks. As Phaedra shares:
I have friends who have never in their lives pumped gas for their own cars. They will ask a complete stranger to do it for them. One of my besties from New Orleans will flag down a man, give him her credit card, and have him pump and pay for her gas.
Honestly, I can't help but wonder if this might actually be some kind of avantgarde performance art, in the tradition of Marina Abramović's Rhythm 0. Because the idea that this gambit has never gone horribly, horribly awry truly strains credulity. As I read on, however, I learn that my current train of thinking is sorely misguided.
Sometimes when I'm at a grocery store the fellow bagging the groceries will ask if he can take them out to my car. Why would you say no to this? But sometimes women do. And I look at them and sigh and think, "Poor thing. She has a lot to learn."
Thankfully for my personal development, the next chapter -- titled "A Crash Course in Being (Selectively) Helpless" promises exactly the sort of content that I so desperately need to understand. As Phaedra explains, a Southern Belle is "never intimidating, because some things she just can't do on her own." She goes on to offer concrete examples of how to incorporate this ethos into your life on beginner, intermediate, and expert levels.
Experts: assume help will arrive. Flat tire? Pull over to the curb, and don't sweat it. Can't figure out which wrench to buy at Home Depot? Or how to program your DVR? This is what former boyfriends and other gentlemen are for. Believe me, the age of chivalry is not dead.
Rent due? Don't sweat it -- a gallant gentleman likely already has a check in the mail. House burning to the ground around you? You should know a Belle doesn't walk down the hallway on her own two feet! Bear attack? I'm sure a male bear is just around the corner, ready to jump in and defend your honor!
Without a hint of irony, we transition to Phaedra's advice for the workplace. We learn that the quintessential gentlewoman is savvy, competent, and always at the top of her game. For instance, at her workplace, "she figures out how to work the coffee machine and the copy machine." With that kind of go-getting attitude, the Southern Belle will be bound for the C-suite in no time! Provided, of course,
She never does that thing I hear of in the North sometimes of telling you how little she paid for something. Why would you brag about bargains?
I can't hear the phrase that thing I hear of in the North in anything other than the voice of Tinsley's mother, Dale. Except she would probably use it in reference to something like "giving compliments to your daughter" or "weight gain." Regardless, a more appropriate question at this juncture might be, "Are you sure this book was proofread quite as judiciously as you claimed?" As I scan the page, my eyes happen upon the line:
10 percent for tithing, if your religion encourages tithing, which mines [sic] does.
Of course, it would be entirely uncouth for me to brag about my typographical superiority in this context, so now seems as good a time as any to exercise some of my newly acquired techniques. Oh, Phaedra -- bless her heart! I suppose we can't all be detail-oriented, can we? It must be nice to be so casual and carefree when you express yourself!
Without further ado, however, we move along to our next lesson -- "People don't know when you're hungry, because they can't hear your stomach growling, but they definitely know when you're homeless." To be honest, the more I think about this statement , the less sense it makes to me (people…can hear your stomach growling?). Luckily, with the jam-packed schedule of a Southern Belle, I simply don't have time to dwell on the issue for a moment longer!
Our next tutorial? " If you have one fabulous pair of shoes, you will wear them to church. It is the very least you can do for Jesus." As we all know, Jesus loves sweet kicks, so he loves nothing more than to see you rock the newest styles when you drop by on Sunday. And besides -- the higher the heel, the closer to heaven! Phaedra summarizes the Southern Belle's can-do attitude with the line: "We all may not be sitting around big ugly Formica boardroom tables, but we get things done." As someone who has only ever attended meetings held around moderately sized tables, I find this to be a validating sentiment.
When it comes to extracurricular pursuits, "beauty pageants are important." However, "as much as she loves performing, the Belle will not take to the stage: some of those theater people are just too peculiar, bless their hearts." Honestly, Phaedra and I come down on the same side on this one. But I will have to heartily disagree with her next passage -- with respect to traditions of stepping within Black Greek Life -- in which she states,
The traditionally white organizations don't have anything comparable.
Um, excuse me? Have you never seen this iconic video?! However, Phaedra does reassure us that she's far from ignorant in the ways of the world. As she states, "I have read about hookup culture and known a few easy women." Of course, easy men don't exist -- or at least, that's what I've read in all the most prominent textbooks regarding hookup culture. But don't mistake Phaedra's awareness for acceptance -- "that doesn't mean I like any of it." However, this sentiment is belied just a few paragraphs later, when our author recalls:
I offended the mother of one of my best friends once by booking some exotic entertainment at this friend's birthday party. My friend loved the anatomically exceptional dancer, but her mother was livid.
I'm sure that it was only your friend who loved the "anatomically exceptional" dancer, and I assume this must have been one of your aforementioned token "easy" friends, besides. A Southern Belle, in contrast, is interested in serious, long-term relationships. And for this purpose, "it would be much better to marry a young man that you can train. I have always said that I would rather be a babysitter than a geriatric nurse." Yet even these kinds of discrepancies seem trivial in comparison to the boundless passions of eternal love. As Phaedra shares,
I want Apollo and me to celebrate our fiftieth anniversary, so I try to overlook momentary annoyances.
That aged well. Bless her heart.
We're soon treated to a cheeky list of "what her husband doesn't know," which echoes several key themes from earlier in the book -- most notably in its bizarre fixation with pubic grooming.
He doesn't know what her true hair color is, because the curtains always match the carpet.

He doesn't know how often she waxes, or exactly what waxing entails.

He doesn't know that she has her own credit card, her own savings account, and a safe-deposit box.
I've got to say, that last one hits just a little bit different with hindsight. Always timely, however, are Phaedra's views on the importance of the homemaking arts. In this evocative passage, she describes the primal horror of an encounter with a woman tainted by an unimaginable curse:
A nice lady from another part of the country recently confessed to me that she doesn't know how to do any crafts. In fact, she said, she gets all nervous and antsy in crafts stores, because they're so full of things she doesn't understand. I laughed like I thought she was joking, but really, I felt bad for her. Imagine not knowing how to make all those cute objects that brighten up lives in the South! I shudder to think what the inside of her house looks like!
With that fable still ringing in my ears, we transition to the next section of the book: "Look Pretty." Phaedra reflects, "I am always shocked when I leave the South and encounter the enormous number of women who don't seem to understand how their clothes should fit." Now feels like an appropriate time to draw attention to the book's back cover, in which an open-mouthed Phaedra swivels her torso in such a way as to create a bulging protuberance across one half of her chest. In awe of her commitment to inclusivity, I now realize this could only have been an intentional choice to make herself seem more approachable to us northern oafs, and for that I am eternally grateful.
Phaedra goes on to inform us that, "personally, I prefer skirts and dresses over pants." However, although "high-waisted pants and pants with visible hem cuffs are quite elegant and ladylike," one should take care never to forget that "minimalism and menswear looks are just puzzling and not appealing to a Belle." I, too, must admit that I find menswear looks puzzling -- a girl? in boy clothes? I just can't make heads or tails of it! And this is far from the only contemporary fad that baffles the true Southern Belle. As Phaedra continues:
I've never understood the appeal of the natural look. It's so easy to improve your appearance; why wouldn't you take advantage of the many beauty aids available to you?
In a frankly unexpected dig against the ceramic arts, Phaedra notes that "unless you are a professional potter (and I don't think Southern Belles generally are), your nails need to be clean and filed." More generally, your physical proportions should remain mild and inobtrusive:
Ever since voluminous behinds became fashionable, I often see these lumpy, huge derrieres on women with legs as thin as a chicken's, and I think God would never put a rump roast on toothpicks, so why did you do that?
That's why I always caution my friends to pair their butt implants with a battery of leg implants, in order to really round out the overall contour of the body and mimic that structurally stable, God-given look. After all, as Phaedra quips: "'Knowledge is power' -- that's my motto." But this knowledge doesn’t come without a price; being as world-wise as Phaedra often requires direct confrontation with the atrocities of today's world. As she recounts, for example: "I was astonished to find out that not every woman possesses a lint roller." It's truly a tragedy to learn how the other half lives!
We are next informed that, "you have to have your ears pierced, but only one hole in each ear." The consequences for an infraction of this critical edict are left unvoiced, from which I can only assume that they are swift and merciless. Any self-respecting Southern Belle has a taste for the finer things in life, and Phaedra is no exception. As she remarks:
I love diamonds; I'd have a diamond duvet if I could afford it.
Because I am less fiscally endowed, I have had to settle for stuffing my duvet with assorted Swarovski crystals, at least for the time being. However, I'm eager to upgrade -- I can only imagine that the extra hardness of the diamonds will add a satisfying acupuncture affect to my nighttime regimen!
Phaedra moves on to fashion advice, and cautions the well-heeled Belle to remain conservative in her fashion choices. But don't worry -- there is a time and a place to let loose and express your more artistic side. Or, as Phaedra says, "something a little funky or ethnic may even be appropriate from time to time." To further illustrate this principle, she explains: "If I were going out West, for example, I might wear some turquoise bracelets."
But some things are a bridge too far! Any woman with a modicum of dignity would know never to be caught dead in "polar fleece," "a naughty-nurse costume," or "footed pajamas." We are also encouraged to carry around a hand fan -- "the elegant way to stay cool" -- as well as a "small leather-bound notebook for jotting down inspirations." I lose my train of thought for a moment, caught up in a daydream about the ingenious wonderings that must be contained within Phaedra's hallowed journal. But I'm brought back to reality by a declaration of "what's not in my purse," beginning with the stern pronouncement: "any kind of contraband substance."
Our pilgrimage to polite society continues with a comprehensive exploration of the monogram's social gravitas. As Phaedra intones, "I've even seen cars with a very discreet monogram on the driver's door." But with light must come darkness, and the next chapter bravely confronts an issue many others would fear to face: "Looking Like a Tramp" ("There, I came right out and said it," Phaedra breathlessly gasps below the harsh text of the passage's title). She gathers herself together and courageously reports, "some women look downright sleazy."
Alas -- even more tragically -- couture catastrophes are not restricted to those of legal majority. Phaedra heroically pulls back the curtain on a nationwide epidemic of wardrobe misconduct being perpetrated against society's most vulnerable:
I saw a picture not long ago of some hippies or hipsters or whatever you call them from some remote city. The parents looked the way you'd expect them to look, a little bit bedraggled, but the worst thing was they had this adorable little baby all done up in a black onesie. And as far as I could tell, it wasn't even Halloween!
How to combat this terrifying trend? Phaedra offers words of wisdom: "Little Southern Belles always look sweet and appropriately girlish." Specifically, we are encouraged to incorporate design elements like "tasteful, conservative rickrack." By way of further explanation, she clarifies that, "what they don't do is dress like Lady Gaga in dresses made of butchers' best cuts of beef." I'm disappointed to learn that my idea for an Etsy store selling bespoke meat-based children's clothing might be a nonstarter, but I suppose I appreciate our author giving it to me straight.
Another childcare commandment?
No costumes outside the house. Of course every little girl loves to play dress-up. But I truly dislike seeing Snow White or a fairy princess trailing along behind her mother at the Piggly Wiggly.
As she sits in her living room, most likely waiting for a man to come to her aid for some reason or another, Phaedra is struck by a sharp, blazing pain. As the flash of blinding torment subsides, she catches her breath and shakes her head wearily -- another costumed child has gone into a grocery store. Forgive their guardians, for they know not the harm their actions have caused to our author's delicate and genteel sensibilities.
But it does us no good to dwell on the darker side of life! Rather, we'll move right along into the book's final section, "Have Fun." However, this does not seem to be exactly the same kind of "fun" colloquially mentioned in mainstream circles. Rather, the Southern Belle defines fun with the principle, "everybody needs to know that you made an effort." For example, "if you're pouring punch into paper cups for a gaggle of seven-year-olds, put a spring of mint in it." My previous experiences in the general vicinity of children lead me to believe that at least 75% of the seven-year-olds in this group would respond to this elegant enhancement by dumping the punch out on the ground because it has a gross plant in it. Maybe that's part of the fun?
No analysis of Southern culture would be complete without a discussion of that most hallowed of pastimes -- college football. And although "only a really unusual woman watches football alone," it is imperative that a Southern Belle attend the social events associated with the on-season. What's more, she should take care to do with impeccable style. As Phaedra laments:
Sometimes I see pictures of women in store-bought football jerseys and I feel sorry. A store-bought jersey does nothing to flatter the feminine body.
As for the game itself, minimal understanding is required -- "Naturally a Belle knows how much men enjoy telling her things, so she isn't shy about asking questions." True to her generous spirit, however, Phaedra nevertheless provides a basic primer in the rudiments of the sport:
Basically each team is trying to get the ball through the tall H-shaped goalposts at the end of the field. […] The problem is that the ball can look awfully little from pretty much anywhere in the stands. There's no shame in watching the video replay to see what really just happened.
As a final tip, Phaedra suggests that "belles whose husbands have season tickets might even invest in matching linens and china." Our next unit of instruction concerns the arrival of a newborn bundle of joy; as we learn, "the birth of a baby is a big deal in a southern family." It's so interesting to learn all of these unique cultural details! I don't know if I've ever heard of another culture that places such importance on birth -- I'd love to get an anthropologist's take! There are also strict guidelines to which one must adhere regarding the naming of a debutante-in-training:
A Southern Belle's name:
-- is obviously feminine.
-- is two syllables or more (names like Ann or Joan seem abrupt, like so many Yankees).
-- is a real name, not a geographic feature like Sierra.
-- means something. Preferably something nice.
Once born and appropriately christened, children should be painstakingly shielded from the contaminating influences of the world at large. Phaedra explains that "pop culture is full of children behaving disrespectfully." Without the slightest suggestion of self-reflection, she goes on to declare that "besides, we think TV characters are basically tacky."
Phaedra reiterates a few of the courtship commandments mentioned previously, most concisely in the adage, "Belles don't date losers." And, as any suitor worth his salt should know, "a date with a Belle is no time for a boy to experiment with 'alternative' clothes or grooming either." Instead, a Southern Gentleman takes care to keep his language clean from distasteful or offensive language -- "For instance, why say 'liquor' when you can say 'adult refreshment'?"
As we near the end of the book, it seems only fitting that we take a few pages to cover the traditions and rituals associated with life coming to a close. Buttressed by her extensive knowledge of mortuary science, Phaedra instructs us:
Postmortem is no time to experiment with cosmetics. No one wants their sweet aunt Gertrude looking like some ashy Jezebel when she meets Jesus.
The passage concludes with the brassy observation, "we don't usually cremate in the South; we figure if we wanted to burn we'd just live recklessly and go to hell."
Before the book closes in earnest, Phaedra shares a few of her special, meticulously developed recipes. The most evocative of her culinary optimizations is a recipe for sweet tea, in which she thoughtfully informs us, "sweetness can be personalized by adding more water or ice to the tea."
The book's final pages contain an instrument designed to measure the effect of the preceding 252 pages on one's essential courtesies, charmingly titled "The Belle-O-Meter Quiz." As Phaedra explains:
So, ladies, how are you doing? I'm sure you've all been very attentive to my suggestions and are amazed by the results. You're probably totally used to a steady diet of compliments and flirtation and invitations. But here's a little quiz in case you feel the need to measure how far you've come.
If you'd like to take the full quiz, you can do so here. But if your busy Belle schedule doesn't permit you to devote that much time to something so self-indulgent, a few example questions are provided below:
Your routine greeting when you meet a new person is:
a. A surly glare.
b. "Hi."
c. "Well, hello! How are you today?"

If your gentleman friend brought you a corsage to wear on a date you would:
a. Put it in the refrigerator. Nobody wears corsages nowadays!
b. Pin it to your coat collar and check your coat.
c. Pin it in an unusual spot like your waist or behind your ear, after extracting one little blossom to put in his lapel.
The answer key informs us that answering mostly C's means that "you are a genuine Southern Belle." As Phaedra goes on to suggest, "maybe it's time to share your new skills with a friend and pass along this book. I hope it's been helpful to you." As a book hoarder of the highest order, I will have to skip that suggestion, but I am nevertheless thankful to move one step closer to self-actualization with the help of another Real Housewife. Until next time!
Upcoming plans in comment below!
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Edgedancer ch 3- 8 readthrough

Ooh hello. This isn't Lift! So who is this mysterious character. Well we have a name! Hauka.
I'm assuming Tallew is some sort of grain. For some reason my dumb ass thought it was the city name till i checked and it was Yeddaw! That's what i get for reading late last night haha. Aiming to read it all today. If i can.
Liaforan. I like that. Idk why. Its satisfying to say😂 I had to look at the Roshar map online and i gotta say i didn't even know it was a thing until this.
Yeah this farmer is corrupt as shit. But he isn't hiding anything so where does he get it from?!
Lovely to see they're as snobby and classist as the rest of Roshar and indeed Earth. Its awesome that its a realistic society but also its kinda sad that still these prejudices exist in the fantasy realms. Although it can sure make for interesting politicking!
Ooh lunch. That's made me hungry now!
Nun Raylisi and Tashi. I don't remember these before. Interesting. And they're enemies. Hmm. Raylisi and Rayse. Sorta sound similar. Tashi and Ishar? That's the only similar sound i can think of. Although we did have a similar dynamic between the brother gods in the purelake religions. But why could Tashi only protect them in Tashikk i wonder.
Ooh is this the result of Taravangian's meddling?! Seems like everyone is gearing up for war.Who is the god king of the Tukari? And looking at the map of Roshar, Tukar is where that city Lift mentioned was and what Kal saw in his vision! Seems like there's more to that location than we know right now. Briefly skimming WoK ch 46 i now see the reference to Sesemalex Dar with the long troughs and war nearby. It seems these wars have been going on a long time or Kal saw a vision of the future and I'm more inclined to the former.
Wow. Nasty guy taking advantage of the war. Humble farmer my ass. Good the money will go to supporting refugees.
Unpredicted highstorms mentioned again. Very clearly things are changing with the weeping, a foreshadow of the everstorm to come!
Hmm. I wonder why no open flame is allowed in the city.
Yeah farmer. Just take the deal!
Haha that's the way for Lift to make an entrance! But easily missed if you dont spot it, it is said she looks eleven or twelve. And we know she might have started growing. So I'm thinking this is a cheeky little reference!
Wow. That smuggler really is a nasty son of a bitch. Hates refugees.
Pancakes!! I can certainly sympathise with Lift's motives here haha.
Ok i just read the entire sequence here cus it was soo funny and engrossing plus theres not loads of reactions from within the whole thing so imma just cover the whole chase sequence. I had scenes from ratatouille in my mind weirdly when reading this! Iove it. Such pure boundless energy and humour for all the family. Love a good bit of slapstick, and when the two guards both reached and tripped it reminded me of thomson and thompson from Tintin!!
And then when Lift released all the grain to the refugees, it was brilliant! Hillarious and doing good in the world!
What this black dust is i have no clue. Reminded me of white sands actually! Ooh but i suppose it could be Wyndle when the crystals fade to dust. Probably is that.
Handy reminder about Lift being partially in the cognitive realm. What the hell happened in her past? Was that why she was able to stay young but then now the cognitive realm is changing cus of Odium and that's why she's changing?
Omds i just imagined Lift using Wyndle as like an Indy style whip and now my brain is just thinking about what if you invested a whip with breath. That would be amazing to have like an Allomancer Jak style character with an invested whip. Someone totally needs to suggest this to Sanderson!!
I find it interesting they praise various gods and Heralds. Like not all just one. I suppose its probably a mixed bunch of Rosharan refugees which makes sense.
Oof. Bavland is totally being had right there haha. Seems like their morals are a bit askew😬
Minutes?!! Wow these people are starving. More than Lift! Although she should be awesome enough for a bit now eh.
Sure sure Lift. Trying to pass it off as self care but we all know you've got a kind heart.
Alm or Desh. Man I am having to refer to the Roshar map a lot! Lift has been about!!
Woah. A roof tile? Lift my dude, what posessed ya!
Oooh so Zawfix is relatively close to Urithiru. That's cool. But boy Sanderson is working hard to get as much worldbuilding in as he can!!
Yeah I'm still curious why the storm water doesn't just totally flood the place! I hope the everstorm doesn't destroy all the shanties for the refugees, although i can't hold out much hope i don't think.
I love this vibrant feel of this quarter. It makes me think of the local poorer quarters in lots of third world countries which often can be filled more with colour and life than a lot of western cities.
Yeah i gotta say I'm with Wyndle on this one lift! Funny sequence but unnecessary energy wastage.
Haha Wyndle back on his gardening rants again. Love it.
Wait is that Ym? Is this confirmation he is an edgedancer?! Well, was 😬. he did have rewgrowth so we knew he was an edgedancer or a truthwatcher. But could it be someone could have the potential to bond with more than one order?
Danger from the west. Well west of there would be Shinovar. Are they talking about Szeth?
Oh Wyndle. You really should be more careful what you say. I suppose he will have to get her to say the words eventually but if he doesn't want to become a shardblade, he doesn't have to be so obvious about it! Although luckily for him, Lift just dismisses it as Voidbringer nonsense!
Ooh that's kinda cool how Wyndle reads.
Lift feeling a little claustrophobic eh. Well.i suppose the rich people of Yeddaw have wanted to quarantine the refugee quarter so to speak.
Interesting the crem change as you go west. What's up with that?!
Well if they want to sneak in/out it could be very useful Wyndle. I'm assuming the Grand Indicium is some kind of policing headquarters or something.
Of course Lift would knock a lady by accident! Run!!!
People always turn anything into a miracle! Which devalues actual miracles!!
Woah so she doesn't remember her mother. Just like Dalinar doesn't remember his wife. Is this because she crossed to the cognitive so lost some of the memory like the spren do coming the other way? But then that would hint at Dalinar having some sort of cognitive connection. Oof my brain is alive with all these theories!!
Aww its so sad to see a 10 year old, well 13 year old, so happy and relatively carefree, feel such things as a loss of personal identity.
Ok i don't have a storming clue what was just said but i assume Wyndle will be getting a translation!
Ah yeah i remember Hauka talking about trading info. I like people who value information.
Aha. So a fire is why they dont allow open flames in the city. Makes sense!
Yeah i can imagine if the patterns of storms become permanently irregular it could cause a lotttta problems for those who rely on stormlight for trade. Good thing they have info to share!
Huh. What are keenspren? Not heard of them before. I assume it isnt spren who show up when someone is keen to do something cus that would be a bit odd.
Ok i definitely feel like that was investiture linked. The ability to speak slang. It sounds similar to Connection from Mistborn E2. Curious indeed.
I love the little quirks Brandon puts in like this. The gems on strings makes it easy to keep track of though i guess. And yeah I'd definitely lose the little gem fragments lol. Lift ALWAYS manages to bring it back to food haha.
Ah yeah i see how it is. The ruffians can use the back entrance, unworthy of the city nobility and wealthy.
A flat wide face? For some reason I'm struggling to imagine that. And Wyndle notices it too so maybe there's some kind of condition I'm not recognising. Idk.
Ooh a mysterious woman. We love mysterious peoples. It means mysteries and plot movement! I'm guessing she's abandoning the kid. Poor kid. With the scar too. Goodness knows what he's been through.
Well done Sanderson, painting the realities of orphanages. Not some happy clappy paradise for kids to share. Often they have mental health issues once they grow up and struggle to fit in. Definitely not what some people think they are.
Oh my. The hair. Oh no that's so sad. :(
Haha Lift always manages hilarious descriptions of people!
Well she wasn't too helpful! But three meals is better than nothing! And she has her reasons.
Ok an old man or beggar in a story. Is this Hoid?! He did kinda just start talking out of nowhere talking about it being difficult to handle everyone's problems!
Yes Lift. You are extremely Awesome! I would love to see her vs twig face haha.
The Stump huh. What a name that is! I think I'd rather be called the rock or something else if I'm gonna be compared to something stoic like that!
Hmm. That's definitely odd. What's up with this sphere trading. Something underhand is going on.
Ok this question is classic Hoid. Its gotta be him. I'll eat Wayne's hat if it isn't!
Haha i like Lift's answer. Too good haha.
Ooh an appointment with whom?... lets find out!!
Yikes. Either one of those scams is very dodgy. I must admit i didn't have a clue about what was going on with the money exchange but laundering makes total sense.
Ha Wyndle, spend a bit of time with humans and you'll realise there are many shits like that taking advantage of people.
What a profound statement. Emotions are indeed a very powerful and dangerous tool as we can see in the world today.
A strange little horse with with horns. A bull? But that wouldn't be little. Lol. Hang on white and horns? If it only had one it would be a unicorn!
Eeek. Lift better survive the everstorm i swear. Don't want her dying Sanderson!!
Aww poor Hauka. Rough day eh. Well maybe Lift can improve it for ya :)
Does nobody notice an adolescant girl climbing up the apartments?!!
Such attention to detail with all the flora and fauna in the worldbuilding. Love it.
What a beautiful sight that would be i imagine. The spheres lighting up the slots.
Lift clearly has some sort of idea of something going on here. But what?
Haha yes Wyndle, i think many of us often find ourselves in the same awe at the scrapes she gets herself into!
I wonder if this is a generic reference to nightmares or if there is actually something in her future that terrifies her when she sees it in her dreams. Guess we'll find out more in book 6 when we see Lift's flashbacks!
Haha Lift. Welcome to bed hair my friend!
Omds. Imagine the look on the farmers faces haha. Would they not have noticed before?!
Oh flip. What's darkness got to do with Hauka?!
Well she finally admits it! We all knew Wyndle was right. No matter how many pancakes she was gonna eat! But that whole thing earlier being a spectacle? Now that's great plotting. I just assumed it was a funny little sequence but it takes on such significance now!
Ooh i do hope we get to meet another prospective radiant. That would be cool.
I, Lift, would argue its both. You feel a loss of identity and things changing, so you look to another like you to explain what's going on, aaannd you have a sense of justice too.
Prince of Tashikk. I wonder who that is. And what are the bets Nale has used orders from his time period to get away with his work!
So, Hauka has been trading with twig lady maybe. Interesting.
Well that's gonna put a spanner in the works for Lift, now everyone is gonna be looking for her!
Are you crazy kid?! Tailing Nale? Madness i swear!!!
Yep the walls are definitely gonna feel smaller if loads of people are hunting you😬
Ha probably tourists lol. Lucky Lift is preoccupied!
I don't know why either! There's probably some clever scientist out there who reads the books and has figured out why it disappears after half a day of inactivity.
Well tbh if i saw a man with a scar like that walking with purpose, I'd probably step out of the way too!
Hmm. Does Nale has some invisibility ability? If Lift loses track of him but never loses track of normal people. Guess we might find out later!
Phew. You nearly messed it up Lift! Be more careful next time. Could be you the shopkeeper shouts at!!
Uh oh. Hes a skybreaker. He won't take this lightly at all.👀
Holy shit. Did he really have to use a fucking shardblade?!
And he just fills the paperwork and goes to leave with no further thought! How was this man ever a Herald? He doesn't seem honourable.
Hmm this seems to imply Nale knows Tashi and Tashi is real. So maybe it is one of the heralds then and he could be out in the world again considering what Nale says here. But he says it like its a bad thing. Two mad heralds, a barbaric one, and maybe another one too now. But when will he arrive I wonder.
Wow. He just refers to the legalese. No heart. Seriously, what happened to these guys? And he's even confused why nobody understands. Its just beyond belief.
Ooh was that a cognitive shadow? That's cool.
Yeah Lift, it's severed the soul so too late for you kiddo :(
Wow ok. Lift really likes danger huh.
Ooh thats interesting. I imagine this is where a lot of their shared water comes from.
Yes Lift! I will remember those who others forget!!
Eyes you cannot see. Local spies or maybe even Szeth himself? Eek!
Yes i knew it! There is something supernatural about his ability to disappear. Makes it even riskier!
Oof ok Tashi has gotta be a herald then. 10 heralds.
Lool Wyndle trying to warn Lift and she just doesn't care haha. I wonder how many words there are to say.
Well she isn't wrong there Wyndle. She'd never get over her own death!!!
Oh so now she worries about people seeing her hanging! Although it was night before so it makes more sense now. I didn't consider that at the time.
Well thats an awesome use of her regrowth. And Lift is right. Often people are too busy in the mundane they can miss something awesome right in front of them!
Flipping heck Wyndle. You'd have thought he was high or something lol. Whst a reaction! But he is a gardener i suppose!!
Is it just me or is always old male guards who are there whenever a character sneaks in somewhere in like every book or movie ever haha. But Nale does seem to be recruiting for his order. They could be a LOT of trouble in Oathbringer.
Of course Lift found the food first😂 but at least she can gain back some stormlight now since no doubt she'll need to use it.
Yeah Wyndle. Its very obvious you need to stop Nale! Its the edgedancer thing to do.
You know what i thought about just now. The reversed positions of the radiants and the heralds. In the stories the radiants grew corrupt or whatever and they're bad but the heralds are perfect. So far, the radiants we've met are by no means perfect, but the Heralds are also not who we were led to believe they were.
Well i got work tomorrow and its nearly 10 here so I'm calling it quits about halfway now. Back on it in the morning!
Don't forget tomorrow, 7/7/20 is Leatherbound Kickstarter Day guys!!! Just don't take all the copies before i can order one😝
And just as a heads up, i predict I'll finish Edgedanxer tomorrow, then probably Weds i will make a post of my own oathbringer predictions and listen to the shardcast predictions episode. Thursday the 9th my journey through Oathbringer should begin, and I'm gonna aim to finish by my 21st, the 16th October, so 14 weeks. I did WoR in about 12 so i think its achievable. Then i will look into the RoW release extracts and if the novella is out, i have a month to make my way through that too!
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Message from ya boi

[Edit: this message was from like 3/1 or 2/29 idr and got removed on accident and no I’m not summarizing it for y’all lol- Reida]
Hello, my beloved WSB. There are actually WSBers in prison! In most jails you have Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings, etc. Now you can gain jail gang credibility by "claiming" an affiliation with Wall Street Bets (kidding, of course). Anyway, how about those trillion dollar companies?
Politics, you ask? I am trying to quit (but crosspost this to thedonald anyway). Also, I'm woke now. I've tried to give a group of people here a seriously woke #metoo makeover. It didn't work. In all seriousness: there is a lot of homophobia, racism and mysogyny in jail. It is lamentable, but surprising and amusing when you are the most conservative guy "on the street" (jail slang for "when you're not in prison") and the most liberal guy in jail. It is a pretty weird feeling lecturing everyone on not using certain words! Or accepting the humanity of LGBT people. But, I'll be out of here fairly soon and this will be the last time I'll have to defend respecting women to ingrate inmates. It really is that "upside down" here: I'm the SJW white knight.
Anyway, Trump has done well in the last 6-12 months, needless to say. Incumbents are rarely unseated, and the conditions required for a one-term presidency don't exist, other than in the mind of Trump's more strident and acidic critics. Trump passed tax cuts, FSA, judicial appointments and various other legislative victories that actually make him one of the most productive presidents ever. He has done much better at harnessing his preternatural publicity powers for good and avoiding ugly moments like Charlottesville-type gaffes. The other team hasn't played as well with the incessant fire alarm-pulling of the media and Congress tiring the nation out and lending credence to Trump's complaints of bias.
Bloomberg is the most appropriate Democratic candidate for President. He's accomplished far more than any Democrat politician (compare him to Sanders, for instance), dealt well with all types of complexity, not just in financial software, but also in media, and of course the little political fiefdom known as New York City. He ran the city relatively well, but some technocratic autism leaks out, here and there (soda ban). Forgive the neuroatypical one. He's fairly clumsy with his words (watch his Spanish translations for a good laugh)--but he's a much smarter manager who doesn't let ego or reckless conviction get in the way of good decisions. I don't think his "world views" are actually authentic--he ostensibly pledges allegiance to the woke police, but deep down, he is a dirty capitalist billionaire who ideally will not burn the bridge down for the rest of us since he's crossed it himself.
What can be said about Bernie that hasn't been said by the Wall Street Journal already? He really is a dangerous ideologue. A simple way to defuse Sanders is to ask him a direct question: is there a business or a businessperson you admire? Anywhere in the world? In essence, every American is a businessperson, other than politicians/government. Those roles are very important, but without business and wealth generation, goverment cannot 'service' the citizenry. There has to be some core productivity, consumption and trade or there is no keystone to build an economy on. State-owned enterprises have succeeded but they still only really work when they have capitalist incentives (China is the best example of SEOs doing quite well). Sadly, Sanders is the type who has been screaming bloody murder for the last 50 years of his life while our country has rose to ever greater heights of prosperity. There does not exist a condition where he wouldn't complain, at the same volume. This irrational perspective works in politics, but real people won't buy it. Polls and even primaries miss the key variable you need to model in a general election: turnout. I think statistics prove income inequality is a left-wing myth. Sanders' theories are akin to MMT: there is no magical money tree. With $4T annual spending and $3T in annual taxes, it is hard to envision a scenario where he can really fund a major expansion of entitlements. He recently has bragged about his health policy being projected to save $300 billion. We know how well projects work in politics, but CNN interviewers failed to make the retort: is that a big deal? No, actually. That sounds great, but it's a modest 10% difference from current healthcare spending, if it achieves fruition, in a time where political economic forecasts almost never do.
Bernie is actually from my exact neighborhood in Brooklyn. We even attended the same elementary school, PS 197. (Quick aside, I wrote my first line of code--in BASIC--there in 1st grade on an Apple 2E.) Sanders will continue to tap into the high-school/college/post-college angst of youth and those who never grew up. It's surprising this minority is so vocal in America--that is really the bigger issue. Stupidity is a bit cyclical and it has been a while since a major economy tried real socialism; its advocates, whether fools or actually nefarious, have an opening to promote the ideology. The problem with this class is they're victims of the fraud of "higher education" or, much worse, are some combination of lazy and/or jaded/disaffected. Bernie is just the echo product of folks who are upset a $500,000 education is a scam. The fleecing of the middle class by this idea, one of the greatest lies ever told, that one has to go to a competitive college, followed by a competitive grad school, is a more real and tragic driver of income inequality. If Mark Zuckerberg can become the 5th richest man (at his age!) and I attended City College for $2,000 a semester, while you pay $100,000/year for NYU or Penn State (no offense to alums), you may also still be rooting for $DRYS to come back. I can't blame these folks. It's not entirely appealing to finish school and become an entry-level worker at GE or AMZN, hoping to reach middle management in five years. Nor is running into the open arms of GS, JPM or BAC after an MBA fulfilling. It would never have worked for me. Entrepreneurs understand they're playing economic and personal Russian roulette, in a sense. That's also not for everyone. Why can't we have utopia? Despite sympathizing with this plight, Sanders doesn't have the answer, even if he speaks to the worries of a generation increasingly lied to. "Learn to code."
On other candidates: Warren gets her just desserts after decades of lying. Now that her campaign is broke, she's okay with SuperPAC money. Flexibility on once high-conviction values is not what you want from a politician. It's odd that folks believed they could trap the Bernie lightning in a bottle for themselves and crowd-fund a $1-$2 billion campaign, $20 at a time. You really would need every single voter to give you money! Well, Mayor Pete had the right idea, but he's kind of a self-parody in that his inexperience and staying power says more about the other candidates than it does about him. Do we know anything about him or his policies other than the obvious, that he's not crazy or 100 years old or a billionaire? Biden "peaked early", the cardinal sin of politics. He won't be around post-super Tuesday is my guess. I have no bars for Farallon's former CIO. RIP Gabbard, Booker, Yang and my favorite, Kamala. Man, Kamala made Warren look honest. She really dated a guy 30 years older than her for a promotion when she was a prosecutor. This is not a women to get in the way of. Or to vote for, apparently.
Politics are interesting, but ultimately fruitless and unproductive to worry about. We all care about our country and its direction. At the end of the day, however, your time is probably better spent consuming other content. Learn some skills, ignore the propaganda and pull of corporate for-profit news. Someone, somewhere in the world, will want your skills. No one wants to hear anyone drone on about politics ;)
[Posted by Reida]
((apparently he sent me this yesterday and I didn’t see it until now—whoops! s/o to whoever dmd and asked about politics. This was interesting for me to read as well.))
submitted by martinshkreli to wallstreetbets [link] [comments]

Haxor Wars 3: Dog Hitman

So, yesterday, I was doing my normal thing, watching YouTube, playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and checking Reddit every now and then. When I checked Reddit once, I got a message from someone named CHRISTLOVER14888, huh. I have joined the Christianity subreddit, so I was thinking it was from there. However, when I checked it, this was the message I got:
This was weird, I never did anything to get this message. I knew this was Yaeger disguised as this guy, and I have proof of this because this account is new (as of now, it is one day old). Anyway, this message also seemed to be automated, as if it was mass mailed like what scammers do. I think this because my username is surrounded by [], and if this guy really was upset, he would have capatalized my name. Anyway, sorry to bore you, Let's go scambait- wait, wrong guy. Let's go trolling again!
Note: This is not exactly the same conversation. Some edits have been made (Mostly because of my terrible spelling on my Mobile Device and this guy's terrible grammar) to please readers.
Me: Nah, I don't think so :)
Yaeger: You will suck it. tf2 hacker police dog.
Me: I'm not part of the hacker police. And a dog? Is that all you got, idiot?
Yaeger: you post to it so you're a dog. suck me off
Me: You post to it too. Does that make you a dog too?
Dog: yes but i don't buy into their propaganda. dog
Me: I love dogs!Let me guess, you're Yaeger?
Dog: Yaeger is my head in charge
I was actually confused for a second. I then realized she mean't "boss"
Me: Huh? You make no sense
Dog: she runs hitman business. I work for her
Me: So do I!
I meant I ran a hitman buisness too (I don't, and neither does Yaeger. She runs a troll business, and a very bad one at that. Probably has like 4 members)
Me: I know your IP and were you are located.
Also, I am posting this, dog, So say whatever, because The whole world is going to seen how terrible of a person you are
Yaeger: tell me my ip then
I don't have her IP. This next part is a joke, I made up to she if she'd fall for it
Me: I can't tell you
Yaeger: ah so you dont have my ip
Me: I do!
Yaeger: then tell me it
Me: But if I tell you, you'll change it. I am going to ddos you, Like you did to countless innocent server
Yaeger: I never ddosed but keep talking schizo
I looked it up, it's short for Schizoaffective disorder, which is a disorder which you have... depression, or bipolar disorder. I might actually have it, but they say it takes one to know one, huh?
Really? Whatever. Anyway, how old are you, dog?
Dog: REDACTED FOR PRIVACYShe's over 30, just like Yaeger! Hmm....
Me: Wow. You're so much immature
Yaeger: you have problem?
Me: Yeah. You. Don't contact me again unless you act your age lol. I'll block you if you don't follow my directions
I was thinking she was going to stop talking... but, and both unfortunately and fortunately for me, she kept talking
Yaeger: okay dog
Me: Cool, dog. Yeah, not only am I reporting you to Reddit admins, I'm also posting the entire conversation
Unfortunately, you can't do that. Please add this Reddit, to report an entire conversation. Would help in certain situations which there are either multiple comments, or you need the context of something. And while you add it, can you make it so you can copy the entire conversation too (With Mobile Support!). however, she didn't question it, so she is new to Reddit Chat, apparently.
Me: You're all together a terrible person. And for what? To destroy a game?
OK, this next part cracked me up when I first saw it. Prepare to die laughing, here it comes:
Yaeger: u seem to be resorting to doing illegal activitiesYeah, like DDOS-ing isn't illegal.
Me: Illegal? Tell me, what I am doing that's illegal?
Yaeger: ddosing is illegal bud
Me: Yeah, you did it too
Yaeger: I've never done it, try harder schizo
I also want to point out, this guy claim's she ain't Yaeger. That's an obvious lie.
Me: Lol. How many bots you have?
Yaeger: I have none retard
Hold on a second... let me copy/paste something...
Don't own bots, eh? Not only are a terrible troll, but a liar too? Sad
Me: Then why you contact me? You friends with a idiot?
Yaeger: my "friend" has a higher iq than you, freak
Higher IQ? Let's take a look at the all insults you've said to me (In no particular order),
i skullfuck ur mother!!!! ur deranged i want your mother You can't read U suck this cock now your game is going to die HAHAHAHA Alors on danse (Translated to "Then we Dance" from French) Tous Les Mêmes (Translated to "All the same" from French) do u have a sister if so can i fuck her? I'M BI CURIOUS LOOKING FOR SEXUAL PARTNERS I'M SENDING THIS TO ALL MY FRIENDS ON XBOX LIVE HIT ME UP IF YOU READ THIS GOOD NOW SUCK MY COCK 
And Bluey_TV's Insults:
yo mama suck this cock CLEAN cry baby boy ok well you're retarded didnt ask bad cus ur still alive yo mama annoys me with phone calls 
I'm pretty sure I have a higher IQ than all of you combined, if you ain't the same person. Remember, Yaeger has 70 Alternative accounts
Me: Huh. I've never met you, you insult me, and you're "friend" told you to do so, and you think I am more stupid than you and you're friend? No wonder why you have 1 karma.
Yaeger: you threaten to do illegal things to me man
*And DDOS isn't illegal? You just said so a minute ago. Also, claiming you're a hitman isn't exactly legal either.*Me: You don't get jokes, do you?Remember, this whole DDOS thing, Yaeger, is a joke, and she hasn't gotten it yet, even when given a hint
Um, 1) A step ahead of you 2) Who started this conversation with something that could be considered harassment?
Me: What is this? Isn't this harassment though?
Yaeger: no because ur a criminal. bye bye bud
I want to say something smart, but I couldn't think of anything at the time. Well, now or never. DDOS is a criminal felony. There. I said it. You probably weren't the cause of all the lagbots, but I doubt you weren't involved in some way. I promise you, if someone get's you're address details, or even you're IP, you're going to... um, suck?
Me: Lol. I'm your Buddy? Wanna be friends?
This worked last time with Yaeger
Yaeger: no u arent. retard. fuck you
Didn't work... Maybe she ISN'T Yaeger... I'll still refer to her as Yaeger, however. I don't want to put her full username, and calling her "Christ" because that would make God be upset with me, and I don't want that to happen. I love God.
Me: Huh. It really is harassment. You're such a terrible person
Yaeger: you threatened to ddos me which is far worse than harassment man
Me: Like I said, you can't identify a joke. You call me an idiot, but you yourself are one. And, (REDACTED FOR PRIVACY) And you talk like this?
Yaeger: you're harassing. fuck youMe: You too :) I didn't even start this. You did Yaeger: except you threatened to commit a crime. enjoy the reddit ban!
Enjoy your Reddit ban Yaeger! It's been about 24 hours, and have not received anything like this from u/Reddit, so either 1) He didn't report me 2) Reddit doesn't care about this 3) Reddit cared about it, read the ENTIRE conversation so far, and was like "What? No..."
Me: You said you were a Hitman. That's worse than ddos...
Yaeger: no its not
For those who don't know, a DDoS (Or a Distributed Denial of Service Attack) basically doesn't allow users to access the parts of the internet that are affected (Servers, Websites, etc.) until they are able to bring them back online. The methods of doing this is overwhelming the server to the point it shuts down (Hence bringing it back online). Which means if I had the skills to DDoS you, Yaeger, you could easily bring them back online if you had the technical knowledge. On the other hand, killing somebody, you can't reverse it, at least not easily. Think you have to talk to Lucifer, and I heard that's a bad road. It's also illegal, very illegal.
Me: You threatened to kill me, you idiot! I'm blocking you
That's the worst insult I've ever seen. You've even made better insults than that, I'll give it too you. Also, It's been a day, I'm not dead. Still Alive, as that one robot who's name I can't remember would say... Anyway, I did block the idiot for a while, until I realized, I need to keep this going! I'm going to get so many upvotes on Reddit!
Me: Nah, actually, this is fun. You stopped talking, huh? I'm not harassing you, you are harassing me! You cursed at me! And you threatened to attempt to Hitman me!What do you say about that?
No response
Me: Still there, m8te?
She replied, but in shouty caps:
Me: Ha.Terrible at insults tooYaeger: SHUT UPI KILL UR FAMILY. Eazy 5,000,000 IRANIAN CURRENCY!Me: Now THIS is Reddit material
Me: Remember when you said that I was doing something illegal? Now this is.
Yaeger: U DIG?
Me: I don't dig. You do, dog
Me: No you don't
Yaeger: YES I DO
Me: You just want to make me upset don't you?
Me: Well, it ain't working.
I don't even know what I meant by that. Anyway, she didn't reply for about a minute
Me: Still there? You know you threaten to kill me, because I'm protesting your bots
Me: You live ib yo mon's basement. Where you hang out with all the other dogs. Sad, you should act you age
Yaeger: ib?mon's?
She's losing, so she is using the best thing she could use: My Spelling
Yaeger: whats ib?Me:You. Live. In. Your. Mom's. Basment. You. Coward
I can she "Yeager is typing..." Below. She isn't letting me finish my thought, so I have to rush before she can get the upper hand
Yaeger:basment? whats a basment?i know what a basement is, thats where i put my guns. but whats a basment? bass fish room?
(Laughs) Yeah, Yeah, that's actually pretty funny one. I have to admit, when she tries, Yaeger is actually pretty funny.
Me: No, that's were you live and sleep.
Yaeger: were? you spell a lot of things wrong, which makes u inferior to me
*Look who's talking. Go back up to the terrible insults, and come back and read this sentence again.*Me: you are inferior to every one else. You're even more inferior to Yaeger, if you aren't her. You're sad
Yaeger: Okay "basment"
Somebody once told me...
Sorry, no Rickroll this time. Anyway, somebody once told me that when THEY talked to Yaeger (Yes, I'm not the only one talking to this idiot) they said something about Yaeger's Grandmother, and she stopped talking to them. I think maybe Yaegers Grandma died (If that's true, feel sorry for you Yaeger, but that does not forgive you're behavior), so I'll use that now!
Me: Let me guess, you're grandma died?
Yaeger: nice projecting, retard
Something about that makes me feel like it worked, but she knew where I got it.
Me: Lol. Ok, tell me this: What do you get out of insulting people, being rude to them, and also threatening to kill them? Nothing is the answer
It SHOULD be the answer, anyway
Yaeger: Sorry just came inside your mother, what now?
*Um, what kind of insult is that? Maybe to your intelligence, maybe. I used this as an opportunity to make a joke.*Now? Let's practice medicine...
Yaeger: hmmm
?Didn't tickle her funny bone, huh. This along with the fake DDoS, is
Me: You know, you really want me to answer you're questions, right?
Yaeger: *your. you used wrong yourMe: No, I spell correctlyYaeger: you clearly don't Mr. Basment. ib. mon.
*I've said this countless times, I'm on MOBILE when I chat with these idiots. I'm terrible at typing on that small, digital keyboard.*Me: I'm using mobile. You're so poor, you are using it too :)
Yaeger: I'm on a 10k computer setup, but sure bud
10k is $10,000. I looked it up, and it's possible. But it's highly unlikely...
Me: I doubt that. If you had a 10k setup, You'd be hacking the US government, and not wasting your time with me
Yaeger: ow old are you again, also using the wrong you're again
Me, tired of this idiot using my mobile typing skills as an excuse to insult me, when they themselves use ur, u, etc. as a crutch. Also, they use cheats as a crutch.
Me: Look, idiot. I'm not that stupid
I'm not that stupid to tell them my age. It's Personal Information, something I've been told not to tell random strangers on the internet
Yaeger: you are very dumbMe: Look in the mirror
Yaeger: When i look into the mirror i see giga chad irl, thanks.
At this point, I'm questioning why this guy contacted me. Probably it's just Yaeger hates me, and doesn't want to talk to me anymore, and used her friend to shut me up. Such a coward if that's true...
Me: Why did you contact me? Seriously, why?Your just wasting your time
Yaeger: u spell so bad, god
Used a no-u. Also, I know what "u" is.
Me: What is "u"? You spell bad toointernet slang for the word "you"okay Mr. Basment. U have autism or something. zzzzzz
Me: I don't, but you do, with the way your acting. Yaawwnnn...
Yaeger: u def have autism zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: Your so bad, your are making me sleepy. Seriously. I'd rather kill your bots than talk to you
Which would be boring, and difficult if the enemy team is not-friendly
Yaeger: "Your" so bad, nice spelling retard. cry more
Me: No u. Be more mature, Yaeger
Yaeger: not yaeger. Cry more retard
let's see if I get a reaction out of mis-speling her name...
Me: You are Yager though. If You really aren't him, tell him this for me: Stop it. Get some help
Yaeger: dont know who "yager" is. I know a man named "yaeger"
Me: You really don't understand, do you?You're not making me mad. Nor upset
Yager: xaxaxaxaxaxa. so mad
Again, not letting me finish my thoughts.
Me: So... Stop tryingYaeger: not trying at allAt least they admit itMe: So stop it
Yaeger: and still making u mad
Me: You're not. All I am is disappointed at YOUR MOTHER
Yaeger: ur tf2 references clearly proves u have autism. yikes
Yes, YOUR MOTHER is a TF2 Fad, but, I'm serious.
Me: No, it's not a TF2 reference. Think about it for a second
Yaeger: too bad i'm thinking about ur moms pussy
If my mother would talk to you, she'd would call the police.
Me: Lol. Are you cool? If you are, stop.Get. Some. Help
Yaeger: I am cool
Me: And honestly, stop wasting your time with me. I bet you have more people to make upset than me
Yaeger: get better spelling PLEASE
Me: Get better behavior. Then I will. And you btter prpve ot to.
Yaeger: what?sorry ur spelling is shit i cant understand youMe: You behavior is so terrible I can't stand talking to you. Also, Yaeger, love you created a new account just to talk to me :) It just shows you're 37
Yaeger: yikes u blow
Insert Superman: Man of Steel by Rerez joke here
That Video:
Me: In All honesty, the more you talk to me, the more people are going to laugh at you for your behavior and terrible insults when I post this later. Jeez, does Yaeger (You) really hate me that much?
Yaeger: Okay retard, stay mad
Me: No u. You're not even a Christian, Are you?
Yaeger: stay mad! Yeah I'm not a christian I'm a catholic.They believe in the same thing, just have different practices to worship God, I think...
Me: I'm not mad. But you are. You won't admit It because you think it'll make you Look like a coward. You obviously aren't a Hitman. You're a troll, and a very bad one at that.
Here comes the madness :)
Me: I'll do when you do :)
Yawn, the insults are the same so often they get boring... oh wait. Does spamming no u count then?
Me: Wow. Like I said, I'll shut up when you do! Oh, the tf2hackerpolice is going to love this...
I really hope you do!
Yaeger: oh, my gun is gonna love my bullet in ur (sic) brain
I doubt you even own a license to have a armed weapon, let alone an actual gun
Me: You're not a hitman. You wanna make me scared? Make siren noises
The reason I said this, is because I've been watching Sirenhead videos on YouTube, and it legit scares me. Sometimes. Gotta go WEE WOO. WEE WOO. WEEEEE WOOOOO to make me shiver.
HRISTLOVER14888 has left the group chat
Wait, what? Yeah, I made this guy so upset (Or frustrated that he couldn't get to me), he apparently left the chat. Usually, it says 2 members. But now it says 2 Members. However, the account might have been deleted. I think this because I received a message from u/Reddit saying they were sorry for the things that are going on and have taken apporiate action. I believe because the account is so new they knew it was made specifically to harass me, so they just deleted it. That's a win in my book!

Anyway, remember to report, kick, and dance. Have good day everyone!
submitted by hunterrocks77 to TF2hackerpolice [link] [comments]

Could you help me with these English expressions?

Hi everyone, I'd like you to help me with these words we use in Spain, which I'm not sure how to use in English accurately. I mean, I can have a normal conversation with English speakers but I'd like to broaden my vocabulary/resources in order to sound more native. I'd like you to come up with some English equivalents, whether they are formal or slang. As you can see, I've already guessed what English speakers use for each expression, but I'm sure there are many more expressions which I don't know.
SEÑAL: This is the money you pay to someone so that they “make sure” you won't back out of a deal- e.g. You wanna buy a second hand car...the car ownedealership will tell you to pay 5%,10% or a specific amount upfront -In English, I'd say upfront payment and everyone would understand me, but IDK if that's the word native speakers use.
FIANZA: This is a specific amount of money you pay to the landlord when you rent a house/appartment. At the end of the contract, you'll be paid back that money unless you've broken something or violated some rules -In English, I'd use “deposit” but IDK if that's spot on.
-”Fianza” is also the amount of money someone has to pay to avoid goint to prison until they go to trial (or to be released from prison) -I guess the English equivalent is BAIL/BOND.
ENTRADA: This is like a first payment you make when you buy a house. Let's say you have to pay $200.000 for an appartment. The bank doesn't lend you the whole amount. You pay, for example, $25.000 in one go and then you'll pay off $175.000+interest to the bank -Here I'd use upfront payment too; or maybe first payment?
DEPÓSITO: This word has different meanings but they are all the same. I think the Enslish word for all of them is “deposit” too.
-A specific amount of money you deposit in your bank account for no specific reason. Let's say someone pays you in cash and you don't wanna have it in your wallet or at home so you go to the bank and deposit it.
-It can also be an amount of money you put into an internet account, which you can withdraw whenever you want i.e. Paypal, bet website...
-It can be money you put aside in another account different from the main one, in order to keep your savings until you retire. Other names for this are:
“plan de pensiones”: monthly payments you make in order to receive a lump sum when you retire, “depósito a plazo fijo”: money you can't use for a specific amount of time (1,2,3... years) which at the end of the contract the bank pays you with interest.
RECARGO: This is like a payment you make as a punishment for an unpaid debt. It's not like interest since the debt you owe is not for a favouservice but for tax payments or similar. e.g. You didn't pay taxes when you should have paid them, so now you have to pay the debt plus an extra amount -I guess you use interest here.
PAGAR AL CONTADO: It means you pay in one go, either by card or cash, in the same moment you buy something.
PAGAR A CRÉDITO: It means you son't pay in that precise moment. You'll pay in a month, in 2 months....
PAGO APLAZADO/PAGO FRACCIONADO: You pay monthly until the debt is paid off. You might or might not be charged interest here. For cars, we use FINANCIAR (finance).
PAGO EN EFECTIVO: Means to pay in cash, as simple as that. I wonder if there are other ways of saying this in English.
It is very common in Spain/Italy (IDK in the US) to work without a contract. A lot of waiters (local pubs, small bars in small villages) are just paid in cash so that their bosses don't have to pay any taxes/insurance. This is common too amongst builders/plumbers/painters (self-employed) and similar jobs. They are often on benefits/sick leave but still continue working in small villages repairing stuff/doing small jobs for people they know. Quite common in agriculture too. Very common with women who clean houses/take care of elderly people.
Even in white-collar jobs we see these tricks. For example, you work 9 to 17 and have a decent salary, but you'll be paid the minimum wage in terms of salary and the rest is paid in cash (under the counter?)- or you work 8 hours but the contract says you work 4, this way your boss only pays you 4 legally and the rest in cash free of taxes
We refer to this as “Trabajar en negro” (I think I've heard the expression “in the black” in English).
Pagacobrar en negro: pay/be paid in black? Pay/be paid with black money?
Then we use the expression “blanquear dinero” (whiten moeny) to say launder money. It just means that someone runs a business in order to cover an ilegal activity whereby they make a lot of money. (black money)
If someone has a bad reputation for charging too much money for their services, or not doing well their job (repairing/fixing things : builders-plumbers.mechanics and the like) we say they are “a pirate” (pirata). I think the best equivalent for this is “A cowboy”, no?
submitted by Mafia94 to Advice [link] [comments]

Ever Try To Pick Up A Girl Next To You On A Plane?

When I was in college and single I decided to take a trip to Europe and chose London as my initial destination. I planned it for months and saved enough to stay there for 1 1/2 months. Anyway, the flight was ****ing delayed twice but managed to finally start moving.
I was dreading the long ass flight especially since there were no Ipods back in 95' and you'd have to use a lame ass walkman or some huge digital predecessor to the modern day Ipod. Either way you'd have to bring a **** load of batteries. But it was my luck that there was a blond-haired green-eyed beauty that was about my age sitting next to me. I had the window seat and she had the aisle and there was nobody sitting in between us.
So we're about an hour into our flight and the only words that were exchanged between us were when I asked her to flag the attendant down so I could buy a stiff drink. So I drink a rum and coke but it wasn't enough so I ask the attendant for another but to make it stiffer this time. The attendant laughed and asked if I was scared of flying or something. I said.."Nah..I'm celebrating getting the **** outta Dodge for a while...". I managed to get a flirty laugh and she said coming right up.
The girl next to me was obviously listening but almost acting like she was some innocent bystander caught in a cross fire or something. Just barely eeking out a smile but not really saying nothing. Anyway the attendant finally came back and asked the girl to hand the drink to me cause I was looking out the window. So she taps me and hands me the drink. The flight attend says..."alright tell me how you like it..."
So I drink it while looking at them and then I said "a few more of these and I'll show you in the bathroom 📷"...Like the cocky young college kid I was not really thinking of the repercussions if this fully grown milf were to diss me in front of everyone. She recognized that I was just screwing around and just laughed and said "you young guys..." and that's it.
Then feeling even more bold cause I didn't get wrecked by the flight attendant I decided to say something to the girl.
"Are you gonna be this quiet and boring the ENTIRE flight to London. You'd think you were Hellen Keller or something" I know it seems kind of rude but the atmosphere I created joking with the attendand just made it seem like I was just a jokster. She started busting up laughing and finally got her to talk. Turns out she had an accent. She was FROM London and was not as excited going back home cause her trip was opposed to mine which was obviously just beginning. She joked about it in a playful yet sophisticated sounding way and I felt a bit foolish realizing that this girl wasn't dumb, shy, and quiet at all. In fact she was very educated sounding, apparently "more cultured" seeing as she traveled quite a bit, and had money which led me to believe that she was too young to earn it on her own. Which means that her family is well off and she was probably raised in one of those snooty rich European families.
Turns out I was right about that, but, we now had tons to talk about. We talked non stop about all the stuff she did in US, other places she'd traveled, how bored she was gonna be back at home, where I was planning to go, etc...etc... We pretty much talked about everything under the sun and like any 2 people who let their guard down we were bound to find things in common which we music, art (at least I pretended to just to impress her..I really only knew a few things from art history class in college).
Anyway it started to feel like we've known eachother for years after a while the way we were so casual. All the while I showed genuine interest in what she had to say (best way to bag a woman) without showing too much interest like a perv like I'm sure most other dudes did with her cause she was ****ing SMOKING HOT. Not the slutty bar tramp with the flower tattoos above her ass and another one on her ankle. She was like this girl next door type who had a banging body and a really pretty face.
The whole plane ride I was trying to scheme up a way to keep this going after the flight but I was getting more and more nervous as we got closer to Heathrow. So I decided to play it cool...a tactic I'd used many many times with overzealous chicks and ones playing hard to get to. The trick is you have to make it truly believable. So, when we finally landed and we're getting off the plane we both started walking to get our luggage. I gave no hint that I was gonna ask her for her number or she says on the way to luggage..."Hey you want me to show you around? I can keep my vacation going that way." Now she seemed kinda nervous which felt empowering after all my nerves. So I said sure and she gave me her number. She said that she'd have to meet with her parents and sister that night for dinner but the next day she'd take me wherever I wanted to go and places I never would have thought of going...All I could think of was."CHA CHING!!!". It was all I could do not to jump up and down and start jacking right there in front of her...but I'm sure that would ruin the mood a bit.
So I controlled my excitement and kept smiling and showing enthusiasm about the following day so she would'nt feel regret that night. We parted ways and I called a cab to take me to my hotel. I ate dinner by myself at a nearby popular restaurant and saw lots of chicks and dudes with chicks but no such luck that night like I had on the plane. Oh consolation was the following day. I slept like a baby that night and woke up late to no alarms...So I woke the next morning around 9:30am. The room I had was nice. I wanted to start my trip off with a relatively nicer hotel room so I would feel like a pimp to start of my trip. It wasn't THAT nice but to me it was. It had a nice balcony that was pretty big and had a table, umbrella, and chairs on it. I thought, "Cool! I'll order room service and call the girl up. That way if she'd changed her mind overnight I would be in the middle of something cool and maybe not feel as bad. Also if the girl asks what I was doing she might think it was cool as well". That was my logic anyway.
So, I ordered room service and took a shower. After my shower I cracked the door, and got dressed, and chilled out on the balcony until my food came. I noticed a farmers market forming down below and on the whole street. Sweet! yet another cool way to start the day by walking around a foreign farmer's market to see all the **** they got. After eating a bit I decided to call the girl finally. I call and the phone rings a few times. I was thinking I got dissed until a girl picked up the phone and it was her. "Bella speaking" She sounded so ****ing cute I wanted to **** her through the phone but I wasn't quite sure it was her just yet. She sounded a bit different over the phone and she told me her name was Isabel on the plane. She immediately recognized me and asked what I was up to. So I told her I was eating breakfast on my balcony. She thought it was "sweet" that I would do that even though I was a guy. I thought, "what's the big deal? It's not like eating on breakfast on a balcony is what gay guys do or something."
Anyway we make small talk about her night with her family last night and she says that she told them about me. They were worried about her showing around a stranger who she knows absolutely nothing about. I joked with her that I'm no stranger. "We're practically high school sweethearts. I know everything about you." She added.."Yeah we're practically married, right?" and we both started laughing. Then I said that I understood how her family felt and then I said..."I'd be super disappointed if we didn't get to hang out cause I thought we'd hit it off and think it would be fun." Paused for effect...then I said" Well I'm gonna go take a walk down at the farmer's market down below and shop around and call you after. That way you can let me know if you changed your mind."
She sounded a bit surprised at the hint of indifference in my tone. Little did she know that I was starting to feel totally ****ing bummed especially getting my hopes all high the night before. But if I was gonna get this girl to go out with me I had to play it like Joe Cool without seeming like an insecure dick. Also, you can't go beggin and sounding desperate to convince her cause that would just trigger her instincts that I might be some perv and she would instantly say no. So I politely said I'd call her later and hung up the phone. I was ****ing bummed to say the least. I felt that things were starting to get a little awkward and didn't think that it would happen afterall. So I try to cheer myself up by checking out all the little cuties and flirting as much as I could with any cute chick that I came in contact with. I didn't feel any rejection, but, I didn't feel any connection with any either at the farmer's market. But I saw a flower stand and a light bulb came on. I bought a nice bouqet of flowers for the girl and walked back up the street to my hotel.
An hour or so had past since the phone call so I thought to myself, "Well it's now or never...what do you have to lose?" So I gave her a call, she picked up the phone again.."Bella speaking" and didn't give her a chance to talk. I immediately said, "So I got an idea...why don't you call your sis and you both can meet me at a public place of your choice and both have pencils in each of your hands. That way if I'm not a complete gentleman you can both stab me in the eyes with the pencils..."
She burst out in laughter just like when I called her Hellen Keller on the plane. She thought that was a wonderful idea if her sister was free. She said that she'd call me back so she asked for my hotel info and number. I figured she's probably getting important info at the same time just for safety. Whatever. She calls back and said that her sister reluctantly agreed. I said, "Perfect. It's just in time for lunch!". I asked her where and she gave me the name and address of an outdoor cafe where they served wonderful lunches. I called a cab and got all pertied up for the "date" (at least in my mind) and grabbed the flowers on the way out the door. I snagged a cab and after some crazy ass driving from the cabby I arrived. I saw the both of them sitting outside at a table. But they hadn't seen me. I thought.."oh my god they are BOTH soooo fine..." What had I gotten myself into with these pretty, rich snooty girls. I was happy to have a few grand on my trip and they probably blow that much for a new pair of shoes.

Oh well...I took a careful approach making sure that they didn't see me until I was hovering over her reaching out with the flowers. I told her I got them from the farmer's market and I could tell her sister was pleased. So was she. God she was fine. Almost too fine to be as casual and playful as she was acting cause she had a pencil she was hiding under a napkin that she pretended to stab me with. We were laughing and could tell that her sister was a bit impressed with the apparent connection me and her sister had made. I thought, cool...better for me. That means that it must not happen too often for Bella. My main thought the whole time was how fine her sister was, too...and that if I were to have any chance at getting in this girl's panties that I needed to win her sister over. So I began formulating any sort of plan I could think of. So we ordered lunch. Started chit chatting about what we would do today. They wanted to do some stuff that was touristy but things that they hadn't done before like take a bus tour and go to the London Eye. I paid particular attention to her sis as part of my plan. I said and did anything to make her laugh without over doing it. Girls like to laugh and if you can make them do it and not at your expense then they'll like you at some level.
We went to the London Eye so that we could look down on all of London and if we saw anything in particular we would want to do. We did it but only saw fancy bridges and the like. They were cool but kinda a boring attraction if you ask me. So, after the London Eye, we went to some modern art museum of some sort since I "liked art". Haha...seems I had her fooled. But we did see some erotic art which was cool cause we all got kinda quiet so I know it put a little sexual tension in the air. Perfect! Anything to get them thinking...I made sure to pretend I knew what I was talking about and saying **** like..."see how the figure twists to melt into the other the point where they touch is what makes it very erotic..." I was so full of **** but they bought it. Sweet!
We took the classis double-decker tour bus. They lived there so they took it for granted and never did it before themselves. It was cool cause I got to sit between 2 hot chicks on the top of the open air bus. Twas a good feeling... I kept imagining ramming my dick into both of them and getting them to **** me at the same time. But I knew I was just fantasizing. My real target was Bella or Isabel which turns out is her real name. But she went by Bella to everyone else. We did that for a couple of hours. Then we decided to roam around and they even did a little shopping for clothes. They were indeed well off cause the store they bought stuff from was expensive and they didn't have to ask about the prices of the clothes which were not marked. Wow..So I took that opportunity to reveal my poverty by making fun of myself mentioning that what they just bought was probably worth all the money I had saved for my whole trip. They seemed to think it was cool that I wasn't pretentious and still confident in myself enough not to trip about money.
They were laughing and said..."You probably think we're a couple of spoiled brats.." I said "Exaaaaactly" and we all started laughing. Bella's sister (whose name was Lisa by the way) said, "Well our parents may be well of but we're down to earth. We'll prove it to you...we'll take you dancing tonight at a place where spoiled brats wouldn't go." I said "Cool. Where?". But she wouldn't say. We chatted and I kept flirting a bit with Lisa but w/out crossing the line and saw a nice place for dinner. This time it was indoors and the mood lighting was cool. A jazz band was playing and everything was all good. After dinner I mentioned that it would be a good idea for all of us to chill for a bit and I would go back to my hotel and shower and change for the night.
They said cool and dropped me off. I was ****ing ecstatic cause this kinda **** never happened to me in LA. Somehow I had won the Lotto on the way to a European vacation. I showered..jerked off in the shower (had to tell the truth here) and watched the tube for a bit. They called and said that they would be on their way in about an hour. So I took a little siesta and waited for their call. "Brrrrrriiiiinggg!" It was them downstairs and they said they were coming up. ****! I overslept. So I start rushing to get my clothes on and they get to the door cause I was only on the 2nd floor close to the stairs. I had my pants on but that was it. I invited them in and they looked ****ing SMOKING HOT! They were laughing cause it was apparent that I'd fallen asleep. So I rushed in the bathroom finished getting ready and went back in the main room and threw my shirt on. We left for the club.
Turns out it was a salsa club. I didn't even know they had any there...I was ignant and thought they only had those in Miami and Cali. Hahaha. Anyway. Perfect cause I've been a big salsa dancer since I was in Jr. high school. So we get to the bar and grab a couple of drinks. They were trying to see if I was nervous about the dancing. I played coy and acted like I didn't know a thing about it. I said we'd all have to have more than just 1 drink to get me out there. So we did and Bella asked me to dance. I pretended to be shy a bit but only for sec and said alright. We start doing the basic and she can tell that I've done it once or twice before. Soon it was apparent that I knew far more than she did and was turning her with all kinds of **** the other dudes there were'nt doing. It's funny cause it's the same dance but in a different place they do it just a bit differently. Anyway the whole club seemed to be used to how everyone else was doing it, even though there were a ton of dudes there that would put me to shame. They seemed to like my style of it.
I danced with Bella for a quite a few songs and I said that I should go grab Lisa so she wouldn't get bored. She agreed and got snatched up by some other dude right away. I grabbed Lisa and she was eager to dance. In fact she seemed like she wanted to **** me on the dance floor. I kinda started to get nervous of what Bella might have been thinking so I kept glancing over at her dancing with the other dude. She kept looking at us and smiling, but, I didn't want to jump to conclusions and start thinking it was OK to start groping her sister on the dance floor. Still because of the nature of salsa dancing your really really close, it's sexual, and your hands are all over the girl anyway. So it was cool. We danced for a few hours taking breaks here and there to chill at a booth and sip drinks.
After a while it seemed like we were all ready for something else when Lisa said that she had to go home cause of work the next day. So we took a cab back to Bella's place where Lisa's car was. We were sitting there chatting on the driveway for a bit when I asked if they could call me a cab. Lisa immediately said, "No!. Don't be a wanker Bella take him home!". They constantly used these funky slang words that seemed ultra cheesy to me, but, what do I know. They're British. So Lisa drove off and Bella got her keys and she started taking me back to my hotel. There seemed to be a slight awkwardness in the car so I tried to make it casual again by talking about the day and all the stuff we did. Before you knew it we arrived at the hotel. I had to try was THE perfect timing. So I thanked her and her sis for the day profusely and mentioned how much fun I had. Then I said bye. But as I was stepping out of the car I ever so casually can come up for a night cap if you're wide awake.
To my surprise she agreed. She parked her car and we walked upstairs. I grabbed a bottle of whatever the **** it was and opened it. I knew it would cost me to open it but it was worth it. We sat on the balcony and slowly sipped it. It was ****ing aweful tasting. I said in an ultra sarcastic tone.."Mmmmmm this is greeeaattt!!" and poured it over the balcony. She spit out the sip she had in her mouth in laughter. I opened another bottle and it was a bit better but now it would cost me twice as much. Oh well. We chatted and I could tell there was definitely some sexual tension in the air. You could cut it with a ****ing knife. So I got up and sat in the chair next to her and said, "Hi." and just looked at her. She looked at me for a sec and said, "So I noticed you and my sister on the dance floor tonight. So do you like her?" She was smiling while she said that but it was fake. She was wondering if I was a jerk enough to try and hit on her sis when I met her 1st. I said, "Then you must have noticed me keep looking at you." and I kissed her. BAM!! It was on! I knew I was gonna hit it that night. We didn't stop kissing and groping eachother but managed to make it to the bed. You know what happens next. But I made sure to please her first or else I would blow my load in like 2 seconds flat from being as horny as I was all day. She was a dirty moaning her in bed who didn't hesitate a bit. I was falling in love with this bitch. DAMN!!! I ain't never had an experience like this before. We fell asleep after a while and woke up in the morning. So we woke up that morning and it didn't feel awkward at all. I woke with her turned on her side facing me and smiling. I guess she was watching me sleep. She said, "Sleep well?" I just said, "MmmmHmmm..." she replied "Me too" basically we were saying in so many words that we had a great **** session the night before.
We jumped in the shower together and she looked even nicer now that I could see every curve. DAMN. Nice long legs, nice C cup, super smoothe olive skin without a blemish. And me..well I almost felt embarrased. Even though I was fit I could hold no candle to her. And I certainly didn't have perfect skin like she did. But we decided to take turns washing eachother so we took a llooooooonnnng shower. It was nice. I was playing with her ass and happened to start playing with her anus. I didn't even mean to. I was just touching her all over and just started with it. I actually wasn't even into anal (pitching that is) like I am now. We were both all sudsy by now and she was moaning with me touching her anus. I kind of wanted to try sticking it in but I was kinda nervous. I didn't know my bounderies. Also, I hadn't done that before so I didn't know what would happen. So I chickened out like a big *** and put it in her pussy from behind while we were all sudsy. It slipped in quite easily cause we were all wet and sudsy but she complained that it stung a little cause of the soap. ****. I said sorry and she tried to wash herself as best she could. She felt guilty not letting me do what I wanted so she turned around, got down on her knees, and started slobbing the knob. Then by surprise she slid me all the way inside her throat and didn't stop til I came.

When I was finished she was smiling up at me and I almost felt bad cause I figured it must of hurt. She said it didn't cause I was all wet and it went in easily. Dude I swear I was beginning to fall in love with this chick. She taught me something new. I could now use this on future girls in the shower. BAM! We got dressed and dropped by her house or her "flat" as she called it so she could get changed. Nice place and she had a ton of clothes. Nicer place than any other girl's I'd ever been with up to that point. Anyway I was waiting for her to get dressed and laid down on her bed. She was taking off her clothes and started getting shy cause I was watching her. I said, "I've already seen you naked and we've been together already so why are you acting shy?". She said it was different cause we were having sex and I wasn't watching her bend over to put on new panties and all that kind of ****. So I said if she didn't want to feel shy then she should just take her panties off and we should have sex.
So she turned, looked at me, dropped her panties which was all she had on at the time and jumped on the bed on top of me. No sooner than she sat on top of me and guided me inside her do we hear a door open and her sister walks in and had an "oh ****" look on her face. As she's walking outside the door of the bedroom she was like..."I guess I'll just get going then..." She had this look on her face like she was thinking "Ooooooooh buuuuusted". Bella ran out and caught her sister before she got out the front door. All I could think was.."****. I didn't even come yet." I heard Bella saying, "Why didn't you call first?"
Lisa - "I saw your car and figured you were home so I came in. I never figured you two would be shagging in your flat already..."
Bella - "Yeah well he's really nice."
Lisa - "I bet."
Bella - "Yeah well you better not tell mum and dad."
Lisa - "I'm not gonna tell mum and dad. Piss off."
Bella - "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Lisa - "I didn't feel like work so called in cause I wanted to join you guys today galavanting around town."
Bella - "Well just sit tight then and we'll get dressed and go out. We were about to go out anyway."
Lisa - "MmmmmHmmmmm...sure"
So I heard Lisa turn on the TV and Bella comes back in flush red in the face. I said sorry and she said I had nothing to be sorry about.
In fact I wasn't sorry but I felt like I should say something. Actually I was quite proud. I got my clothes on and chilled out in the room while she was getting dressed but after a few minutes decided to go outside to let her get finished. She seemed kind of embarrassed. So I go out of the room and sit on the couch and started watching the tube. Lisa had a huge ****ing grin on her face and I started to get one too. She said, "Having fun are we?" and we both started laughing.
Bella walks in soon after and we all look at eachother and burst out laughing So now we're kind of at a loss as to what to do. Bella's driving and kinda quiet possibly contemplating all the **** that's going on. I didn't want to worry about it. But Lisa is the type of person that can't stand a moment's silence or awkwardness so she's starting to probe me about what I do, where I'm from, blah blah blah. The mood had definitely changed from yesterday and it was less casual and funny. It had a more personal tone to it. Oh well at least we were talking...and Lisa seemed interested in all my ****.
I told them how I used to be from an asian gang in LA, had my house shot at, born in Phillippines, but grew up definitely a full on Cali beach bum regardless of all the trouble. I didn't wanna share all this cause it usually turns girls off. But Bella seemed all ears and would ask a question here and there. Lisa would ask lame questions like if I'd ever killed anyone, blah blah. Kinda sounded like when some newbie white belt first joins a BJJ class and starts asking all the higher belts if they'd ever snapped anyone's arm. I laughed and said no. Lisa half thought that I was full of **** so I said, "Why in the world would I make that up? If anything it turns people off." I was sitting shotgun and she was sitting behind Bella who was driving. Then I turned to her and showed her a couple of scars I had over my eyebrows from getting hit with a pipe and a mini bat. Then I showed her some obvious teeth marks on both my hands where I'd knocked some fools' teef out. She said, "Wow" and started joking that they had a genuine LA gangster on their hands. I said, "Anyways.." and tried to change the subject to lighten things up again.
We'd been driving aimlessly for a little while now. Bella decided that she would take us wine tasting on the outskirts of the big city so I would get to see more of London. We went and started sipping the wine. It was great timing cause after a few glasses the girls were a bit more relaxed again and before you knew it they forgot the awkwardness of all that had transpired that morning and started being more happy go lucky again. I started cozying up to Bella again and she said, "I wondered when you'd say hi again." Lisa was off getting another glass and she took the time to apologize for her sister if she was a little poky about my personal stuff. I said I didn't care and thought her sister was super cool. She just smiled.
We drank, snacked, ate lunch, picnic'd (minus the picnic blanket) and the question came up of when I was going to leave London. Bella remembered that I had planned to go all over Europe and she never thought to ask how long was the London part of my trip before. I guess we never thought we'd be in the situation where it would matter that much, I guess. Well I was forced to think about it too and said..."well I have 3 more nights in my hotel and I was supposed to be off to the Netherlands for a few days, Paris for 2 weeks, then Italy for the rest and then fly back home.
Lisa was like, "Cool" only thinking of all the cool locations even though she'd been to all of them at least a few times and Bella too. But Bella was a bit more quiet. Obviously she was thinking the same thing I was. It kind of forced us to think of what we were doing. When you're not a male whore which I definitely was not (even though I tried) and you're not a slut (which she didn't seem) an intense sexual encounter might leave you with some intense feelings. Well, I wanted time to think about it to scheme up what I'd wanted to do about the whole thing when not under the I said, "well let's not think about that now. For now I have at least a few days..." Bella smiled but I could tell she was still thinking about it.
We hung out just a bit longer then drove back into town. We visited a photo gallery of some famous local photographer who seemed to only photograph models. It was cool and we were all pretty impressed with the guy's skills. We decided to go shopping for dinner so Bella could cook us dinner. Perfect. I don't have to waste so much money. We did that and went back to Bella's place. Put everything in the "cooler" (fridge to us) and started watching a little TV. They had strange shows and the drama was cheesy to me. We found a game show that we were busting up making fun of the players, host, and music. It was cool just chillin. I got tired and started dozing off. Bella was really cozy with me on the big couch and she noticed I was falling asleep so she laid me down and laid down in front of me so I could spoon her on the couch as we watched TV. I noticed that Lisa crashed out on the love seat and after that I dozed off too.
We must have been tired or drunk, or both cause we all crashed for about 2 1/2 hours. Woke up and it was dinner time. Bella cooked and it was the ****. Seems like cause she was the older of the 2 (23 at the time) that she got more of the motherly skills from her mother. Lisa (who was 21) was more of the wild child, easily impressed with my gangster background, salsa dancing, and ability to tell a good joke. She was always laughing. Anyway dinner was cool and they put on some American romantic comedy and we all watched it. Before you know it, it was late and I didn't want to impose and ask for a ride but I didn't want to assume that I could spend the night. But Bella said very matter of factly right after the movie was over..."You're spending the night." So I guess that was that. Lisa wanted to stay but couldn't find a way to fit into the equation after the movie so she said..."Well I'm off. But maybe tomorrow we could do something again." It was Thursday and apparently she didn't work that day. Bella said, "great" and she was out the door. Bella gave me a new tooth brush and I brushed my teeth and got in my chonies. After all that's all I had to wear to sleep. When I was in college and single I decided to take a trip to Europe and chose London as my initial destination. I planned it for months and saved enough to stay there for 1 1/2 months. Anyway, the flight was ****ing delayed twice but managed to finally start moving.
I was dreading the long ass flight especially since there were no Ipods back in 95' and you'd have to use a lame ass walkman or some huge digital predecessor to the modern day Ipod. Either way you'd have to bring a **** load of batteries. But it was my luck that there was a blond-haired green-eyed beauty that was about my age sitting next to me. I had the window seat and she had the aisle and there was nobody sitting in between us.
So we're about an hour into our flight and the only words that were exchanged between us were when I asked her to flag the attendant down so I could buy a stiff drink. So I drink a rum and coke but it wasn't enough so I ask the attendant for another but to make it stiffer this time. The attendant laughed and asked if I was scared of flying or something. I said.."Nah..I'm celebrating getting the **** outta Dodge for a while...". I managed to get a flirty laugh and she said coming right up.
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Would You Take This Bet? Using IG's trading platform: Chapter 3 WINNING $95,000 ON KSI VS WELLER Craps - Table Etiquette Line Shopping Betting Guide (w/ SuperBook Manager Jay Kornegay)  Wise Kracks

Here is a list of 80+ slang terms for money. Some of the terms are similar to each other; some are even derivatives of each other, but they all relate back to money. This is not an exhaustive list. I’m sure there are some terms I missed, and I’m sure more terms will be coined in the years to come. In any event, this is a fun list to get Betting Ring The area at the race track given over to bookmakers to display their odds. Book The bookmaker keeps a list of all competitors in the field and their price. The is collectively known as a book. Bottle Refers to odds of 2/1 in betting slang. Burlington Bertie Refers to odds of 100/30 (or 10/3) in betting slang. Buy Smart Money – Wager thought most likely to win, often with 'insider' information. Special Bets – More unusual bets such as the Union Jack. Can also refer to bespoke betting lines e.g. Liverpool's next manager. Spread – Generally used to define the lowest to the highest odds for either an individual selection or an entire field. Money Slang. There is scads of Cockney slang for money. Much of it derives from the designs on the notes - five pounds, ten pounds, twenty pounds. The first things you gotta learn are that five pounds is a fiver, and ten pounds is a tenner. Then you gotta know the key money values: £20 is a Score, £25 is a Pony, £100 is a Ton, £500 is a The 'where there's much there's brass' expression helped maintain and spread the populairity iof the 'brass' money slang, rather than cause it. Brass originated as slang for money by association to the colour of gold coins, and the value of brass as a scrap metal. bread (bread and honey) = money. From cockney rhyming slang, bread and honey

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