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The story I'm about to tell you is true.
Perhaps the most intriguing part of this story is that every single person reading this post - every single one of you - was alive when this story became news in 2004.
That fact is intriguing because everyone reading this post has either never heard this story, or forgot about it (I'm betting on the first one, because it is truly unforgettable).
Furthermore, once you hear this story in its entirety, I can promise it will be seared into your memory forever.
Our main character is a man named Marc Dutroux. He was born in Belgium in 1956. He was twice convicted of kidnapping and raping underage children. The first time was in 1989. The second time occurred in 1996.
That was not a typo - you read that correctly. He was convicted and served a (much too brief) sentence in 1998. He served only 3 and a half years of his 13 year sentence because he was released for good behavior. Less than 10 years later, he was arrested again on the same charges (different victims).
In the second round of charges, he was convicted of kidnapping, torturing and abusing victims, some of them to the point of death.
What I am about to tell you comes from the statements made by his surviving victims (called the X Files), Marc Dutreox himself, and evidence from law enforcement. I've also added references/citations at the very end of this post.
Here we go.
Marc confessed to kidnapping, raping, drugging, torturing and filming children for many years. He also claimed he was doing it at the behest of a political elite who financed his career as a professional trafficker.
Not only did this political elite finance his efforts - they made specific requests of him. Sometimes they requested specific types of children (they were called "party favors" and he was asked to deliver kids of certain age, sex, race). Sometimes they requested specific means of torturing the children to fulfill their desires (orgies, satanic rituals involving sacrifices, torture games).
And sometimes they requested he film certain influential people engaged in these acts, for later use as blackmail.
He claimed many of his customers and financiers were world leaders. This was not a stretch of the imagination because he lived in Belgium, where the EU and NATO headquarters were located. This statement was also corroborated by victims who were able to identify specific politicians.
Anneke Lucas was one of his victims who testified against him. She claimed she was 6 years old when the cleaning lady hired by her mother sold her to the pedophile network in 1969. Her claims were extraordinary:
-She was raped over seventeen hundred hours before turning 12 years old. -She was 6 years old when she was forced to participate in her first orgy, which included wearing an iron dog collar and eating human excrement. -She would actually be delivered back to her parents from time to time. However, her parents themselves were complicit in the crimes and always sent her back to her abusers. -Torture included being strapped to a butchers block used to execute other children. Other victims were forced to torture her for hours as part of their initiation. -She was considered attractive and that made her preferred by her abusers. She claimed that she tried to use that to her survival advantage to the best of her ability, but by the age of eleven, she had become so broken that she was slated to be executed and disposed of. -She said she was saved when one of her abusers negotiated for her freedom. That abuser would later sit as a defendant in the trial.
Other witnesses and victims would soon come forward, describing such things as “Black Masses,” with child and adult sacrifices taking place in front of observers and participants, which included prominent politicians and figures. This would be corroborated by a note found by police at the house belonging to Bernard Weinstein—a man who previously worked with Dutroux, but whom Dutroux had murdered. The letter contained very specific requests for certain types of victims for satanic sacrifices.
The letter was signed by a man who called himself 'Anubis'. It turned out 'Anubis' was the high priest of a satanic cult called 'Abrasax' whose real name was Francis Desmet. Police obtained a warrant and seized computers, documents, mail, actual human skulls, jars of blood, and all sorts of Satanic items - but none of this was enough to make an arrest.
As the Dutroux trial went public, other victims stepped forward and confirmed the testimony, offering up descriptions of sexual abuse and human sacrifice.
They also described “hunting parties” where elites would release naked children into the woods to hide, so that the elites themselves could hunt them down and slaughter them. Many of the stories from victims contained so many similarities, they were impossible to deny. For example, the hunting parties were often held at castles, where victims could not escape and were hidden from the public eye. Those not killed in the hunt were usually chased down and mauled/killed by Dobermans.
All of these victims echoed the testimonies of other, older survivors of ritual Satanic abuse from around the world.
It is also notable that Dutroux owned 10 homes valued at 6 million dollars.
It is also notable that Dutroux was not employed.
It is also notable that Dutroux received $1,200 per month in public assistance.
It is also notable that documents released by Wikileaks show large sums of money in various currencies were deposited into his wife's bank account.
It is also notable that those deposits coincided with reported kidnappings and missing children reports.
It is also notable that before his removal, judge Jean-Marc Connerotte was on the verge of publicly disclosing the names of high level government officials who had been recognized on video-tapes of sexual torture that took place in Dutroux's dungeon.
It is also notable that 20 potential witnesses for this case have died without explanation.
Does any of this sound familiar? Are there any headlines today that sound like history is repeating itself?
Guys, not one single thing in this post is theory. It's all proven and on record.
You see the pictures attached to this post? Those are images of hunting games. They're paintings that people like Tony Podesta buy, and hang in his home, and invite others over to enjoy.
We all know Epstein was a sick sob who had friends in high places - the same friends that hang out with Tony Podesta.
You think Epstein was the only one? That he's somehow unique? Or was he the low level one they were willing to sacrifice to protect everyone else involved at a higher level?
Do you realize now that when it comes to trafficking, satanism, pedophilia, human sacrifices, organ harvesting, adrenachrome - that it is art imitating life? That these people who are so obsessed with the art that glorifes these things might actually, themselves, be engaged in these things?
Do you think normal, non-pedo, non-cannibal, average Joes would hang that garbage up in their homes?
Suddenly the claims that world leaders and governments being involved in this satanic horror show isn't so far fetched after all.
Suddenly its not so crazy to say that world agencies who claim to stop these crimes (WHO, UN) are actually facades that cover up the real work of procuring and enabling - yes, even participating - in these crimes.
Suddenly the whole house of cards comes crashing down.
With this one case, all the unbelievers are silenced.
For crying out loud, this trial was in 2004! Did you remember it? If not, do you wonder why it was not front page news across the world?
And if you're asking yourself HOW DO THESE PEOPLE GET AWAY WITH THIS - have you not yet figured out that the very people who are supposed to end it, are doing it?
Most everyone has watched an Epstein documentary on Netflix - I think there's been maybe 3 or 4 made since his death. And the one thing I heard people say over and over and over again was this: "Where is Epstein's girlfriend and why hasn't she been arrested yet?"
Did anyone asking that question even try to find the answer? Or did you just shrug your shoulders and say, "Well, it is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it" and go on with your life?
Let me help you out.
Did you hear the news story from two weeks ago that President Trump fired federal prosecutor Geoffrey Berman? He was the prosecutor in charge of the Epstein case.
AG Barr requested Berman step down, and Berman refused. So Trump fired him and Berman was replaced with prosecutor Audrey Strauss. And then suddenly BAM! Maxwell is in custody.
You now get a front row seat for the horror show that is about to come out.
You will not believe who is involved and how deep it goes. And you will not believe the lengths they'll go to in order to protect their secrets. https://cwasu.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Confronting-An-Atrocity.pdf?fbclid=IwAR1iFppDKV9fKTovmv9zLfWBQduNSavsSNA4_4fuavxF6Y5u0n8tB7JfI60 http://archive.is/SFRGD http://archive.is/jxiLV#selection-3715.53-3715.70 https://www.euronews.com/amp/2019/10/27/explainer-paedophile-marc-dutroux-and-the-horror-case-that-united-a-divided-belgium Podesta like paintings
Edit: I am not the OP. I found is somewhere else on the internet and thought you guys would enjoy it. I’m pretty surprised I haven’t heard of it myself.
Edit: Anneke Lucas testimony
This is a pretty valuable testimony from the former child who helped expose Dutroux.
I Read It So You Don't Have To: Little Kids, Big City (by Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen)
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Inspired by the overwhelmingly positive response to my previous 'book report' on Ramona Singer's Life on the Ramona Coaster
(seriously, thank you all -- truly supporting other women 🙏🙏), I decided to try my hand at writing up yet another of the embarrassing number of Housewives books in my personal collection: Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen's Little Kids, Big City: Tales from a Real House in New York City with Lessons on Life and Love for Your Own Concrete Jungle
After reading just the title of this book, I'm already exhausted. It's pretentiously long and awkwardly phrased while somehow still managing to be entirely devoid of meaning. In other words, a perfect encapsulation of Simon and Alex. The summary on the back cover describes the pair as the "breakout stars" of RHONY, an assessment that I would charitably call 'debatable,' before going on to inform me that I can look forward to "informative and often hair-raising stories of life in the urban jungle," and that "Alex and Simon use their own hard-won experience as a springboard to discuss a host of parenting topics." I anticipate that this content will be quite useful to me, the guardian of four cats that I spoil endlessly and treat like my actual children.
One of the pull-quotes on the back cover allegedly comes from our very own Bethenny Frankel. I say 'allegedly' because I refuse to believe that the following passage would ever come out of Bethenny's mouth (or keyboard or whatever):
Alex and Simon don't take themselves too seriously, which seems to be essential to parenting. Their fresh 'he said, she said' perspective on parenting is both humorous and insightful!
Please, take a moment and do your very best to picture mention-it-all, betting-on-horse-races-at-age-five Bethenny unironically using the phrase "fresh 'he said, she said' perspective." To describe Simon van Kempen and Alex McCord. Right, didn't think so.
My experience reading Little Kids, Big City
started on an unexpected high note when I opened the front cover to find that my copy (purchased used through Better World Books for the low, low price of $5.31 with shipping) had been signed by Ms. you-are-in-high-school-while-I-am-in-Brooklyn herself, Alex McCord
! Truly a gift I do not deserve. Samantha and Debbie (whoever and wherever you may be), thank you for your service. I am forever in your debt.
Unfortunately, as would soon become painfully clear to me, after starting off on such a promising note, I would have nowhere to go but down.
The book, which is written in alternating passages from Alex and Simon, begins its introduction with a chronicle of Alex's "fashionably nomadic" early adulthood. Ever the proto-edgelord, she recalls, "I did all those things our mothers warned us about and had fun doing them." We switch to Simon's perspective to hear the deeply embarrassing story of the couple meeting through a dating app while Simon was on a business trip in New York City. No, there is absolutely nothing embarrassing about meeting someone on a dating app. But there absolutely is
something embarrassing about using the profile name "Yetisrule" to meet someone on a dating app. To clarify, this was apparently Alex's username, and I remain hopeful that we will get a more thorough explanation of her connection to the elusive Yeti as this book continues.
Alex tells us that, while she and Simon hadn't initially planned to have children, they eventually started to have "clucky feelings." I have never heard this phrase in my entire twenty-five years of life, but based on context clues and also a Google search, I learned that it means they wanted to have a baby. Don't worry, though! As Alex tells us, "You can
be eight months pregnant and wear a leather miniskirt." Personally, this is life-changing news -- I had always believed that I couldn't have kids unless I was willing to compromise my 90s goth aesthetic! Maybe I'll rethink this child-free thing after all.
The next bit of advice seems like it actually could potentially be sort of helpful. "No one is a good parent all the time -- nor is anyone a bad parent all the time," they reassure the reader. "You can become a parent without losing yourself." Unfortunately, as soon as I catch myself nodding along, the modicum of goodwill I'd built up is promptly trashed by a gag-worthy line from Simon: "If you take nothing away but a wry smile after reading our little tome, then we've done our job." I immediately vow not to smile until I'm finished reading this book. Excuse me, this little tome
The book starts in earnest with Chapter 1: "Does a German Shepherd Need a Birth Plan?" To be perfectly honest, I was not expecting a riddle at this juncture, but I am nevertheless excited to hear Simon and Alex tell us "why childbirth is not an intellectual activity." First, however, we get a passing reference to "Park Slope, home of the ParkSlopeParents.com message board made famous in 2007 with a so-ridiculous-it-got-headlines discussion on gender-specific baby hats and where feminism can be taken to extremes." And despite the lame alarmist allusion to ~*XTREME feminism*~, this line did manage to lead me down an interesting Internet rabbit hole
, so thanks for that, I guess?
Jesus Christ, I am on PAGE 4 and I am already so done with Simon. Presented without comment:
With the Park Slope OB-GYN, we had the first sonogram and saw the little blip on the screen -- our child-to-be. They say seeing is believing and as nothing was happening inside me, seeing confirmation on the video monitor that indeed my spermatozoa had penetrated and infiltrated one of Alex's ova made me aware that my days as a footloose and fancy-free guy might be coming to an end.
Y'all, I am currently working on my PhD in Molecular Biology. Which, if you were not previously aware, gives me the authority to decree that Simon is never allowed to use the word "spermatozoa" ever again. And so it is.
I was about to say that Alex's passages are at least more tolerable, but it appears I spoke too soon.
The stats they quoted referenced a 40 percent cesarean section rate in the city, and I wonder how that can be acceptable? Are we heading toward Brave New World, where babies are scientifically created in petri dishes and gestated in artificial wombs? Oh wait, we're already there. Are we heading towards a Wall-E existence, where we ride around in carts everywhere and do nothing for ourselves so that our bodies break down and we're all fat, oozy blobs drinking protein from a straw? Somebody slap me, please!!
Truly, Alex, it would be my pleasure.
As a Type-A person, just reading the story of Alex's first pregnancy and delivery gave me anxiety. She says that she just never really "felt the need to establish a birth plan" and that she "gave in to any craving [she] felt." Don’t worry, though -- "If I had suddenly craved chalk, ecstasy or Elmer's Glue, I'd have thought twice." I feel like there is some symbolism here to unpack (Could the Elmer's Glue be a metaphor for the childlike spirit of connection and unity???). Simon describes himself as "a learn-on-the-job guy" and tells us that he and Alex "failed to attend the last couple of [birthing] classes as by then we both just wanted to let instinct take over when the time came." As someone who has never trusted my instincts even once in my entire life, I cannot relate.
Twelve days after his due date, baby François is born. Except it turns out that he actually was born right on time, but Alex "didn't keep regimented track of [her] periods" and miscalculated. What a bummer that modern medicine hasn't advanced to the point where doctors can guide you about that sort of thing.
I don't even know what to say about this next bit, but God help me, I still have 215 more pages of this book to go.
Although the final stages of labor were very, very painful, I [Alex] never used our code word (tin can) for "game over, give me drugs." I definitely recommend using a code word, because it was kind of fun to scream, "I want drugs, give me drugs" through a contraction and have the midwife, nurse and Simon all know I wasn't serious. Once he [François] was finally out of my body, I experienced a tsunami of endorphins that was almost orgasmic, and I understand completely the stories other women have written about ecstatic birth. Simon was sitting behind me at the point of birth, and later when we untangled ourselves he discovered he'd actually ejaculated though hadn't felt any of the normal lead-up to that. It may seem distasteful to some, and definitely neither of us was thinking of sex at the time, but with the rush of emotion and my lower nerve endings going crazy, it's not too far a stretch to say that it's a profound experience.
Johan is born two years later, although it's unclear from the text whether either parent reached orgasm during the event.
The chapter ends with a top-ten list entitled "10 Things We'll Remember That Happened During Pregnancy." These include useful tidbits like
- Best advice I heard: men's genitals grow and change shape regularly, then go back to the way they were before. Don't worry about your female delicate bits being able to retract.
Which is…a lovely sentiment. But one that is slightly undermined by phrasing the first part in the grossest way possible, as well as by the use of the phrase "female delicate bits." I do like the idea that they "retract," however, because I think it's very cool to imagine the vagina as an SUV sunroof. By the grace of God, Chapter 1 comes to a close.
In Chapter 2 (titled "No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn, What's My Name Again? and Who is This Alien?" -- seriously, were they padding their word count with chapter titles?), we get more questionable parenting advice from the McCord-van Kempens. They glibly dismiss concerns about co-sleeping ("Simon and I both slept with cats and dogs our whole lives without squishing them"), which I honestly would be more annoyed about if I hadn't immediately gone on to read Simon's account of "the midnight race to the 24-hour pharmacy to buy a breast pump as Alex's breasts were seemingly engorged with too much milk and she thought they were about to explode and fly off her chest." As it stands, I'm truly too defeated to care. Again, just to be perfectly clear: no shade to having issues breastfeeding, all shade to using the word 'engorged.’ And also for giving me the mental image of Alex's breasts desperately struggling to flee from her body (though to be fair, who could blame them?).
Proving that she does not inhabit the same world as the rest of us mortals, Alex tells us that she expected that her state of sleep-deprivation as she raised two young children would "spur [her] creativity with graphic design." For some reason, this does not seem to be the case. Alex is puzzled.
Finally, we've come to this chapter's top ten list ("Top 10 Memories of Random Things We Did While in the Post-Birth Haze"). While these lists have so far been utterly irredeemable, they also mean the chapter is coming to a close, so I can at least take some solace in that. This particular list ranges from the irritating…
- We subversively took sleeping babies to as many non-child-friendly places as possible to prove the point that children can be seen, not heard and not bothersome, such as dinner at the Ritz in London, the Sahara Desert, shopping on Madison Avenue, Underbar in Union Square and film festivals.
…to the truly unnecessary.
- While changing François' diaper on day one or two, we both stood mesmerized by the changing pad as meconium oozed out of him. It was really the most bizarre and fascinating thing I'd seen to date.
With the couple's general backstory and credentials now under our belts, Chapter 3 ("The Screaming Kid on the Plane is NOT Mine! (This Time)") focuses on advice for traveling with children, which Alex admits "can be a complete pain in the you-know-what." I cannot describe the rage I feel at the fact that she has -- in no fewer than 50 pages -- forced me to read about both her newborn son's excrement and
her husband's ejaculate, but cannot bring herself to use the word "ass." Alex, we're really far beyond that at this point, don't you think?
Not to be outdone, Simon shares a conversation he had with François that is remarkable not for its content, but for the fact that one of Simon's nicknames for his son is apparently "F-Boy." Thanks, I hate it.
This chapter's list ("Alex's Top 10 Travel Memories") includes the entry:
- Both boys charging down Saline Beach in St. Barths like something out of Lord of the Flies.
So, like a horde of primal sadists? I'm wondering if Alex and Simon have inadvertently confused Lord of the
Flies with the hit 2007 reality show Kid Nation
. I really hope that's what's going on here.
Chapter 4 ("'Mommy, Johan is Gone!'") promises to teach us how to handle accidents. I'm not sure how comfortable I feel taking emergency advice from the authors of this particular book, but (in large part due to the fact that I have slept since reading the previous chapter, giving the pain a chance to dull somewhat), I am willing to at least hear them out.
After relaying a story of François needing emergency surgery after a foot injury, Alex tells us that at one point, she and Simon realized they had spent "nearly $5000 on Indian takeout" in the past year. For the mathematically averse, this works out to a monthly budget of roughly $100 worth of Indian food per week, making my quarantine Uber Eats habit seem downright quaint by comparison. The chapter-ending list walks us through the "Top 10 Things We Do in a Crisis," and fortunately, the tips seem pretty benign.
- Knowing what calms the children down, such as making silly faces or reciting Shel Silverstein poetry backwards.
Wait, hang on. What?
reciting Shel Silverstein poetry backwards
I'm sorry, please forgive me if I have missed some recent, paradigm-shifting development in the field of early childhood education, but what?? As in, "ends sidewalk the where
?" "Sdne klawedis eht erehw?" I am truly befuddled.
Maybe the next chapter ("'Is Today a Work Day or a Home Day, Mommy?'") will have some applicable wisdom for me, as I will, in fact, be working from home every other week for the foreseeable future. And, I cannot stress this enough, I am a psychotically overinvested cat mom. Alas, we are instead treated to an unnecessarily detailed breakdown of how important it is to delegate, and specifically that Simon cleans up vomit and Alex cleans up "feces in the various forms that come out of children's bottoms at appropriate and sometimes inappropriate times such as the middle of Thanksgiving festivities." As if we needed another reason to consider Thanksgiving problematic.
The chapter takes a brief commercial break…
When an everyday product can do double duty such as Dawn Hand Renewal with Olay Beauty, a dish soap that seals in moisture while I'm tackling cleanup, sure, I'll buy it.
…before closing out with a list of the "Top 10 Things We Do Because We Were Here First." I am happy to confirm your worst suspicions and tell you that item number one is indeed "Have passionate sex."
In Chapter 6 ("I Saw Your Nanny…Being Normal?"), I find myself actually sympathizing with Alex for the first time in this book. Which is mostly just because the chapter starts by talking about all of the awful, catty parental competitions that seem endemic to a certain crew of white Manhattan moms, and it makes Alex come off at least slightly less irritating in comparison.
That is, at least until a few pages later, when she starts to complain about a previous au pair:
She was sullen, melodramatic and kept a blog about how she hated Americans, hated France, hated us and the children but loved New York. I think she must have thought we were idiots, and when she asked us to leave early we were only too happy to get her out of our home.
I would love to meet this woman. I think we could be great friends.
This chapter's list is even more difficult to parse than previous ones, because while it's titled "Top 10 Things Caregivers Have Inadvertently Done to Amuse, Annoy or Thrill Us," it's not at all clear which descriptors apply to which points. When a babysitter "accidentally used a household cleaning wipe when changing a diaper," were the McCord-Van Kempens amused? Annoyed? Thrilled? The world may never know.
In Chapter 7 ("'Putting To Death Is Not Nice,' a Duet for Two Boys and A Guitar"), Alex and Simon share some of their hard-earned childrearing wisdom with us. Which basically amounts to Alex telling us that, while normally misbehavior from the kids incurs a warning followed by a time-out, she has also developed an ingenious new strategy where she actually steps in to intervene when the stakes are higher. Let's listen in:
A third permutation is when there's a behavior that has to stop immediately, say if Johan has a big blue indelible marker and is running through a white hotel suite. I swoop in and grab the marker as to risk a three count [warning] would be to risk decoration of the sofa.
Take the marker from
the toddler immediately instead of trying to reason with him? Groundbreaking.
Side Note: At this point in my reading, I am incredibly satisfied to report that I have discovered my first typo in the book, and in one of Simon's sections no less! ("These toads secret [sic] a poison…"). This is wildly pedantic of me and proof that I am a deeply sick person.
We run though a list of "Top 10 Things We Never Thought We Would Have To Explain" ("10. Why hot pizza stones do not like Legos.") before moving right along into Chapter 8, "Don't Listen to the Well-Meaning Morons." Strangely, I have a very vivid memory of Alex saying "I have a chapter in my book called, 'Don't Listen to the Well-Meaning Morons" in some distant RHONY episode or reunion. I guess she was telling the truth.
The chapter opens with a series of passages in which Alex and Simon respond to various comments that have been made about their parenting over the years. I think this device is supposed to be a bit of lighthearted snark on overbearing strangers, but instead just comes off as weirdly defensive and passive-aggressive. A few examples:
"My daughter is perfect. Her table manners are excellent, she never speaks unless spoken to and we've always had white sofas at home since she was a child, with no staining."
-A woman with one preteen daughter, no sons
Your daughter sounds boring. I wouldn't want my sons to date her..
"Why are you outside?" - A bagel seller in Montreal, in February
I'm hungry and the stroller is well protected under the plastic cover. Johan is warm and cozy, the others are asleep in the hotel and I'm going stir-crazy. Is that enough, or should I buy my bagel from someone else?
"Excuse me, your baby is crying." -- Someone said to Simon as they peered into the stroller to try and determine the cause of said noise.
You don't say! Do you think, you stupid idiot, that I don't hear that? Do you think I think it's just loud music? Do you think I don't want him to stop and that I like it???
Sorry, did I say 'passive-aggressive'? Let's change that to just 'aggressive.'
But despite bristling at being the recipient of unwanted advice, far be it from Alex to shy away from giving her opinions on the shortcomings of other parents.
There was a mom at another table who wore all black and told her hyperactive daughter that they had to have a family meeting to decide what to do next. The type of woman who might ask her daughter to "process her feelings" about which color to choose. The type of woman who wanted make [sic] a big huge hairy deal about including her daughter in the decision-making process and "negotiating" the next best step for the family to take in the pottery shop. Pardon me while I shoot myself.
I'm sorry, but I just cannot respect this take coming from a woman who calms her sons by reciting comedic children's poetry backwards.
We next learn that there are "many websites out in cyberspace," some of which offer child-rearing advice. Simon summarizes their useless "vitriol" as such:
They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, whereas for the 21st century surely hell no longer hath fury, as it's all been hurled at the belittled and scorned Internet mom.
I'm honestly not entirely sure what this is supposed to mean, and my confusion continues all the way through this chapter's "Top 10 Ways We Make Ourselves Feel Better When It's All Getting To Be Too Much." We begin reasonably enough…
- Check to see whether the person offering advice has children. How old are they?
- Do they have a point? Are they right? It is entirely possible.
…before quickly losing all sense of self-awareness and flying completely off the rails.
- Will we ever see this person again? If not, can we get away with unleashing our fury on them? Note, if you're reading this and decide to try it for yourself, go big or go home.
The last few chapters have been a bit Alex-heavy, but never fear -- Simon pops back up in Chapter 9 ("If I Wouldn't Eat That, My Kid Won't Either") to tell us a charming story about how the family refers to his Bolognese sauce as "Dead Cow Sauce," and this is because his children are incredibly enlightened and understand the circle of life and where food comes from. Or something along those lines.
This chapter also provides a lot of really incontrovertible proof that, even though you may swear that your kids say the most hilarious things all the time, you are wrong. I love kids. I can play cool aunt with the best of them. But this "recipe" for "Johan's Concoction"
tries so hard to be cute and funny ("whisk violently -- making sure to spill a little out of the top") that I could barely stifle my groans. For anyone who happens to frequent RebornDollCringe
, I am strongly and inexplicably reminded of Britton.
A list of "Top 10 Things We Don't Like About Children's Restaurants" culminates with
- Where would you rather be? A bistro devoted to race-car driving, with 1950s toy cars on the walls, or T.G.I. Friday's?
Excuse me, ma'am, you must be unfamiliar with the concept of Endless Apps®
The title of Chapter 10 is "You'll Give in Before I Do!" and although the subtitle lets me know this is referencing "the art and warfare of bedtime," it's hard not to take it as a personal taunt from the authors. Most of this chapter is just transcriptions of 'cute' things François and Johan have said to try to avoid going to bed, but we do get this gem:
Slaying the dragon is our family euphemism for using the toilet (drowning the dragons that live in the sewer) and is fun for the boys to talk about, though probably not forever.
Before giving us a chance to adequately process this revelation, Alex goes on to reflect:
Hmm, perhaps I should delete this -- I don’t want obnoxious classmates getting hold of this book in 10 years and asking the boys if they need to slay the dragon in the middle of geometry class.
Alex, I assure you, you truly
have nothing to worry about. Any self-respecting bully will be far too focused on the fact that Simon ejaculated at the moment of his son's birth to pay this comparatively trivial factoid any attention.
The authors shake things up and end this chapter with lists of both "Top 20 Bedtime Stories" and "Top 10 Lullabies," both of which are thankfully inoffensive.
In Chapter 11 ("Children Like Shiny Objects"), we follow Alex and Simon as they purchase the townhouse we see them renovating on RHONY. Although other (read: lesser) parents might store breakables out of reach or limit children's toys to playrooms and bedrooms, Alex and Simon were blessed with two boys whose aesthetic sensibilities are already quite developed:
One kind of funny thing that I noticed recently is that the toys the boys tend to leave upstairs in our red and black living room often tend to be red and black as well. I'm not sure whether that's intentional, but it's funny that the room always seems to match regardless of its contents.
The list of "Top 10 Craziest Places We've Found Objects" is mercifully absent of any orifice-related discoveries.
After reading just the title of Chapter 12 ("Raising Baby Einsteins"), I'm bracing myself for the self-satisfied smugness to come. This preparation turns out to be duly warranted. Baby sign language is dismissed as "a scheme dreamed up by ASL experts who wanted to sell classes to easily influenced new parents," Mommy and Me classes are "not really for teaching anything," and we learn that Alex and Simon have instituted a bizarre family rule that "if a talking toy came into our house, it had to speak a foreign language or speak English in an accent other than American."
We learn that Simon apparently does not know what antonyms are
(for the record, Simon, the word you're looking for is homophones
) and that New York City is replete with "wailing, nocturnal, type-A obsessed harridans willing to sleep with persons not their spouse if they think it will help their child get into THE RIGHT SCHOOL." Uh, yikes. After a tediously long description of François' pre-school admissions process, Alex informs us:
As a former actor, I've always gotten into play-acting and dressing up with my children. Perhaps a little too much. But I've taken the opportunity to show off a few old monologues, complete with bounding around like a puppy. If you have knowledge, why not share it? If you happen to know Puck's speeches from a Midsummer Night's Dream by ear with tumbling and staged sword play, why the heck don’t you share that with your boisterous boys, who love it and run around shouting, "Thou speakest aright!"
I am suddenly compelled to call my mother and thank her profusely for never making me put up with anything like this. Maybe I'll also get her thoughts on one of the tips listed in "Top 10 Favorite 'Developmental' Things To Do": "if they want something that you want to delay giving them, make them ask in every language they can before giving in." To me, this seems like an effective way to encourage your children to learn how to say "Fuck you, mom" in French as early as possible.
In Chapter 13 ("Urban Wonderland"), Alex and Simon promise to share their unique perspective on "taking advantage of raising a child in the urban jungle." But mostly, we just get a rant about how everyone thinks their kids have weird names, and that makes Simon mad. This chapter's "Top 10 Reasons New York is the Center of the Universe to a Kid" list reminds us what truly matters: "there are more songs with NYC in their titles than any other city."
Immediately after telling us how great it is to live in a city (excuse me, urban jungle
), Alex and Simon switch tack and spend Chapter 14 ("'Daddy, a Cow! And It's Not in a Zoo!") expounding on the importance of exposing kids to nature. Sounds great, I'm on board. Unfortunately, we almost immediately take a hard left turn into a story from Simon's childhood where he and his brother are "befriended by this old guy, Dick, who lived on the outskirts of town in a small tin shed." We hear that Dick "occasionally pulled out an early Playboy
magazine back from the days when the lower regions were airbrushed out," and that "there had been pretty strong rumors of pedophilia," before promptly returning to the main narrative with no further explanation. I can only describe the transition as 'jarring.'
I can tell how exhausted I am at this point in the book by how hurriedly I skimmed the list of "Top 10 Differences We've Noticed Between City Kids and Country Kids." To be honest, I'm almost annoyed when a particularly bizarre quote manages to catch my attention, because that means I have to think about it for the full amount of time it takes me to transcribe from the page. I'm beginning to think that my initial hope that I could glean some useful cat-rearing advice from this experience may have been overzealous.
Chapter 15 ("You're Such a Great Parent, You Should Be on TV (LOL)") is the only chapter to directly address the family's time on RHONY. It starts with this (attempted) comedy bit in which Alex and Simon pretend to be hilariously self-aware and self-effacing (Alex: "Look up 'Mommylicious' in the dictionary and you will see a photo of me in a ball gown, breast-feeding an infant while making Osso Buco and directing carpenters to build a bookcase for my Dickens and Shakespeare."). This posture would be infinitely more believable if I hadn't spent the previous 205 pages watching these two take themselves deadly seriously.
But rather than share any juicy behind-the-scenes tidbits (or, indeed, convey anything of substance at all), Alex and Simon spend exactly 3.5 pages blustering about how it wasn't harmful for their children to be on TV before giving us a list of "Top 10 Hilarious Things The Boys Have Done While Filming or at Photo Shoots." Spoiler alert: none of them are 'hilarious.'
Chapter 16 is literally titled "The Light at the End of the Tunnel," which makes me feel like this whole experience may have just been Alex and Simon playing some sort of twisted game with me. Alex tells us this is "the chapter of hope," but given that she then tells us about a time when she "spent one full hour discussing why magic markers cannot be carried around with the caps off, particularly in a hotel suite with white couches and walls," I'm not sure exactly where this hope is coming from. Also it seems like this markers-in-a-hotel-room thing happens weirdly frequently. We are then treated to Alex and Simon's "Top 10 Moments of Getting It,'" which includes
- Apropos of nothing, Johan said, "You give us time-outs because you are teaching us to be good grown-ups."
This is a thing I'm sure Johan said completely organically and not in response to hearing his parents say "we're giving you a time-out so that you learn to be a good grown-up" approximately seven zillion times.
This brings us to the book's Epilogue (a mercifully short two pages) featuring the line "If you made it to the end of this book, we salute you." Honored to accept this hard-earned accolade, I can finally close the book and start figuring out a way to erase the memory of Simon busting a mid-childbirth nut from my aching brain. Wish me luck!
Megathread: Bernie Sanders in narrow win over Buttigieg in the New Hampshire Democratic primary
submitted by PoliticsModeratorBot to politics [link] [comments]
Bernie Sanders narrowly won the New Hampshire Democratic primary by a margin of about 4,000 votes, or less than 2 percentage points, over Pete Buttigieg, according to an NBC News projection.
Sanders, who represents neighboring Vermont, had been leading in the polls, so his victory wasn’t a surprise. But he and Buttigieg were closely bunched with the third-place candidate, Amy Klobuchar, allowing all three to claim either victory or solid momentum going into the next round of voting.
At the same time, former Vice President Joe Biden and Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., were headed toward poor showings and failed to get any delegates, NBC News projected.
Submissions that may interest you
|SUBMISSION ||DOMAIN |
|Sanders edges Buttigieg in New Hampshire, Dem front-runners ||apnews.com |
|Bernie Sanders Wins The New Hampshire Democratic Primary ||huffpost.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary ||thehill.com |
|Hey Everyone, Bernie Is 2-0': Sanders Wins First-in-the-Nation Primary. After nabbing popular vote victory in Iowa, Sanders takes the Granite State. "What we have done together here is nothing short of the beginning of a political revolution," Sanders declared. ||commondreams.org |
|Bernie Sanders Has Won The New Hampshire Primary. What’s Next? ||rollingstone.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire Primary ||nytimes.com |
|Bernie Sanders Wins New Hampshire ||nytimes.com |
|Sanders wins New Hampshire Primary ||nbcnews.com |
|Socialist Bernie Sanders Wins New Hampshire ||dailywire.com |
|New Hampshire primary: Bernie Sanders wins, CBS News projects ||cbsnews.com |
|Sanders projected to win the New Hampshire Democratic primary ||jpost.com |
|New Hampshire Feels the Bern: Sanders Wins First-in-the-Nation Primary ||commondreams.org |
|Bernie Sanders projected to win New Hampshire primary: NBC News ||cnbc.com |
|New Hampshire primary: Bernie Sanders projected to win as Democrats look to clarify muddled race ||abc7ny.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins the New Hampshire Democratic primary ||nbcnews.com |
|Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttigieg locked in another tight race in New Hampshire ||cnn.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary, making him the new national frontrunner ||businessinsider.com |
|Bernie Sanders just won the all-important New Hampshire primary ||vox.com |
|NBC News Exit Poll: Income divides Sanders and Buttigieg supporters in New Hampshire primary ||nbcnews.com |
|New Hampshire: Bernie Sanders leads in early results from key primary ||theguardian.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire Democratic primary ||sbs.com.au |
|Bernie Sanders sweeps New Hampshire, eyes oligarch ||njtoday.net |
|Sanders wins New Hampshire primary in narrow victory over Buttigieg ||marketwatch.com |
|'Hey Everyone, Bernie Is 2-0': Sanders Wins New Hampshire Primary ||commondreams.org |
|With New Hampshire Behind Him, Sanders Looks to Nevada Workers as Vegas Union Bosses Rally Against Him ||theintercept.com |
|Sanders on NH victory: Win is 'beginning of the end for Donald Trump' ||thehill.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire Democratic primary; Buttigieg, Klobuchar are top moderate candidates ||washingtonpost.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary - 'We are putting together an unprecedented, multi-generational, multi-racial movement, and this is a movement from coast to coast' ||independent.co.uk |
|Sanders wins three-way contest in New Hampshire primary ||wsws.org |
|Another split decision: Sanders narrowly beats Buttigieg in New Hampshire - Amy Klobuchar captures headlines with strong third-place finish; Warren and Biden far back in fourth and fifth ||salon.com |
|Democratic field narrows after New Hampshire but race is far from settled - The Democratic presidential primary now appears to be a battle between Bernie Sanders and any candidate who can stop him ||theguardian.com |
|Sanders edges Buttigieg in New Hampshire, cementing Democratic front-runners ||denverpost.com |
|Bernie Sanders' uneasy New Hampshire win ||axios.com |
|Sanders Wins In New Hampshire, Narrowly Beating Buttigieg ||aljazeera.com |
|Bernie takes New Hampshire as Buttigieg, Klobuchar fight to be his main opponent - Sanders emerges as frontrunner, but dropoff from 2016 suggests his campaign falls far short of a "revolution" ||salon.com |
|Sanders wins vote; Buttigieg leads in total delegates ||cnn.com |
|Bernie Sanders has crushed his Left-wing rivals while moderates fight each other - The battle among centrists to find an alternative is further boosting Bernie Sanders ||telegraph.co.uk |
|How Sanders Held Off Buttigieg And Klobuchar In New Hampshire ||fivethirtyeight.com |
|Sanders Is The Front-Runner After New Hampshire, And A Contested Convention Has Become More Likely ||fivethirtyeight.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary, narrowly beating Pete Buttigieg and Amy Klobuchar ||latimes.com |
|Bernie Sanders a limp leader after barely squeaking by in New Hampshire ||nypost.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire, DOJ turmoil and Westminster names new top dog: The Morning Rundown ||nbcnews.com |
|Sanders Is Winning Because He's Popular - Voters like the senator from Vermont—it’s socialism that makes them nervous. ||theatlantic.com |
|Bernie Sanders Got More Young Voters in New Hampshire Than Everyone Else Combined ||vox.com |
|Fueled by Diverse Working Class Voters, Sanders' New Hampshire Win Celebrated as 'Major Victory for Progressive Movement' ||commondreams.org |
|Did Bernie Sanders underperform in New Hampshire? ||vox.com |
|Watching Bernie Sanders Claim Victory In New Hampshire ||newyorker.com |
|New Hampshire resident tells MSNBC that its anti-Bernie Sanders coverage made her 'angry,' inspired her to vote for him in primary ||theblaze.com |
|With Back-to-Back Wins for Sanders, Pundits Proven Wrong in Iowa and New Hampshire ||commondreams.org |
|What New Hampshire's exit polls tell us about the primary - Bernie Sanders cleaned up among younger voters but was spurned by older ones. For Amy Klobuchar, it was the opposite. ||politico.com |
|Sanders rolls forward amid moderate divide - His triumph in New Hampshire also illuminated his vulnerabilities. ||politico.com |
|In New Hampshire and Beyond, Medicare for All Is Fueling Sanders’s Rise ||truthout.org |
|Ex-Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein laid into Bernie Sanders after his New Hampshire win, saying he'll wreck the economy and let Russia 'screw up the US' ||businessinsider.com |
|'Do They Never Learn?': Progressives Rip Media Attempts to Downplay Bernie Sanders Win in NH Primary ||commondreams.org |
|Why Bernie Sanders's New Hampshire primary win should terrify you ||washingtonexaminer.com |
|Former Goldman Sachs CEO rips Sanders after NH win: 'He'll ruin our economy' ||thehill.com |
|Democrats eye Nevada, South Carolina after Sanders wins in New Hampshire ||reuters.com |
|Bernie Sanders’ New Hampshire Victory Is a Big Deal for Socialism in America. Here's What To Know About the History of the Idea ||time.com |
|Analysis: Bernie Sanders' New Hampshire win ups pressure on moderates to coalesce ||pressdemocrat.com |
|Bernie Sanders lost among New Hampshire voters focused most on beating Trump New Hampshire shows Bernie Sanders still has an “electability” problem. ||vox.com |
|What changed for Sanders in New Hampshire since 2016? The electorate, for one. ||washingtonpost.com |
|Health Insurance Giant Reacts to Bernie Sanders' Slim Win ||finance.yahoo.com |
|Bernie Sanders claimed victory in the New Hampshire primary. Here's what that win means ||abc.net.au |
|Progressives to Voters Skeptical of Bernie Sanders: This 'Big Tent' Movement Is a Winning and Practical Choice — "Sanders is much more pragmatic and less ideological than his opponents would like to admit." ||commondreams.org |
|Bernie Sanders’ New Hampshire Win Was Fueled By the Sunrise Movement . Organizers with the Sunrise Movement and New Hampshire Youth Movement mobilized the youth vote in New Hampshire, helping Bernie Sanders win the primary. ||teenvogue.com |
|New Hampshire 2020: In Supreme Irony, the Horse Race Favors Bernie Sanders ||rollingstone.com |
|What revolution? New Hampshire results show Bernie Sanders base of support shrinking ||washingtonexaminer.com |
|Bernie Sanders wins New Hampshire primary; Buttigieg leads in delegate count ||fox8.com |
|The Night Socialism Went Mainstream - Bernie Sanders’s victory in the New Hampshire primary marks a turning point for Democratic politics. ||theatlantic.com |
|Elon Musk tweeted a bizarre 'Sonic'-themed meme of Bernie Sanders after he won the New Hampshire primary ||businessinsider.com |
|SC’s Joe Cunningham slams Bernie Sanders’ ‘socialism’ ahead of 2020 Democratic primary ||postandcourier.com |
|Investors bet on Sanders after New Hampshire win as Biden plummets: Smarkets ||finance.yahoo.com |
|Bernie Sanders and No One are tied for winning the Democratic Primary according to 538 ||projects.fivethirtyeight.com |
|'South Carolinians don’t want socialism': Democrat slams Bernie Sanders ahead of state primary ||washingtonexaminer.com |
|Sanders Would Bring the Center-Left’s Collapse to U.S.: Bernie Sanders winning the Democratic nomination wouldn’t be a freakish occurrence outside the experience of other advanced democracies. ||politico.com |
|‘Terrified of Bernie’: Sanders’ socialism spooks swing-district Democrats ||washingtontimes.com |
|AOC’s Speech Snub, ICE Remarks Rankle Bernie Sanders Campaign- AOC’s people were said to be unhappy at being called on the carpet and expressed concern over Sanders’s Joe Rogan embrace—but now AOC is back on the stump in New Hampshire. ||vanityfair.com |
|Bernie Sanders's New Hampshire Win Confirms He is the Front-runner, Like It or Not ||teenvogue.com |
|Why Does Mainstream Media Keep Attacking Bernie Sanders as He Wins? ||gq.com |
|Bernie Sanders on His Big Win in New Hampshire ||msnbc.com |
Oathbringer ch 13-15 readthrough
13 submitted by miggins1610 to Stormlight_Archive [link] [comments]
Again, not much to comment on the epigraphs tbh. Little disappointed with them so far since they tell us very little. I was hoping for more. Other than that a great start to the book though!
Just gonna roll back a little bit too to the Tarvangian letter. I wanted to add some stuff since i reread the last couple pages as i was falling asleep when i read them before. I wonder who the radiant is in Jah Keved. Only femalw radiant i can think of is Jasnah that could possibly be there. So likely someone we've not met yet. Anyway, i thought T didn't like radiants cus of the diagram. Odd too that the spren told this radiant to tell him about her powers. I don't like where this is heading. Dalinar totally oblivious.
Right, back into 13, we start with Veil! I am intrigued to see where this leads to. Iirc Mraize at the end of WoR said Veil was Shallan's true personality which intrigued me. The ghostblood stuff was some of my fave from WoR.
Yes i have the same question Shallan! Just how fsr do these speech powers go. I bet if Shallan speak another set of the immortal words, she will only grow in her capabilities.
That's not nice Shallan! Go to dinner. Sebarial and Palona are absolute babes and have been so good to you! Only fair to eat with them.
Ooh hopefully some of this cool sounding art comes out in the book. I would like to see the busy hubub of Urithriu. A tunnel into darkness though, what's that about?!
Oof. Only a cloth covering as a doorway? I know i would be wary about changing in there haha.
Omds. Brilliant! The fact its only a hand makes the reaction even better😂 to them its basically naked. I guess like ankles in the past lol. Too funny.
Now he's grinning?! Wow. The old dog hasn't lost his ways! But he treats Shallan well. Surprisingly so considering all his other failed relationships.
Hahahhaa. I can just imagine ' light the beacons' like from LoTR and they just get Shallan to make copies of herself through lightweaving and blush😂😂
Oh poor Adolin. Getting a roasting. Masculine enough to shit in his shardplate but feminine enough to make Shallan think he was Palona😂
What is the sign of the nine?
Quality banter between these two. Kaladin better not throw a spanner in the works. I want this to work now.
I wonder what the story is behind the phrase Ash's eyes. Does Ash destroy the eyes in the artwork of her? I can't remember lol.
Man Shallan is on fire with the zingers tonight haha.
Oh my goodness. Did Brandon really just make that joke?! Lool. I swear since era 2 of mistborn he has been going further and further haha. I love it!
Man it's good to see Shallan and Kaladin move forward and start to be happy in themselves. I appreciate the portrayal of the struggles which are very realistic but its good to have some happiness some of the time.
Yeah, did we ever get an answer as to why the Lightweavers have odd Ideals? I'd like to better understand the mechanics of what exactly happens when a radiant says the words and why only Lightweavers need declarations of truth instead of the usual radiant declerations.
Oh no. Don't hide it Shallan. That isn't healthy. Please don't bottle things up :(
Well i suppose if she accepts Pattern it's a step in the right direction. Lets just hope when she needs the blade, she can find the motivation to use it.
Ooh the official Pattern and Adolin introduction. Love how he calls Pattern a Shallan spren. Any thoughts that he could be a radiant are gone now as he clearly knows jackshit!
I love these cool little 3d models Shallan is making. Shows her control of lightweaving is only growing.
I swear Sanderson has a thing for secrets 😂 and Shallan clearly hasn't told anyone about the ghostbloods so they won't stop her. This should be interesting. Especially when they both find out eachother's secret. Shallan doesn't seem overly suspicious at this time but she did seem a little bit in her previous chapter.
Oh Pattern. Never change your innocence!
Wow. Another beautiful moment. So many good moments for art. I wish i could do more than a stick drawing haha. Its good to hear Shallan talk of the pleasure of living. Enjoying the moment.
Omds i totally had my friends do this to me. Its awful haha. I feel for Shallan, though usually, like Adolin, i am the trickster haha.
Out of nowhere!!! NOW he realises it haha. So matter of fact. It could be entirely grating but Sanderson uses it in an effective way to endear Pattern to the reader. That's part of what he's so good at.
I can see why some argue OB is bloated. Chapters like this could easily be cut. But i disagree. Its character building and i love it. The pace so far has been pitch perfect. Better than either SA books previously imo.
No mating!! Now i know where the memes come from! It's like the I am a stick one haha. I truly feel I'm becoming part of the fandom now lol. And shallan's embarassment is adorable.
Well good to know a report is done on this murder. I suspect Iali might have something to do with it.
Awww Adolin Kholin. You are so storming cute to do that for Shallan! And still feel inadequate compared to her. Awww.
Shallan you are very wise indeed. Nobody has perfect relationships. Nobody.
Haha. Can't believe Adolin hadn't heard that story yet. I keep wondering if Kabsal will show up again lol. Despite his poison, he was rather sweet. And had some fascinating insights.
Omds. NO MATING 😂😂😂
Dang it. I gotta read the report now! Lets hope its in the next 2 chapters lol. I'm very curious.
Ok honestly, this is just starting to repeat itself now. We already know its pretty much heretical!!
Oof. He's caught up with the Parshmen. And they're playing cards! Just what is their goal.
Hmm. I guess there are different races of Parshendi maybe.
Woah. They speak such good Alethi. But how?!
Aha. Here's the revelatory moment for Kal. Maybe they've been wrong all this time. But what are they doing here?
Was that a spren? But it wasn't an Odium spren. They're red. What the heck was it?!
Uh oh. Run Kaladin!
Wow. He gave himself up. This should be interesting. Boy am i glad this wasn't the third chapter haha. Sticking to 3 a day if i can. Which tbh is faster than my WoR pace!
Cool art. I'm assuming this is one of the dark tunnels Shallan was drawing.
Ok now I'm a little more intrigued. What exactly did Jasnah do and the price she is paying? But storms woman, get on with it!!!!!
Glad we're back with these two after the ending to the last chapter!
Oof playing with fire Adolin. Shallan is a woman on a mission. Don't seem so eager or you'll be caught out.
Ooh i hope that's a hint Adolin goes to Shadesmar at some point. Could be cool. I wonder if Adolin is nervous around Pattern because he knows pattern has a thing for lies and could figure him out.
Shallan, how could it be random chance? Two murders in the same area? Were they found the same day? I can't remember. Even so, you wouldn't really murder two people by accident almost.
There we go. She now sees the logic of why it cannot be random!
Well that was frustruatingly brief look at the report. Didn't tell us anything we didn't know really. Ah well, got a whole chapter to finish yet!
Eeek full on panic mode. Shows she isn't processing stuff well.
Aaaaand here comes the humour defense mechanism 😂
Ya know, I'd not considered where plate comes from. So many questions i don't have the brain space for them all haha. I assume if shardblades can be had by radiants, then plate must be available too somehow. No idea how yet. Lets RAFO that one!
Still hasn't got over his darkeyed prejudice quite yet uugh.
Aww Shallan. Nooooo. This is so heartbreaking and a very realistic portrayal of anxiety.
Ooh. That's interesting info. She could dismiss Pattern and another cryptic spren would come. But that would be awful for Pattern. I hope she doesn't take that option. In fact idk why the spren offer it tbh.
Another alter ego. Brightness Radiant. I'm not sure how i feel about this development. It doesn't seem too healthy for me. Hiding from the issue instead of facing it straight on. I'm betting this is gonna be a core conflict for Shallan in this book.
Oof she was kinda blunt. And a bigger bust haha. Well I'm sure Adolin won't care.
Ooh Zahel/Vasher. Wonder when he's gonna show back up again. I hope he meets sword Nimi and we find out what happened for him to part with it!
Yeahhhh that's weirdly formal with your betrothed Shallan🙄
Funny how Adolin isn't a radiant but has such understanding of how to treat the blades, and talks to his own.
Only a few thousand?!! That's a lot Adolin!
Well my friend Adolin, that's where you're wrong. Swords are alive! Everything has a soul mate. Read the Emperor's soul story😂. It is funny though how Adolin has had that sense his entire life. I'm sure at some point he was considered to bond. One of my big q is around the timing of the spren returning. Why not before?
Yeah its an interesting cultural difference between the Alethi and the Vedens. I wonder why it became that way?
Aww so cute. These two sharing eachother's passions. Sad that we didn't get some more of the ghostblood and murder investigations but character moments like these are important and to be treasured. Better this ending than a cliffhanger lol. An decent set of chapters. Mostly character development but we had the humour and the Kaladin cliffhanger to keep us going! A very good mix tbh. And the next chapter from first glance looks like my kinda thing! A lore and mystery chapter. Until tomorrow!
(LONG POST) One Piece: A (Mega) 'Theory of Everything' - Part 4: the 'True History' of One Piece, all along...
submitted by dannydankwood to OnePiece [link] [comments]
First and foremost, Spoilers will be in this post
for certain names, alluding to certain events, and referring to other things that are spoilers
if you are not caught up on the manga
). Unless you do not mind, or care, risking these, proceed at your own risk
If you're reading this, this is Part 4
, the conclusion
of a 4 Part
series! Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/OnePiece/comments/gecb0v/long_post_one_piece_a_mega_theory_of_everything/ Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/OnePiece/comments/gee15f/long_post_one_piece_a_mega_theory_of_everything/ Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/OnePiece/comments/gevwte/long_post_one_piece_a_mega_theory_of_everything/
This Part 4 will be the final 'Part'
, and will delve into the most esoteric
of my 'theories' so far: again, I do not attempt to claim
of these are the 'truth
', they are merely my thoughts, conclusions, and ideas from all that you've read so far!
OHARA – THE HOLY LAND OF ARCHAEOLOGY
The ‘Tree of Knowledge
’ that Ohara is built around is 5000 years old
, making it the oldest
surviving structure in the One Piece World. When it is raided by the Marines, they ‘found something that is probably a Poneglyph
’ in the basement
of the structure, the basement in which Robin spied
using her Devil Fruit Powers
, and it is via this
that she learned how to read the Poneglyphs
’ a Poneglyph
? By now, even the viewer
has come to be capable of immediately
identifying a Poneglyph
, and indeed, even within the open, observatory area of the Tree of Knowledge
, we see what DOES
look like a Poneglyph encased
in the wall, presumably for studying: what could the Marines have found in that basement
that allowed the Oharans to ‘decipher the Ancient Texts
The reason I specifically say ‘decipher the Ancient Texts
’ is because Professor Clover specifically
says to Robin that ’we are the first people in History to learn how to decipher the Ancient Texts’
. Once again, I think this is critically
was seemingly capable of ‘reading
’ the Poneglyphs
due to his being able to hear the ‘Voice of All Things’
, but perhaps like Ohara
has some sort of ‘Rosetta Stone
’ that has allowed them to decipher
the ‘Ancient Texts
’? When Robins mother, Nico Olvia
returns to the island, she says that she was travelling with a research team
that was attempting to decipher the Poneglyphs
: this is an extraordinarily dangerous
task, and all thirty-three of her crewmates
for this crime
In fact, when Professor Clover
rises to give his speech
to the ’Five Elder Stars
’ as he calls them, he tells Robin to leave for the evacuation ship
, because ’listening to what [he] is about to say is a crime
’, and that gives me chills every time
: One Piece is, above all else, a story about stories
, and Ohara
is very clearly the ‘Library of Alexandria
’ of the One Piece World
, like all good people, detests
the destruction of knowledge
when it is done ‘in the name of Justice
’, and this extends to the forbidding, hiding, and obfuscation
of ‘True History
’: the Ohara scholars are so dismayed
when the Buster Call begins, that they attempt to throw the books of the Great Library into the lake
, to save
them, filling it
with books in their frenzy, before the island succumbs
When Jaguar. D. Saul
is washed ashore, before he even notices Robin, he comments, ‘I wonder if she’s alright
’. Soon, via Spandine
, we learn that Nico Olvia
, but more than just ‘escape
’, she was aided
by someone on the inside
in fleeing Marine
captivity. Is Saul
the one who helped her
? More than that, I posit that perhaps Saul is a part of S.W.O.R.D
, and that Oda has had that in the works for a lot
longer than we expected
. Soon to arrive on the island are Kuzan
they became Admirals
, although they were both already considered ‘monsters
’, as Sakazuki and Borsalino
were both considered so before they enlisted together
. When Olvia
lands, we get the only
mention of her husband, when someone refers to her ‘husbands unfinished business
’. Now, the Ohara Incident
takes place about 20 years ago
, and it was slightly before
that when the ‘Pirate King
’, Gol. D. Roger was executed
, and it has been a long-time theory
that perhaps Olvia was his wife
: since then, we have learned that Roger had Ace
via Portgas. D. Rouge
, and it seems unlikely to me that Roger would have had two women
with which he had children. We know that her husband is dead
, and died six years before
the Ohara Incident
, so it may yet be possible to put those pieces together
What I continue
to get odd feelings
about is Kuzan
was the one to give Spandine
the permission to initiate a ‘Buster Call’ on Ohara
, and that strikes me as odd
. Was it simply a time before
Sengoku was as grey and empathetic
as he now is, or could it perhaps simply be that even though he already was, he knew
of the ‘True History
’, and as such, even he
believed that it would be better for Ohara to be wiped from the map
than for the ‘Ancient Weapons
’ to be revived
Robin surviving the incident, and although he is a good friend
, he is still forced to kill
the Giant, even as he helps Robin flee
Ohara (cough Newgate, Marineford cough
What further strikes me as ’coincidental
’ about all this, is when he breaks the Marine rules to visit
on their way to Water-7
, and where he ‘decides’ to kill Luffy and his crew rather than let that ’dangerous’
woman go free
, of course, tricks Kuzan
, by challenging him to a duel
, so that when Kuzan defeats
Luffy by freezing him
, their conflict
is essentially ‘over
’. I’ve always had a lot
of respect for Kuzan for honouring
’, when I know that Sakazuki
, for instance, would absolutely annihilate
the Strawhats afterward
In re-watching this scene, however, I truly don’t believe
that Kuzan was ever ‘trying’ to kill Robin
: he freezes her solid
, before literally telling
the Strawhats the only safe
way to keep her alive
, namely, by slowly
heating her up until she thaws out. “Unless
”, he says, “I do this
”, at which point he moves to ’smash
’ Robin, but Luffy grabs her in time
: it is at this point that he challenges Kuzan alone
. I truly have come to believe that instead of trying to kill
Robin then and there, he is instead testing the ‘Will’
, the resolve
of her Nakama
that she has finally found
, and comes to see she truly has found a crew who understands the meaning of ‘friendship’
Why, like Sengoku
before him, does he then give Spandam a golden den-den-mushi
, allowing him to summon a Buster Call
, and then tell him and CP9 that the Strawhats are on their way to Water-7
? This, again, seems absolutely unlike Kuzan
, although it could be argued that once again, as he knew the potential destruction she could initiate
as one who could read the Poneglyphs
, he simply left it ’up to fate’
, knowing that if Robin was meant to live
, then the Nakama
that she had come to love and rely on would be able to handle it
. In the end, it turns out that they do
, when they rescue Robin
from the very ’Gates of Hell
’ themselves. Kuzan
has gone on to, after leaving the Marines, join the Blackbeard Crew
, which at this point is something I think we all seriously doubt
he did without a hidden, second motive
. I believe, also, that Kuzan
is likely a part of S.W.O.R.D
, and that if he is not its creator, then Sengoku
very well might be
. Swaying both Garp
to see ’History
’ from the ’True’ side
, they both came to a different conclusion
did, in that they all remained in the Marines
, and fought for the ‘good
’ side from within the circumstances
that they had found themselves
THE ‘CELESTIAL DRAGONS’ – THE ‘SPOILED BRAT’ DESCENDANTS OF GOD
had allowed his five closest allies
to become the Five Elder Stars
, the visible, named faces
that the World Government
, and thus the Marines would report
to. Although the ’Five Elders’
have absolute command
over everything the Marines
might do, there exist the ’Celestial Dragons’
, the plethora of ’World Nobles
’ that also
seem able to give any command
, and break any Law
that they so desire within the World Government
These Celestial Dragons
, are the many
, insolent, rude, inhumane, hated, and inbred offspring of ‘God’ himself
, along with the twenty Kings
that originally formed his World Government
, and the Five Elders
who came to rule it for so long
beside him, of course had children of their own
: these children were the ’children of God’
, as they were descended from Im
’, the Man who came from the Stars
. As such, they consider themselves not even Human
, and do not even deign to breathe the same air as ‘commonfolk’
. Instead, they wear what look like bizarre space suits
, but are they really so bizarre
? I think they are simply the twisted, misremembered remnants
of the literal space-suits
worn by Im
, and others of his kind
, when they came down to ‘Earth’
. Although they are not needed to survive, like they were in the inter-planetary journey, they are basically
seen as such, in that the disgusting Celestial Dragons
behave as if breathing the ‘same air
’ as ‘commoners
’ is putrid
, with Mjosgard
the detestable ‘stench
’ of the Fishmen
when his own suit is first compromised
As well as this, they are born into absolute royalty
: they see the entire World
as their own ‘possession
’, and thus consider themselves free
any single being that they see
, and desire. If someone even touches
one of these ‘Dragons
’, then a Marine Admiral
is sent along with battleships
to absolutely annihilate
enough to have done so.
THE ‘GATES OF JUSTICE’ (HELL) – THE TARAI CURRENT, A PORTAL TO ‘HELL’?
Another of the massive
mysteries that most people seem no longer to attempt to explain or include in theory-crafting, are the absolutely monolithic ‘Gates of Justice’
that exist adjacent to Enies Lobby
, Impel Down
, and Navy Headquarters
, the old location of Marineford
The Gates of Justice
, absolutely dwarfing
the facilities which they border, and seem to be made of solid steel
. What possible hinges
could these doors reside on, and how do they open and close? They are clearly far too large
for any Human to open, and even someone like Kaido
might have to actually exert a lot of effort
these huge things. The three ‘Gates
’ are all adjacent to the ‘Tarai Current
’: a massive whirlpool
that continuously surges within the boundaries of the Gates. The Marines need not care for any Pirates
who make their way into
this current, because they will simply be unable to leave
, as the Marines will simply refuse to open the Gates
, thus leaving the Pirates no way of exiting. It is via
this current that the Marines are able to travel so quickly
between these three locations, as indeed, the Buster Call
on Enies Lobby arrives extremely timely
after it has been ‘called
states that to travel from Amazon Lily
to Impel Down
would take 7 days without
the current, and 4 days within it
. As such, it seems that one can travel three days
worth of distance in half an hour
from within the Tarai Current
I posit that this is how Shanks got to Marineford so fast
: he simply used the current that no other pirate should be able to use
. Whether this is due to his sheer strength
, some technique, the specifics of the functioning of their ship, or due to his relationship to the World Government
, are all still arguable. However, I will come to posit that Shanks is not a ‘Celestial Dragon
’, but instead is the one and only friend to ‘Im’
. As well as this, I truly believe that Shanks
is insanely strong
: he was perhaps able to deter Kaido
from attacking Newgate
, purely through merit of strength
alone. Elsewise, he is simply strong enough
that this was a fight that Kaido was not interested in
That aside, I think that the Tarai Current may
be some sort of massive quarry
, where the World Government has either mined
of, or is actually mining
a massive ‘Pyrobloin’ deposit
itself. This gigantic hole
in the Sea/Earth, combined with the tumultuous
way that the Sea is interacting with the exposed, reactive Pyrobloin
, is what causes the continuous ’whirlpool’-
that continuously runs around it. This is why
the ’Gates of Justice’
exist in the first place, because along with Enies Lobby
, the ‘origin of Justice
’ and the original birthplace
of the ‘Sunlight Tree Eve
is one of the best kept
and most important ‘secrets’ of the World Government
is their source of Seastone
, but perhaps that is due to the smithing
nature of the enslaved, isolated peoples there: perhaps Wano is not the only
source of Pyrobloin
, but is instead simply an additional
’ that they have had to fight to keep for centuries
, until they could meld and smith it themselves
This, in essence, makes the ’Gates of Justice
’ the ’Gates of Hell’
, and Luffy
is the first Pirate
to ever step as close into Enies Lobby
as he does, and these very Hell Gates
as he does
, and he does so
in order to wrench Robin
from the World Governments hands
, mere moments
before she would have been impossible
to ever save again
. Amazing, then, that this Monkey
is in fact the first person
to break INTO Impel Down
, after Shiki
was the first to break out
: he is the Dante
of the World
. Back to how these massive ‘Gates
’ open, I believe that the World Government
has enslaved ‘Sky Kings’
in the Tarai Current
, perhaps even the old, giant ’continent-puller
themselves, and perhaps the oldest
of these are
’ in a way. Of course, by this point, the speculation and arbitrarily created definitions might seem to be redundant, and somewhat shaky, but I am simply throwing the thousands
of darts that this theory creates at the monolithic
story that is ‘One Piece
’: perhaps ’Sky Kings’
’ are the ones that pull these giant ‘Gates’ open
on their hinges, for we see no visible
way that they should even be capable of ‘opening’
GOL. D. ROGER – THE ‘FALSE D’
’Inherited Will, the Tide of the Times, the Dreams of the People; as long as people continue to pursue the meaning of Freedom, these things will never cease to be!’ ’My treasure? You can have it all, but you’ll have to search the whole world to find it, I left it all in that place…One Piece
.’ Gol. D. Roger
. The man who found, and left, the One Piece
When ’he laughed
.’, however, I believe it was because he realized he couldn’t
You see, Roger learned of the ‘True History’, when he found ’Laugh Tale’
. What was there, was the ’truth
’, that had been attempted to be erased
, destroyed, burned, removed, and killed
for so many centuries
, but was as all things are
: maybe you’ll come to a different conclusion than me
He learned that Joy ‘Dream’ Boy
had wanted to be the freest man in the world
, just as he had
, and that his ‘Dream
’ had been strong enough
, and pure enough
, to produce the Will of the ‘D’
, and that everyone who possessed the ‘D
’ were the ’Enemies of God’
, in that they were stamped as the inheritors of the Man who proclaimed himself ‘God’
He learned that he was too early
, that ’Poseidon
’ and ’Uranus
’ were not Ancient Weapons
, they were not even weapons at all
: they were his old friends
, that travelled with him on this funny, travelling tale
, and that he would simply be 20 years too early
to even meet one of them, or to fulfill the ‘Will of the D
’ that he had inherited
. Well, that was just fine
: Roger had already got what he wanted
So they toasted, and disbanded
, with Roger satisfied with achieving his Dream
, and being stamped the ‘Pirate King
’, ‘Gold Roger
’ by the World Government
: WHAT A JOKE! Bahahaha
, how Im
is so petty, attempting to label Roger a mere ‘Pirate
’ as if it were an insult
, and to think that he could hide
of the ‘Will of the D
’ in such a way: the next
, true ‘D
’ that would come along, would not need to know a word of it
So, what was it
that Roger told Oden
that left him speechless
, and sent Newgate
into gouts of laughter? ’I’m going to turn myself in to the World Government, and when they kill me, start a new, Great Pirate Age!!!
Thus, with his death, Roger ensured
that Im believed that he had ‘won’
, and that the centuries
’ that he had endured to face his Straw-Hat wearing rival
. However, before disbanding his crew, Roger
talked to a weeping, non-understanding Shanks
, who asked him many questions
, and received many answers. I believe that Roger left his ‘Will’ to Shanks
, or rather that Shanks ’inherited his Will’
of now finding the true ‘D’ to come
. Shanks, growing stronger by the year as Rogers Will
continued to grow inside him
, eventually found Luffy
, ’betting his arm on the new age’
as he says to Newgate
, and leaving the Straw Hat to Luffy
, telling him to only return it
once he has ‘become a great Pirate
’. By Enies Lobby
, one could rightfully ask Why didn’t Im just kill Luffy, then, if he believed he might be the ‘real’ ‘true D’
? Well, by Marineford
, Luffy is barely making it out alive
, after witnessing Akainu kill his brother
and send him into shock
, while none other than Marshall. D. Teach
shows up to kill Whitebeard
and steal his fruit
. Which of these
, to Im, looks like the more likely candidate for the ’true D’ that he should be wary of
? Teach soars
through the Schichibukai rank, barely having it long enough before becoming a ‘Yonko’
, and thus, at the Reverie
, it is both Luffies and Teaches
wanted posters that he holds, and then slashes up
ENEL - THE NEXT GOD
Thus, Enel was born.
Surviving on his home Sky-Island
learned all about the 'True History'
, and he did not
take it well: he stole
the Lightning-Lightning Fruit
, one of the most powerful Fruit in existence
, perhaps being kept safe for the 'coming D
', and destroyed Birka completely
. He took his advanced knowledge
of mechanical engineering and electricity
, and perhaps he had the very plans for Pluton itself
, or at least the first
' that had come to Earth
, and fled to Skypiea
. Here, he enslaved the populace
, and forced them to make his 'Ark Maxim
', knowing above all else that he truly is 'God'
. He leaves our world for the 'Fairy Earth
', the home which he knows the Angels, Devils, and Humans of old used to inhabit many millennia ago
When he gets there, he finds the long abandoned City
beneath the craters on the Moon, and utilising his completely intentional
choice of Devil Fruit, he re-awakens
the City, using it to build a legion of automaton
, his army once again strong
Enel. Will. Return.
The cycle, will
THE ‘WANO WAR’ – THE RETURN OF XEBEC
Now, my ‘predictions
’ for Wano. Whoo boy
Sakazuki tells Fujitora
of a potential alliance
between Kaido and Linlin
, to which Fujitora breathlessly responds that its ‘like the return of Rocks
’. Does he mean the crew
, or Rocks. D. Xebec
moves to head to Wano, but Sakazuki stops him
, saying they need a better understanding of Wano’s military capability before making a move
Kaido specifically chose
Wano because, like with the Artificial Devil Fruit
, he knows a secret
that the World Government is desperate
to keep: the source
of the Seastone
’, or perhaps ’Fate
’ brought Linlin
there while the Strawhats and their company moved through their plan, and they allied
with each-other, knowing that with their combined
power (a power largely borrowed from Xebec
), they could be the King and Queen of the World
. Of course, people don’t change
, and they both
plan to screw over the other
by the time the plan is completed
The adventure of Momotaro
, the story that Momonosuke
seems to be highly
’, involves Momo
heading to the island of Onigashima
, in order to slay an Oni
, and along the way he has the help
of three creatures
: a Pheasant
, a Dog
, and a Monkey
, and Luffy
fit these quite well
, and are aiding him on his journey
. However, I propose that not only is the parallel twofold
, but that it is quite literally telling us
who is going to show up at Wano
, and Borsalino
will all come
will come after being ordered to
by the Five Elders
, something even Sakazuki
will not ignore
, in order to ensure
that their ’assets and interests
’ are not interfered with by the meddling of Pirates
be there, as CP0
has already been shown to be heavily involved
in the ensuring of Wano’s co-operation, with Orochi
being shown to be more than willing
to even trade with them
, in order to receive more Marne battleships
. Remember what happened when Teach
tried that with Sakazuki
? I mean, Lucci was effectively sold to the government by the very same
’ that Linlin
ended up at. Teach
, of course, will himself
show up, as a gathering of that much power
, and thus, powerful Devil Fruits
, will be something he cannot ignore
. Alongside him, thus, will be Kuzan
, under the apparent role of a Blackbeard Pirate crewmate
, but whom is really there not
to serve the interests of Marine
, but S.W.O.R.D
, the closest thing to in-between
we’ve seen so far
At some point, I believe that Shiki
might very well even show up: he failed
in his attempt to side with Roger, and since, has been laying in wait
for a few decades. He isn’t likely to be the ’lurking legend’
we are waiting for, as he is said to be introduced
in Wano, and will be the toughest thing
standing in the Strawhats way to date. Shiki
, and Linlin
, will ALL lose their ‘Haki’ taken from Xebec
, perhaps when Linlin
attempts to yank it out of them
it for herself
, and forcibly taking the ‘life debt’ that Kaido owes her
. At this point, the critical moment
of Xebec’s master plan
, so long in the making
, will come to fruition
will attempt to ’attract
’ all of this ’Soul
’, this massive
amount of raw Haki power
, and when he absorbs
all of this, he will no longer be able to resist Xebec’s Will
: taking over Teach’s body
, with it breaking
to more accurately
form its new Masters Will
, Xebec will have returned
THE NATURE OF ‘IM’ – WE HAVE ALREADY SEEN HIM
Now, I will conclude this series, for better or for worse, by positing the biggest
’ that this post arguably contains
, and many of you
, I imagine, will hate it
. Dracule Mihawk
, is Im
If you’ve made it this far, not only do I once again immensely
congratulate you on reading a short novel
, but I also honestly ask how the bloody hell have you tolerated me for so long
??? By this point, the claim that Mihawk is Im
will probably not even surprise you
, as long ago did I cross the boundary where a reasonable person
would absolutely dismiss me
as a raving lunatic
: however, if you have
made it this far, then it means you’ve either felt that thrill of excitement
that comes from reading such fantastical theory-crafting
, you’ve seen the ‘dots
’ I’ve attempted to ‘connect
’ and actually
think there ’might be something’
to all of this raving, or you’re just plain interested to see how deep my madness goes
Nevertheless, whichever it may be, I shall attempt
’ why I think that Mihawk being Im
might not only be the case
, but why it makes sense
within the ‘themes
’ of the One Piece story
, and why it might even make ’sense
’ within the facts
that we’ve seen within that story. Donquixote Doflamingo
informs us in Dressrosa, that the power of the secret technique
of the Ope-Ope no Mi
with the national treasure
of Mary Geoise
, will allow one to rule the World
. With the perpetual youth surgery
already performed on Im
, he would prepare himself as best he could
for the return
of his rival
: with Jewlrey’s power
, he would be de-aged
until he was but a young child
. As we’ve seen, the people that are affected by her power retain
all of their faculties, instincts
, knowledge, and for the large part, their capabilities
. Although he would appear as a young boy, Im
would still have the absolutely dominatable Haki strength
that he had previously.
Shortly before Rogers
had decided to do this once again, a sort of 8-century ‘sneak attack
’. This time, he would use a single
means of combat
, utilizing his entire strength into a single discipline
, in order to strengthen
that discipline to its highest potential
. I’ve already informed you how ‘Im
’ could, when written with certain characters, be translated as ‘Buddha
’, and this is because above all, Im considers himself ‘God
’. The opposite
’, therefore, would be ‘Mi
’, or ’Me
’: Im would take this name ’Me
’ largely for his own amusement, as well as to ‘walk amongst the Humans’ as simply ‘me’
. Over time, he incredibly quickly
earned a name for himself, rapidly becoming the ’Worlds Strongest Swordsman’
, and over time, his name changed
First he earned the nickname ‘Hawk
’, for his incredibly unique
eyes: these eyes are yellow
in the anime, but they are RED in the manga
, the same
colour and appearance of Im
. Due to these eyes, he came to be known as ’Hawk-Eyes’
, and ’Me-Hawk’
was eventually simply appropriated to ‘Mihawk
’. Finally, the Strongest Swordsman in the World
was known as Hawk-Eyes Mihawk
. Now, what about ’Dracule’
? Well, if we look at the most basic
assumption we can make from that name, it appears to be referring to Dracula
, who was the strongest vampire
. He had many
powers, which he is believed to have gained through deals with the Devil
, and has amassed ’cunning and wisdom’ through the Centuries
, leaving him ’unable to die by the mere passing of time
’. He has superhuman strength
, and agility
, as well as the ability to shapeshift
, and of course, his telepathic
control over his underlings
, and anyone else that he should choose to afflict
. He can, within limitations
, also teleport
at will, and travel rapidly in this way to places he can envision in his mind.
It is because of all of the above
that I believe ‘Mihawk
the name ‘Dracule
’: he has been the immortal, Ancient, powerful
’ that sits upon the Empty Throne
, ruling the World
from the shadows
, using obfuscation
, destruction of knowledge, and the forbidding of the learning of History
in order to maintain his influence
, and control
, and Justice
, over the entire Globe
: but there was one thing
that, with all of his power and capabilities
, he still could not achieve
, and that
, was the reading of the Poneglyphs
At Rogers execution
’ thought that he had won
Over time, he befriended
the ex-crewmate of Roger
, and dueled
with him repeatedly
, probably pushing Shanks strength even further
, and Shanks
was, in this way, the only ‘real’ friend that Im had the pleasure of knowing in almost eight Centuries
. He even brings Luffies wanted poster
to his old friend
, whom he refuses to duel
anymore, as there is ‘no point
’ in fighting a ‘cripple’
. He encounters them at the Baratie
, although Luffy is coincidentally not
wearing his ‘Straw Hat
’ at the time, and recognizes the fierce spirit
, a swordsman’s honour
that he has ‘not seen in a long time
’, which is a BIG compliment
. Why does he ‘help’ Luffy
? Well, because his nemesis is already defeated
, so as he says to Don Krieg
, he is simply ’killing time’
at this point.
By Enies Lobby
, as I’ve said, he is starting to get annoyed
: this ’Straw Hat’
is doing things that no Pirate
has done before
, and perhaps he was wrong
about the ’D’
that was Roger
…but, alas, by Marineford
, Luffy is crippled
and in need of rescue
, while Marshall. D. Teach
Newgate, and becoming the ’first’
person in History to have more than one Devil Fruit power
. If ANYONE
should be cause for concern, it seems Teach
is the one. Come Sabaody
, and Bartholomew Kuma
to none other than ’Mihawk’s abode
, a lonely island which is a complete metaphor
for life, and the stories in stories
: the Humandrills
to use weapons
from watching Men
, and wiped out
the Kingdom living there
, and later Mihawk
resides in the castle alone. Was it ’chance
’, or perhaps an experiment in increased intelligence, for the sole purpose of providing Im
an isolated, protected, and Kingly
reside…either way, Mihawk
eventually start to till the land,
and the Humandrills
again learn to live peacefully
. In fact, when Zoro asks Mihawk to train him, it is one of the only times
we ever see Mihawk laugh
, and I think it is because he is bemused
by the ’huge coincidence’
that would once again place Zoro
in front of him
, his own rival
, to be trained
by him. Of course, he accepts: he knows there is no real chance for Zoro to ever beat him
, everyone is shocked that Mihawk even shows up
: we’ve already learned from Doffy and Sengoku
that it is rare
for Mihawk to show up to even the Schichibukai meetings
. At this point, you might even ask why the Schichibukai exist at all
: using pirates
makes a lot of sense, especially with the Yonko
already stomping about
, and it is a perfect way
’ to not be pursued by his own Marine force
. When Mihawk leaps atop a barrier, Doffy asks him, ‘Oh? Are you actually going to fight?
’, but Mihawk replies that he merely ‘wants to test the level of difference, between that man and us
’, he wants to see
with his very own Hawk-Eyes
what Newgate is capable of
, before the man is done in
He is not weaker
than Newgate: he is stronger
. He uses an unnamed attack
, a flying slash
towards Newgate, and Newgate displays his power by trusting his children
to protect him
, and Jozu
, with immense effort
the attack, which slices through the frozen tidal wave
adjacent to them, earning the shock of many onlookers. Jozu has, with the Diamond-Diamond Fruit
, a specifically defence related Devil Power
, and still
only manages to deflect the attack
When Mihawk then decides to pursue Luffy, he apologises to ‘red hair’
, saying that he will not hold back
. He watches Luffy advance from ages away, his Observation Haki
on another level
, and moves to slash his arms: in this moment, Luffy uses ‘future-sight’
, stating that if he’d attacked, he would have lost his arms
, a swordsman worthy of being a Yonko commander
, moves to block
Mihawk, and as Im
, he cannot simply one-shot Vista
without attracting the immense attention
of those around him. What does Luffy do
? He has Jimbe throw him in front of the three admirals
, that fantastic moment we all love
, and from here on out, there is no good moment
for Mihawk to move in on Luffy
, and as the fight progresses, more and more he doesn’t even see Luffy as a real threat. By the time Shanks
shows up, ‘Mihawk
’ decides to leave, saying that fighting Red-Hair was ‘not part of the arrangement’
, or something to that effect: it is not that he is scared
of Shanks, he simply doesn’t want to fight him
. With that, the War is over
was able to visit the Five Elders
without being immediately targeted both because he is strong
enough to do so
, and also because he is somewhat protected
from them, as they know that he is Im’s friend
, and to kill him would be to attract the ire and wrath
of the World King himself
By the time that Xebec returns
at the end of the Wano War
, I think that Im
will be even more sure
the ‘true D
’ that he need fear, but that Teach
, or rather now Rocks. D. Xebec
, and was
, the one he need fear: the ’lurking legend’ had returned
, and the race for the One Piece, was now on
In summation, Luffy will win
he is part of a ‘prophecy
’ or a War
many hundreds of years
in the making, he doesn’t even know
that he’s a part of it
, and that
he is the only
one who can find ‘One Piece’
Because, you see, although I do believe that there will be a physical treasure
of some kind, that is not the ’One Piece
’ Roger spoke of: when Luffy has overcome the World Government
, when he has saved Kingdom
, has opened the borders of Wano
, and the Fishmen
, with the surface-World
that they can now call home
, when he has united every race, creed, Kingdom and peoples
, he will have found, One Peace
I really, really hope, god forbid that you actually
just read the entire word vomit above, that you enjoyed
your time reading it, whether you think any
of it could even be right
, or whether it’s a huge load of stinky poop
I had a lot of fun writing this
, and this theory has been weeks
in the making, festering
in the back of my mind uncontrollably until every facet
of the story was being twisted
to see if it fits.
Again, literally all
of this could be wrong
, and I would not mind
, as I had the time of my life
writing it, and I am immensely blessed and grateful for even a single person
having read and enjoyed this. If you didn’t
, leave a comment saying why, or don’t bother, and simply downvote
, because as I have said before, if I am right
, then I will feel immensely bad for even having ‘ruined
’ the experience for a single person
. I am so comforted
by the 99% certainty
that I have not ‘figured it out
’, and again, I don’t even believe that’s possible
, as the fantastic
, and beautiful
story that Oda has penned
is so immense
in its scope
, that I think it is
possible to theorize many
different explanations for ‘all the answers’
, without any
of them being ‘right
Looking forward to seeing where that Bodhisattva
takes the rest of this story
, it truly is, the greatest story ever told Love
, and have a great day, and stay safe
Hunter X Hunter Is it really a slow verse?
submitted by GONheeZy to CharacterRant [link] [comments]
Originally, I did not intend in making a post on this so earlier (it was supposed to feature MHA's underestimated power) however I believe this deserves its own separate topic. People often argue the verse is below "Mach 1" and where this is coming from is of course Netero's "supersonic fist" so I will address the faulty in this and Feats disprove of "subsonic" Hunter Hunter and why Feats > Statements apply over all.
Yes, Netero did in fact surpass the speed of sound...60 years ago. There are several things in-universe faster than sound and when a character is stated to surpass the speed of sound, sure its assumed they're "supersonic" however when you have a series which consistently perform "supersonic" feats and then a Top tier character is stated to be faster than sound, the statement might as well be vague. So, does Netero just now surpassing the speed of sound means everyone in Hunter Hunter are subsonic characters? No. Absolutely not.
Netero had surpassed the speed of sound with his NORMAL hands. Quote; "Normal Hands" and what I mean by this is Netero explicitly has faster moves than his normal hands
and by mere observation that should be clear. The entire premise of Netero's training was to surpass his own limitations without the use of Nen. As shown Netero does not break the sound barrier with any amps, or "abilities" this is was his speed 60 years ago before the creation of his "Prayers" or "Bodhisvatta" Now for whatever reason, put seem to not tell the difference between Netero's showcasing in both his combat capabilities. Now in the image show Netero breaking the sound barrier was with his normal hands, but at the time of the Palace Invasion we see him clearly using something much much different
and what does this appear to be? His prayers. Netero's prayers explicitly differ from his normal hands because they require much faster movement which he had trained to move faster than his normal hands
which were his fist
. The prayers require faster movement because he's performing actions several times within a short timeframe. Before I go any further the Netero we see breaking the sound barrier with his normal hands
is not Netero's Prime. Netero did not use Nen when breaking the sound barrier, it was his own base form of speed
. Netero at the time of his death was currently 110 years old, 60 years ago was when he broke the sound barrier, and at that time the formation of the Prayers and soon to be Bodhisvatta was not created at the time. The Netero we see breaking the sound barrier CANNOT be his Prime for several reasons because at the time of achieving his speed when younger, he was given the dojo. It is not until Netero gives up his Dojo to eventually find things to do on his own and more than likely the creation of Netero's prayers and Bodhisvatta came to be. And then we have people taking Netero "weaker than his prime" statement out of context. First of all, Netero said this before
he begin to meditate. Otherwise if Netero was still massively weaker than his Prime, why would he fight Meruem without reaching the absolute pinnacle of his prime he can by mediating? Do you expect Netero to just sit on his ass all day and stay out of shape then still be capable of stalling Meruem? That would make zero sense. Netero after meditating clearly wasn't "more than half his prime" - that statement was said by Pre-Meditation Netero, the one stating Pitou was stronger than him.
With that addressed, lets continue on Netero's set speed. As I explained up above, Netero's prayers clearly differ from his normal hands, what else is above Netero's prayers? His Bodhisvatta
. Netero's Bodhisvatta is Netero's fastest technique and stated by the narrator that its the only move which surpasses Meruem's speed
. So claiming Meruem was getting blitzed by "Supersonic attacks" is far from true, explicitly because Netero's Normal hands is not faster than his prayers and his prayers is not faster than his Bodhisvatta nor are they equal. Netero at the time of breaking the sound barrier has undoubtedly improved. Just stating that Netero broke the sound barrier so his top speed is supersonic and he never stopped training seems so baseless. If Netero truly felt like being "supersonic" (when you have consistent characters scaling above such speeds) he wouldn't have gone to the lengths of creating several other techniques which are faster than his Normal. Netero has shown that he has feats far faster than supersonic. For example, his best feat is being able attack less than 0.1 seconds
while falling as fast as the Dragon Dive which were kilometers in the sky
that Pitou's 2 kilometer En only touched the front of it. Netero is falling in-sync with the Dragon Dives after sending Pitou away
, which these shards were falling from 2,000+ meters in a timeframe of 0.96 seconds
because thats the amount of time which had passed and the first of Zeno's dragon's have reached the ground
( the ones closest to the exterior wall is where we see a few have hit the ground). They would be traveling at supersonic to hypersonic speeds and Netero is statuing these Shards in a timeframe of less than 0.1 seconds before they even fully passed him. Its impossible for Netero to even be considered "supersonic" when you have feats like that. After all, Netero and Meruem were exchanging blows thousands of times in a timeframe less than a minute while Meruem being pushed back several meters constantly. The amount they exchanged is vague along with its timeframe. However even lowballing the feat by saying Netero and Meruem only exchanged 1002 times and the timeframe they exchanged for was for 59 seconds, you'd still get hypersonic based on the fact Meruem was being pushed back several meters. And the numbers given isn't the likely interpretation, but just lowballed numbers. The fact is, claiming that Netero is supersonic and everyone below him is as bad as claiming that "Naruto characters couldn't outrun or dodge bullets" and Kishimoto does infact state this. I wanted to speak on Naruto for a while now in regards to its speed and how its often portrayed in VsBattle communities. On WWW, Naruto characters are often going against Hunter Hunter characters, and there will always
be that group of people who believe even Part 1 Characters would hilariously shit on Hunter Hunter top tiers, which I find unbelievably false but that's not what I'm arguing here, its the fact that people will downplay Hunter Hunter's speed and take Netero's supersonic statement to conclude that the verse is heavily below the speed of sound. And majority of the time its referenced in Naruto vs HxH threads, now I completely agree that the Naruto verse is a tier above HxH overall, but Naruto has its issues with speed too (which I have seen several post on) but I'm going to use Naruto as reference to reason with why using this logic for Hunter Hunter is absurd because believe or not, Togashi and Kishimoto are inconsistent ass fucking writers and have no real knowledge of how fast their characters are. Back on topic...
Lets take Zetsu's Lightning speed statement into value
since I think it personally gives us how fast Naruto characters had really gotten.
「落雷は千分の一秒。。。音よりも速い！」 "Lightning strikes in one thousandth of a second... [It's] even faster than Sound!"
In this panel Black Zetsu is explaining to White Zetsu why Sasuke's assessment that the Kirin is impossible to dodge is correct. First he gives some actual numbers for how fast lightning is, describing how quickly it can reach the ground. Then to put those numbers into context he states "It's even faster than sound!".
Here's the thing, originally people relied on a fan based translation that instead stated "It's hundreds of times faster than sound!", which while not wrong in the technical sense (lightning really is that much faster than sound) gives a very different meaning. The speed of sound is actually something that is very consistently an extreme upper limit in Naruto, something that is nearly impossible to bypass. All the way back in the Chunin Exam's it's described as "The Wall" which no amount of hard work can surpass. The character stating this is technically wrong, but when that wall is breached it's with extreme methods such as Rock Lee or Gai opening Five (out of Eight) Inner Gates. Or vastly chakra intensive jutsu being used to accelerate objects to incredible (often impossible to dodge) speed. Yeah sounds familiar right?
And Zetsu's original wording is in line with this. Lightning is "even faster than sound" he says. The same way that you or I might say that a projectile fired from a railgun is "even faster than a bullet!" when explaining why someone can't dodge it. Or saying that car is "even faster than a horse" when explaining why people can't outrun cars.
Now fifth gates guy and lee have explicitly shown that they can move faster than sound, only with the power of the gates
and no form prior to this. In the scene, its stated that "They're moving faster than sound!" in other words...they are only capable of breaching faster than sound feats with the use of gates evident in them only being stated to be faster than sound by that amp. Not in base stats, not in any gate other than the fifth, they do not perform supersonic movement. Not saying that they are borderline subsonic, I'm really not trying to argue Naruto's speed here (this needs its own post anyways, I plain on making something in correlation to 'What is Naruto's true speed?' because I have found some interesting stuff which makes Naruto's speed questionable...but anyways) the fact is, using Netero's statement in general is poorly misunderstood. It does not hold value if there are more consistent feats and when Netero himself is evidently above supersonic
. Otherwise the same can apply to several verses.
I don't have much to say in regards to this, however posts like mine have picked up on this
. The post goes in-depth of how Netero being supersonic is IMPOSSIBLE especially when its consistent with the series. So, why did Togashi decide to make it seem like being faster than sound impressive if other characters were already above such speeds?
Yeah, I question the same exact thing. However there are clear answers to it and it wasn't meant to be seen as "Holy shit, he broke the sound barrier so he's supersonic!" In fact, its the exact opposite.
Interpret how you want, but feats > statements most of the time. There are several reasons which debunk the fact this is true and thats by consistent feats. Evidence
For context: Killua would extend his aura 57 cms from his face to sense the bullet which was being shot at him due to him failing to sense the bullets specifically because he did not know where they came from
as the bullets are able to attack from Killua's blind spots which is shown here
and with the help of flutter they were able to attack from Killua's blind-spots which by Flutters own words allows him to see all angles from the opponent
meaning he can tell accordingly where Killua's blindsides would be enough for Ikalgo (the sniper) to do damage. So by extending his aura 57 cms from his face, it allowed him to sense where the bullet was coming from thus making him capable of reacting to these bullets "With Pure Speed and Superhuman reflexes" by the narrator meaning Killua in fact is faster than sound in reflexes and reactions
Even beforehand, we have Killua blatantly defending against an explosion point blank range
(also counts as a durability feat for Killua)
If thats not better enough, we have Killua explicitly being stated to handle Modern Military
. Considering the Republic of East Gorteau is based on modern dictatorships, you bet your goddamn ass the soldiers he fought weren't carrying sticks and spears, or anything short of semi-automatic weapons. He's not much hyperbolic when he means this
as its even said that the Military cannot handle him
I fail to see how a subsonic character could handle modern military weapons days upon days. Killua goes from atop a high treejump, snaps an ant a dozen meter's away neck and rips off his arms in milliseconds and is traveling past him before he can see a single thing, and it was so quick the other ant describes it as an instant
. He's already dozens of meters away in the treetops the immediate next moment which he did in the same timespan with which he snapped the Ants arms and necks. I fail to see how subsonic can be argued for the verse, specifically in combat.
The gun is roughly 4 cms ~ from his face. This is a legitimate reaction feat, yet somehow people argue
it isn't? Or its portrayed as Uvogin just opening his mouth beforehand despite there is zero indication of this being true and is perfectly consistent for Uvogin's later feats. Let's say that Uvogin is a brilliant genius and has his teeth set exactly, no more than a millimeter wider that the bullet, and he's able to predict EXACTLY where the guy is going to fire. Uvogin still has to react to that bullet traveling at 375 meters per second or so if the guy is 3 meters from his face (3 meters wasn't the actual distance but is just being used as reference) he has less than .01 second to register that gun has been fired. He also has to have his teeth close precisely with just enough force so that the bullet doesn't get chopped through, and close them no more than two millimeters in 0.0018 second-because the bullet travels its own length in that time-frame. In fact, he has less time than that. Uvogin would have to close his jaw, with perfect planning and precision. Considering the fact it was to showcase that Uvogin has insane reactions and insane durability, we see that Uvogin is often more reliant on his durability than actual reactions. Uvogin has been tagged by things much slower, and by definition would be an outlier...only if it wasn't in-character for him. Uvogin has explicitly shown that he can be caught offguard by things when not in-focus
. Even more incidents of this is where he's getting tagged by slower characters than his reactions
though he was not looking for this to be an anti-feat
. Most of his encounters (since well he only has two) we see that he can easily be caught off-guard
. Its not like the characters he was facing were entirely slow, Rabid Dog was able to process and defend "A Bullet" from Uvogin's mouth
and considering the fact Uvogin is capable of emitting sound waves which are enough to create shockwaves
from several meters, along with being able to even throw Rocks several meters that they move FTE to people
, its not a stretch to say Uvogin could throw/shoot projectiles at speeds similar to that of a Handgun.
Somehow this is regarded as aim-blocking? However we explicitly see that Kurapika doesn't swing his chains until after the bullet is fired and he is not spinning his chains around
, he's downright catching them one at a time. The 2011 version makes it seem like Kurapika is just spinning his chain around, making it seem like blatant aim-blocking. However the 1999 anime portrays this differently
which is equivalent to the managas interpretation. This requires eye coordination, and movements to act within that time. Kurapika is downright catching bullets.
He also dances around Uvogin casually
who's a casual bullet-timer. Not only that, Kurapika has been stated capable of performing feats in 0.2 seconds or less
by crossing an additional 20+ meters to capture Chrollo which delayed his reactions by a split second meaning Kurapika would have to act within that time, then race back to the car before anyone notices that Chrollo had disappeared. Yorknew has several overlooked speed feats, and I'm going to address some here.
One is how Chrollo is attacking in a milliseconds worth of time before any can notice the slight hint in movement of his arm, and a professional hunter was only capable of seeing a slight swift of his movements
. I have seen other downplay like the travel speed needing cars to reach destinations, but I mean
- The Phantom Troupe explicitly stay on the low time to time when not trying to get tailed. But on some occasions, they simply do not care.
- Them having poor travel speed doesn't mean that applies to their reactions, movements and combat speed in general.
Hell, Togashi has done things like this in the past. Anyone who probably debated Yu Yu Hakusho had to have come across Yusuke failing to outrun a goddamn truck
which can be clear Plot-Induced Stupidity or Yusuke just has poor travel speed which does not speak about his reactions.
Point is, the difference between Travel speed - reaction speed - combat speed - and movement speed has been made pretty clear within the Hunter verse. Its the reason why Netero isn't as fast as his Bodhisvatta because Meruem is capable of blitzing Netero several times despite the Bodhisattva being stated to be the only thing which exceeds Meruem's own movements.
Hisoka considers these bullets fast. And by the feats I demonstrated that these characters above are consistently bullet-timers. Hisoka infact scales to these bullet timers if not massively above and for him to consider the coins fast in general holds it to them being faster than bullets.
But I mean, they are confirmed to be nonetheless. And one may try and argue that "Its saying its more powerful
not faster" Bullets are fast because of its KE it produces when fired. It hits hard due to its speed, and the fact that Gotoh's coins were being stated to be more powerful would mean they would travel faster than at least the average bullet
because of its force. Hisoka also questions if he gotten used to Gotoh's attacks
or that they had gotten slower, meaning that he did consider them quite fast and was capable of reacting to the other faster bullet coin if he's able to make judgements of how fast or slow they had gotten.
Hisoka is even capable of defending against explosions from point blank range before it can entirely obliterate his body
, these explosions in fact do have large AOE which are potent enough to damage Hisoka. Hisoka does lose a leg, however this was due to him having had extended his leg as he was being rushed by several exploding puppets and it was within the explosions point-blank radius. Hisoka still defended in time before it took over his entire body which he defends against and we know that Hisoka didn't realize that the explosion had taken off his leg, which he was surprised by.
With those list of speed feats, I do not see how anyone can necessitate that the verse is subsonic by any means. Now, some people might bring up times where characters within that verse perform poor travel speed which means they're automatically subsonic, and one of them being Killua.
First of all, its stated that Killua divided Godspeed into two functions
. Speed of Lightning
allows Killua to use his body at superhuman speeds consistently
and Killua is not that slow when using Speed of Lightning. We are shown that Killua infact is capable of performing fast burst speeds
crossing several meters in a mere instant. And Here we see that Killua was already hundreds of meters away from where he started
and the motorcycle which catches up to him isn't slow either. Killua also had the supported weight of Alluka on him, which would slow him down more than usual. Now Killua's travel speed is still vague. First of all, Tsubones statement to Killua taking less than 10 minutes to cross a 40 km distance
isn't a way to scale Killua's speed.
- Killua makes the observation that Pallister is within 40 kilometers by the paved road. It was only after the fact that he jumped off the edge into the forest, taking different unpaved route, that Tsubone made the guess that he would make it in less than 10 minutes.
Its unreasonable to assume this is the time Killua took if he hadn't taken the roads 40 km distance. Killua had to travel through woods, which would mean the distance Killua traveled would be more than 40 km through woods because he never took the roads route. And the fact Killua took the road meant that it was a more lesser distance because Killua would have no reason to travel on road if we he was trying to shake off Tsubone. The woods would have been far more effective to lose them. Killua likely traveled more than 40 kilometer through woods, which makes sense for the fact the roads were a much faster route compared to the woods but that was shortly cut off.
Adding onto the fact Killua crossed an equivalent if not above distance to reach Gon and Pitou in 2-4 minutes, maybe even seconds depending on how you gather the timeframe. Point is, calculations which put Killua's travel speed
at 66 m/s awfully exaggerates what is being said. Killua's Godspeed in Speed of Lightning doesn't have Quantifiable travel
speed IMO. Whirlwind
Is quite literally actions which allowed Killua to perform Nigh-Instantaneous actions
. In which here he can respond to enemies aura intent thus automatically acting before the opponent can perform that action. Shown here
that Killua can act quite fast. Not much needs to be explained about the ability other than it sends electric signals to the body without the brain having to tell the body to do anything when its just automatic. How fast these electric signals travel is unknown and unquantifiable, however we know its able to act against very very fast characters.
Cheetu is also one. Apparently he has very slow travel speed compared to his reactions and burst speeds
, evident in him stated to clock over at 125 mph
. However the issue with this is Cheetu is explicitly not using his fastest speed. Cheetu time to time does not travel at his fullest speed, this is likely his jogging rather than full speed. Cheetu later, Cheetu is stated to have a speed of 200 mp/h. So how fast Cheetu really is? Cheetu has explicit set of speeds, running speeds
isn't comparable to that of his reactions/movement. In combat, he's capable of easily tagging both Morel and Knuckle who are superhuman characters several times before they even noticed basically going FTE to them and then appearing a few meters back to this original position
Now Cheetu infact does have fast burst speeds, which is known as a blitz
. Here we see that Cheetu is dashing at speeds which allow him to cross hundreds of meters in a short time
and no more than a few minutes later, we see that Cheetu is miles ahead from where Morel and Knuckle were.
Even before then, Cheetu has shown blitzing several people before noticing they lost their body parts while he appears several meters away
. (Adding onto the fact that Cheetu crossed NGL's border in a short amount of time which is a 2,000 kilometer country).
I believe Togashi really has lost a track of his characters speed, but not towards the point where being FTS is consider fast in the verse. We have statements that even reference Light-Speed movements
and for him to have his characters consistently perform hypersonic feats, like catching bullets from Point Blank range? I heavily doubt Togashi thinks that will still make his characters subsonic by now. Even more evident is the fact one of the prince downright performs bullet-timing feats
in the current arc. I do not know what else to say but, the verse isn't subsonic
by any means. Its fairly consistent and has no real outliers which can't be explained and reasoned with. But
eh, Sesame Street
still solos the verse. Pretty fodder if you ask me.
Effort post: Why hatchlings ARE a problem, and how to fix it without disrupting the rest of the game.
submitted by Fredfredbug4 to EscapefromTarkov [link] [comments]
Before anything else, it should be emphasized that the developers of the game agree that hatchlings are a problem. Nikata said the following in the 0.12 podcast:
The thing is, the initial problem of Hatchlings is that they are playing as not intended -- they just rush into some places and get [a] LedX or key or something valuable like hoses and screw nuts and they just die and disconnect. This is not cool at all and this is one kind of problem that I want to fix in the game.
Maybe you disagree with Nikita and think hatchlings are fine. Allow me to elaborate further, then. 1. Hatchlings are not playing the game the way it was intended to be played
Even if you ignore what Nikita said, it is still very clear that the game was not intended to be played this way. For one, the game is called Escape
from Tarkov, after all. Hatchlings are not necessarily trying to escape. While some indeed bring a backpack with them, the strategy that most hatchlings are doing does not require that. They simply rush the best loot, use the secure container
, die or disconnect and repeat. Streamers have shown themselves earning millions in less than an hour from this strategy. The game is not a foot race to the best gear. It's a military sim with survival and RPG elements. 2. Hatchlings hurt mid and late game progression for other players
After a certain point, simply collecting whatever you can get your hands on is not as profitable as prioritizing certain items and spawn locations during a raid. This is because as a player progresses through the game, the value of the items they bring into the raid is generally going to increase. The three ways mid and late game players make a profit (extract with more loot than the value of the gear they brought in) is by looting high value locations, killing other PMCs and taking their gear, and by killing raiders and bosses.
Hatchlings make this more difficult than intended in two respects. The first is obvious, they are more likely to get to the high value spawns than a geared player. Even if a hatchling and a geared PMC spawn equidistant and both instantly sprint to the loot, the hatchling will still make it there first because of the weight mechanic. The second problem is that hatchlings don't bring anything into the raid themselves. In fact, you're gauranteed to lose money by killing a hatchling
because the bullet will be worth more than the non-existent gear they have.
It's simple math, fewer PMC with gear, less potential profit. 3. Hatchlings make gameplay easier, and less interesting
PVP is one of the things that makes Escape from Tarkov interesting. Even if you are not attempting to PVP, the risk of encountering a player who is adds an element of excitement, tension, and even terror. Rival PMCs are supposed to be a threat, not just to your income but whether or not you make it out of the raid alive. However, every hatchling is one less PVP encounter. They aren't there to play with you. It's like if you're in a football match and the other team is just jogging around the field. Sure, it will be an easy win for you, but where is the challenge? Nobody would pay tickets to see a boxing match if one of the fighters just stood there. Nobody would bet on a horse race if most of the horses are just going to walk.
Even if a player is just trying to rat it up and hide from a more aggressive player like me, at least I still get the enjoyment out of hunting them down, or they get the enjoyment of getting away undetected. Hatchlings don't offer that. Hatchlings don't feel the thrill of life vs death in this game because the only thing they lose is matchmaking time. The Solution: Timed Secure Container
We need a solution to this problem that addresses the three elements above without drastically altering the actual intended gameplay. The prior solution of making hatchlings tagged and cursed was rather clever and entertaining, but soon savvy player groups used it to bait scavs into easy kill zones. Proposals involving changing AI behavior or increasing the amount on the map or in an area are likely just too unreliable to be an effective deterrent to hatchlings. Limiting what can be put inside a secure container would also adversely effect regular players so that isn't a desirable idea either.
This solution would be simple. For X minutes after spawning, players cannot put an item into their secure container, only take items out
. The exact timing can be tweaked as necessary. Different maps would also likely need different timers. This addresses the problem that hatchlings cause at every level.
First, hatchlings are required to play the game more closely as intended. Even if they make it to that graphics card, they still have to actually survive for a little bit before they can put it in their secure container. This would discourage the concept of the hatchling entirely, as they would likely decide to bring guns or armor to at least survive the first minutes necessary to make it out with their precious loot instead of just be a sitting duck.
Second, because hatchlings are more likely to, well, not be hatchlings anymore, you now have players bringing gear into the game that other players can profit from if they claim their life. Considering that the hatchling can't even put something in their container for a few minutes, they are at the very least bringing a vest or a backpack until then.
Third, even if someone still goes hatchling, at least the gameplay is made more exciting. If some hatchling needs to duck and weave, play stealthy, and avoid detection before they can die/disconnect with their valuables, at least they still have to play some of the game, and other players get to play with them.
The secondary benefit of the timer is that it does not really impede on a regular PMC's ability to play the game, as most of the time PMCs are trying to survive longer than five or ten minutes anyway. It might suck if you are a PMC who managed to get the valuable loot early on, only to die before you can get it into your container, but I do not think this is a big enough problem to impede the entire idea. If anything, it would encourage more tactical and strategic gameplay around high-value areas, instead of the mad rush in and out that it is now.
The timed secure container can also be modified. Perhaps the more gear you bring in, the shorter the timer on putting things into the secure container. This rewards players who bring more gear to the raid by allowing them to safely deposit valuables sooner than players bringing less gear (and thus taking less risk). For a player with 1 million rubles of gear, their secure container timer might only be 30 seconds. For a hatchling it might be 10 minutes or more. Another way to modify the timer is instead of having a single timer at the beginning of the round, the container can also enter a cooldown every time an item is put into it. This means that not everything can be put in at once, and it also has the added benefit of balancing the advantages of a container size a bit. I still think Battlestate Games should try a timer at the beginning first though. In Conclusion
Hatchlings are not playing the game the way it was meant to be played to the detriment of other players in the game. Not only do they grab the most valuable loot at zero risk to themselves, but they also harm the progression of more experienced players by depriving them of a potential source of PVP loot. In addition, they make the game less interesting by entering a raid as neither a threat nor an entertaining target. They are playing the game like it's an offline experience.
By adding some kind of timer to the secure container that prevents objects from being placed inside for the first few moments of the game, you will heavily discourage hatchling gameplay, and mitigate most of the negative consequences that it brings. EDIT: Another problem with Hatchlings: The Lack of Counterplay
There is currently no counter-play to hatchlings. Like I said in my OP, if you spawn equidistant from the loot, they will beat you there because they are faster, and killing them once you finally catch up won't make a difference because they already "won" the race to the loot. In practice, this effectively means that the only way to beat a hatchling is to spawn closer to the loot than them, which is completely up to RNG, which you can't play against.
What a secure container timer does is introduce counter-play. It's no longer about who had the better random spawn. It's about who can actually beat the other in fair competition. If the hatchling gets there before I do, then I have the chance to hunt him down and defeat him. If I get there before the hatchling...wait a minute...what is the hatchling supposed to do?
And this is where player behavior changes naturally. The hatchling has to ask himself "If I don't get to the loot first, I won't have a chance to get it unless I bring a weapon. So I'm going to bring a weapon just in case." Now the hatchling is participating in the gameplay and interacting with the other players, instead of running around irrespective to what the other players do. FAQ
Q: What about moslings, pistolings, and low budget runs?
A: Moslings and pistolings are not really a threat to gameplay in my opinion. While not very valuable for a mid or high level PMC to kill, low level PMCs can gain from fighting them. Moslings and pistolings also present an actual threat to the survival of other players, and need to be dealt with despite their low gear.
Q: I'm not good at the game, how am I supposed to afford things without hatchet runs?
A: If you are not skilled enough to survive with your gear, then it is probably better to get more comfortable with less expensive gear first. While filing cabinets don't have as much loot as a tech room does, you can still make some decent cash from selling duct tape, bolts, and screws, that is more than enough to fund your budget loadouts.
Q: What if I'm just trying to challenge myself by surviving naked or going from zero to hero?
A: Then these changes shouldn't affect you.
Q: How dare you tell me how to play the game?
A: How dare you make the experience worse for everyone that doesn't play like you? UPDATED FAQ:
Q: Can't hatchlings just hide until the timer runs out?
A: Hiding is not always as easy as it sounds, especially around the valuable loot areas. Instead of instantly disconnecting as soon as they get the valuable loot, they have to actually move away from the area. In doing so, they will often run into geared players that are sometimes less than a minute behind them.
Q: This won't 100% fix the problem, so why bother?
A: Anti-cheat doesn't 100% fix cheaters. Performance updates don't 100% fix performance issues. New servers don't 100% fix server load issues. There is never a 100% fix to anything. It's absolutely true that some hatchlings will still exist, however that's not the point. On maps like reserve or shoreline I often see 4+ hatchlings every match. One of my raids last night my buddies and I were almost certainly the only PMCs with gear in that entire raid. Even if there are still one or two hatchlings in every raid, that's still a massive improvement to the way it is now.
Q: Just lock the container for in-loot raid?
A: This would work, but it would also unfairly punish geared players and players just trying to get some quests done. The timer is meant to target hatchlings specifically without impeding the progress of other players as much as possible.
Q: Why not more AI?
A: AI is unpredictable and unreliable as a balancing measure. We've all seen scavs wander far away from their spawn and wind up somewhere you would never expect. That said, more AI + a timed container would probably fix the problem for good.
Q: Wouldn't this just discourage people from bringing in gear even more?
A: I don't think so. Most geared players intend on surviving longer than the timer would affect them. I also think that this is where the option of reducing the timer based on how much gear you bring would come into play.
Q: Wouldn't this slow down the game and make it a camp-fest for the first X minutes?
A: That's entirely a possibility. I'm not sure if slower paced gameplay is necessarily a bad thing for Tarkov though. If anything, there's already too much action in the beginning of the raid, with very little action as the raid goes on. Slowing down early raid action would mean a wider dispersion of action across the entire raid, rather than half of it happening in the first minutes.
Q: Isn't it "intended" gameplay subjective?
A: To some degree it is. However hatchlings are not actually playing the game. Please read the rest of the post before asking this question.
Q: Don't hatchling dogtags give you money?
A: Yes, I forgot about that. Oops. That said
, many players often ignore hatchling dog tags because they would rather not expose themselves for somebody they know doesn't have much worth taking. If I kill a hatchling from 100m away, I probably won't bother checking his body.
Q: Should't I be entitled to use the container I paid $150 for?!
A: First off, this isn't taking away your container. Secondly, you didn't pay $150 for it. You paid $45 for the game, plus whatever the value of a season pass, extra stash, and better trader reputation. The container is only a fraction of that cost. Finally, even if you did pay $150 for that container, it shouldn't be immune to balancing, lest the game be pay-to-win. All that extra stuff is a thank you gift for donating extra to the development of the game. Don't let it go to your head.
How to Read a UK Greyhound Race Card and Pick Out Winners! In the following article I will explain how to read a greyhound racing race card, followed by some advice to how you can take advantage of some of the information, and then a rundown on how to make a final decision. Here is a pretty standard greyhound race card for a runner at Belle Vue. So here we have Ebony Peaches, a regular at Betting rules: (How to bet, types of bets.) The main object of betting on greyhounds is to beat the 'Oddsmakers' or the 'Odds Compilers' and win some money. Additionally, placing a bet on your favorite event makes the race exciting and more enjoyable. While dog racing betting sites have set lines for the Iditarod Trail in the past, it hasn’t been consistently covered by oddsmakers. The most recent betting odds we could find for the race were from 2013. However, it’s worth keeping an eye out for sled dog race betting in the future, as this event is perfect for prop bets and live wagering. Betting To Win. This will be the easiest bet for me to explain. This is a straightforward bet where the dog you chose wins the race. For example, If you bet $10 on Dog X who has odds of 3.0, you will win $30. Betting Each Way On Dogs. An each way bet is essentially two bets on the same dog. The race is now a two dog race betting and as a result the chances of you winning has now increased. It would therefore be unrealistic for you to expect the 5/1 you received. Tattersalls Rule of Racing involves deducting an amount from any winnings. This deduction is determined by the price of the non-runner at the time the dog was withdrawn.