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Complete Information for Parents to Choose the Best Toys for Kids in 2020

Complete Information for Parents to Choose the Best Toys for Kids in 2020
Do you bear in mind how it modified into while you were an infant? What changed into your major hobby? Was it working? Of course not. Your major activity became playing. You had no concerns. You desired toys and your dad and mom in which supposed to provide you with them. They wanted to find out toys for kids and youngsters you wouldn't throw away and take into account me, it wasn't smooth for them.
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Now you are a discern and you're in the equal state of affairs as your dad and mom years ago. You're searching out the exceptional and best toys for kids that your toddler will like. That's why you must recognize how to pick out the proper toys. My parents made one commonplace mistake: they might buy me toys that they are taken into consideration wonderful. But usually, as soon as they may want to supply me the toy, I might either keep in mind it too girlish or too boring. It wasn't amusing for them to see how a toy they bought for me to play with might live forgotten in my closet.
How to discover what's the right toy for your toddler?
Just watch your little one cautiously to determine his desired activities, capabilities level, the desired band(s) and film(s), and so on. Based on the one observations you could get a clue on what styles of toys your little one should prefer. For instance, if your child loves the movie Lord of the Rings, I bet that he'll additionally like Lord of the Rings toys...
Now don't simply move into the first toy store and buy the primary Lord of the Rings toy you locate. Observations aren't enough. There are a few distinctive very essential elements you want to don't forget about. Adding them into the equation helps ensure you that your infant will have masses of amusing with the toy you'll choose to buy him. https://theshopswell.com/how-to-choose-the-best-toys-for-kids/
Here are the elements you have to don't forget even as deciding on toys to your toddler:
o Child's age - This is very important. If you purchase toys too advanced for your toddler's age, chances are that he would in all likelihood get injured. Toy manufacturers war to make their merchandise as stable as possible, but in case you don't follow their recommendations, your child may also suffer. On the opposite hand, if you purchase best toys for kids and youngsters with age beneath that of your infant, he will maintain in mind them too boring. The first-rate component is to choose out toys designed precisely in your child's age. Here are articles to help you pick out toys for babies and toys for toddlers.
O Child's gender - This is precisely what I stated above that my parents presented me toys that I have considered to be girlish. I'm a boy, but the same is for ladies too. Any detail that might make the toy look as for the alternative gender than that of your little one will make the toy undesired.
O Toys your infant's friends play with - When your little one is gambling with his buddies, watch to discover if he manifests an interest in any of his playmate's toys. If he does, then it's very possible that he would like to have a toy just like the one his buddy has.
O Sometimes, an infant tells his mother and father what toy he likes or wants, as an end result saving them from loads of hard work. But don't anticipate this. Some youngsters aren't very keen to speak with their mother and father besides they really want a certain toy.
O Safety - This is the most vital component you need to remember each time you want to decide what toy you should buy in your toddler. Unfortunately, this is additionally the most ignored one. Usually, the parents neglect to check if the toy they pick out for their youngsters is stable. O Is the toy educational? - It's a good element if the toys you select for your child can help him to grow new abilities.
And please don't neglect that the age distinction among you and your toddler is of at least 20 years. The truth that you desired a toy whilst you had been a little one does not mean that your infant will find it irresistible too. Children from specific generations like unique styles of toys
Make sure you offer the toy to your baby in a great manner!
When you provide the best toys for kids and children, don't do it in a "Here's your toy. Now circulate and play with it" manner. If you do it this way, that toy won't suggest an element to your little one. Rather, try to make a game. Hide the toy someplace wherein the child can easily discover it, and encourage him to look for it. Laugh with your toddler, search for it together... And whilst he finds the toy, don't honestly permit him to play via himself. Get concerned in your infant's play. Make that the snicker of a lifetime. A determined is a toddler's first and high-quality friend. TheShopsWell is a pleasing online keep in which you can discover brilliant toys and other topics to your youngsters. The Shopswell alternatives up the satisfactory products from the marketplace after studies to store people's time.
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[Project Cair] - Part 12 "Between Two Points"

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Previous Section - Part 11
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Baeshur Olgon, Deputy Administration Envoy to the Greater Galactic Executive Organization, or GGEO, wiped the sweat from his brow. It was a hot day on the Congressional Pad, their Administrative section of the broader Platform. He took the footpath from his house in the Congressional Cluster — the residences of high-ranking congressional personnel — bringing him along the edge of the Pad, beyond which stretched the beautiful vista of a beautiful blue-gray sky. Beneath them he could see the dizzying, dancing lines of vehicles as they zipped past each other in the air with impossible precision. It was sweltering, but a determined breeze provided some relief and Baeshur welcomed it’s cooling touch on his cheek. Altogether, the all-white surface of the Platform reflected so much light and heat he felt as though he were in a tanning bay.
The walk from his home to the offices which encircled the Administration Senate Building took exactly twenty-two minutes. For most of his colleagues, many of whom were neighbors in the Cluster, this walk proved too wearisome. They opted instead to drive their top-of-the-line vehicles to work, which dramatically decreased travel time. Baeshur wasn’t certain his colleagues were not all, on some level, judgmental of the fact he preferred walking. When asked about his commuting choices, he would respond that it was a great way to preserve an appreciation for the magnificent beauty of the Platform and also afforded health benefits as well. For most, this defense of his actions ostensibly sufficed. But others, careless in their expressions, betrayed a hint of condescension. Time wasted was productivity lost, improvements not made, and policies not implemented. This was the pervasive meritocratic mindset of the workers on the Congressional Pad. Baeshur could sense they were critical of his wasting thirty-eight or so minutes every day walking to and from work. Part of him believed they were right.
Even so, he continued to walk to work, though he did not know why. He told others when asked it was for the view and the cardio, but in reality he didn’t really care much about either. The view was the view, he saw it every day. From the time his parents first took him as an infant onto their balcony to this present moment, the view from the Platform was all he knew. It had its moments, sure, when the aurora borealis played along the edge of the horizon or when the thin clouds dissipated and one could see for a hundred miles across the face of Earth. But for the most part, it didn’t even make an impression on him of late. As far as the cardio, Baeshur had never needed help from a walking commute in that regard. He spent two hours every day in his home gymnasium, with the help of his Administration-provided personal trainer.
What then drove him to continue his morning routine despite the social consequences? However slight they may be. He wracked his brain but couldn’t tell. Besides, he didn’t have time for such idle meditations, not anymore. Not forty-eight hours before, Baeshur had received the call informing him of his appointment as the Deputy Administrative Envoy. Today would be his first official day in the new role.
His stomach knotted with a familiar mixture of anxiety and anticipation, and he debated whether or not he would need to vomit before he rounded the Gardens and came in sight of the Congressional offices. He decided no, he didn’t know whether or not there were cameras about, and he could expect a fair amount of press from Administration news outlets regarding his sudden promotion. He was prepared for such an encounter, having spent several hours rehearsing his statement in response to the Administration’s decision to appoint him over Gaithe Mora, the Citizens’ favorite to secure the position. Under his breath, he whispered it again:
First of all, let me say that thank you to the Administration officials who believed I was the right person to carry the concerns of Earth to the GGEO. I believe that now, more than ever, the collaboration between our planet and the other systems within the Executive Organization must remain a top priority of the Administration. I believe the Administration has demonstrated their understanding of this necessity by appointing myself as Deputy Envoy. Next, I want to thank Minister Mora, with whom I worked diligently for three years in the Administration Department of Foreign Affairs. She is a wonderful, intelligent woman, a personal hero and mentor of mine, and I wish her the best of luck, I know some wonderful appointment is awaiting her as well. Thank you, I must go begin my first day on the job…
Wait, does that make it sound like I wasn’t preparing these last two days?
Thank you, time to get to work!
As he recited the updated finale to his statement, he absentmindedly raised a fist. This motion was too publicly emphatic. Horrified, he resumed a sensible position as quick as he could. Surreptitiously, he attempted to see if anyone had observed the erratic movement. To his left there was a couple walking parallel to him. As he peeked, he saw them turn their heads away and chuckle to themselves. Brilliant, he thought, internally flagellating himself for the indiscretion.
He wiped the sweat from his brow again with his eggshell-white, silk kerchief. The heat was an obstacle he had not anticipated, being appointed in the middle of a brutal summer. His mind, which assiduously predicted potential pitfalls and contingencies, had not put together his walking commute, the increased press and profile, and the heat. Sweat ran down his chest, drenching his three-thousand-admit undershirt. It ran down the sides of his torso from his armpits, which were drenching great circles of their own in the shirt. The most infuriating part for Baeshur was the fact he could not do anything to admit it, let alone address it. People do not touch their sides in the course of daily action/interaction, so to do so in order to wipe the salty rivulets tracing his sides would appear out of place.
“These people, Administration officials, clerks, everyone, everyone on the Congressional Pad keeps ledgers on everyone else,” Min. Mora had once told him. “Your behavior, your actions, your novelty, your countenance, your professional accomplishments, your personal decision, all of these aspects are accounted for. Speak too long during a group conversation, points off your ledger. Behave too obsequiously toward superiors or too fraternally with subordinates, your value drops.”
But Baeshur had already understood this, implicitly. He believed everyone on the Platform, to one degree or another, was aware of this reality. From his childhood as the son of a distant heir to the off-world industrial empire, to schooling at the Institute, to his career in the Administration, he always understood the need to conduct oneself appropriately at all times. As such, he did nothing to address the growing discomfort of his excess sweating. Wiping sweat from anywhere but his brow and, only under extreme circumstances, his neck, simply wouldn’t do.
From his house, the route took him up from the suspended residential Cluster onto the main thoroughfare which led directly to the center of the Congressional Offices. Though ultimately one the route was one long bridge, it divided into several footpaths, each of which provided their own special view. The one he took today was the northmost path, about six feet wide, which abutted the edge of the Platform and, on the other side, a hedgewall cultivated in such a way that it produced a likeness of the Platform itself as seen from above.
But before the Gardens, which occupied four circles of real estate upon the Congressional Pad, the paths merged again into a twenty-five foot wide boardwalk. Rows of kiosks and small stores flanked the sides, from which merchants of every type — human, alien, and machine — hawked their Congressional Pad™ license tchotchkes and trinkets. They were all baubles one would only buy to commemorate a visit to such a historic world landmark, and provided no real value as items themselves.
Baeshur drank it in with a certain contempt. He understood people wanted to commemorate their events with mementos, but the fact these souvenirs were being manufactured and provided by offworld companies and people disturbed him. He would rather they let Earthlings sell other Earthlings totems of the Administration Platform District. After all, it was Earthlings, humans, who designed the buildings so many people came to admire. Humans coalesced into a planetary government, survived the Collapse of Nature, and migrated into the land in the sky. Offworlders didn’t do it, so they shouldn’t be the only ones to profit off of the tourism those efforts generated.
Of course, he made an exception for the gyro-making robot which occupied the last kiosk on his left. On Fridays, when it wasn’t too hot or too cold, he would stop after work on his way home and watch the many-armed metal being shave the lamb, toast the pita, and drizzle the tzatziki. That company, whose name did not appear on their kiosk, had perfected the art of gyros down to a science. Even the mutton, grown as tissue without the lamb itself, was identical each and every time he had it. It was this sort of replicable perfection that human advancement had brought them.
Baeshur’s stomach growled as he walked past the kiosk, but he knew he couldn’t stop to eat. Kiosk food was a guilty pleasure of Administration officials and their legions of staffers alike. But since his promotion, Baeshur was held to an entirely different standard. He was to refine his tastes to an appropriate degree, befitting his new station. What’s more, Administration Envoys — especially envoys to the GGEO — were expected to reflect human excellence in every capacity, including personal health and wellness. As such caloric intake, hydration levels, activity levels, and so on were all monitored in real time by a small device attached to his ankle. He would be expected to eat only what was prepared by his Administration-provided nutritionist application.
Though he understood the need to maintain both physical and occupational excellence, the recent change had his stomach yearning for the savory forbidden gyros.
He was delivered from temptation by the approach of his assistant, Brecht.
“Brecht, I have said twice now to join me as I pass the Gardens,” Baeshur chided. Brecht, a tall, slender cluster of neuroses, sighed at his own misbehavior.
“I apologize, Deputy Envoy. It was my mistake and I assure you it won’t happen again,” he sputtered.
Baeshur grabbed him by the arm and, perhaps demonstrating too much affection, walked with home toward the Congressional Offices.
“What does my morning look like?” asked Baeshur.
“Tardy…?” Brecht replied, obviously confused.
“What?”
“The Envoy Group was supposed to meet with Ministers Thrael and Forsum and the Senior Vice Administrator this morning. They began fifteen minutes ago.”
Baeshur nearly fainted then and there. But, holding onto Brecht, he regained himself, after which rage filled him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he shouted.
“Sir, I left two voice messages and set a pop-up in your cruiser for this morning. Your house was on ‘Do Not Disturb’,” the thin assistant answered.
“I. Don’t. Drive.” Baeshur responded, gesturing around at the path on which they were walking. Brecht hit his forehead with his palm, in perhaps an over rehearsed expression of contrition.
Even so, Brecht was right, Baeshur should have known about the meeting. He had left his house on Do Not Disturb. He had wanted time without distraction to prepare for his first official day on the job.
“Oh no,” Baeshur exclaimed, running a hand through his thick hair. “Should we run? No. No, that would look desperate.”
“We’re fifteen minutes late already, with four-and-a-half minutes left before we get to the Offices. Another three for you to change.”
“There’s no time.”
“Sir, I must caution against attending the meeting with your current levels of perspiration,” Brecht added, wincing. He prided himself on being able to advise his superiors in the best way, even if it meant pointing out personal deficiencies.
“Alright, alright,” Baeshur said dismissively, desiring to move past the acknowledgement of his sweat. Though, for a moment, he looked at Brecht and noticed the assistant had not one drop of sweat on him despite wearing darker clothes. Bastard.
“How do we proceed?” Brecht asked. Baeshur mulled it over for a moment.
“We’ll walk, but not too fast. Like this,” he answered, putting one foot in front of the other at a hurried pace, but without breaking into a run. “Come on!”
Brecht hurried after him, maintaining the appropriately servile distance behind his superior.
All told, the brisk walk to his office, the change of clothes, and the walk to the Envoy Group meeting took eleven and a half minutes. He arrived twenty-six and a half minutes late. As he wound his way through the traditional-style interior of the Offices, he twice blew past reporters seeking a statement about his new appointment. Finally, he ascended the stairs which rose beneath a massive crystal mobile of the galaxy, which sparkled in the warm light.
At the top, he spotted a private conversation between Min. Thrael and the Senior Vice Minister. The latter was looking in the distance and nodding as the former spoke close to his ear. Baeshur feared the meeting had already concluded. It would be an embarrassing incident, to be late on his first day, but chances were the Administration would not fire him. To do so would reflect poorly on their judgment to appoint him, and, as it was a purely internal situation, the Citizenry did not have any knowledge of it. Still, this calculation did nothing to calm Baeshur’s nerves, and he could feel the first drop of sweat as it rolled from his armpit down his side.
“Ah, so how did you get notified of the cancellation?” bellowed the massive Senior Vice Minister, addressing the approaching Baeshur.
Baeshur’s mind froze at the question. The cancellation? He racked his brain for something, anything, to avoid prolonging the silence into awkwardness. His face took on the aspect of surprised indignance.
“They didn’t inform you?” Baeshur asked, raising his eyebrows. His tone conveyed that his primary concern was the insolence of whomever was tasked with delivering the message, and not that he was unduly privileged with this information. Baeshur smiled inwardly, there was not even a hint of superiority in his voice. “I’m sure you’ve already made the appropriate inquiries into who was responsible for relaying that information.”
“Indeed, well at any rate I’m glad one of us was spared the waste of time,” the Senior Vice Administrator stated flatly. He looked in Baeshur’s eyes only rarely, and each time he looked away again quickly, as though looking at subordinates too long would dull the mind.
“Congratulations on your appointment, Deputy Envoy,” the superior concluded. “Minister Thrael.” He added to his interlocutor. With those words he continued on his way, with a stride that effortlessly combined both purpose and ease. Min. Thrael had returned a deferential nod to the Senior Vice Administrator’s valediction, and now turned himself toward the new Deputy Envoy.
“I must also extend a congratulations on the appointment,” Min. Thrael began, taking slow steps toward Baeshur. “And might I add it was well-deserved.”
Baeshur smiled, but kept it restrained. Exuberance was not appropriate, but polite gratitude hit the mark.
“Minister Thrael, you’re too kind,” he replied.
“I was hoping, Deputy Envoy, you might join me for a walking conversation. The meeting was cancelled, but I see no reason why a new Administration Official and an old Minister can’t get to know one another and discuss the pressing matters of the day.” Min. Thrael said this with a neutrality so well honed it became uncanny.
Baeshur tried to read his expression, but couldn’t tell anything from it. These people are masters. I’m swimming with the big fish now. It was obvious the Minister was testing him. It was Baeshur’s first official day in office, and Thrael had asked him to devote a non-trivial portion of his morning to an impromptu meeting. It was quite possible that acceptance would demonstrate a lack of preparation, that Baeshur was not the type of character to seize his first day with both hands and have wall to wall actions scheduled.
On the other hand, the Minister could be testing his obedience to informal authority. Though Min. Thrael held no official position above his within the Administration hierarchy — Ministry for Extragalactic Affairs and the Envoy Groups belonging to different departments — the senior experience and social position of Min. Thrael, in particular, was to be respected in all events. The Minister could be testing his sensitivity to these invisible rules which did — and must — shape the intra-Administration bureaucracy.
“For you, Minister, of course. Though I have an engagement with Minister Corri in an hour,” Baeshur replied, hoping to strike the appropriate balance.
“Excellent,” Min. Thrael replied, smiling his impressively neutral smile. “Perhaps we should move to a more private location?”
“Of course.”
And so they walked off, Baeshur remaining a half-step behind the Minister. The former understood their route. It was a footpath which led outside of the Congressional Offices, and onto the covered balcony which encircled the Great Dome, providing a centralized and 360-degree view of the Congressional Pad. It had the added benefit of being completely free from listening devices, or perceptual technology of any sort. Administration officials would often take a walk on the balcony path when sensitive matters needed discussing.
As they reached the balcony proper and felt the warmth of sunlight-through-glass on their skin, the Minister turned to Baeshur.
“Do you read social media?” Min. Thrael asked, flattening his tie.
“Only as it pertains to my new position,” Baeshur replied, waving his hand dismissively. The Minister looked ahead, nodding. “Why do you ask?” Baeshur followed.
“I ask because I do read social media,” Min. Thrael replied. A silence followed, a silence as disturbingly indecipherable as the Minister’s face. Baeshur wracked his brain for the reason his companion would ask such a question, and provide such an answer to his own. What’s more, all the while Baeshur couldn’t help but feel as though Min. Thrael was being deliberately cryptic, like the Minister enjoyed speaking nonsense and watching him squirm.
“I hesitate to admit this publicly, but I find social media to be one of the most fascinating of subjects. Of what you’ve encountered, has any of it stimulated any thought?” Min. Thrael went on.
What is he asking?
“Most of what I’ve read or seen has come from curated selections provided in support of some observation of public opinion. I’ve not engaged with it on other levels.”
“Of course, of course. Well, if you don’t mind, I’d love to share what I find so fascinating about it. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with anthropological epistemology, but from that perspective, it is a fascinating platform for human interaction. For hundreds of years, and I’m speaking now from the anthropological epistemological perspective, humans have interacted mostly through the internet and social media. There was a great schism at the turn of the millenia, of which, I’m sure, you’re aware, which separated historically ‘objective’ media from social media. Informational sources and factual credibility were spread among the people, in a great democratization of intellectual/factual esteem.”
The Minister moved his hands as he walked and talked. He moved with such great speed, through such a volume of information, that Baeshur struggled to capture it all in mind. It was unwieldy, yet the Minister continued.
“So there it was, when the great curtain was pulled and everyone realized everyone else had a motive for their truth, and where the attractiveness, or persuasiveness if you prefer, of competing truths was determined by an entirely new metric. Do you know what that metric was?”
Baeshur, hoping to remain in the Minister’s good graces by being honest and abandoning all hope of comprehension, replied truthfully.
“No, Minister.”
“It was stimulation. That’s it. Did it tickle something? Did it scratch you? Did it wound? Did it bring joy? If yes, then it was true.”
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but how can a society function when everyone believes whatever is most entertaining?” Baeshur inquired sincerely.
“Exactly! How can it function under such conditions? Society, rendered into an epistemic slop that’s fed back to itself. ‘What’s going on in the world? How did we get here? Did X event actually happen, or was it a psyop?’ Ask any of these questions to a hundred Citizens and a hundred 03F and you’ll get a different answer from everyone. Yet, here we stand. Upon the greatest architectural achievement in the history of mankind. Right now we’re several thousand meters in the air, suspended above the surface only with the technology derived from the contents of our own minds. How is all of this possible under such conditions?”
Baeshur frowned, he had never thought of this before. He wasn’t disposed toward philosophy, and did not pay much attention during his classes for it in University. That being said, the Minister had explained himself well enough that Baeshur could begin to feel the edges of his meaning. What vexed him now was whether the Minister had posed his final question rhetorically or sincerely. He gambled it was rhetorical.
“It appears you’ve thought about this at length,” Baeshur observed.
“Perhaps we’re not asking the right question,” Min. Thrael continued.
The question knocked Baeshur off balance for a moment, until he realized the Minister was referencing his previous question. Even after Baeshur realized this, he still didn’t understand why the Minister would take the time to talk about such a thing with him, specifically. What is he really saying here? It was all so maddening to Baeshur. Couldn’t the man just out with it? Was he simply continuing to prod his subordinate, just to see what he would do?
“Perhaps we should ask ‘Could all of this be possible without such conditions?’” the Minister turned to Baeshur at this moment, eyes boring into him with a fiery scrutiny. It was obvious Baeshur’s response to this was critical. And, as it was the first time the Minister had allowed his countenance to shift from perfect ambiguity, it terrified Baeshur all the more.
“Minister Thrael, with all due respect, I am not familiar enough with the relevant literature to make a judgment one way or another. If you would like to resume this discussion after I’ve had some time to educate myself, I would be delighted to,” Baeshur responded, continuing to bet on the social virtues of honesty.
The Minister looked deep into Baeshur’s eyes, and the latter felt hopelessly naked before him. Thrael seemed to drink him in, extracting every corner of Baeshur’s being with his eyes.
This all lasted only a few moments, just enough for the silence to become hot. Then the Minister sighed emphatically and waved the thought away.
“You must forgive the musings of an old man,” he began, smiling again. But there was a flash of deep significance again as he solemnly added, “Though I do wonder.”
Yet after another moment, his face returned again to it’s pleasant, open neutrality.
“At any rate, I’ve come to discuss a matter of deep importance with respect to the relations between the Administration and the GGEO,” Min. Thrael stated.
“Of course,” Baeshur added. His mind was momentarily on autopilot; he was still in awe of the display he just witnessed. He turned it on and off in a split second.
“Good, I’m glad you’ve got time to discuss it with a Minister. I want your thoughts on a prickly matter. The delegation from Frepta’au Luuc has requested GGEO military aid to help with their system’s growing problem of piracy and smuggling. That corner of the Universe is coming undone quickly, and decisive action needs to be taken.”
Baeshur was nodding along, carefully stowing each word away in his mind. When it came to work matters, he always gave it every ounce of mental effort.
“However, the GGEO Commerce Security Division (CSD) is reluctant about deploying ships to the area. Why, that’s anyone’s guess. But, the problem has grown to such an extent that it constitutes an economic, planet-wide security threat. As such, we need to dedicate energy and resources into convincing the CSD to deploying ships there to stabilize trade routes and retake the Surface Station.”
“The delegation wants CSD troops to retake it’s Surface Station?” Baeshur asked incredulously. The people of Frepta’au Luuc were notoriously resistant to any outside military presence on their planet.
“No, but they don’t have any other option. Intelligence reports the station was overtaken by some sort of Unzer uprising,” Thrael responded. Baeshur raised his eyebrows.
“I know. Reports say it was a bloodbath. Apparently, they’re resuming commerce as usual, but they’ve changed the rules which bar smugglers and pirates from landing there.”
“I had no idea.”
“You’ve not had your first GGEO intelligence briefing yet. It’s understandable.” The Minister stopped walking for a moment and held Baeshur’s arm.
“Can I count on your support to push the GGEO to stabilize the region?” Min. Thrael asked.
Baeshur wanted to handle it diplomatically. Under normal circumstances he would never agree to a new and significant course of action based solely on the word of a Minister, but this was Minister Thrael. Additionally, Baeshur could always rescind his support if new information came to light.
“Of course, Minister. The first meeting with the GGEO Senate Delegation Committee, they will hear my push for greater intervention.”
“Excellent, excellent. Well, I’m pleased to hear it, Deputy Envoy. I knew when the Administration appointed you we would finally have someone who would stand up to ensure Planetary interests are secured all across the galaxy. And, of course, I needn’t say this little conversation stays between us. Good day,” he concluded abruptly, before turning on his heel and walking away.
Baeshur stood, alone on the great, covered balcony, unable to process what he had just encountered. Thrael had seemed to be in a rush to get him to agree to push for CSD in the region, but he must have known Baeshur would double-check all of his claims before ever making a move. Perhaps it was true that piracy and smuggling were presenting large headaches for Planetary corporations and the Citizens. Why was it a secret then?
“How was your meeting with Minister Thrael?” came Brecht’s voice from behind.
Baeshur nearly jumped out of his shoes in surprise. His assistant was standing there, big dumb eyes eager to hear about the rendezvous. To Brecht, Baeshur looked as though he had walked off with Minister Thrael only to be shaken violently by him for thirty minutes.
“Don’t do that! Don’t lurk,” Baeshur snapped.
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Deathbound XXXIII - The Last Chamber

Alright. My website is done. I had some newfound issues with how html was being copied and deleted by the switch between day and night mode. So I just decided to just remove the option and the website is now just permanently in dark mode. Hah!
Anyway, while the website is done, I haven't put the archive on it yet. So... yeah. I'll do that slowly over the coming weeks/months.
Now, the main reason I wanted a new website was to put chapters in that are too long (reddit's max is 40k characters). And then I thought, whew, awesome. I can write chapters that are super long now without fiddling with reddit's limit. And then I accidentally wrote a chapter that was so long that it was more than double of reddit's limit. So, I've decided to chop that chapter in two. So if you think it ends slightly abruptly, it's because of that.
Anyway, here is part one. Also, keep reading at the end, I've added a little contest at the end!
First
Previous
 
 
G.O.D. Sam Robinson – The Valkyrie – Dimensional Plane of Pandaemonium – Final Testing Room, God’s Doom – 5 Years and 70 days since the Infernal invasion of Earth
 
Sam raised up her suit’s barrier and looked around. The dome was still bare and empty except for the rapidly growing blob in the air. As it reached a humanoid size, it dropped to the floor, and rose as an almost formless hulk. Slowly it stretched out parts of itself, as smaller blobs, that then rapidly slimmed down to turn into a muscular limb. Sam watched as more parts of itself seemed to reconstitute itself into a muscular leg, and another arm, then abdomen. It was definitely a woman. A hot one too.
“Oh, not bad.” Sam said as the head appeared, and she could see a grey-like version of a humanoid appearing. Then she took on more muscle tone, and Sam’s own facial features. Her mirror version looked at her with a cocked head and seemed to take in every bit of detail. It took on colour and grinned. “No wait, this is bad.” Sam replied as she stared at her own mirror.
Then it started to stretch and feel out its muscles and looked at its hands opening and closing. Then it looked back at Sam. “This is getting surreal.” Sam said just as her mirror version started to sprint towards her. As it neared Sam, it jumped up and landed with a fist into the barrier, barely making an impact.
“Aaargh!” The mirror Sam shouted out and winced in pain and ran back away again. “Raagh!” It seemed to want to curse but didn’t really know words.
“Shit, what? What do I do? I, uh, it, eh, she seems harmless. But what the fuck does ‘leave as one’ mean? You don’t want me to eat it, right?” Sam asked out loud.
“Shit!” Mirror Sam shouted as she pointed at Sam. Then she laughed. “Haha! Shit! Hahahaha!”
“If this is an unsubtle joke at my expense, I’m not laughing.” Sam said as she kept trying to think on what to do. She didn’t want to fight it, that was going to be a hard fight, especially if it had the same magical powers she had. But then, it only seemed able to do what she was capable of, without a suit. So, Sam realized she wasn’t in a lot of trouble. Then she saw mirror Sam stand completely still as she turned back into a blob again, grew in size, and materialized into Sam with her suit on.
“Ah, fuck.”
“Fuck! Hahaha! Shit fuck!”
“Goddamnit.”
“Goddamnit? Shit fuck! Fuck Goddamnit! Hahaha!”
“Craaaap. What do I do? Do I absorb it like Ebruziel?” Sam asked out loud.
“Craaaap!” Mirror Sam shouted then looked confused. She shook her head. “Mmmh. Crap. Crap!” She cursed and then beamed with pleasure.
”What are you waiting for? Just fight your mirror!”
“No, that’s a bad fucking idea - ” Sam answered as she jumped away, dodging a kick from the mirror.
“ – Fucking! Haha!”
“She’s adapting to what I’m doing, don’t you fucking see!?” Sam shouted at Ebruziel. “She didn’t have the suit before, and now she does, but she doesn’t have her barrier up. I want to bet she does soon though.”
As if on cue, the mirror Sam put up her barrier, though from her behavior it was clear she wasn’t doing it like Sam did, which was through the suit’s internal controls. Instead she just seemed to observe Sam’s appearance and modeled herself after that.
“She’s also not talking properly, and most importantly, the tests were all deceitful or at least had some hidden kind of motive. Come on man, think with me here!” Sam shouted at Ebruziel.
”I admit, that makes sense. And I guess that I understand your hesitation at following the Ancient One’s commands. But are you sure there is a hidden meaning in ‘leave as one’?” Ebruziel asked as Sam jumped away again to dodge another flying kick.
“There are a lot of ways you can interpret that!” Sam shouted as she deflected an incoming fist with her left arm and followed it up with a grip on the wrist to then clunkily kick mirror Sam in the sides.
“Aaaah! Crap!” Mirror Sam shouted as she fell to the ground.
“Bad me! Bad! Stop that!” Sam shouted as an extra measure.
“Raaagh!” Mirror Sam shouted as she started to punch wildly towards Sam who let her barrier take the blows.
”You’re right that it might not be seen as ‘kill each other’, but your doppelganger is clearly being aggressive. Do you have another choice? The Ancient One did say that failure was not an option.”
“Well, I was wondering about absorbing it somehow, taking the order literally, but I have no idea on how to do that.” Sam said as she waited for an opening in the mirror’s clumsy and strangely untrained movements. The moment she saw one, she grabbed onto one of the arms and pivoted, and launched the mirror Sam backward with a judo throw from the hips.
Mirror Sam’s suit clanged heavily onto the floor and she immediately groaned and flailed about like an angry child. “Raagh!” Mirror Sam then stood up and stood almost frozen, looking at Sam and taking in everything once again. Then she raised up her arms.
“Incoming!” Sam shouted in an automatic response as her training kicked in. No cover, so she put energy into her legs and barrier and ran full sprint in a circling line around mirror Sam. The electric buzzing sounds of magnetic firing mechanisms and batteries discharging energy got awfully loud and a moment later laser shots and railgun fire erupted.
“Fuck you, bitch!” Mirror Sam shouted as dozens of shots hit Sam’s barrier.
Sam took aim at known weaker points on the arm joints instead of all over the barrier. She had her firing solutions pre-calculated and changed her trajectory, causing mirror Sam to suddenly miss her shots. Sam used this moment to drop her barrier and fire her railgun and laser at maximum power. The same buzzing noises preceded two heavy bangs, followed immediately by a loud and pained shriek.
Sam used her boosters to quickly close the distance, used her magic to empower her fist and slammed it hard into the damaged part of the suit, crushing both the mirror’s elbow as well as Sam’s own suit from the impact. Sam looked at her own mirror’s pained expression and gritted through it. Then slammed her fist into the broken elbow again. “AAARGH!”
Sam grabbed the loosened piece of suit and janked on it hard, using her boosters as well as her own magical flying power, ripping it away from mirror Sam who was now shrieking from the top of her lungs. “Alright. You’re not getting that back.” Sam said as she carried the amputated arm away.
”Wait, I thought you weren’t going to try and kill it.” Ebruziel said.
“I’m not? Still have to defend myself, and a war of attrition can be done on an individual level too you know.” Sam replied as mirror Sam stood up angrily, almost frothing at the mouth. Then the doppelganger looked at Sam again in that eerily frozen manner. She cocked her head and once more took in all the details of Sam. Before Sam could take advantage however, she cocked her head back and deployed a heavy barrier.
“You’re going to pay for that, you bitch!” Mirror Sam shouted.
“Wait, you can talk normally now?” Sam asked, then watched as mirror started to hover in air.
“Yeah. It takes a while. But I can do everything you can.” Mirror Sam said as she closed her eyes and started to groan.
“Shit. I know how to regenerate.” Sam said as she saw her copycat rapidly regrow her right arm.
”Her technique is poor however. Much like yours. I feel like we have a chance at winning this fight.” Ebruziel said.
“It’s not a fight. It can’t be. The words are too ambiguous for that, this is literally another test.” Sam replied. “But what’s the solution?”
“There is no solution! I’m taking your place!” Mirror Sam shouted. “There is no ambiguity! My creator has given me the same mission, only one of us can leave!”
Sam watched as mirror Sam started to conjure up half a dozen massive fireballs. Sam dashed forward and started to throw her own fireballs as she tried to dodge hers. Both failed tremendously and for a few painfully loud moments the dome was filled with powerful explosions. Sam felt the various impacts on her body push through her suit and knock her into the dome’s wall where another fireball struck her hard.
Sam fell to the ground, small parts of her suit already clanging to the ground. Sam quickly scrambled up to her feet, seeing her mirror do the same in the exact same tempo. Through the transparent and broken pieces of her helmet, Sam could see that her mirror was also similarly starting to breathe heavily.
“I should get your spot!” She shouted. “After all, I’m better than you. Watch me.” Mirror Sam then popped open her suit and jumped out of it. She turned around and grabbed the undamaged arm of the suit and yanked it off with a violent tug. The metal groaned as she then held it in front of her. Slowly a light came from within and started to fill up the metal arm.
Sam cocked her own head in disbelief as she watched the arm slowly seem to melt and then transform into a massive sword shaped like suspiciously like a thunderbolt.
“Hoookay. That’s not good.” Sam complained. “How the fuck you know how to do that? I don’t know how to do that. That’s cheating!”
“Nu-uh! The spell and design both come from your memories of what other people could do.” Mirror Sam said as she started charging at Sam, hacking and slashing wildly. Sam jumped back and dodged the somewhat telegraphed moves with ease.
”I think she’s fighting like me. I mean, she’s having my own issues. It takes time to read memories. Clearly she’s doing it really fast to learn all that so quickly, but her strikes are like that of a child and you fight like a juvenile at minimum!”
“Thanks. Asshole. I guess.” Sam grunted out as she dodged another blow, grabbed the sword arm and headbutted mirror Sam.
“Right, that means I gotta do it fast then.” Sam said as she readied a new spell.
“Nah, too late, bitch!” Mirror Sam shouted as Sam noticed a proximity warning coming from behind her. Sam could barely see one of the HE missiles coming from the empty suit that had come up behind her and had gotten a lock already.
The explosion blasted more chunks out of the suit and Sam got pushed forward, smashing her and mirror Sam onto the ground with a heavy metal bang. Sam heard the specific alarms of some of the power infrastructure in her suit being broken, which were near the spine. The suit was too severely damaged, so she pulled the emergency evacuation lever and ejected through the top part.
Sam took in a few heavy breaths and noticed that mirror Sam was doing the same, clearly recuperating from the intense fight. Sam looked at her and realized that she too had to adjust, and despite being able to read everything from her memories, mirror Sam was still slow when she had to process it. And Ebruziel was right, her fighting skills weren’t optimal, though she was getting better fast.
Mirror Sam sprinted away and grabbed her sword. “That’s still cheating though.” Sam said as mirror Sam simply laughed and started charging towards Sam. Sam prepared to defend herself, but then thought otherwise. “All about timing and getting close.” She whispered to herself. “You need to help regenerate me, Ebruziel.”
”Wha – “
Sam jumped forward into her mirror’s exploratory thrust, letting the sword strike through her stomach. “Fuck!” Sam cursed as she grabbed onto the sword’s cross guard and pulled it closer, pushing the sword deeper and through Sam. Mirror Sam looked paralyzed with shock as Sam got close enough and with a heavy magical fist, hit her straight with an uppercut.
Mirror Sam flew off and hit the dome’s ceiling, making a heavy impact, followed by another as she fell to the floor with a heavy dud. “Okay, time to heal me. Shit, that took a lot of magic.” Sam grunted as she started to push the sword out, creating more wounds on her hands as she neared the end of the sword, no longer having a cross guard to push on.
”That was suicidal. Yet effective. I approve.” Ebruziel said, making Sam feel bad about herself. The feeling got compounded by the burning sensation on her stomach and hands as the wounds regenerated themselves and started to close.
Sam held the sword in her hand and found that despite not wearing the suit, it was just the right weight and balance. Though she did have to keep some kind of magical strain on her arms. Sam jumped forward and up, readying a strike to land on her mirror. As she did, the mirror looked up at the last moment with a bloody grin and raised a barrier, blocking the strike. Lightning struck from the sword and sparked all around, arcing all over, hitting both Sams.
“Ah, shit.” Both Sams cursed out and then jumped back simultaneously.
As mirror Sam jumped back, she readied another barrier, but Sam just stood there with an equal grin. Sam executed the command and saw her suit get up. Mirror Sam reacted fast and jumped to the side, while raising another barrier. Sam started to sprint forward with her barrier raised. Mirror Sam quickly realized that she was getting caught between two attackers and instead hunkered down while she increased the strength of her barrier. Sam pretended to fly forward towards mirror Sam but diverted at the last moment and instead flew to mirror Sam’s suit and slashed straight through it with all her momentum.
Mirror Sam looked on in surprise, then as her own suit fell to the ground, useless and broken, she watched as Sam’s own suit also fell to the ground after barely standing up for a second or two. “You tricked me!” Mirror Sam complained.
“I have the sword, both suits are broken. And I think you used slightly more magic than I did.” Sam said.
Mirror Sam grunted angrily, and Sam saw her whole body begin to glow. Sam did the same, and to achieve that, she felt she had to use up most of her magic supply. “I don’t want to kill you.” Sam said as she slowly walked forward, sword at the ready.
Sam watched as mirror Sam seemed to be having second thoughts and looked away. Sam waited for just a moment, then saw mirror Sam cock her head again and read her memories. Sam took the opportunity and exploded forward with all her might. Sam could barely register it as she was far too close to mirror Sam to really count or anticipate the moment, so she just relied on having the strike in her head. She slashed out, and hit mirror Sam, but also felt a heavy blow to her stomach as she got punched up into the ceiling.
Sam groaned as her body hit the ceiling. She struggled to right herself and barely landed on her toes, collapsing to her knees. “Ah, shit.” Sam coughed out and saw blood spatters hit the floor.
“See! Argh, fuck.” Mirror Sam cursed out. Sam looked up and saw that she was wounded on the floor as well, though there wasn’t any blood, just grey splotches. “I can trick you too, I pretended to be reading your memories! Argh, what’s this grey stuff?”
Sam looked at her mirror and wondered if she was actually that. A child-like entity that was just told to do something and didn’t really know why. “You don’t know what that is? I do.” Sam said. “You should read my memories to find out.”
“Nu-uh, you’re trying to trick me.” Mirror Sam replied, but clearly hesitated.
“Well, you’re just as wounded as I am, and it seems we both used a big chunk of our magic. But I have the sword, slightly more magic left, better grip on my own tactical experiences and memories, and most importantly, a better reason why I have to win this.” Sam said. “You should surrender.”
Mirror Sam grunted and coughed out some more grey splotches. “Grah! I’m faster than you. I’ll get that sword back and it’s even again. Especially if …”
“If you read my mind and read all my tactical experiences and memories?” Sam asked with a slight grin. “But then I’d just slash you again, making the gap between us just as big again.”
Sam could see her mirror scrunch her face like that of a child and started to think on the dilemma. “Why are you doing this? Just to take my place? What’s so special about that?” Sam asked, trying to compound the issue.
“What? Well, yeah. Duh. That’s what I was told to do.” Mirror Sam replied.
“That’s not a good reason. My reason is better.” Sam replied.
“What’s it matter!?” Mirror Sam shouted back, then gritted her teeth and loudly groaned. “You just want me to read your memories and go looking for the answer, don’t you?”
“No. I want you and I to stop fighting.” Sam answered. “If that means you have to read all of my memories to do it, then go ahead.”
“You’ll just hit me! I can’t take that chance!” Mirror Sam shouted back. “Besides, I have to, fuck… I have to do something!”
“Why?” Sam asked as she slowly lowered her sword. “That’s what I felt when I was younger – “
“Stop! You’re not tricking me into reading your memories!” Mirror Sam shouted. “I’ll defeat you like this and I’ll take your place! Then I’ll read your dead mind and extract the memories that way!”
“And take my place? You’ll still die.” Sam replied coolly.
“What? No, you’re not listening! I’ll just read your memories after and take your place! How would I die? I already read from your memories that I’m, like, super powerful compared to other humans.”
“You’ll be found out. Easily. We’re not a species that relies on false witnesses and witchcraft. Humans are from an advanced society that use proper investigation tactics and they will find out that you are made out of atomites.” Sam said again. “And then you’ll be killed.”
“Let me guess, read your memories to find out?” Mirror Sam said confidently. But Sam knew herself and her own expressions quite well and she could recognize more hesitation in her eyes.
“How about this?” Sam said as she dropped the sword to the ground. “Read it. It’ll take me half a second to pick up the sword, that’s some extra time for you to react. Or I just punch you, which is less bad.”
“If you trick me again, I’ll never trust you again! I’ll kill you!” Mirror Sam shouted to which Sam simply nodded, holding back her insults about naivete. There was a slight hesitation. A move that could be interpreted both ways, as mirror Sam took a step forward. Instead she raised her barrier and cocked her head. Sam grinned and exploded into action as she closed her eyes and pushed herself to her inner chamber.
As Sam opened her inner mind’s eye, and looked at her Anchor Point, she could see that similar strange blob hovering about and moving back and forth between various points surrounding the tarped engine and then towards the walls to look at open portholes like on a ship. The grey blob seemed to shift back and forth with tremendous speed, almost like a race car, but when it stood still it quickly coalesced back into Sam’s own form.
“Uh…”
“Ah! What are you doing in here? You can look inside yourself!?” The grey blob asked as Sam’s own face appeared from somewhere in the middle of its shape.
“Yes? Also, you may want to look at specific memories?” Sam said. As Sam was about to start a new sentence, the grey blob flitted back and forth again like a hummingbird dancing between different flowers, stopping at different viewports for half a second and moving on again.
Observing the grey blob, Sam noticed that it was wearing different outfits and was sometimes different sizes whenever it stopped at one of the new portholes. Sam silently walked to one and looked at it, seeing a scene that was just her riding a bike, flashing to another one where she was riding in the rain. Then another one where she was riding a motorcycle. Sam felt a tug and got pulled backwards. “Hey, move out of the way, with your slow ass. Oh, this one, this one is boring, you don’t even say or think anything, just an empty mind.”
“Hey!” Sam said back, to which the grey blob immediately dispersed all around her and formed an enormous dome around Sam just as she was trying to yank her mirror back in a similar manner.
“Haha, nope! For some reason you are super slow here, and you can’t do anything to me!” Mirror Sam said as her voice echoed through the entire Anchor Point. “Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I can kill you from here.”
“Uh. I’ll hit you in the real world if you do.” Sam said.
The grey dome started to swirl and come closer in a rapid tempo, then suddenly stopped. “Yeah. Okay. Temporary truce for now.”
“Yeah. Okay. You’re here because I wanted you to see my memories – “
“Well, then give me some good ones!” Mirror Sam shouted as the dome broke apart and coalesced back into a regular looking Sam again. “All your current memories suck, it’s so boring!”
“Uh, okay? Maybe…” Sam mumbled and then looked at her engine, that was draped with a tarp. “Well, maybe I can access the control panel again and see if I can’t find some good memories for you.”
“Good! But you better hurry up! I’m getting bored. Everything is really slow and awful here.” Mirror Sam said in a whiny voice.
“Well, as long as we’re keeping to a truce.” Sam said as shrugged and walked to the engine. Not wanting to remove the whole tarp she sort of unclasped two pins and pushed the tarp up a bit and then crawled underneath it.
“Wooaah, you can do that!?” Mirror Sam asked, prompting Sam to wonder if her mirror was in fact an actual infant of the science fiction variant. Like an AI that actually was a child and had to learn about the world from their opponents.
“Uh! Yeah, but don’t do it yourself, you, uh, you’ll break the truce that way.” Sam quickly bluffed, realizing that the tarp was actually an effective defense somehow. She heard mirror Sam disapprovingly tisk, but not much else. Sam shrugged as she climbed up underneath the tarp and moved towards her control panel and tapped it. She looked at the activated menu and saw a new option that had been unlocked.
’Welcome user-unknown-variant-controlspecies:0.21a.434.6557.fr12‘
’Option: Anchor Point Settings’
’Option: Memory View Port Settings’
’Option: Locked’
Sam tapped the new option and saw a couple of new options.
’Option: Memory View Ports’
’Option: Memory Repeat Settings’
’Option: Locked’
’Option: Memory Search’
’Option: Locked’
’Option: Locked’
’Option: Memory Display Settings’
’More…’
Intrigued and in a hurry, Sam tapped the ‘Memory Search’ option. There she was presented with two little widgets on the screen. One was a search bar, the other was a timeline that seemed to stretch from her birthyear all the way to today, in correct format. Lastly there was a button on the bottom that simply said ‘Search’.
“Mmmh. Time to take a gamble.” Sam said and then tapped the timeline and saw it light up. Experimentally she held two fingers on the ends of it and pushed the left side all the way up until there was roughly five and a half years at the end of her life. Sam hesitated but still pressed the ‘Search’ button. Immediately the control panel changed and showed an enormously long list that Sam immediately scrolled through.
“That time I pooped in the morning … Nope. That time I went to the bathroom, nope. That time I went to sleep. Nope. That time I scratched my armpit and I smelled it? Oh, god I still remember that one.”
“Hey, are you looking at memories without me!?”
“No, no, just making a selection, just give me a minute.” Sam shouted back. “Geez, no patience, like a dang child.” Sam muttered to herself as she kept scrolling through yet only found very mundane things. Occasionally there would a be a tactical briefing or some weapons training, as well as a meeting or paperwork in between, but apparently her memories were all just a bunch of doing nothing special.
Sam looked around at the edges and the top of the control panel, looking for filters or options, only to find yet more slow methods such as another search bar and a calendar icon. At the bottom however, Sam could see the options ‘Display’, ‘Select All’, and ‘Unselect All’.
“Well, I already said I’d take a gamble on this.” Sam shrugged and pressed the ‘Select All’ option and pressed ‘Display’. Sam quickly crawled out from underneath the tarp. “Okay, you should – “
“Ooooh!” Mirror Sam gleefully sang as her form dispersed into a massive cloud of grey particles that seemed to whiz back and forth at tremendous speeds, gathering at the dozen or so view ports that were all set into the walls all around them. Slowly the particles gathered and started to form small balls, then blobs, to finally settle down into 12 mini versions of Sam looking at the view ports.
“Oh, gods, I don’t need to see you poop!” One mini Sam shouted out and quickly dispersed and rejoined the others, growing them by a small amount. “Argh, so many of these memories suck!”
“Well, I just selected all of them for the past five years, and – “
“You what!? How freaking old are you!?” Mirror Sam shouted as three of the mini Sams dispersed into blob-like clouds and surrounded Sam and converged on her. Before she knew it, Sam opened her real eyes again and was looking at the bare metal dome and the actual mirror Sam, frozen in place, her head cocked at an angle.
Sam slowly picked up her sword again slowly changed positions, ready to strike, just in case. But nothing much happened. “Uh, did you push me out?” Sam asked out loud, knowing full well she could hear her. But no answer came. The previous times it took mirror Sam a few seconds, maybe a handful to read snippets of her memories and that was enough to learn English as well as basic ways of fighting with the suit and with magical powers. Now it was taking her more than a minute. Two minutes. It occurred to Sam that mirror Sam was learning like an AI.
“Uh, you almost done yet?” Sam asked, to which she sort of heard some muttering inside of her own head. “Uh, you need to talk louder, I can’t – “
In an instant mirror Sam snapped back and she collapsed to her knees and started to cry. In an ugly and loud manner. Sam was pretty sure she saw snot dripping from her nose. “What the fuck? Are you alright?”
“Noooo!” Mirror Sam cried out and continued wailing. “No, you’re right! It’s not fair! Was I born to be a failure!?” Mirror Sam then started smashing her fist onto the floor a few times and then fully collapsed into a fetus position, clutching her knees and continuing to ugly cry. “Waaaah, I don’t want to dieee!”
”What.”
“Ah, shit. What the fuck is my life right now.” Sam muttered to herself. “Alright, well, uh, you saw my memories then?” Sam asked out loud.
Mirror Sam sniffed and nodded, then continued to cry. Sam slowly walked closer and sort of let the sword fall down. She saw mirror Sam noticing, but she kept staying in place and crying. If it was a trick, she was handicapping herself with that position. Worse, everything Sam observed so far was the behavior of a really young child. If only she had a degree in AI development or something like it. Sam was internally betting that they behaved like this when newborn. Maybe Vee could tell her. Sam kept that in the back of her mind and stopped walking just in front of the mirror Sam and squatted down.
“Well, uh, why do you have to die?” Sam asked.
Mirror Sam sniffed and sort of looked away. “Well, because, I saw those ships, and realized I could die to those weapons. And then, I decided to properly act like you, but then I saw all those things that could identify you as a person. And, and – “ She sniffed and her lip started whimpering.
“Uh, it’s okay.” Sam said as she sort of awkwardly petted mirror Sam’s head. “Take your time.”
”This is very weird.”
Mirror Sam sniffed some more and from the throat sounds seemed to ingest a lot of snot before continuing. “Well, then I thought, why can’t I mimic the rest of that too? I’m, like, totally able to copy everything. And then I thought about why I was able to do that. And I looked through your memories, and saw that I’m like, this, disgusting grey goo!? Like tiny particles? I don’t even know what I am!”
Sam decided to sit down while mirror Sam continued to cry and have her existential crisis. “Well, it doesn’t matter much, right?”
Mirror Sam exploded upright as tears and snot flew around. “Of course, it matters! You have those adamantine scanners! You’ll find out I’m like this and not a real human! And then the other humans will kill me! Waaah!” Mirror Sam cried as she laid back down in the fetus position.
Sam ignored the part of this plan where mirror Sam had to kill Sam to take her place, and instead focused on trying to get her to both stop crying and accept a more permanent truce. “Well, they won’t kill you just because you’re not human. If you saw all those memories, then you’ve seen other species as well as an actual AI living amongst us, right?”
“Yeah…” Mirror Sam sniffed. “But, what about my creator? It told me to kill you, and then I’ll get killed as retaliation!” Mirror Sam sniffed a bit more and loudly, but at least she stopped the ugly crying.
“Uh, did it specifically instruct you to kill me? Or was it some more ambiguous kind of order?” Sam asked.
“I don’t know!” Mirror Sam replied sullenly. “I didn’t know language back then! That was like minutes ago, that’s like years for you, you’re old, you should know!”
Sam held back a disapproving tisk sound and instead took a deep breath. “Well, if you want to blend in more, and be more human, then you should do what humans do.”
Mirror Sam instantly locked eyes with Sam, tears no longer coming from her eyes. And thankfully, no more snot dripped from her nose. “What do humans do?”
“Well, you saw my memories. You saw a lot of protests and political rallies right?” Sam answered, to which mirror Sam immediately sat up again, but still hugged her knees as she looked Sam in the eye.
“But, what if I piss off my creator?”
“That’s the point of it. Annoy it until it gives up. What’s the worst thing it could do? Kill you? At least this way you get to have some revenge beforehand and you can work through some of your feelings. You’ll feel better that way.” Sam said to which mirror Sam started to nod along. Sam then pressed that final button. “Besides… don’t you feel angry underneath all this sadness?”
If the AI before her was indeed copying vast parts of Sam’s memories, then perhaps she was also copying large parts of Sam’s personality. After all, she was cursing a lot. Sam continued to push. “Don’t you feel a burning hot desire to just curse, scream, and rage at this crappy situation you were, uh, born in?”
Mirror Sam started to nod more and more intensely until she got up off her feet, tears replaced with pouting lips and furrowed brows. “Come on, let’s do something about it.” Sam said as she raised a middle finger to the dome’s sky. “Boooh, you suck! Primordials suck!”
“Boooh! Fuck you, asshole! You’re both a bad mom and dad!” Mirror Sam shouted as she threw a fireball against the ceiling.
“Boooh! Who tests on sentient species like that!? That’s unethical, you suck!”
“Yeah! Why was I made to die!? My whole life is meaningless and the only thing stopping me from falling into a depressing spiral of manic self-destruction or accepting my fate is lashing out against you! Boooh!”
Sam shot a quick awkward glance at mirror Sam but decided to discretely ignore what she just said. “Yeah, uh, you suck donkey balls!” Sam threw a fireball at the ceiling as they both continued to curse and shout at the Primordial for the next minute or so.
“Yeah, your taint smells like hot goat piss! And you look like a hammerhead shark had sex with a Zerg otaku!”
“Oh, good one!” Sam said in appreciation of the reference to the latest StarCraft movie she saw a few years ago. Sam held up her hand to mirror Sam. She responded by looking at it for a few moments as she hesitated, as if she didn’t know what to do, but then clearly read some more memories and then high-fived Sam.
“Woooh, screw you – “
“Alright, stop it! Stop! Just stop!” Sam’s voice once more rang throughout the entire dome. “You pass the test!”
“Nooo! Don’t kill me!” Mirror Sam shouted as she raised a heavy barrier.
“I’m not going to fucking kill you, you stupid – “ The Primordial said in Sam’s voice and then sighed heavily. Then the voice changed back to the neutral robot’s one. “Please stop protesting. It hampers progress. You have succeeded in the final test. You both may leave. Please, leave.”
Sam started to laugh out loud.
 
 
Alright, contest time! Next week's chapter is called 'Primordial's Purpose'. If you can correctly guess what the purpose of the experiments is (all of it, the tower, Arenal, humans as control species), then you get to have an alien species of your own design in future chapters! Depending on how weird your species are (please make them sentient), they can be very important or not at all, but they will for sure be mentioned.
Also, not my fault if they get wiped out or terrible shit happens to them.
Deadline for correct guesses will be when the next chapter is posted, next week. Because, obviously, the answer will be in that chapter.
Next
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Five Top Costume Shops in Dubai for any occasion.

Five Top Costume Shops in Dubai for any occasion.
Dubai cosplay admirers are named because of their cosplay choices (garb video games) once they don't need to, and or will pick a social event for Halloween celebrations, gambling or for submissive birthday parties. Bring Superherer Clothing to Privateers and Disney Van to Halloween Shapes; Cosplay fans can locate each and each organization they're after. Dubai has a massive number of awesome clothing stores that provide you with an exquisite blend of companies to keep social gatherings and openings in a fascinating and a laugh way. Actually, Dubai sells due to the fact there is a lot of hoarding in Dubai. In the case of people, there are many blessings that may be expected from their escape and inside the interim, there are possibilities which include Easter, Halloween, and so forth. So they have a good time in Dubai with the aid of shopping for garments. So essentially individuals want to rent Dubai cars on certain purchasing days. Likewise, a while later it become a mean disturbance at every save with steering for leasing Dubai driving force's cars.
If you are going to Dubai on a short-term visa or for a project here, rent a car is the best way to be independent on UAE's roads. In addition, rent a car of your choice in the UAE on a monthly basis offers many benefits. It is economical and hassle-free facilities to provide you to enjoying that. Car rental Dubai pays for monthly car rental and provides free delivery and pick-up. The company is taken care of and registered. In the case of a mistake or accident, you are provided with a replacement vehicle until your vehicle is repaired. Monthly car rental allows you to upgrade or downgrade immediately to your preferred car. There are many benefits of monthly car rental are much cheaper and faster than using public transport when traveling to UAE. Cost-effective because you are not responsible for paying the rising insurance and enrollment costs. Plus your own car is hassle-free to maintain it. There are huge discounts on monthly rates compared to daily rentals.
Clothing Store in Dubai
Admit in case you are a lover of social events; You should additionally consider cosplay. Subjects have chic time; The maximum honorable outfit is the primary impetus in your preference and invitations you to fantasize approximately the individual, tale, or possibility that you love. Clothing stores in Dubai offer huge gadget wherein you could discover directly from new and used garage areas.
1 Mystique outfit
https://preview.redd.it/5b6ceege2rm31.png?width=533&format=png&auto=webp&s=f883d03be99b2e6b8409d4729cd526e20d06f832
The first and closing target of Darling Cosplay in Dubai is obscure garb. This shop has a ramification of family furniture, with an exquisite blend of social events and birthday parties that take snapshots, terrific matters, tires, systems, lights, tops, guns, props, and meeting winners. It is set on Jalan Umm Suqeim, Al Barsha 2. You can discover and save online without losing many making a bet alternatives - such as coins.
2 creative sentiments
A crucial trader is given to restoration parties and social affairs, for example, the general burden of diverse species on various people crafted from wigs, garments, props, renewals, packaging substances, and so on. They have been held inside the same way on Umm Suqeim Street, Al Barsha 2.
3 Party Canter
A critical opportunity to provide stores with unusual local garb. You can locate this keep in Al Garhoud, Saraya, from Media City, Dubai. Then once more, you can purchase on the internet. Trot gatherings include all the accumulation, birthday events, infant presents, certain activities, Halloween, and essentially that is the beginning.
4 Mr. Bens
https://preview.redd.it/2x3e1ipg2rm31.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=918e802db99ab8b982f59aa04d3aae4927283521
Mr. Bens gives cool clothes for lease and purchase. This save is blended and amusing due to the fact it is stacked with energetic clothes and is open to all households.
5 Rent Luxury Dresses
Should it need to set apart or 3 Dirhams? In this discipline, Extravagant Dress Contract is a real Dubai apparel shop, as it offers various parties for rent. That location has unlawful social members of the family with clothes and different additional matters. The Most Amazing Postgraduate Contracts Work 24 hours; which recommends that in case your sale closes, you can touch them to set up the clothes you like the most. The Gunstock agreement denounced 100 AEDs for a small store for certain social activities. Direct agreement at Jumeirah Stop, Dubai.
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A Different Kind of Death: My 30yr old, female, DINK perspective

Most adults have experienced the loss of someone you love. People will disappear and death is just a fact of life. My first experience with loss was in elementary school when my grandma passed away. I remember the night my mom received the phone call. We were living in a small two bedroom apartment and the walls were rather thin. I rushed in the room when I heard my mom’s desperate tone on the phone. When I saw her enveloped in my dad’s arms, I knew. Next to my mom, my grandma was an active part of my life. She was in my life because she wanted to be and it was apparent in the way she looked at me. Children have a keen sense of when they are wanted and I always felt my grandma was someone who loved me with all her being. I’m lucky to have inherited her smile even though it’s a little wonky. I won’t change it.
Death is not the only reason people will leave your life. The most unexpected and incomprehensible loss of your loved ones is due to child rearing. You see your friends and relatives that are now parents but they’re not really there. They’re an entirely new person who you now sometimes see a sliver of who they used to be. Sure, you could get to know the new person BUT they usually do not have time for you. You are supposed to be happy for them and their new adventure in life but a small part of me can’t help but be angry. Ok, ok, it’s actually a large part of me, obviously, hence the long article. They’re making the sacrifice and being the best parent that they can be but how do you fit in with their new adventure? Honestly, at the moment, I have two coping mechanisms. First is to busily make new, childfree friends. Another way, and the most brutal way, is to cut out friends with children. (The second one is sometimes not noticed by the parent so it might not be as brutal as I think.) Sure I could go on a play date with you and your child to the park but I’m awkward with kids and you’ll be distracted anyway. No one will win. Wait, the kid will win, they always do. They get to go to the park and stick random objects in their mouth. That is always a ‘win’ for a kid. Any attention given to the adult conversation by the parent will be half-assed and never remembered. Sometimes the mom will fake attention but I know she is not really listening. There is usually awkward tension because our interests are not the same anymore. Attention to the conversation is not worth their time so why should I make it take up my time either? Basically what this boils down to: see you in 18-20 years mom friend. I’ll help you pick out clothes for your life after kids, let you know when you’re being too clingy after you send them to college, show you some nice restaurants and introduce you to new hobbies.
At first I didn’t want to be this person because it is viewed horribly by society’s standards. Society has parameters for human behavior and according to the paragraph above, I’m a horrible human being. It is my personality to want to be accepted and positively viewed. Although this is how I might be perceived, I’m beginning to think, fuck it. If I can restructure my life and save my sanity, I think I will. Just as a mother barely functions the first year of their child’s life due to the lack of sleep, I will find a way to adapt too. When my parent friends become absent due to their all-encompassing love for their children, I will move on as they have noticeably moved on from me. I do not find staring at a wiggly baby entertaining. I am also not a fan of screaming, poop or vomit. None of this is cute. I do not share the same painful love that you do so I will not view them the same as you either. You should not expect me to. For saying this, I am classified as a horrible human, I know. I am the same horrible human that volunteers their time for useful purposes in society. I am also the same horrible human that tears up because of tragic news stories, sad songs, animal adoption commercials, posts of sick children on Facebook and seeing homeless people on the street on Christmas Eve. My soul is not as horrid as you think it is but according to ‘society’, I’m an unbearable, egocentric, dink asshole.
What I find so bizarre is that while I am being a productive member of society, you are quite certain that child rearing automatically makes you one as well. Sometimes you even think you are more so than me. By raising the future, you’re automatically a saint, right? This is what is ingrained in us as female children growing up. To be a mother is the ultimate sacrifice and most rewarding life you can lead. Fuck this too. Right in the arse. Where is Jeffrey Dahmer’s mom? What about Jim Jone’s (Jamestown massacre) mom? I bet these guys were cute babies though (elbow nudge). At least they had that going for them (knee slap). As a mom, you think that you are helping us/society by raising the next genius. Let’s break it down, while you have spent most of your life providing for this little human, I will have been spending time bettering the sure thing, myself. I know my limitations, how I can be useful and as a bonus, I know I’m not a cold blooded killer. Not killing people is a pretty cool party trick I have. As a mom, you’re playing the lottery. You are putting yourself (who also has untapped potential) aside on a gamble/child. It irks me to no end to see moms project their hopes and dreams on an infant. All the while I just stare at the mom and think, “What about you?!”. You are handicapping yourself for many, many years on a potential return on your ‘wishes’. Take a look around, your children will grow up to be adults who work a menial 9am-5pm job if you’re lucky. In the end, your children will have babies and then the cycle continues. It’s exhausting.
TLDR: I am tired of saying goodbye to the people I love so they can raise a baby but according to society, I’m supposed to be happy for them.
Life Tip: When making friends in your 30’s, aim for 50+ year olds. They have time to hang out after work, tell cool stories, they have disposable income and they usually like to go to restaurants.
submitted by blt4me to childfree [link] [comments]

[Table] IAmA: I am Jake Browne, marijuana critic for the Denver Post featured on CNBC's "Colorado Pot Rush". AMA:

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-03-27
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
When trying out different strains, do you have a routine you follow? If so what does it entail? 1) Be sober.
2) Have a clean pipe. Even if there's a little resin in the bowl area, I can still get the taste off the first hit, but I'll heat up my pipe and give it a good scrape.
3) Give it a good squish with my fingers. This always helps pick up the nose of a strain. If I'm having trouble picking out distinct notes, I'll smell some coffee beans to reset my sniffer.
4) Take a couple hits, and write some initial notes. How long does it take to hit me? If I had any aches/pains, how do those feel? What do I feel like doing? When do the effects start to wane?
5) Submit about 15 minutes after my deadline. Thanks, my awesome editors!
Does smoking pot for a job change how you use pot recreationally? Like most people get home from work exhausted, and say to themselves "man, I'm gonna get baked to help me relax." For you, is it like, "man, I'm going to drink alot of water and hope this high goes away so I can relax." I have a joke about how now whenever I smoke pot I have to write a book report. It's not very funny yet, but you get the point. I try to be a little more observational, but the hardest part is probably doing the videos. They ask me to do two 45 second Tout's to accompany the articles, something I'm not very good at yet. Let the writers write!
Edit: I'm a bad writer. Have fun with that one, too.
What is the most potent strain you have tried, and what were the effects like? When I first started at The Releaf Center there was a strain called Herojuana we got from a caregiver that was a real one-hitter quitter. We didn't know that at the time. Probably the closest I've gotten to visually hallucinating with a strain. Amazing, intense body high with tons of mental stimulation. Came from a caregiver, never saw it again.
How are people in Colorado who don't smoke weed taking the legalization? Do they hate it, love it, or is it pretty much a 50/50. And how do they react to your articles/reviews in they're magazines? I haven't received any hate mail yet, but my editors might be keeping it in a secret bag somewhere to preserve my sanity. Overall, I think when the first big tax numbers came in, people were stoked. That money goes to school construction, keeping the kids off of drugs, and keeping stoned drivers off the roads.
My stuff stays online for the moment, not in the paper itself, but my colleague Ricardo Baca has said in the past that the backlash to print pieces wasn't nearly as big as they had expected. So hopefully that means I'll be getting a column next to Dear Abby.
Do you currently foresee any potential pitfalls or problems that could cause a reversal of the new cannabis laws in Colorado? Tons of them. I worry about stoned drivers, although drunk drivers are still a massive problem around the country but no one bats an eye at booze. (insert Joker meme)
Colorado needs to regulate shops well, as we're the testing ground for all of this. Make sure that money (and pot) aren't flowing out the back door. The MED (Marijuana Enforcement Division) has their hands full.
What is your least favorite misconception about marijuana and how do you debunk it? That potheads are intrinsically stupid. Mostly, I just yell "CARL FUCKING SAGAN" at them. I'm not sure I'm helping the cause.
I'm from Illinois and been thinking of taking a drive to Colorado to buy some green. Am I allowed to buy it being from another state? What's the best kind of bud to get? Yes, that is totally a thing you can do. Some shops will limit how much out-of-staters can buy or charge you more, so do your research in advance and call around. Do you like to sleep and feel incapacitated? Try some indica! Want to be energetic/feel like strangers can read your thoughts you're so paranoid? Try some sativa! Everyone has a different experience, so whatever you try, try it in moderation.
Have you ever met Doug Benson/Snoop Dogg/other celebrities associated with cannabis? Would you consider going on Doug's podcast "Getting Doug with High?" Can everyone tweet this to Doug Benson? We've smoked after a show before but he's a busy guy. He'll be out here for Mother's Day and want him on MY podcast. Other than Doug, nope. What up, Here_Comes_The_King?
I just tweeted him. Ya welcome. Thanks! He DM'd me so it worked.
Since it's legalization in Colorado, what is the strangest marijuana related product you've seen come on the market? I know a girl who is working on marijuana infused lube. Not sure why that needs to exist, but it does. I've seen pictures. Of the bottles.
Have you reviewed any strains which enhance sex? Like horny goat weed or something? Not yet, but any strain can enhance sex. You're high.
Medically, I always say that marijuana will gain mainstream acceptance if it can help people lose weight, grow hair, or grow boners.
Do you have any stories about police or citizen harassment? None. People kind of give zero fucks around here about pot. Also, I'd like to keep it that way.
Do you think there is a single company poised to become the "Philip Morris" of marijuana in the US? If so, who and how might that impact the product? There are companies trying. Take Dixie Elixirs for example. The CEO has openly said he wants to be the Coca Cola of cannabis and sell to a multinational corporation. I don't think people want an industrially grown marijuana product. No matter what, I think you'll continue to see "artisan" pot grown, similar to craft beers.
How did you get your start as a marijuana critic? Sounds like an interesting line of work. When the industry popped up, there were tons of magazines that saw dollar signs. They needed content, so I started submitting. It helps when you live in a state with a medical marijuana program. I can't imagine trying to do this in Arkansas.
Do you feel like your exposure may hurt future career opportunities? I'm a writer and comedian, so I'm not sure I have many career opportunities. Honestly, I'm hoping we get to a point where casual marijuana use isn't a big deal in society. Or at least we get to where online dating is. Your friend can do it and you just make snarky comments behind their back.
Could you tell us the story of the first time you smoked weed? Oh lord. It was after debate practice with some friends out of a pop can. We drove around and listened to Ben Folds Five and I laughed like a madman. I wish I remembered more, but I'm turning into more and more of a cliche in my old age. Those were the days.
You mentioned in an answer above you had a medical card. Has the quality and or cost of marijuana increased or decreased since it was legalized? Cost has skyrocketed. Jesus, I paid over $20 for a GRAM at a rec shop last week. Medical shops are running better deals than ever. (Note to self: do more medical shopping)
Quality wise, I haven't noticed any change. People have been growing here for years, so that part of the equation is fairly static. Of course, there are shops rushing herb to the store to keep up with demand, so the curing isn't always as great as you'd like. Like if there was a tomato shortage, so the store only had green tomatoes and you were like "Man, shouldn't these be red?"
Yeah.
When it comes to names and strains, is there any system that protects intellectual property? How do I know I am really buying "Maui wowee" or whatever, and someone hasn't just thrown a recognizable name on a random strain they have? That's why I'm here! You should be able to recognize most strains by sight and smell. It's like that field guide to birds your grandparents are always reading. Breeders are really passionate about this, because strains can "dilute" and then people get pissy. "You haven't had Swerve's REAL Tahoe OG, bro!" and so forth.
So what do you thin about the legality of pot? Should other countries be taking notes from Colorado? Definitely don't take notes from California. Their system is a mess. Colorado's tax rates are pretty high, but that was to be expected with being one of the first. Let's see how well they control the shops in place before everyone says "This is the model!" and moves forward. But on a macro level, yeah, legalize it.
Do you think time is linear or cyclical? Link to imgur.com
Do you tend to prefer Indicas or Sativas (and why)? I'm a utility smoker, so they both have their place. Indicas are my sleep aid and big pain reliever, so I use them a lot less. Sativas are great when I want to work on anything creative like new jokes or an article or Hemp Box stuff, so I'd say I usually have them on deck. Especially haze strains.
Smoking so much weed, how do you manage your body weight munchies-wise? Any tips to eat less while smoking? I rarely get the munchies anymore, but some people have a huge struggle with what I call "grazing". Try sativas! Strains like Durban Poison, Haze of all types, or a Maui Wowie/Island Sweet Skunk are more active. Some people find that sativas give them munchies, so if that's the case, try indicas! It's brilliant, this pot system we have here.
Do you believe that all these different strains have the effects that the growers boast about? Like are some strains really that much better for head highs vs body highs? I've even had some people tell me some strains don't make you as hungry as others do. Is be interested to hear your perspective. Growers are the worst people to talk about the effects of pot with, best about how to grow it. That's why I have a job. There are so many different effects that marijuana can have, but let's talk about hunger, for example. There's cannabis indica, which I find gives me munchies. Much less so with cannabis sativa. You know THC, which gets you high? There's also THCV, which is an appetite suppressant. They're working on breeding for it.
Hello Jake. I really enjoyed the CNBC special and have watched it several times. What advice would you give to cannabis entrepreneurs looking to get ahead in states that have yet to legalize for recreational use? Thanks - that's cool to hear and I'm proud to be a part of what CNBC did. Would recommend everyone check it out.
Do what people did here: start an industry group. It gives you clout with local pols and shows leadership. Then, when rulemaking comes around, you usually have a seat at the table. If you're also a good person (because why wouldn't you be?!) then get involved with patient advocacy. There are great groups out there like ASA, for example, that can assist you. Be the change and all that good stuff.
To what extent do you think the quality of the high is determined by the strain versus how carefully it is grown? Great question. Growing and curing play such a huge part, as an expert cultivator can do amazing things with pretty shit genetics. It's harder for a novice to grow something great from a good genetic line. For that reason, and that reason alone, I'll go with GROWN!
Which strain have you personally enjoyed the most and why? Super Lemon Haze. When it's done correctly, it's euphoria and energy and creativity in a bowl. I'm not a big "couch lock" get high and play video games guy, so I'm looking for something that is motivational. Haze almost always fits the bill.
I certainly don't advocate violence in any matter but is it even possible for you to want to punch Nancy Grace in the face more than me? Nancy Grace is a great source of humor in my life. I'd like to think that if I were confronted by Nan, I'd have the grace of Mason Tvert.
Do you think in the long term the taxes will benefit the state enough that other states may consider legalization as well? They already are. It's just a question of if they find pot more acceptable than riverboat gambling or whatever other sin tax they're looking at. Medical marijuana is moving forward in a lot of states right now, which is the gateway drug to legalization..
I'd imagine the black market is doing better than ever (street sales.) Knowing that there's no tax on a sixty dollar eighth as to oppose going into a dispensary and getting taxed to high heaven for essentially the same thing. Have you any knowledge as to what's going on in the streets? I know you have had a card for a while but, maybe you have a friend or something that's been blazing for years and doesn't fall for the "it's legal" hype and still gets it from their dealer. What's the situation as far as that goes? DenverNick pretty much nailed it. There are absolutely still black market dealers, dispensary mules, and the like. People with red cards get asked ALL THE TIME to go grab pot for friends. Some people are just paranoid about stepping into a dispensary on camera. Dealers are still doing well, but they've had to adapt. I truly believe they'll be all but phased out in the near future, because prices will come down and growing is a pain in the ass.
Interesting. I have been growing for 5-6 years here in Colorado. So far, nothing has changed for me. Still have my customers, and they are happy coming to me instead of a shop. I wonder if I will be phased out. No signs of it happening yet. Thanks for doing this AMA. I think there will always be people that enjoy the experience of having "a dude" to buy from.
Do you feel that drug tests for employment discriminate against marijuana? Will there be reform? When? I'd be shocked if the testing game doesn't move toward current impairment. Right now, you'll fail a test if you've smoked as recently as a month ago (usually). I think employers care more if people are showing up high than if they like to get high in their free time. But yes, they clearly discriminate against marijuana.
Recently I made a post on /trees that we start a community review board of all the different strains so users could compare their experience with each strain. I received a lot of criticism over the fact there is a large inconsistency between batches. Do you find there to be inconsistencies between batches of the same strain? What systems are in place to ensure quality and consistency? Well, I don't necessarily think that "a lot of criticism" is fair, but there is a difference between how things are grown, where the genetics came from, etc. The biggest thing is helping people identify what they smoke, which is where I come in and getting a large group of people together is key. I wouldn't say that in a "batch" (I'm going to assume that means harvest) there's much of any difference. Quality and consistency systems? None. The state lets people grow what they grow and the market determines if the pot you grow sucks.
Is trademark law applicable? I don't know much about this. There's rumors that RJR or some big tobacco has trademarked a number of names. I've never looked into it because I'm not too interested.
Where do you think the marijuana industry is heading? In the sense of, 20 years from now this product could be legal in more states with wider public acceptance. Will there be a huge marijuana conglomerate in the US? The GE's and Apples of the marijuana industry I suppose? God, I'm terrible at predictions. Sure, there will be more legalization. I think that's inevitable at this point. We won't move backwards. And yes, they'll be a "Budweiser" who comes in, but there's always going to be interest in the "microbrews" of pot. It's just not a great plant for growing on an industrial scale and keeping the connoisseur quality. Hemp will dwarf it all, though. Hemp is the future.
Do you do anything to reset your tolerance between tests? I feel like growing a tolerance would be a deal breaker for a tester. {edit} spelling. I think people lend a little too much credence to the tolerance issue. I'm not a wake-and-bake, smoke-weed-erry-day guy, so it hasn't been a problem so far. I should probably work out more, but it is what it is.
Preferred method of consumption? I'm so boring. A little one-hitter suits me just fine most of the time.
Also, oils, edibles, or herb? Dabs are great. Love me a little dab. Edibles scare the shit out of me. Had to review them for another magazine and it was the thing I dreaded the most in the month. Just so inconsistent.
So jealous. As someone who is interested in becoming involved in the commercial marijuana world, I am curious to learn about new jobs being created as a result of legalization. How has the legal industry changed those who were already involved in the field before it was made legal, and what new changes have been made? Don't be, it's not as glamorous as I'm sure I make it seem. The jobs are the same as when medical was here. Mostly retail and cultivation jobs, which again, people tend to romanticize. People always ask me about moving out here and working in the industry. Want to sit in a chair and trim weed for 8 hours for minimum wage pay? Go get licensed by the state and you've got a job!
What do you typically smoke out of when testing different strains? Are you a paper or glass kind of guy? Thanks! Glass or a vaporizer, as papers can alter the flavor a lot. Plus, they're easier to use. I smoked out of a blunt for one review and a commenter wanted my head for it. Also, I hate reading the comments section.
What was the application and interview process like at the Denver Post for you to get your job? Some newspapers seem to have some chill employees but I'd still imagine it was still a little weird getting a marijuana-related job in a somewhat corporate setting. I'm a freelancer, so the whole corporate setting is really my living room. The process was great. I submitted a resume and writing samples, then did a review for them which ultimately ended up on the site. It helped, I imagine, that I had written a ton of reviews previous to my gig at the Post.
Misunderstood the title, thought you were critical of marijuana. Not a Marijuana Critic. My question: How can I get your job? But seriously, other than the "lose weight, grow hair, or grow boners" comment, what do you think will be the key point(s) that change the tide of the on-the-fencers and other uninformed peoples? At times I'm both. I think people tend to react based on what they see. Colorado hasn't burned to the ground, there aren't stoned drivers mowing over infants, so far, so good. Taxes will also play a big part, but mostly, people just want to know that someone else did it first and lived to tell about it.
What drugs should be permitted? Psychedelics get a bad rap.
It seems to me like there's going to be a large botany 'boom' in colorado. Have you seen rises in people taking it up in an attempt to legitimately get into the market? Also, (you can ignore this one if the answer is too long) where are the retail places getting their supply? Growing is done by registered and licensed facilities, so there isn't really an opportunity for hobbyists to break into the market. Back in the day that was different, as caregivers (people who grew for a limited number of patients) could sell to dispensaries and we'd see great bud coming in from off the street.
I'm a Denver resident with access to both recreational and medicinal pot. Do you have any shop/strain recommendations? I really want to smoke some super great weed. Where should I look? How should I look for the best pot? Gorgeous day! Why are we indoors? I like Good Chem in Cap Hill, as they usually have a good selection and well grown pot. Green Man has a cup under their belt and nice stuff, as well. The biggest things you want to look/smell for: good trichome coverage (the stuff that makes it look frosty) and a distinct smell. If the jars smell the same, smell like hay, or kind of like a basement, stay away. There are a lot of review sites like Leafly and Weedmaps that can help, too. Read the comments, especially the recent ones, to get a feel for what you're walking in to.
Yo dude, Have you ever tried Charlotte's web? If so what are the effects like (honest please)? I probably should, but I always feel guilty because people really need that strain and they should be the ones getting it. But it's just a gram or two, so does it really matter? I don't know. Maybe that'll be my next review.
What do you think about high cbd strains like that? I'm big on high CBD strains and am excited about CBD hemp products moreso. The best I've ever had was a CBD oil that was comparable to a valium.
So I assume any one who doesn't live in Colorado or Washington can't receive one of those beautiful, beautiful Hemp Boxes? Good question! The Hemp Box actually has no THC in it, it's just cool hemp stuff that we run across. Legal in all 50 states. Check out our Indiegogo page for more info.
As a Canadian, I always thought this would be happening to me before ANY state in America. Do you believe pot will become legal within all of north america by 2020? And if not, why? I wish, but sadly, no. We have this place called "the south" and they don't take kindly to us smoking the Devil's lettuce. Also, old people. It's funny, I think NORML released this graph that shows as old people die, pot does better and better in polling. Don't get me wrong, though. I love my grandparents.
How well can you discern strains from one another without being told what they are? For instance, could you smoke a bowl of some bud and say "oh, definitely Sour Diesel."? Usually I can get the genetics of a random strain without being told what it is. A friend came over the other day and I nailed it on his Tangerine Diesel, but it's also pretty easy to tell. With all the different OG Kush lines, that's harder.
Also, how many different strains have you tried, and what is your favorite high-sativa hybrid? I always say over 100 because I can verify that from my reviews. If I had to put a number on it, I'd say ~300. Blue Dream is my sativa hybrid of choice and it's pretty easy to find. Here, at least.
Is your research soley limited to cannabis, or have you experimented with other substances? If so, which did you like/not like, and why? Thank you! I love to expand my mind. I think that's all I can say here. Also, HELLO NSA!
Mr. Jake n' Bake, I'm the host of a comedy/entertainment based podcast. Our latest episode had over 100 views/downloads in 3 days. The premise is that a guest and I watch a movie and get "buzzed," hence "Movie Buzzed." We're expanding into interviews, and it would be wonderful to have you on to showcase your expertise. Questions would center around your profession. For example: What kind of medicine would you recomend for watching a movie with friends? Feel free to answer that question here, and I look forward to your reply! P.S. I'm not sure if I asked officially, but would you be interested in a 10-15 minute interview segment to set up our movie? I actually co-host a podcast called Whiskey and Cigarettes with a guy named Zac (and another guy named Jake - it's complicated) that reviews other podcasts, so I'll make sure to check you guys out. I always prefer to do podcasts in person, but let's talk.
Have any employers in the state considered relaxing drug testing that you've heard of? There wasn't anything built into the law that would make it illegal for a business to fire you for failing a marijuana screening in Colorado, right? I think what people aren't talking about is how companies have looked the other way for a while. A lot of tech firms are here, we're kind of a start-up hub, so they're looking for young talent that probably enjoys to smoke some pot now and then. I think what they're really testing for is meth/cocaine/etc. Nothing in Amendment 64 protects people who are high at work, correct.
Have you heard of any Colorado companies relaxing their drug test policies? If not do you feel that lawsuits could come up from people that have gotten fired? I haven't, but there is a case going through the courts still (I believe) about a Dish Network employee who needed it medically. Companies have protection, though, and can fire anyone they want. His case being medical changes the discussion. If you just smoke pot because you want to, you're screwed. We're a right to work state, as well.
I caught a municipal possession charge about three years ago. Can I get it sealed or maybe vacated? Thanks. Not a lawyer but pretty sure no. Drug charges suck, but at least it's not a felony? Might make a great conversation piece if your new boss is a stoner, too? Is any of this making you feel better? Someone give this man some gold.
Sounds like you have my dream job. Are there any downfalls to what you do, socially or professionally? What states do you think will get on board and legalize next? I have a joke about that. A lot of people tell me it was probably my dream job when I was 16. When I was 16, I thought I could be a lawyer. A lawyer with his own car.
I've probably lost a few Facebook friends, but my family is supportive and I've smoked pot for years, so most people just accept it. As for states, it's anyone's guess. I wouldn't be surprised if a state that a lot of people wouldn't bet on... say Iowa... jumps on board.
Edit: But not Utah.
What is the strangest strain name you've come across? We used to make up names for strains we'd get off the street from caregivers. Outgoing Panda was my favorite. There was a strain (and it's probably still out there) that was a cross of The White and Master Kush. They unfortunately called it White Master. I also reviewed a strain called Kuchi that describes a region but probably shouldn't.
Another separate question, have you worked with Doug Benson at all? I know he's a comedian and writer like you and is trying for the same goal. I'm a rookie, been doing stand-up for a year and a half. But, our podcast did just win reader's choice for "Best Local Podcast" by the Denver Westword, so I've got that going for me, which is nice.
What are the main reasons why marijuana isn't legalized in California? Do you seeany negatives from marijuana? I'm writing an essay on marihuana legalization and would love your input! From my understanding, California is kind of a free-for-all politically. Lots of cities making their own decisions and lack of regulation from the state government. One of the big reasons the feds stay out of Colorado (for the most part) is that we heavily regulate who can be in the business and where their pot goes. "Seed to sale" tracking is the goal. Cali is nowhere near that. But I'm in Colorado so that could all be wrong.
What if we're, like, just atoms in the fingernail of, like, some big monkey-slug in a higher dimension? Or we're all just Shrimpkins hurling through space on the belly of a Bender.
What makes some weed the best? It's all about what you want out of the experience. At the end of the day, we're self-medicating. Generally, though? Solid genetics that were grown with care and then left to cure properly, well flushed with no mites/mold/other gross stuff.
I take it you didnt need to take a drug test to get that job? Like, to make sure I was on drugs?
Your trapped on an island that has everything for you to live and one strain of marijuana? What strain do you wish it is? Hmm. Probably OG Kush, because from my understanding it's a great yielder and doesn't require a whole lot of effort. I'm terrible in the garden.
Hey Jake, llifetime Coloradoan here, I live up north in Fort Collins. I'm a rec smoker who has buddies I get herb from, usually around $15/g. I went to Garden City this weekend just for the hell of it, to the closest rec shop not in Denver. I was pretty shocked to see $80 per 8th as an accepted price. Do you think shops will price themselves more competitively to lure away street buyers? Or is the tax too high to stay profitable? Hey FoCo Gibbs! Prices will absolutely come down, but I hear you. The Garden City shop, from my understanding, has a pretty unique situation so they're making their money while they can. We're seeing the market play out (supply v demand) in real time and I think that's fascinating. With there being ~50 recreational shops in the Denver metro, prices are already starting to fall.
PS I enjoyed your segment on CO Pot Rush, but was rather surprised to see you sampling the strains you were reviewing out of straight glass! I'd presume you'd vape or use water. I do vape and use my bubbler on occasion, but I've always smoked out of straight glass and it's worked well so far. Flavor-wise, there's some difference, but usually the taste presents itself either way. Great observation, though.
Best strains for baked goods? Best strains for smoking? Opinion of oils? Infusions are less about the type of herb and more about the method you use to get it in there. Avoid something with a ton of terpenes that will change the flavor, unless you want Sour Diesel flavored brownies. Smoking? Depends on what you're looking for. Oils are great if they're made correctly. I hate smoking residual solvents.
Are you looking for an intern? My pot drawer is becoming a bit unruly.
Who is your favorite muppet? The two old guys who I just realized are critics. Right?
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