10 Cheesy Marketing Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone

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Math of the Storm: A Farewell

An Apology

This article has taken too long to write. The effective cancellation of Heroes of the Storm at the end of 2018 was painful. I had found a real community and started to get to more personally know some of the personalities. I had attended Blizzcon that year and personally met so many of the casters and streamers I had grown to admire, making that unique personal connection that can only happen at LANs. While it wasn’t my first blizzcon, it was the first one I had a chance to go behind the scenes to do an interview with developers I had only previously pestered on Reddit and Twitter. Going from that high to less than two months later functionally losing the community I had grown so close to was crushing. I continued to play the game regularly for another six months in hopes that the attempts at a semi-pro scene would pan out, but it was too quickly clear that a combination of naturally weak viewership numbers and chaos behind the scenes doomed the effort. I don’t mean to dismiss the ongoing efforts at community tournaments and those who stream the game at a high level, but in combination with the reality of my then-imminent graduation from college it was time to move on to the next phase of my life.

My Time in HotS

https://i.imgur.com/fsUoAno.png?1
I first got into Heroes of the Storm in May 2014, when Kerrigan’s overtuned passive and Maelstrom heroic made her the meta. I remember being in high school checking my email when it came in - I was allowed into the technical alpha. The game was radically different then, with barely two dozen heroes many iterations away from the current progression system. My first patch was about a week later with the introduction of Murky. With only four maps and barely any streamers, the game was a novel break from my on-again off-again relationship with League of Legends at the time. In an echo of the future, I was leaving the League of Legends Dominion community as it fell apart from a lack of official support from Riot.
I continued to play Heroes of the Storm through the alpha and beta, vocally protesting the addition of Artifacts while appreciating active developers who were genuinely interested in making a better designed game that learned from the mistakes of the past and weren’t shackled to golden cows created by the limitations of the Warcraft 3 map editor. More importantly, the vision of an average game length of 20 minutes, rather than 40, was appealing to me as I became an adult with responsibilities and smaller blocks of play time (what had brought me to Dominion).
While some people writing retrospectives on the game would cite the overproduced and underwhelming launch as a sign of things to come, I must admit I actually missed it - I was away working at a summer camp in 2015, a time that led me to begin playing Hearthstone. When I came back months later just before the Artanis early release the game had changed dramatically, with a snowballing melee monster of Butcher and a real tank addition in Johanna, not to mention two new maps to raise the total from six to eight. I delved back into the game enthusiastically as I also began a new chapter of my life in college.
The next year and a half is a bit of a blur - I attended Cloud 9’s historic Blizzcon victory for North America in 2015, but I wouldn’t consider myself an esport aficionado over the course of the next year. The competitive community grew and changed though, and I began to follow high level metas more closely. By May 2017, three years ago, I had enough of bad theorycraft and poorly understood mechanics and wrote my first post on HeroesHearth and submitted it to Reddit. It was exhilarating stepping into the world of content creation, and while I appreciated all the reactions, only one of these comments has stuck with me
You so smart and make it easy to comprehend. I need a cigarette to digest this information. Well thank you sir
This comment has remained a meme between my girlfriend and I, and has actually served as a bit of a north star - as much as I love tackling high level concepts and nuanced theory craft for top level play, Math of the Storm was ultimately a series that tried to break down advanced ideas for the general audience. The comments on my articles were almost always positive and educational, helping me grow as a content creator and writer. I want to deeply thank everyone who took time out of their days to post a question, something funny, or their own insight in the replies - while Reddit sometimes gets a bad rap, I’ve always found it warm and welcoming.

To the Developers

The Heroes development team was and is something special. Not only has it acted as a steward of every single Blizzard IP, but the relentless drive towards innovation and improving the design of the game kept Heroes of the Storm above and beyond the competition for me. While the talent system has never and probably never will be perfectly implemented, the fundamentals of unique and exciting ways to enhance your champion as the game progresses is simply a better base from which to start a game than the eclectic and problematic item system. The core math of the game providing exponential rather than linear boosts to power per level shows a willingness to break away from the constraints of pen and paper RPGs and utilize the power of computers to provide a better play experience. The variety of maps, which are all built left to right rather than bottom left to top right, shows the developers are willing to move beyond the engine constraints of Warcraft 3. Simply put, the developers were willing to see something greater than “Blizzard DOTA”, rethinking the play systems from the ground up to make a uniquely better game.
This isn’t to say the game wasn’t without warts - the implementation of the talent system sometimes left heroes with dull one note builds, not to mention the actual difficulties of balancing power levels. I don’t have the data insights to say which combination of “casual” marketing, a missing framework for those “casual” players to become “competitive”, and simply being late to market is truly responsible for the game’s current state, but it’s clear the game did not have the success the core design deserved. I will say I don’t believe the game truly had the degree of “matchmaking issues” many players, including high level ones, ascribed to the game’s downfall - identical complaints reliant on misunderstandings of statistics exist across every competitive game I’ve ever played. What “issues” I think exist(ed) are exclusively the domain of top ELO play, where the developers have to choose between top players getting fair matches and having to wait lengthy periods of time for games to pop.
I will also say here that I believe the general issues that Overwatch has also been facing are in part due to Blizzard’s complete and total failure to deliver a better social system in the past four years. While I lack special insight into the corporate engineering that sabotaged “blizzard social”, my understanding is that the original plan in 2016 was for a Bnet-wide guild/clan system that would integrate all of their multiplayers games. I assume technical hurdles with WoW’s archaic systems were amongst the issues, but both Heroes of the Storm and Overwatch desperately need(ed) better social systems to remain competitive in the gaming marketplace.

Concluding Remarks

While this is a farewell to the Heroes of the Storm community, I truly bear no ill wishes and hope those that stay find enjoyment in their games to come. If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to, I’ve spent the last year in the D&D Eberron community. I’ve authored an entire series of dmsguild supplements investigating the politics of the setting, and am a contributing author on the Platinum best-seller Eberronicon, a pocket guide to the setting.
submitted by ChaosOS to heroesofthestorm [link] [comments]

Waluigi's Ongoing Identity Crisis: Get Your Tinfoil Hats Ready

https://www.reddit.com/SmashBrosUltimate/comments/he8vek/pov_you_request_for_waluigi_to_be_put_in_smash/
So, I ended up in a discussion in the comments of the above post concerning the development of Waluigi as a playable character. Namely, I suggested that Sakurai isn't including Waluigi yet because he doesn't have a real understanding of who Waluigi is as a character. Understandably, others argued that Waluigi is more developed than other characters included in the roster, like Mr. Game & Watch or Piranha Plant.
At the same time, though, I couldn't help but wonder: Do we really even know who Waluigi is?
Like, baseline, in a meta sense, we know he was originally designed simply as a doubles partner to team up with Wario in Mario Tennis (2000). At the same time, that's 20 years of showing up as the sixth ranger to Mushroom Kingdom's human cast without getting a main game of his own. He's showed up more than Pauline and Prof. E. Gadd, but he doesn't really have anywhere he fits in the story.

Luigi's Rival? Didn't show up during the Year of Luigi for so much as a curtain call. Most of Waluigi's bios in the Mario Sports games suggest that his title as Luigi's Rival is self-imposed. Some of those bios also suggest that Waluigi trains intensely in private to surpass the Mario Bros at sporting events for popularity and accomplishment's sake, but the Mario Brothers barely acknowledge him as even a threat, let alone a rival.
Wario's... Brother? Wario's Cousin? Wario's... Partner in Crime? We have bios that can't give a clear statement or even contradicting statements on their relationship, and the closest we really get to Wario and Waluigi being friends are some cutscenes where they are buddied up together from Power Tennis and the "good chemistry" they have with each other in some sports games. Otherwise, we haven't seen Waluigi show up in any Wario Land/Wario World games (though the last one of those was Shake It back in 2008... Wow, they need to revisit that franchise), and the closest we get is in WarioWare is one of Wario's lame drawings uncovered by use of an amiibo in WarioWare Gold, only the most recent game even acknowledging they so much as know each other. No other easter eggs, quips, or character models present. Only Obligatory Teammates.
And concerning his relations with the other characters, the best clues we get are from the interactions in Fortune Street, a rather niche title unto itself that isn't well-marketed in the west, and the team names from Mario Party 5, 6, 8, and DS. And the best we can really get from that is that Waluigi's become friendlier over the years, going from having team names like Anti-Couple and Unhappy Dinosaur in Mario Party 5 & 6 with Peach and Yoshi, respectively, to Black Peaches and Purple Dinos in Mario Party DS. Bland, but not as hostile. The one interesting note is that Waluigi's team names with Toad and Toadette in Mario Party 5 & 6 are the bizarrely amicable titles of Tall'n'Small and Diabolical Duo, suggesting the Toad people never took issue with him and maybe an underground friendship with Toadette. But that's circumstantial evidence at best.
So, if not Luigi's official rival or Wario's best friend, the two titles we can best define Waluigi as, who is he? Even when he gets glimpses of the limelight, he's overshadowed by someone else. In Mario Party 3, after whomping Bowser in a 1-on-1 fight, he gets upstaged as the final boss by the false Millenium Star. In Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix, where it starts out as his scheme, he's only the introductory boss and is soon written out of the story. Even when he wins, he loses.

Okay, maybe we're going about this all wrong. After all, if we simply define Waluigi by his relationships, we merely follow the meta definition of him being developed as Wario's call to Mario's Luigi and that's it.
So, if we were to describe some of Waluigi's abilities, we have the nature of Whirl-luigi and the ability to swim through the air from the Mario Tennis franchise and Mario Hoops special abilities, creating small tornadoes and changing the water vapor in the air into a swimmable substance, I suppose? I guess that might make him something of Luigi's rival, if we were to say it's the wind and rain elements to Luigi's lightning powers to complete the storm, but that's a bit of a stretch as they aren't consistently used abilities.
We're informed he's proud of his cheating abilities, but as party games need to be fair, of course we don't see any real cheating mechanics in-game. The closest is his Liar Ball from the Mario Sluggers series, but saying he's cheating there is kind of like complaining about Dick Dastardly cheating in Wacky Races. Mario lights the Baseball on fire, whether he's pitching or hitting, and Daisy can grow a spontaneous garden. Wario and Bowser literally use bombs! Saying Waluigi using mild slight of hand while pitching is scarcely close to cheating.
Physically speaking, he has powerful legs but otherwise seems to focus on finesse as opposed to any type of power, making him proficient in tool-based games. Otherwise, given his regular appearance in Mario Party and sports games, it can be deduced his physical skills are at least on par with the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom cast.
He also has an affinity for plants, as shown by him wielding a Piranha Plant initially in duels from Mario Party 3, having the Whiskered Eggplant as a food and a tool to poison batters in Mario Sluggers and his ability to conjure briar plants en masse in the Mario Strikers games. Honestly, with the affiliation with noxious plants, he almost feels more like a male Wadaisy than a Waluigi.
Granted, Daisy is the only other character relationship we haven't discussed. Waluigi is supposedly infatuated with Daisy, but it's difficult to tell if he's really interested or if it's just a part of his rivalry with Luigi as the info only comes in bios, not cutscenes where Waluigi flirts with Daisy. It could be conjectured that he comes from Sarasaland as well, due to their early tan/sunburn compared to the pale skin of the other humans in their early appearances. The team name transition from Awkward Date in Mario Party 5 to Skinny Stars in Mario Party DS suggests that he might have gotten over the infatuation and agreed to be more of a friendly rival with Daisy, but that's still only conjecture.
Speaking of information from bios, despite his affiliation with plant life, Mario Kart Wii says that he owns Mushroom Kingdom's largest Motor Oil refinery, and Stadium Arena and Waluigi Stadium from Mario Kart Arcade GP 2 suggests he has an interest in mechanical attractions like animatronic dinosaurs, further compounded by the suggestion that he designed and built the Waluigi Pinball courses in other Mario Kart games.
Machines, plants, elements... There's not really a pin on a theme with Waluigi. Sure, there's his drive to be Number One, the Superstar, and otherwise just defeat the competition, but that's the only true drive we see from him: beating others. Not Daisy, not gold, not some material value. Just being the winner and possibly the adoration that comes from being the center of attention.

I guess we have to turn to the last source of evidence we have for Waluigi's identity: the fandom. I have been able to isolate at least four strains of Waluigi from the fandom consensus, so let's discuss those a moment:
And I feel really stupid, because while I'm sure there are plenty of people who would suggest that this is Waluigi's personality and that's why he's popular, but do any of these really define who the wannabe villain is? There are those who suggest Waluigi can just have a moveset based off of the sports games, but between Wii Fit Trainer's side-B and Peach and Daisy's smash attack, what sport aspect isn't being represented? That's golf, tennis, and soccefutbol. It feels like suggesting that Waluigi could have a Mario Party-based moveset with throwing a die as a Side-B that's a combination between Mr. Game & Watch's hammer and Link's bomb where the explosion effect depends on the die's result and having a Final Smash that is just using an invincibility star that lasts twice as long to just let Waluigi be Waluigi and no one else can do a thing about it. Sure, he has a wide range of tools and powers that could fill a moveset, but which one would be the essence of Waluigi?

Okay, time to get the point across. Fan of Waluigi that I am, I have to admit that Waluigi has never been given an official role besides "Wario's Luigi". Granted, I don't think Aoki and Iwata originally expected the purple powerhouse to be as popular as he's come to be.
Like, let me get his across, if it weren't for the black overalls, white gloves, and purple cap, I might not have even guessed Waluigi was a Mario character. If he wasn't in his cloned costume, I might have guessed he was a Wayforward character just looking at him, like a beta model for Bolo. Granted, it's due to his relatively normal proportions compared to the Mario Bros, but I think I would have thought he was related to Shantae, like, using Wreck-It Ralph/Roger Rabbit logic, he was Shantae's younger brother who got lost at the Nintendo convention, wandering around the N64 pavilion while looking for the Game Boy Color platform, when Wario grabbed him and signed him up for the Mario Tennis roster, further suggested when Mario Tennis was released on Game Boy Color about a year after the N64 release.
I wouldn't even be surprised that, if Waluigi ever got his own game, there was a running gag that Waluigi is just a pseudonym he uses to play himself up as being the Mario Bros' equal. Not his real name. Just a title he took for Wario's sake. He could be just a member of Wario's billionaires' club who was just humored at the idea of a game of tennis before he realized how insane the Marioverse was and had to step up his game. An oil baron who got in over his head which led to him becoming the Mushroom Kingdom's poster child for Psychosis Awareness Month.

And that's the thing, suggesting that "Waluigi isn't Waluigi" stems to almost being a matter of titling this post "Your tinfoil hat must be this tall to read this article".
This is why Waluigi needs to be in a proper game to define himself before he can join Super Smash Bros. He needs a proper identity!
submitted by HarleyKWen to Waluigi [link] [comments]

Tips on how to build your brand: step one, STOP BEING SO SALTY

I am a marketing major with a minor in studio art. I worked my butt off to make connections with people and build communities on Twitter, Insragram, and discord. I posted in MANY reddit forums, got added to so many advertising discord servers it's not even funny. I made my own panels to fit my vibe and my character that I wanted to portray to my viewers. I spoke to everyone who dropped in my chat, I kept up lovely bants for the people who decided to stay.
And you know who made affiliate in 14 days after hard grinding? ME.
And yet I see so many people salty towards me for it. Why? Why be salty? I GRINDED, and on top of it I am more than happy to share my technique. But you wont like it, because it requires actual hard work. The amount of people I see in these streamer communities (not all of them are like this, but too many for their own good) are too focused on streaming for HOURS to nobody. They dont want to market themselves as their product. They want it to come easy.
Streaming isnt EASY work. You have to always be on, you have to always be friendly. You have to be a person people want to watch and support. You can't just play video games. You have to build your brand.
Sorry for the rant, but I've had too many people ask me "how did you do it so fast" yet when I tell them they respond "that's too much work".
So my advice for everyone in this subreddit is to pull up your pants and learn that this type of thing takes WORK. Don't be salty. Change your mindset and get affiliate!
submitted by finmommy420 to Twitch_Startup [link] [comments]

[Cosplay/Conventions] UPDATE POST - Warped Con refuses to pay competition winning cosplayer for reasons not in the rules. Streisand effect ensues.

Hey Hobby Drama! A few months ago a situation of mine ended up on here https://www.reddit.com/HobbyDrama/comments/du1nd5/cosplayconventions_warped_con_revokes_first_place/ and I just wanted to correct some of the errors/fill some holes AND give an update to the situation!
SO here’s what happened and how i caused a scandal haha.
I’m a cosplayer from the UK. I entered my Cersei Lannister costume into the contest at Warped Con, which had an advertised prize of £750. It was a first time event, so having a prize this high in the uk (rare) had me all *cash eyes* haha. My costume took me two years to make from hand (it has blacksmithing and over 500 hours of hand embroidery! https://www.instagram.com/p/B16WLy2DyOH/ ) This costume is the complete love of my life. So I attended the event with my friend, and I was lucky enough to win 1st place! My friend I attended with won 3rd place. Happy days.
Fast forward 3 months. The terms and conditions of the contest stated that we would receive our prizes within 12 weeks of the competition. I had not had any communication from the convention since the event. I had had a couple of emails and received my certificate from the team who had been externally hired in to coordinate the contest, however they informed me that Warped Con had decided to pay all the winners directly instead of through their company, so there was nothing more they could do. I knew this company already, as I had been brought in to judge a convention contest for them in April, however I was not and am not an employee of this company. ANYWAY.
Its the week of the final week of the payment deadline. I email the con. I attempt to call them. I instagram message them. I facebook message them. I do not get a response to a single one of my messages asking very politely when I will be paid. The day the deadline passes (halloween funnily enough) I message them to say that if i didn't get a response, I would be seeking legal action to claim my money. They responded early in the morning as you can see, https://i.imgur.com/JIRrKZN.jpg threatening me, but very clearly stating that I will be paid my money and they acknowledge that I am owed this. From the language theyre using, I totally got the gist that these two middle ages white male conservatives didnt enjoy that a little girl in a dress was telling them off.
As you can see from their message, 20 minutes after their message to me stating that I am owed the money, they make a facebook status.
Status can be seen in the other post. Basically they’re ‘apologising for the delay in paying the competition winners’ and state that this was because they were ‘investigating’ me as they conveniently received reports that I had colluded with the judges to win, and they had decided now to disqualify me for breaching their rules for being associated with the competition organisation (their evidence for this rested on the fact that i was facebook friends with the organiser of the comp, because yknow, thats how us cosplayers do our marketing. sigh) and would be bumping up the other winners (with them somehow magically producing a 4th place winner out of their ass that DEFINITELY wasn’t a friend of theirs. Anyway there are 4 major issues with this:
  1. I had never met the judges before that day and to this day cannot even remember who they were
  2. Twenty minutes before the status they said in black and white they would be paying me my money.
  3. NOWHERE in the rules of the competition does it state that you may not have any association with the organisation or judges. If this was a rule, noone in the uk cosplay scene would be allowed to compete. I archived the page of their website and downloaded the dated pdf of the rules so they couldnt try and retroactively change it, and yeah. This isnt a rule they had. https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HlMWdLaBttcaJgBvmSZ19LY_4dRL8vR9/view?usp=sharing
  4. My friend who won 3rd place in the competition, who they were still planning to award the prize, had judged an event for said organisational company, ONE WEEK BEFORE WARPED CON, showing that their ‘investigation’ was completely fabricated.
SO THEN I make a facebook post about the situation, and all hell breaks loose. Warped ban me from their facebook page so I’m unable to defend myself in the comments. Hundreds and hundreds of people, friends and strangers, proceed to meme the shit out of warped con. The post gets hundreds of shares from all over the world, everyone supporting me. Its great and funny but I just remember how I rang my friend up after seeing their post in floods of tears. Its stupid, but I put so much passion and love into that costume, so to be basically told that it isn’t possible for me to win with it unless I cheated? That fucking stung.
Eventually they delete that post after being sufficiently dunked on. They then make a second post, doubling down, and delete all the comments. A couple of days later comes a THIRD post and things don’t get any better. During all this I’m still not able to defend myself publically to their slander of me as I’m banned from commenting on their page. Eventually they end up deleting all their social media. Their website was quite comedically changed to just read ‘nope’ https://warpedcon.com/ About 3 weeks after this whole disaster, they eventually pay the new winners. So 2nd place got my £750, 3rd got 2nd’s £425 and the ‘4th’ got 3rd’s £275.
In the meantime while all this was going on, (besides me doing an interview with bbc news?!) I was preparing a legal claim through small claims court. You see, with just the basic ‘i entered competition, they didn’t pay, i want my money’ I already had a case. However what they then did on their social media, increased my likelihood of winning a case TENFOLD. It’s like they were collecting my evidence for me. Their poorly thought out responses gave me comments such as them contradicting themselves and stating they don’t think the judges were biased at all for example. My personal favourite is them admitting that no, this wasn’t in the published terms and conditions of the competition however they decided to make ‘cant be affiliated with the organisation’ an INTERNAL rule for them. Because yknow, thats totally a legally binding rule.
So I submit my legal claim. I ask for the full amount of money, plus the monetary equivalent of a vip ticket (which was supposed to be part of the prize too), plus the legal fees I had to pay that were £60, plus taxes. Because I was just being SLIGHTLY petty. I provide a full timeline of events, a plethora of evidence, and off it goes. They have 14 days to respond to it and are allowed to request an extension. Surprise surprise, on the 14th day at 4pm, they request an extension. Another 14 days (we’re at the beginning of December now) and they respond, rejecting my claim. Honestly, I wish I could post their response in the legal documents, because it was genuinely hilarious. They had one paragraph of misspelled text, half of which had been copy and pasted from a wikipedia article irrelevant to our situation, and their only piece of ‘evidence’ was, QUOTE ‘beth and the competition organiser are facebook friends’ thats IT. Their ENTIRE case of collusion rides on the fact that we’re friends on facebook. Never mind so are all the other winners that they didn’t disqualify because they didn’t threaten legal action or cause a fuss, nope, just me.
So I’m obviously like pft if thats all their evidence, this will be an easy win. So i reject ther response and we moved forward. I get a call from a mediator, and I speak to her. She asks if i would be willing to set up mediation with them to try and find a solution, and when I explain how they’ve been deliberately waiting till the last hour of the legal deadline, she states she’s going to forward it straight to court. Christmas hits, and I’m asked to submit all my evidence and legal docs etc. I do so. It’s now the second week of January, we’re due to receive our court date in about a week, and I get this email which genuinely made me jump up from my office desk at work.
https://i.imgur.com/JHkPn6Q.png
As you can see its entirely bullshit (they blocked me, not them) and their ‘apology’ in the next email is even more bullshit (the £60 is me saying ‘cool i will accept your offer if you’ll cover the legal fees ive paid so far)
https://i.imgur.com/qEXyYZe.jpg
However I know that THEY know its bullshit. And I known they would have been SQUIRMING having to write that email. Its obvious they sought legal advice and realised that they were going to lose, badly. One hilarious thing to note, is that because of their tantrum and not paying me in the first place, this whole debacle ended up with them having to pay an extra £1300 ON TOP OF the original prize money for everyone (because they bumped everyone up, THEN paid me hahahaha)
Week goes by, and FINALLY I have the money in my bank account. I preordered the special edition animal crossing nintendo switch, and bought a 3d printer for my cosplays.
Anyway fuck Warped Con, I got my money and will continue to cause a fuss against companies that try and screw cosplayers out of money.
I seem to cause at least 2 international cosplay scandals a year, so feel free to follow my instagram, @ amazoniancos to keep up with them bc they’re always juicy. Also I make cool costumes. Thanks <3

EDIT: Seeing as some fuckwad is accusing me of ommitting information to 'hide my poor behaviour' because I dared to make a joke in a drama subreddit about having had a couple of dramas, despite all these screenshots being in the links in the previous post, heres the messaged I had sent to warped before they sent their message i screenshotted above, along with a tweet I made before it. Not pictured because I can't find scaps, the EXTREMELY professional emails I sent over the 3 months of waiting with no communication, and the phonecall voicemail I left on their answering machine. https://imgur.com/a/ZhFtLKA
submitted by _River_Song_ to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]

Waluigi's Ongoing Identity Crisis: Prepare Your Tinfoil Hats

https://www.reddit.com/SmashBrosUltimate/comments/he8vek/pov_you_request_for_waluigi_to_be_put_in_smash/
So, I ended up in a discussion in the comments of the above post concerning the development of Waluigi as a playable character. Namely, I suggested that Sakurai isn't including Waluigi yet because he doesn't have a real understanding of who Waluigi is as a character. Understandably, others argued that Waluigi is more developed than other characters included in the roster, like Mr. Game & Watch or Piranha Plant.
At the same time, though, I couldn't help but wonder: Do we really even know who Waluigi is?
Like, baseline, in a meta sense, we know he was originally designed simply as a doubles partner to team up with Wario in Mario Tennis (2000). At the same time, that's 20 years of showing up as the sixth ranger to Mushroom Kingdom's human cast without getting a main game of his own. He's showed up more than Pauline and Prof. E. Gadd, but he doesn't really have anywhere he fits in the story.

Luigi's Rival? Didn't show up during the Year of Luigi for so much as a curtain call. Most of Waluigi's bios in the Mario Sports games suggest that his title as Luigi's Rival is self-imposed. Some of those bios also suggest that Waluigi trains intensely in private to surpass the Mario Bros at sporting events for popularity and accomplishment's sake, but the Mario Brothers barely acknowledge him as even a threat, let alone a rival.
Wario's... Brother? Wario's Cousin? Wario's... Partner in Crime? We have bios that can't give a clear statement or even contradicting statements on their relationship, and the closest we really get to Wario and Waluigi being friends are some cutscenes where they are buddied up together from Power Tennis and the "good chemistry" they have with each other in some sports games. Otherwise, we haven't seen Waluigi show up in any Wario Land/Wario World games (though the last one of those was Shake It back in 2008... Wow, they need to revisit that franchise), and the closest we get is in WarioWare is one of Wario's lame drawings uncovered by use of an amiibo in WarioWare Gold, only the most recent game even acknowledging they so much as know each other. No other easter eggs, quips, or character models present. Only Obligatory Teammates.
And concerning his relations with the other characters, the best clues we get are from the interactions in Fortune Street, a rather niche title unto itself that isn't well-marketed in the west, and the team names from Mario Party 5, 6, 8, and DS. And the best we can really get from that is that Waluigi's become friendlier over the years, going from having team names like Anti-Couple and Unhappy Dinosaur in Mario Party 5 & 6 with Peach and Yoshi, respectively, to Black Peaches and Purple Dinos in Mario Party DS. Bland, but not as hostile. The one interesting note is that Waluigi's team names with Toad and Toadette in Mario Party 5 & 6 are the bizarrely amicable titles of Tall'n'Small and Diabolical Duo, suggesting the Toad people never took issue with him and maybe an underground friendship with Toadette. But that's circumstantial evidence at best.
So, if not Luigi's official rival or Wario's best friend, the two titles we can best define Waluigi as, who is he? Even when he gets glimpses of the limelight, he's overshadowed by someone else. In Mario Party 3, after whomping Bowser in a 1-on-1 fight, he gets upstaged as the final boss by the false Millenium Star. In Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix, where it starts out as his scheme, he's only the introductory boss and is soon written out of the story. Even when he wins, he loses.

Okay, maybe we're going about this all wrong. After all, if we simply define Waluigi by his relationships, we merely follow the meta definition of him being developed as Wario's call to Mario's Luigi and that's it.
So, if we were to describe some of Waluigi's abilities, we have the nature of Whirl-luigi and the ability to swim through the air from the Mario Tennis franchise and Mario Hoops special abilities, creating small tornadoes and changing the water vapor in the air into a swimmable substance, I suppose? I guess that might make him something of Luigi's rival, if we were to say it's the wind and rain elements to Luigi's lightning powers to complete the storm, but that's a bit of a stretch as they aren't consistently used abilities.
We're informed he's proud of his cheating abilities, but as party games need to be fair, of course we don't see any real cheating mechanics in-game. The closest is his Liar Ball from the Mario Sluggers series, but saying he's cheating there is kind of like complaining about Dick Dastardly cheating in Wacky Races. Mario lights the Baseball on fire, whether he's pitching or hitting, and Daisy can grow a spontaneous garden. Wario and Bowser literally use bombs! Saying Waluigi using mild slight of hand while pitching is scarcely close to cheating.
Physically speaking, he has powerful legs but otherwise seems to focus on finesse as opposed to any type of power, making him proficient in tool-based games. Otherwise, given his regular appearance in Mario Party and sports games, it can be deduced his physical skills are at least on par with the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom cast.
He also has an affinity for plants, as shown by him wielding a Piranha Plant initially in duels from Mario Party 3, having the Whiskered Eggplant as a food and a tool to poison batters in Mario Sluggers and his ability to conjure briar plants en masse in the Mario Strikers games. Honestly, with the affiliation with noxious plants, he almost feels more like a male Wadaisy than a Waluigi.
Granted, Daisy is the only other character relationship we haven't discussed. Waluigi is supposedly infatuated with Daisy, but it's difficult to tell if he's really interested or if it's just a part of his rivalry with Luigi as the info only comes in bios, not cutscenes where Waluigi flirts with Daisy. It could be conjectured that he comes from Sarasaland as well, due to their early tan/sunburn compared to the pale skin of the other humans in their early appearances. The team name transition from Awkward Date in Mario Party 5 to Skinny Stars in Mario Party DS suggests that he might have gotten over the infatuation and agreed to be more of a friendly rival with Daisy, but that's still only conjecture.
Speaking of information from bios, despite his affiliation with plant life, Mario Kart Wii says that he owns Mushroom Kingdom's largest Motor Oil refinery, and Stadium Arena and Waluigi Stadium from Mario Kart Arcade GP 2 suggests he has an interest in mechanical attractions like animatronic dinosaurs, further compounded by the suggestion that he designed and built the Waluigi Pinball courses in other Mario Kart games.
Machines, plants, elements... There's not really a pin on a theme with Waluigi. Sure, there's his drive to be Number One, the Superstar, and otherwise just defeat the competition, but that's the only true drive we see from him: beating others. Not Daisy, not gold, not some material value. Just being the winner and possibly the adoration that comes from being the center of attention.

I guess we have to turn to the last source of evidence we have for Waluigi's identity: the fandom. I have been able to isolate at least four strains of Waluigi from the fandom consensus, so let's discuss those a moment:
And I feel really stupid, because while I'm sure there are plenty of people who would suggest that this is Waluigi's personality and that's why he's popular, but do any of these really define who the wannabe villain is? There are those who suggest Waluigi can just have a moveset based off of the sports games, but between Wii Fit Trainer's side-B and Peach and Daisy's smash attack, what sport aspect isn't being represented? That's golf, tennis, and soccefutbol. It feels like suggesting that Waluigi could have a Mario Party-based moveset with throwing a die as a Side-B that's a combination between Mr. Game & Watch's hammer and Link's bomb where the explosion effect depends on the die's result and having a Final Smash that is just using an invincibility star that lasts twice as long to just let Waluigi be Waluigi and no one else can do a thing about it. Sure, he has a wide range of tools and powers that could fill a moveset, but which one would be the essence of Waluigi?

Okay, time to get the point across. Fan of Waluigi that I am, I have to admit that Waluigi has never been given an official role besides "Wario's Luigi". Granted, I don't think Aoki and Iwata originally expected the purple powerhouse to be as popular as he's come to be.
Like, let me get his across, if it weren't for the black overalls, white gloves, and purple cap, I might not have even guessed Waluigi was a Mario character. If he wasn't in his cloned costume, I might have guessed he was a Wayforward character just looking at him, like a beta model for Bolo. Granted, it's due to his relatively normal proportions compared to the Mario Bros, but I think I would have thought he was related to Shantae, like, using Wreck-It Ralph/Roger Rabbit logic, he was Shantae's younger brother who got lost at the Nintendo convention, wandering around the N64 pavilion while looking for the Game Boy Color platform, when Wario grabbed him and signed him up for the Mario Tennis roster, further suggested when Mario Tennis was released on Game Boy Color about a year after the N64 release.
I wouldn't even be surprised that, if Waluigi ever got his own game, there was a running gag that Waluigi is just a pseudonym he uses to play himself up as being the Mario Bros' equal. Not his real name. Just a title he took for Wario's sake. He could be just a member of Wario's billionaires' club who was just humored at the idea of a game of tennis before he realized how insane the Marioverse was and had to step up his game. An oil baron who got in over his head which led to him becoming the Mushroom Kingdom's poster child for Psychosis Awareness Month.

And that's the thing, suggesting that "Waluigi isn't Waluigi" stems to almost being a matter of titling this post "Your tinfoil hat must be this tall to read this article".
This is why Waluigi needs to be in a proper game to define himself before he can join Super Smash Bros. He needs a proper identity!
submitted by HarleyKWen to SmashBrosUltimate [link] [comments]

I hit my first $5,000+/month. Here's every mistake I made on the way.

The headline is more to grab your attention than to brag because the rest of this post is not going to be nearly as sexy. I wanted to write this post for people who are struggling to make their first $1,000 or $5,000 - I want to give you an inside look to how I did this, not overnight, but what the ugly, drawn-out process looked like for me.
There's no get-rich-quick tips here. There's no "hacks." No "shortcuts." I'm a very unlucky person who feels very lucky to be able to make this amount from my laptop at home while dealing with my endless medical issues.

Background information about the business:

Tidbit about me for context:

Starting Expenses:

How I Hit $5,000/Month + All The Mistakes Made:

I didn't really know what a virtual assistant was or how long I had been doing it. I was roughly 18-19 years old, homeless (couch surfing), and needed money fast.
I looked at Craigslist's "odd jobs." Found a job from a now popular porn site that paid people $35/hour with a $250 bonus, to label like 800 porn videos in 1 week. I was making about $1,000/week doing this but being young and naive, spent it all at once thinking that this money would always be there.
Then they outsourced to India and every American lost their job.
Mistake #1: I put all my eggs in one basket.
From here, I continued to make this mistake. I made a good amount off of Fiverr, only to get my account closed because a client complained about something I don't recall doing (I rather not call her a liar). If it's on WorkOnline and doesn't require a degree, I've probably been there, done that, and continued to put all my eggs in one basket until I burned myself out.
Mistake #2: Lack of self-care/sleep because I wanted to "grind/hustle" = Burn out = Declining mental health = Poor sleep habits = Poor eating habits = Poor hygiene habits = Health problems = etc.
This phase of my life was a blur, but a very important blur because here, I was trial and error-ing different things I could do. I was blogging. I was messing around on Twitter with tools like HootSuite and MeetEdgar. I made websites on Wordpress and Wix and Blogger. I took $5/hour slavelabour-style jobs because it's all I was qualified to do.
If I didn't know how to do it, I didn't let the client know. I Googled and spent hours on the forgotten corners of internet forums and Reddit, hoping to find the answer to a hopeless problem.
I didn't sleep much or slept too much. My mental health went ignored. I literally started hallucinating and having meltdowns, which eventually led to my divorce, which will be more relevant later on.
Mistake #3: I widely underestimated what people were willing to throw money at.
Eventually, I learned what a "virtual assistant" was and called myself that. I also learned that a lot of people will pay you to do simple things they can't be arsed to do themselves - like upload a blog post, write an email, or do customer support. Or label porn.
Think of a virtual assistant as a virtual "nanny" or "nurse" who does everything for the business/entrepreneur so the business/entrepreneur can focus on making money.
(You're probably wondering where I found my clients. Upwork. Craigslist. Seriously.)
By this time, I was making about $1,000/month - which is barely enough to live on. I apply for food stamps to eat, at this point.
I slogged like this for a few more years, until my ex-husband had a mid-life crisis. He kicked me and the kids out.
Mistake #4: Being comfortable. Not having a savings/emergency fund.
My credit score sucks due to poor money decisions (don't worry, I'm subscribed to personalfinance and leanfire now to learn money handling skills) so I couldn't take out a loan to move. My Discord friends and 3 IRL friends (I don't have family, it's just me) loaned me about $500 altogether. I told all of my clients what was happening - partially so they could find a replacement or expect me to go MIA.
To my surprise, ALL OF THEM, immediately asked, "How can I help?" One of my clients gave me a $500 advance on our retainer and contracted me to set up a Squarespace website for another $500. Another client put together a PDF of resources for single mothers and government assistance.
I spent every penny I made as a virtual assistant, on this move.
There is something life shaking about being homeless and alone (which I was when I started this journey). There's something terrifying about the idea of being homeless and alone - especially when children are involved.
This is the turning point that lit a fire under my ass.
I set a goal to hit $5,000/month by December 2019 - 3 virtual assistance clients at $1,000/month a pop and 4 writing clients at $600/month. I also take side projects that are non-retainer.
Problem? I was very fucking alone.
Mistake #5: Underestimating the power of people. Being a dick. Thinking I knew better. Shitting on coaches and guru's that I've never met.
Here was my strategy, since I don't have friends, ad spend money, or time:
I don't have a "page" by the way. This is all my personal account. I did this religiously for 2 weeks and posted a lot of business-related memes. I shared stories about labeling porn. People laughed and told me they really liked my "energy." They felt safe.
I went into Facebook groups and answered peoples questions and calmed them down when they had business issues. "My email marketing tool is not sending out my broadcasts" "I am not reaching over 10% open rate in my emails." All those years of Googling and slogging away paid off.
Where do coaches and gurus come in? They have an audience. I learned that they are not necessarily going to make you rich but they are a pay to play model. I joined some girl-power group led by a guru ($15/month) and bought myself into her audience. I told her straight up, "Look, I'm trying to book out and this is what I do. Here's my website." She blasted my info to her audience. I ate a slice of humble pie and stopped doing the shit-on-coaches crap.
My funny memes? People shared them.
Every time someone offered "free coaching calls" I took them up on it. I wrote glowing reviews, which they SHARED. For the last month, people in these circles constantly saw my name and face. If these coaches and gurus with thousands of followers were vouching for me, I am trustworthy, and if I am trustworthy, my website is worth looking at.
The rest was a waiting game. If people emailed me, I emailed back within 6 hours. If they inquired about me on Facebook messenger, I messaged back the same day.
People booked calls with me and talked to me. I had to talk to a lot of people before someone finally said yes, but who the fuck cares. THEY SAID YES.
This weekend, I booked out. I had to decline two people this morning because I just don't have time for more clients. I put them on a waitlist. But now I've secured $5,000/month minimum on retainer clients and I'm building my waitlist.
Also, paid all my friends back.
But, this brings me to my latest mistake:
Mistake #6: No source of passive income and capping income.
I've capped myself at $5,000/month :( So... what the hell do I do now?
I'm going to create a source of passive income which I won't talk about here so it doesn't become a pitch. I'll attempt to scale it to $5,000/month. After that, I'm going to convert my virtual assistance clients to digital marketing clients and work on commission so my income ceiling is higher. I've never made more than $5,000/month so I don't know what I don't know and I intend to continue making mistakes along the way.
Also, this subreddit hates coaches, but the majority of my clients are coaches. Best part? They have money. I plan on hiring one who offered me a very valuable free coaching call a few weeks ago.

TL;DR:

I spent a lot of time learning random skill sets and then learned people will hire me for the skill set. Spent years doubting myself and undercharging. Ex kicked me and the kids out. I panicked. Set up a website. Mass networked on Facebook. Did a shit-ton of free calls to get free business tips from guru's. Bought into low-entry groups for more visibility. Made people laugh. Did even more shit-tons of "discovery calls" for potential clients. Answered a lot of emails and inquiries. Asked. For. Help.
And there you have it. None of this was glamorous or sexy, and I took almost a decade to get to $5,000/month but every journey starts somewhere, right?
Hope this was helpful to someone out there. Have a good one.

FAQ Edit:

Hey, wow, thanks for the response. My email, DM's, inbox, and the comment thread here is pretty flooded but I'll try to answer as many questions as possible in between my breaks.
The best way to get ahold of me is through email or commenting, I can't quite figure out how to thread Reddit messages to maintain context :/ (If someone has a better system for organizing the inbox stuff, let me know)
To make your lives easier, let me answer some FAQ. Please note that I am not an affiliate or endorsing any of the links I post - it's just stuff I found useful. Hire/buy at your own risk.
----
I want that dropshipping resource. Send it to me?
Read this guide by 7FS: https://files.convertkitcdnn.com/assets/documents/34674/2440142/350__Niche_2019_-_FINAL.pdf.
I do not endorse them and their customer reviews are garbage so hire them at your own risk. However, their strategy on researching luxury/high-ticket niches is solid. If you skip this step or fudge it (researching 2-3 niches instead of the recommended 50) and you're wondering why your store failed, well... there you go. Also covers how to work with suppliers and such.
How do you manage the kids while being a single mom?
I work with them instead of against them. My kids are monsters after 12pm (as most kids are due to being overstimulated and tired). I get up at 5am and get the bulk of my work done before 11am. My 1st grader is in school, 3 year old watches tv and eats breakfast (which I cook in bulk so I can microwave it quickly). By noon, I'm tired, my kids want my attention, and I can't slog through work if they need me so I do household chores, cook, spend time with them, during this time. They're in bed at 6:30pm and I spend the evening doing self-care, taking courses on Skillshare, reading, etc.
Are you hiring/subcontracting? Are you taking mentees?
Yes and no. First off, I only work with USA-based subcontractors and mentees because I can't begin to understand the cultural impact and obstacles that comes with being an overseas contractor. Second, I'm looking for a very specific type of subcontractor - they've already VA'd for several businesses and have an interest in problem-solving (a core skill every contractor needs). I'm currently not mentoring but would highly recommend:
Are you saying we should use your strategy "shotgun" method on Facebook?
Absolutely not. You should determine where your audience is, figure out how they respond, and design your marketing strategy to put yourself on their radar. The Facebook strategy worked for me because it's specific to my target audience. You have to reverse engineer a strategy for your audience. This requires a lot of trial by fire, by the way. You probably won't figure it out the first dozen times you try. Remember, you're reading my TLDR. I didn't get into all the different crap I tried that didn't work (like trying to run a Facebook ad and paid $60 for a lead.)
Do you have any recommended resources/books/guides?
Sure.
Can you help me? Can you refer clients to me? Can you help me make money?
Well, tell me what you've done to help yourself, first. If you message me but you don't know what type of work you want to do, what kind of clients you want to work with, or made a lot of attempts and failures already, you have to get your feet wet. I'm not saying that to be a dick, you only know what works and what doesn't by doing it. You also have to be able to define a measurable way to track your success/lack of. If you've already jumped in the trenches and it's not working, sure, we can shoot some ideas back and forth. If you're hoping I just hand you a strategy or trust a random Redditor with my referrals, I'm sorry, but that won't help you. There is a difference between being handed the answer key to a test and working hard to understand the material for an exam. One will build you a solid foundation, the other will sustain you for a week and then you'll be back to square one because you didn't learn anything.
(Will continue updating and answering questions between work).
submitted by wildpixelmarketing to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]

Romanian SFF scene through the lens of a local SFF magazine - Galaxia 42

Galaxia 42 is a F&SF literature and art magazine. They have a few short stories and articles in English as well (though 90% of the content is in Romanian). The shorts include Nightracer by de Dinu Paladi, a serialized novel. The English articles are mostly panoramas of other countries, so they might be interesting for the international-minded reader.
They're on their sixth number and I thought to share because one of the articles analyzing the translated-to-Romanian short stories they've published caught my eye. (Don't worry I won't be spamming these posts every month)
This is the article I'm talking about and the thing I thought might be of slight interest of people who aren't me is the ranking of which short stories have been most popular on their website:
  1. The Penitent Damned By Django Wexler - which the editor says is interesting because Wexler's works aren't translated to Romanian, so he's new to the audience (Romanian story, Original English story)
  2. Morrigan in the Sunglare by Seth Dickinson - where the editor joyfully notes that the story's inclusivity of diversity did not seem to decrease its popularity. After I'd had a look at the mostly male-dominated contributor lists in a lot of this group's projects I gotta admit I'm greatly relieved to know diversity is something they strive for and see as a positive. My country is not the most forward-thinking out there, so it could've gone either way. (Romanian story, Original English story)
  3. Malak by Peter Watts - where the editor just says it's not surprising given a writer like him. I think it's funny because this is the only one out of three I haven't heard about enough to be able to place. (Romanian story, Original English story)
Something else that might be interesting is two top tens of SFF books translated to Romanian: non-anglo books and books with LGBT themes (the tops are in Romanian but you can tell from the covers what the books are), Also some of the Romanian sci-fi covers are really nice, and some are really not.
For the *checks notes* 13 other Romanians on the sub (according to this year's census that I sneaked a peek at) Here are the short stories and a novel published in monthly chapters. I've only looked through them, but I get the sense that my previous impression of Romanian author's preference for depressing or dystopian sci-fi was not wrong. Though there are some fantasy ones sprinkled in between.
I'm not affiliated with them in any way, I've read a few of the articles but that's about it. Might use some short stories for Bingo. I talk the talk, but I generally stay as far as away from translations as I can, though I'm trying to work on that.
Previous posts I've made about Romanian SFF are: Galaxy 42 original post, review of Ciudatul caz al umbrelor by Daniel Timariu & tips for finding local to you books, reviews: What dragons see (kinda Alice in Videogameland) and When the Red Feathers Will Cry (sci-fi novela), review of Tenebre: Labirintul by Daniel Timariu, and a viewof my local bookshop.
A couple of other local books I enjoyed before starting to write reviews: Arhanghelul Raul by Ovidiu Eftimie (from Times New Roman) a satire about how devils are trying to invade the earth and it's up to one marketing exec and the CFR to stop them, but first they have to defeat bureaucracy. Copiii întunericului by Lavinia Călina it's a paranormal/urban fantasy about two witches trying to hide from witch clans. The author also has a steampunk series I'm looking forward to.
I'd love to hear about the SFF scene in other countries!
submitted by Dianthaa to Fantasy [link] [comments]

Wrestling Observer Rewind ★ Nov. 23, 1987

Going through old issues of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter and posting highlights in my own words, continuing in the footsteps of daprice82. For anyone interested, I highly recommend signing up for the actual site at f4wonline and checking out the full archives.
FUTURE YEARS ARCHIVE:
The Complete Observer Rewind Archive by daprice82
1-5-1987 1-12-1987 1-18-1987 2-2-1987
2-9-1987 2-16-1987 2-23-1987 3-2-1987
3-9-1987 3-16-1987 3-23-1987 4-6-1987
4-13-1987 4-20-1987 4-27-1987 5-4-1987
5-11-1987 5-18-1987 5-25-1987 6-1-1987
6-8-1987 6-15-1987 6-22-1987 6-29-1987
7-6-1987 7-13-1987 7-20-1987 7-27-1987
8-3-1987 8-10-1987 8-17-1987 8-24-1987
8-31-1987 9-7-1987 9-14-1987 9-21-1987
9-28-1987 10-5-1987 10-12-1987 10-19-1987
10-26-1987 11-2-1987 11-9-1987 11-16-1987
  • With all the major promotions running Thanksgiving, there’s an illusion of choice for viewers. Of course, there aren’t choices for most of the public. Even so, the promotions are getting into it as if there is one. The Mega Powers and Sam Houston’s theme (the Midnight Rider theme) are both WWF taking a dig at Crockett, while Manny Fernandez is making comments with clear anti-Dusty subtext in Memphis. Dave’s not going to try to speculate or predict what comes out of any promotion for Thanksgiving, but he does note a couple things. WWF has never produced a major spectacular with a heel winning the main event. Crockett has. That said, if they want to build a Hogan/Andre rematch for Wrestlemania, it would make sense to have Andre go over here. The trick is hiding Andre’s physical problems, because if the viewership catches on to those, it could ruin Wrestlemania. That’s unlikely to happen, but it’s possible, and that’s the risk of building heavily around a guy who probably shouldn’t be categorized as an active wrestler these days.
  • Starrcade clarification: they’ve announced Wilbur vs. Ivan Koloff, but that’s a preliminary match at one of the other sites and won’t air for the closed-circuit audience. The announcement has confused some people, and Dave’s not sure how they could have not seen confusion being the result. Tickets for Chicago have nearly sold out, by the way, and now it looks like they could probably have gotten a bigger venue and sold out rather than going with the Pavillion, even with the earlier start time. They’ve also opened the Aragon and Regal theaters in Chicago as closed-circuit locations for those who can’t attend the live card.
  • New Japan’s Japan Cup tournament started on November 9 and they ran two major angles at the start of the tournament. The first was an injury angle to Fujiwara, leaving Inoki with no partner. Before the end of the show, Inoki asked Dick Murdoch to be his partner (so you can probably expect Inoki/Murdoch vs. Choshu/Saito in the finals). Murdoch was originally to team with Scott Hall, but now Hall will team with Sakaguchi. The bigger story, however, is Choshu and Saito wrestled Fujinami and Kimura, with Kimura pinning Choshu in the biggest upset of the year in Japan. Fujinami and Kimura at present lead the tournament with 10 points, with Keiji Mutoh and Nobuhiko Takada in second with 9 points.
  • WWF taped Saturday Night’s Main Event for November 28 in Seattle on November 11. They sold out 16,000 at the Seattle Center Arena, and Jesse Ventura did color instead of Heenan. The matches don’t sound that hot, unfortunately. Probable airing matches include Ted DiBiase over Hillbilly Jim in three minutes with a clothesline. The heat it did get came from Ted insulting Brian Bosworth and getting the crowd behind Bosworth more than they were for Hogan later in the night. Randy Savage beat Bret Hart in what’s said to be the best match on the card, a 15 minute match full of Bret working the ankle and Savage making the comeback after the commercial to win with a small package. Bam Bam pinned Hercules. This match had a double countout at three minutes, then after the commercial they restarted the match and Bigelow pinned Herc with a slingshot. Harley Race and Jim Duggan went to a disqualification of some kind (some confusion over the exact result), with Duggan not looking great. Bundy beat Hogan via countout and Hogan has now suffered his first national tv loss since becoming the big star. Andre did some interference and got sent away, and Heenan eventually held Hogan’s leg to keep him out of the ring. Word is only Hogan and Savage’s matches had any heat, so they’ll definitely need to sweeten the sound. The next Saturday Night’s Main Event will be taped December 7 for a January 2 air date, with a Hogan/Bundy rematch headlining.
  • Dave reviews Crockett’s November 9 San Francisco show. They drew just under 2,000 for a $25,000 gate. It was their first show in the area in four months and had both Flair and the Road Warriors, so that has to be a disappointment. Nothing to write home about this one. The only good matches were Nikita Koloff vs. Eddie Gilbert (“basically a good match” at 2.75 stars), Barry Windham vs. Larry Zbyszko (3 stars), and Ric Flair and Lex Luger vs. Ron and Jimmy Garvin (3.5 stars). Ron Simmons vs. Black Bart got -1 star. Between his physique and his background, Ron Simmons should be a superstar, but Dave questions that whenever he sees him live because Simmons just hasn’t been improving from where he was when he started over a year ago. Bart stalling out the entire 11 minute match just made things worse. Overall, Flair saved the show and made it good, but the card itself was bad otherwise. Crockett next returns in February because they don’t think they can come back any time sooner and actually draw. So there won’t be a Bunkhouse Stampede show, which would have been an easy $60,000+ gate. San Francisco is the only city left where battle royals are sure draws (AWA is doing a show next Saturday that’ll prove that, Dave says, but he’s going to be very wrong on that front), but Dave’s pessimistic about Crockett even drawing 2000 next time.
  • TV ratings are down a lot for Crockett, and that’s worse news than the recent bad houses and unrest among some of the bigger name talent. Neilsen’s weekly syndication reports of the top 15 syndicated networks saw Crockett drop out of the listings entirely very quick. The Wrestling Network had consistently been holding around number 7 and peaked at number 4, and now it’s out of the top 15 and even behind number 14-ranked All-Star Wrestling Network (which includes POWW, Pro Wrestling This Week, and AWA). Crockett’s package is on 200 stations, while All-Star’s package hits a combined 123 stations, so having fewer viewers than them has to be a bit of an embarrassment. All told, the ratings for Crockett’s package have dropped about 40% in two months, all leading up to their biggest show of the year and November sweeps. The timing could not be worse, and Crockett had bought UWF primarily to improve the tv network. The results speak for themselves, though and it’s clear Crockett will lose affiliates if the ratings don’t make a big turnaround. Crockett’s got affiliates in every major market except Boston, so that should illustrate the state of the numbers. WWF probably earns $13-15 million per year off television, and buying UWF was Crockett’s gambit to be getting into that level of business. But viewers are sending a clear message, and tv ratings are the most important barometer in this day and age for determining public interest in a promotion. Live gates being down can be explained by a lot of things (unwanted matches, bad economy, competition, etc.), but if tv ratings are down it says people are turned off by the product itself. With all current plans, nothing can be done until after Thanksgiving, because Starrcade is already planned and it’s too late to throw out a last-minute big angle. Unless a lot of things happen that bring fans back into the arenas, though, 1988 could be a rough year for Crockett (that it will be). Dave hopes they don’t look at Starrcade and their show at Nassau Coliseum, which should both do well, and think they’ve just solved things.
  • AWA also has bad news, which includes lots of shows being canceled. As of Dave’s most recent report, only two shows are booked for December, which is traditionally one of the best months for wrestling in the midwest, so something is really wrong. The wrestlers who don’t have weekly guarantees are going to be hit real hard and won’t be able to survive the month. Lots of stories about guys quitting, coming back, quitting, and whatnot. Tommy Rich is gone, D.J. Peterson has given notice, Steve DiSalvo left after one night, Jerry Blackwell is gone, and there are three more uncertain (one of which is probably Ray Stevens, who is scheduled for WWF’s old timers’ battle royal). The San Francisco show on Saturday should answer some of the questions on who’s staying and who’s going. Some are talking about coming in, but that won’t be until 1988 at least, as it looks like there’s no money to be made in December. The big story for AWA on that front, and it makes sense for both, is that the Midnight Rockers are negotiating a return in January. Guess January being when hell freezes over was obvious in hindsight, as that’s when they were supposed to return.
  • Let’s hope 1988 is a year that turns things around for wrestling, because the negativity isn’t fun.
  • WCCW’s Von Erichs Over America tour opened on November 7. With the amount of advertising Bum Bright and his people have poured in, you have to figure they’re disappointed by gates of $4,000 on November 7 and $16,000 on November 11. They’re handling the booking, advertising, and paying wrestlers around $200 per show guaranteed.
  • WCCW tried to bury Brody on tv, but did a half job of it. They hinted that The Thing ran him over, but they might have to try and get Brody in for a match with him in December so they didn’t want to outright say it. Thing is a rookie trained by Boris Malenko, and worked about a week in Florida. He doesn’t really do anything but punches and kicks and sells nothing.
  • In Memphis they did some interesting stuff with Jeff Jarrett and Jimmy Jack Funk this week. Last week Funk stole Jarrett’s title after their match, and Eddie Marlin (Jarrett’s grandfather) came out and ordered Funk to return the belt. Well, Funk hit both Marlin and Jarrett with the belt, then tried to hang him with a noose. When he threw it up around the lights, he wound up losing the whole rope and someone (Dave thinks Bobby Jaggers) had to throw him another rope from off camera to try again. Anyway, Marlin broke things up and Funk beat him up more, and Marlin suspended Funk but Jarrett begged them not to suspend him because he wanted to beat Funk up at the next show. That sounds like a classic, simple angle right there to me.
  • No major update on Steve Estes’s court date on his robbery charges. He did plead innocent on a misdemeanor charge of writing bad checks (for our younger readers, checks are a slip of paper you used before debit cards were a thing). His trial begins in early December sometime.
  • POWW drew 850 on November 1 in Marietta, Georgia. Dave would tell us who was the big draw for the group, but their advertising didn’t mention the names of any of the wrestlers.
  • Aileen Eaton, former boxing promoter at Olympic Auditorium and mother of Mike and Gene Lebelle, passed away about a week ago.
  • The November 8 Crockett show at the Omni is really only notable for what they’re doing with Ric Flair. Flair’s match was called a “workout”, as originally Flair and Ron Garvin were scheduled for a non-title match but instead fans were to be treated to “pre-Starrcade workouts” in handicap matches against jobbers. Garvin won his match against the Gladiators. Flair’s workout was a handicap match against Kendall Windham and Italian Stallion. Flair dominated Stallion and sold heavy for Windham, and the match wound up with an Arn Anderson run-in finishing things up. Ric Flair isn’t even being given clean wins against jobbers, if that tells you anything about this company.
  • After just a day in the AWA, Steve DiSalvo returned to Stampede on November 6. He has the potential to be one of the better heels in the business, as he has both the muscularity of Don Muraco and can carry himself with the most arrogance and condescension of any human alive. But he’s not a good worker, and absolutely whollopped Biff Wellington with one of the stiffest clotheslines Dave has ever seen in his debut match on October 24.
  • WWF injury updates: Ted DiBiase is 100% and back in action. Billy Jack Haynes collapsed November 6 after his match at Nassau due to dehydration and potassium deficiency. He didn’t miss any matches but Ken Patera had to carry him in tag matches over the weekend and he’s now loading up on bananas to get his potassium up.
  • Bob Orton got detained by customs on his way back to the States from Calgary after the November 8 show. He missed several shows as a result.
  • Nothing much from All Japan this week, but more details on their tag tournament to come next week. Those details are mostly just some results, so again, not much detail there.
  • [Oregon] Steve Doll and Scott Peterson won the Pacific Northwest tag titles on November 7. They’re dressing like the Midnight Rockers and calling themselves the Southern Rockers now.
  • WWF’s old-timers’ battle royal has now gained Gino Brito, Ray Stevens, and The Crusher. Expect a full report on that show next issue.
  • A letter asks for clarification on the Midnight Express, since there are a couple different versions, and Dave gives the rundown on what and who and why there are so many Midnight Expresses. Short version, Dennis Condrey, Randy Rose, and Norvell Austin were the original team as a three-man group in Southeastern (now Continental) Championship Wrestling (Alabama territory) in the early 80s. Condrey and Bobby Eaton got together in 1983 as the Midnight Express for Mid-South (later UWF) and then went to WCCW in 1984 and JCP in 1985. Condrey left the team in March and Stan Lane replaced him. Then Condrey resurfaced with Randy Rose and Paul E. Dangerously in the AWA a few months back. NWA never trademarked the name, so nobody has any grounds to sue anyone over use. Also Dangerously’s real name is Paul Heyman, and he used to edit Wrestling Power and Double Action Wrestling, and was an associate editor of Norm Keitzer’s Wrestling News.
  • Dave also clarifies his position on Dusty Rhodes in response to another letter about him. Dave has nothing against Dusty being a star. Dusty has charisma in spades and can cut a promo like nobody else. But Dave has a lot against Dusty being the star, since he doesn’t appeal widely enough and he likes to hold back those who threaten his position. Put simply, it’s easy to get fans to cheer a face and boo a heel, since they’ve already paid and fans like to play along. Jimmy Valiant and George Steele get cheers, but they don’t draw. Dusty pushes himself as the star, so he gets big cheers because audiences see him as the star, but his appeal is closer to a George Steele than a Hulk Hogan. Pushing Dusty as the main face of Crockett’s promotion holds back pushing someone who could sell more tickets and help keep the promotion alive. Marks hated The Sheik, loved Dick the Bruiser, and loved the Von Erichs, but those guys also ran off other fans and killed their territories because they couldn’t gain the wide appeal that a promotion needs to thrive. When you have limited appeal as a promotion, your only audience is marks and hardcore fans, and to be majorly appealing you have to reach the average person, not just marks and hardcores.
  • Dave finally finishes his run-downs of Award favorites, and says he’ll include a complete list of categories next issue, and will begin accepting ballots. For Best Technical Wrestler, Dave gives it all to Japan, as Fujiwara, Maeda, and Takada outclass anyone in North America (though Owen Hart makes a close fourth place for Dave). For Worst TV Announcer, the past few weeks have led Dave to only one conclusion: David Crockett. Best Booker is a field with few choices this year. Inoki has dropped the ball in many ways, and Dusty was the best last year but has been near the bottom this year. Lawler and Jarrett have a good show, and Eddie Gilbert was good at putting together live shows. But on the strength of his television show’s production and the genius booking of Hogan/Andre, Dave can’t believe he’s doing it, but he’s saying Vince McMahon. For Worst on TV Interviews, Dave gives the Japanese wrestlers in Calgary like Hase and Yamada a break on their English and instead picks Bugsy McGraw, who is not funny at all.
  • John Nord’s getting over great in Minneapolis as a face largely because of his commercials for his father’s car dealership. There are three commercials, all with the slogans “No credit? We don’t care!” and “Don’t make payments? Then we care!” He does wrestling moves in the commercials, piledriving a guy onto the hood of a car in one, bodyslamming a guy through the windshield in the second, and suplexing a guy onto the hood in the third. Dave likens Nord’s performance to an impersonation of what it would be like if Jim Duggan impersonated Bruiser Brody.
Watch: Nord Motor Company commercial
  • Genichiro Tenryu beat Hiroshi Wajima on November 7 in their first match. This is especially interesting because of their histories in Sumo before they went to pro wrestling. About a decade ago they were top stars in the world of sumo, and Wajima was ranked above Tenryu (Tenryu’s highest rank was Maegeshira 1, which is top of the 5 rank of the highest division, while Wajima was the 54th Yokozuna and competed for 8 years after attaining that rank). Wajima was a nine-time Grand National champion in Sumo, which is why he was such a big deal when he came over to pro wrestling in 1986. Tenryu was a big-name, but he never was allowed to break into the elite, which is why he turned to pro wrestling.
Watch: Tenryu vs. Wajima
  • Ray Stevens got a deal where he’s working the old-timers’ battle royal for WWF but will stay with AWA.
  • Bob Orton is still missing dates, so no idea if he’s suspended or fired from WWF.
THURSDAY (4 issues left in 1987): PPV forecast for 1988, Pennsylvania house committee recommends deregulating wrestling, wrestling holds five of the top 20 cable ratings, and more.
submitted by SaintRidley to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]

Merch guru Essany selling FB group and other guru BS [HAPPY NEW YEAR]

Essany
I check the website selling venues like EF and FEI a couple times a month. Most often selling affiliate commission sites, SaaS businesses, lead gen sites, etc. But also merch accounts for dopes who think buying a merch account at 30X+ average monthly has value.
Then today I come across a listing on FEI, the info for which is here. Says "leading strategy guide provider in the Merch by Amazon market." As far as I know that only applies to Michael Essany.
He puts out a weekly guide for $10/mo. I've seen a few others have shared. Doesn't promote MI low BSR improvecat methods but researches trends from other sources. Always seemed low key and not hard core spamming. But others have shared with me some of his motivational posts though he words it different.
But now he seems to be wanting to cash out. Which implicitly means selling the email list of his subscribers. And which apparently is against the TOS of FB from what I can find:
Facebook clarifies that it is against its terms to sell group admin rights.
And like LOL who da fuq would buy that for 478K (THOUSANDS) instead of just replicate it and spend a fraction of that on marketing same? I note those listing details failed to mention his churn rate.
Almost all of these so-called gurus don't actually do merch themselves but just focus on selling courses, tools and pushing aff coms for those of others. They have no scruples. They know their audience is the current year's crop of hopeful n00bs whose hopes will die once they hit T500 and slots full.
But in an attempt to keep his sheeple calm and in the dark about what is going on essany made this post about a wonderful 2020.
EDIT: as confirmed below the listing on FEI is now gone but evidence in imgur link above. Awfully fast for new year's eve.
Which brings us to Matt/RJ again
In the funny, funny realm of hypocritical BS, or chutzpah, we find this post of elephant man.
HAHAHAHA. He's spent this year shearing his sheep for every method/platform while not doing them himself. Didn't upload to merch for most of the year, yet put out a merch bootcamp course. Put his etsy stores on vacay mode mid-november while running an etsy challenge. And now he's going to teach people focus and productivity? HAHAHAHA.
Jeep(s) Master Addie
From FB posts/comments that people here shared with me after u/fuzemonkey rolled a thread on his infringement on FB, all of Addies fanbois were indignant and said he must have a license. Then when someone showed Addie ripped off pixel-for-pixel the kawaii images of a legit artist, they all fell silent.
Let's not forget Ryan H
Promoter of lite-infringing and safe keywording. Etsy termed his account and he was indignant, even though he admitted to infringing on Game of Thrones. And now recently is outing other infringers on youtube and saying how unfair it is that they live while he got termed.
Oh and Dear Amy H
Who made a deceptive etsy profile for one of her stores acting as if she were a person of color, despite being a blond white woman. Willing to push the scummy shit of other gurus just like Helen K.
Pushing Matt's trunk studio mockups for etsy. Says no affiliate and doesn't seem to be (hahaha Amy you think only girlz in your group). Yet she doesn't say not being compensated does she? She wants her cut, influencer style. She's getting compensated somehow, most likely on a flat fee basis. She ain't no philanthropist.
Listen up you naive gullible n00bs
Merch ain't shit these days. Especially by the old 2017 merch bro evergreen in organic search method. There are other ways to succeed that don't rely on stealing the research and designs of others, which will be the topic of another post I will make here.
BUT, if you believe any of these scammers for either $10/mo or hundreds of $$$ for courses and such, then you deserve to get fleeced. And doubly so if you would ever buy a merch account or guru business.
submitted by nimitz34 to MerchPrintOnDemand [link] [comments]

Trust, fear and knowledge.

Hey there ... I`m MO and some of you already know me and my "unpopular opinions" but for those who don't, I'm a mod on this sub and if you're one of these persons who offend themselves really quick, maybe this is not a good post for you to read.
I have seen this post and other similar posts and comments lately, both on the sub and on the discord server and I think that due to lack of information a lot of (new) models spread fear instead of knowledge - let's try to change that.

There is no good reason some random person on the internet would approach you to help make you money unless it involves them taking advantage of you somehow. Whether it’s stealing content, invading your privacy, or straight up trafficking. This is a DANGEROUS world and you cannot trust some redditor who offers you an opportunity. There is SOME ulterior motive there and you don’t need to find out what it is.
There is actually at least one good reason - making money for all parties involved. I`m not saying you should trust anyone who approach you, I`m just saying that instead of taking a decision based on fear you should take one based on knowledge.
If you already work on a cam site, chances are, you already work with affiliates who help you get traffic to your chatroom without you even knowing - you make more money ... the affiliate makes more money. Is that something you could call "trafficking"? Is CB or MFC traffiking? All cam sites take a cut out your earnings but would you call it traffiking or just a biz partner?
It's funny how models who rant all the time about people who don't understand that cam modeling is a job like any other ... are the first who accuse affiliates of trafficking when in fact, a certain part of their success is due to the affiliates work. Working as affiliate is hard work too ... and beside time, most affiliates invest tons of money as well.
If someone approaches you telling something like ... " I can make you $20k a month if you________! ", " Let me help you network! " and " I’ll buy you a laptop if you pay me back " (the last one tho ... is pretty weird) instead of blocking the person right away, ask for more details, give that person a chance to prove he is not a scammer otherwise you will risk to miss an opportunity . Most successful cam models work close with affiliates and other professionals, this let them focus on their main job as model ... to be in front of the cam.

There is literally nothing a man, let alone a rando, can do for a sex worker that they cannot do for themself.
You could say that about changing a tire to a car as well ... I bet you could do it yourself but someone with experience and the right tools can do it better and faster and most of the times the cost of paying someone to do it for you is less than making it yourself both because you could earn more in the time you waste to change the tire than what you pay a person to do it for you and because you have a certain level of guarantee for the job.
A lot of models think that working with an affiliate will make them loose money because they have to pay the affiliate to do the job and that`s false - most of the affiliates would be happy to bring you traffic in exchange of content not money. Models who work with affiliates don't receive a smaller % from the website but they do (usually and depending on who are they working with) receive more traffic that converts to more money if handled correctly.
The affiliates need content, pics, videos, texts because some of them use the content on their own websites to get traffic organically from search engines and others use pics in order to create banners to place on different adult websites (banners that bring traffic they pay for to your chatroom or selling website).
So...maybe next time a random guy ask for content and claims that he tries to help ... it would be smarter to ask him how he plans to use that content to help you instead of blocking him directly. I know there are a lot of scammers out there and that`s why you have to pay attention on who you work with but it doesn`t mean you won`t be able to find people who are really able to help you (and you help them ... since it's mutual).

Never trust a non-SW who tries to “help” random SW.
With the risk of repeating myself ... this is maybe the most common harmful statement cam models spread.
Let's say you sell milk ... sales are pretty low and you look for an advice on how to design your milk box in such way to increase sales. You get two advice, one from a person who also sells milk successfully and it is your direct competitor on the market and another one from a person who is designing milk boxes for a living and has direct interest on helping you sell more milk because for every milk box you sell he gets a cut. Who would you trust more?
I`m not saying that the person who sells milk and is your direct competitor is giving you bad advice because he wants you to fail (even tho ... this might be the case as well sometimes) ... but maybe his success is not because of his milk box design, maybe his success is because of the milk itself or because of some other random reason. Maybe that milk box design used to be a thing back when he started selling milk but not anymore so now he only sells milk not because the milk box has a fancy design but because his milk became a brand.
So ... instead of taking advice from someone who is successful, maybe it's a better idea to take advice from someone who will work beside you on the road to success, who ideally, can prove he helped others to reach success and ... the most important thing ... a person who`s success is direct proportional with your own success - sharing success is not a bad thing.
You might think "yeah...but if I follow the exact path of a successful cam model ... who has years of experience behind ... I will become successful as well" ... It`s sad but this is false - the truth is that more than half of the successful models who have been more than 5 years on the market will have no chance with today's game rules. Camming industry and adult industry in general is a FAST changing industry and what had to be done 5 years ago to be successful is very different than what needs to be done today. Back then was as easy as making yourself a tumblr account and with a bit of luck ... you could have done a lot of cash and that`s just a single example.
To that you could say something like ... "yeah... but if she kept herself on the top during 5 years she must know her thing". It's true ... the experience of a cam model who has been 5 years on the top it's vast but it's also not what you necessarily need if you are just starting. What you need is to figure out how to reach that level of success (then worry about keeping it) or find someone who can help you with that, someone who has experience helping multiple models, someone who has the skill to understand the needs of another (and this is very important because even tho a experienced model knows what works ... she probably only knows what works for her and it is not necessarily what would work for you), someone who built or helped with someone success recently and knows how to do it in today's conditions, someone who encountered different situations and was able to solve each and every one based on particular needs.
So, even if a experienced model has the all best intentions in the world when offering you advice, it doesn't always mean that advice is good for you.
There are also models who give bad advice, spread fear and misinformation on purpose (I`m not saying that this is the case with the model who wrote the post I mention earlier) - they usually hide behind claims like "there is plenty of fish in the sea for all of us .. that`s why I don`t mind to help a fellow cam model in need" but in the same time you can see that a lot of models complain about getting less traffic... about how the number of time wasters and new models has increased lately due to recent events.
My vision for this sub was to have all kind of people who can help us make more money under the same roof - that`s the reason why this sub is NOT a model only sub. I tried to bring in different people who work in the biz but not only, including graphic designers, lawyers, psychologists, newspaper editors and so on - basically anyone who can help. Some give basic advice for free but ask for something in return for their time and effort if it`s something that require a lot of resources from their part - this is how normal biz interactions work ... why would you expect someone to do something for free for you? Maybe you would flash your tits for free ... but I`m sure you won`t stay one hour in a private session for free ... isnt it? If any of you doesn`t see the value in this, maybe this is not the right sub to be on - just leave the ones who do...be.

The conclusion about trust is ... trust your guts and use common sense, experience new things and be prepared to fail, test new things, fail, learn from it and repeat until you do good. DO NOT BE AFRAID to meet new people or experience new things and if you are, try to learn more about it because in the end fear only comes from a lack of understanding.

Another harmful statement related to trust and it is not related to the post I mentioned but I see it a lot on many places - "that persons gives cam related advice but he can't even spell correctly so it's not to be trusted". This world doesn't start and doesn't end with USA ... maybe you guys kept repeating things like ... "America is the greatest country in the world" a bit too much. I know America is the greatest country in the world for certain things but the truth is ... cam industry is not one of them.
So it makes a lot of sense that many valuable information about the biz in general on the internet is written by non-native English speakers.
Most successful models, studios, adult related websites, affiliates, people with huge experience behind come from Europe and in Europe, for many of us, English is our second language and we do make a lot of spelling mistakes but that doesn`t make the information less valuable.

And ... for the ones of you who clap their hands with joy like seals without even stop for a minute to think for yourself and make use of some common sense whenever someone say something stupid with no arguments please leave the sub - there is nothing here that would actually help you to do better.
submitted by TEASEFYme to CamGirlProblems [link] [comments]

Trying to Break Free

I originally posted the following a couple days ago to another sub for addicts in recovery under the title “Marijuana: My friend; My foe” A lot of people were very supportive but some people weren’t and it really bothered me; probably more than it should have. After reading about this sub I feel it is better suited for me and my experience. I’m fairly new to posting on Reddit so I hope it is ok that I just copy and pasted my original post from the other sub. I’m now six days in on trying to quit weed for good and today has been a struggle. Here is original post:
I’m struggling with a marijuana addiction and started trying to detox four days ago. I first started experimenting with weed many, many moons ago but became a regular user around 24. I’m now 34 and have smoked heavily every day for 10 years.
I started dealing with anxiety and depression in my late teens; early twenties. I tried multiple anti-depressants to no avail and kept ignoring the advice of my friends and general physician to seek therapy. “Make Therapy Appointment” was on my phone’s “To Do” list for many years. The long list of anti-depressants I tried were hit or miss. None of them worked and going on and off of them was taking a major toll. Not to mention I struggled with compliance. So, I gave up on trying to find the right anti-depressant and stopped going to my general physician all together. I avoided therapy. I progressed from using weed recreationally/socially to using it every day. Who needs a therapist, right? Smoking weed is hella more fun than some weird ass, awkward encounter with a strangetherapist. Weed lifts my burdens and makes me feel relaxed and ok in the world.
It may seem that choosing weed over therapy was a linear thought process for me back then, but I didn’t consciously say, “Nah, fuck therapy I’ll smoke this weed instead.” This is just something I’m newly piecing together while reflecting on these past ten years. I can see today that I have been trying to self medicate with marijuana, have abused it, and become addicted.
I still believe marijuana has medicinal properties. I do not hate marijuana nor do I think it should be illegal. Everyone has a different experience and I’m not judging anyone who uses. Addiction happens all the time with legal prescriptions intended for medicinal use. IMO addictive substances with medicinal properties aren’t necessarily evil or bad but should be used with utmost precaution and discussed/marketed in an honest way (Fuck Purdue Pharma). I think that there are people who use marijuana and other medical substances without abusing them and it helps them with their issues. I am not one of those people. I only feel ok when I’m high so the end result is I just keep getting high.
Despite my attempt of self medication my interests and hobbies still died and remain dead. Caring for myself in the most basic of ways was and still is a problem. Personal hygiene, eating properly and any routine in general was and still is impossible to maintain. I spend an exorbitant amount of time in my bed. I give any and all energy I have to maintaining my job. I barely make it there on time, my anxiety while I’m there is crippling and I am just writhing in anguish to get home, get in bed, and take a toke. I’ve distanced myself from family and lots of friends. I don’t even know who they are any more. I don’t know who I am anymore. At this point it’s hard to know which of my symptoms are from mental health issues and which are created from such heavy marijuana use. It has become a cycle I just can’t break out of.
December 2019 I decide to leave a career I had been in for ten years and began a new one in a completely different field. My anxiety became unmanageable and I was suffering regular panic attacks, shakes and sweats. It was physically and mentally exhausting. My anxiety was interfering with my job performance which just further escalated my anxiety. I began to worry about being fired for poor performance or even worse; drug tested. I just wanted to die. I finally broke down and made an appointment with a therapist who I’ve been seeing an hour once a week for about three months now.
My therapist uses a model called Internal Family Systems (IFS) which is basically a view that the mind is made up of relatively discrete subpersonalities each with its own viewpoint and qualities. For anyone interested in IFS there is a great introductory book by Dorie Cameron, LICSW titled “Why Did I Do That? -How You Make Sense and Why There is Hope.” It’s illustrated and super easy to read. Hell, it might be made for children, but sometimes I need shit explained to me like I’m five. Anyway, my therapist refers to these subpersonalities as parts. Through therapy I have learned that all of our parts are there to protect us. There is no such thing as a bad part. The part may exhibit some harmful behavior but it’s doing so trying to protect us in its own way. We all have several parts. I have a part that she and I refer to as my “Numbing” part. This is the part that wants to smoke weed, take pain pills, benzos and drink. Although the activities themselves are harmful, the “Numbing” part is actually trying to protect me. It’s a big part for me and in therapy we have been trying to uncover what my numbing part is trying to protect me from. That part wasn’t ready to let go of weed but quarantine had other plans.
So the past few days I’ve been sweating, shaking and dry heaving. Fuzzy halos around everything, blurred vision, immense headache. Feels like the flu and my depression is like woah. Funny thing tho, my crippling anxiety is gone... at least for the past day. I can’t sleep worth a fuck and man I’m at one grouchy potato. Chicken broth, saltines, pickles and they juice (dunno what that’s about but it really helps my nausea somehow?) have been helping me with the physical symptoms.
I’ve started exploring shit I once thought was fucking hogwash for the psychological symptoms. Hell, until recently I thought therapy was hog wash. I’m a red dirt girl brought up in the southern Appalachian mountains. In my childhood trailer the expression of emotions in general was hogwash and made you weak. But dude, desperation can lead you to some weird places. I’m not going to lie this IFS therapy has been weird as fuck to me but I’ve tried to keep an open mind and I’ve seen results from the work we do during our sessions. I’ve discovered binaural beats. It’s music that sounds like what they play in that Earth Bound store in the mall where you go to buy incense to burn while you smoking weed. Real change of pace from the typical gangsta rap and country I listen to, but like I said about desperation. (Side note: I’m not trying to make fun of nobody, just expressing how I feel about something foreign to me). It does seem to help calm me though. Spotify has a playlist for anyone interested. I’m very fortunate because I live next to the woods and I’ve been able to sit out there and listen to the playlist a couple times during the past four days. I also downloaded a free app that offers lots of free guided meditations called Insight Timer. Also, weird as fuck to me but I’ve been trying meditation and have found that helpful as well. I have ZERO affiliation to any of the stuff that I’m sharing with yuns. I’m just sharing stuff that I have discovered and found to be helpful in case someone else is in a similar situation to mine.
This is a very new journey for me and I’m sorry for my long, rambling post. I suppose it just feels nice to find a place to share my experience and know I’m not alone. And who knows, maybe someone will read this and find some helpful information in it. One day at a time. Good luck to all of us!
submitted by corndogtuesdays to leaves [link] [comments]

What The Fed Is and Why Neolibs Usually Like It

Disclaimer: I am a humble college student, but in this particular post, I do actually have some professional experience to back up some of the content. For a half-year, I was on a legal team supporting repo traders, so I know a weird universe of things related to repos better than I should. Lots of the history in this post is from Roger Lowenstein's "America's Bank", a very good book.
Why Does This Post Exist?
This post is a continuation of my last post on government debt. Lots of folks seemed to like it, and lots of folks seemed to think it was lacking in depth on certain areas. I cannot fill in all the gaps, and this post will open yet more gaps, but I think we'd be remiss not to revisit the topic of the fed and provide a solid primer given the influx of new users to the community (welcome). Here, I will approach the topic by first, explaining the problems and environment the fed was born into, and second, explaining what the fed does at a very high level.
Background - Before the Fed
Sweden had what was likely the earliest "modern" central bank in the form of the Riksbank several hundred years ago, with the Bank of England soon following. The US has always uniquely had internal strife on the issue of centralization, and it would surprise lots of people to know that for a huge chunk of time, even into the onset of the industrial revolution, the US was so politically opposed to the idea of a central bank that it simply did not have one. Much of this had to do with Andrew Jackson's persistent popularity well after his office and his hatred of the Second Bank, which he ultimately destroyed, but this is a post for another time.
Unsurprisingly, the eras of free banking, the double standard (read up on Gresham's Law for more), and state banks was a petri-dish for frequent and prolonged panics. 2008 is relatively mild compared to many of the panics that occurred even before the Great Depression. A quick read through of recessions in the US (read the notes on severities) tells one all they need to know about how terrible US banking was before the establishment of the Federal Reserve. Local banks would have their reserves kept in state banks, and state banks would have their reserves kept in banks in large cities, and if a few small banks needed to draw on the reserves, state banks would need to draw on theirs, leading to banks in big cities being dried up of all of their reserves. This caused panics and bank runs to be regular affairs.
What users need to know about banking at this point is that a bank makes money by taking deposits, and loaning most of those deposits out and earning interest. The idea is that the banks depositors will not need all of this money all at once, so they have much more money outstanding as debt than within their reserves. European banks at the time were centralized, and depository institutions would keep less than 10% of their deposits as reserves, while US banks would keep as much as 25%. To know why this matters so much, I encourage a quick read through of fractional reserve banking and for users much more interested in macro-economic subjects I suggest a read through of the money multiplier.
1907 was a marker year, as it was one of the most pronounced and painful depressions the US had had up to that point. The Knickbocker Trust Company (haha very funny) had attempted to corner the market on shares of United Copper Company. To finance this, they borrowed money from many of New York's most prominent banks. The bid failed, and Knickbocker had its downfall. Banks who relied on the financing banks for reserves quickly withdrew their money, depleting the banks of financing. This triggered a chain reaction all the way across the entire country. To prevent the crisis from deepening even further, JP Morgan organized a syndicate of prominent bankers to inject their own cash into the banking system to prevent the crisis from worsening. The effort worked in that had JP Morgan and his syndicate not intervened, the crisis would have almost certainly deepened.
In a few years after 1907, through political wheeling and dealing and no shortage of flukey miracles (William Jennings Bryan threw his support behind the central-banking curious Woodrow Wilson simply because he distrusted the New York Delegation, who supported the decidedly anti central-banking Chip Clark, after 40+ rounds of ballots, Wilson won because of Bryan's change of allegiance. The whole history of this is, yes, another post), the federal reserve act was signed, creating an institution that would act as a central reserve, lender of last resort, and eventually the guide of the direction of the US, if not arguably, the global economy.
What Does the Fed Do?
The Fed is a central bank, which is to say that they are where banks across the country keep their reserves. The Fed sets requirements on banks based on size, risk, and other factors to keep a certain percentage of their deposits as reserves. The Fed in the modern age does a great deal of regular stress testing (excel and economic simulations on steroids), passivity regulation, and a great deal more.
The Fed's three mandates as originally stated by congress are to minimize unemployment (evolved to targeting full employment), stabilizing prices, and maintaining reasonable long term interest rates. The Fed is unique from European central banks, which are more focused on inflation then they are on unemployment. For this reason, the Fed is said to have a dual mandate, because they focus on both Unemployment and Inflation.
Famous economist William Phillips was the "inventor" of the Phillips curve, which suggested that as unemployment was lower, inflation was higher, while as prices were lower, unemployment was higher. The validity of the theory is an intense subject of debate among economists, but there is a growing contingent that believe the data simply does not support the theory. If the theory is truly not as reliable as Phillips stated, this is a pro for a US style dual mandate bank, as controlling unemployment and inflation is not as Sisyphian of a task as the theory would imply.
The main tool the Federal Reserve uses to control Unemployment and Inflation is the Federal Funds rate. The Federal Funds rate is the rate at which banks change other banks for borrowing money overnight from each other's reserves to maintain and meet the Fed's requirements. The lower the rate, the less "risk" Banks see in loaning money to each other, and therefore the more risk they are willing to take and loan more money to consumers in the economy. More loans means more business creation and investment, and more jobs, but more money in the economy also implies more money to be spent, and rising prices.
How does the Federal Reserve police the federal funds rate? To be exact, the federal funds rate is a target rather than a set-in-stone policy. The rate is set by the FOMC, the Federal Open Market Committee, made up of the 7 Governors on the board of Governors, and rotationally 5 of the 12 regional reserve presidents. The FOMC has a few traditions around voting, but generally the Chair of the Federal Reserve Governors exerts near absolute influence. The FOMC meets 8 times year. The Fed is politically seen as totally independent from the Presidency and Congress, as a central bank that is subservient to a President will almost always be pressured to keep rates as low as possible no matter what the economic conditions are in the economy, leading to runaway inflation and far less maneuverability in the event of a credit crunch. The President would be extremely hard pressed to justify firing (or attempting to fire) a Fed chair.
The Federal Funds rate reaches it target because the FOMC directs Open Market Operations. There are 2 primary forms of Open Market Operations. The first is the simply buying and selling of government bonds (see last post for more). As government bonds are seen as "risk free", the fed can buy more government bonds to increase the cost of bonds, and therefore reduce the yield on them, and by domino effect the Federal Funds rate to reach the target, as most banks charge for risk with a "spread" over the risk free rate (the yield on government bonds). The second way the FOMC conducts Operations is by Repurchase Agreements (Repos). Repurchase agreements are a. the loaning of money to a counterparty with government bonds as collateral and b. the return of the bonds at the repayment of the base plus the applicable interest rate. Repo rates are usually below the risk free rate, because they are collateralized by government bonds. Most repos are extremely short durations, primarily overnight, for banks to meet the requirements of their own reserves. Later last year, corporations withdrew cash from banks to pay tax liabilites, which crunched available reserves and shot up the Repo rate. Because of this, the Fed intervened with a huge amount of capital. Here's a cool article.
The Fed, contrary to popular belief, does not give the money it makes by being the bankers' bank to the illuminati. The vast majority of the profits of the bank go towards the US treasury, and a small amount of it goes towards banks to partially reimburse what they pay to be members of the Federal Reserve system.
This was all very long, but believe it or not, it is only scratching the surface of the Fed and what it does. I encourage those interested to do more research.
2008
The Federal Reserve truly stepped up in its role to act as a lender of last resort in 2008. Among the most important programs implemented by the Fed were the three Maiden Lane transactions, which make up what encompasses a lot of most American's understanding of the "Wall Street Bailout".
Maiden Lane I: Bear Stearns, a brokerage, held billions of dollars of liabilities to an array of counter-parties. The Federal Reserve arranged for JP Morgan to purchase the company, but JP Morgan was concerned over the riskiness of the firms assets. Maiden Lane was born to purchase the assets of Bear Stearns that JP Morgan had seen as too risky. The Fed lent most of the money needed to purchase the ~30 bn in assets, while JP Morgan lent a very small amount. Maiden Lane arranged to purchase the assets, and sell them off strategically to minimize adverse effect on the economy while JP Morgan purchased the rest of Bear Stearns. The importance of this action is that the Fed prevented the evaporation of tens of billions of dollars of mortgage obligations from turning into a full blown unwinding of investment across the US economy
Maiden Lane II & III: Maiden Lanes II and III were programs by the Fed very similar to Maiden Lane I. AIG, a financial insurance group, had tens of billions of dollars of obligations to other firms on Wall Street in the form of RMBS (Residential Mortgage Backed Securities) and CDOs (Collateralized Debt Obligations). Similar to Maiden Lane I, the Federal Reserve established these organizations to buy the MBSs (Maiden Lane II) and the CDOs (Maiden Lane III).
By the end of Maiden Lanes II and III, the Fed had earned a profit of 18 billion dollars, and the Treasury had owned 53% of a company that greatly appreciated in value since their investment to save the firm. The Treasury had made a 12.4 Billion dollar profit when they cut their stake in AIG from 53% to 21.5% in September 2012. In addition to the Maiden Lane Transactions, the Fed lent money directly to AIG and affiliated bodies. The profits due to the bailout were massive, and totally ignored by the far left of the Democratic party since.
Maiden Lanes I-III were conducted alongside TARP, the troubled asset relief program, administered by the US Government. The US Government profited many billions of dollars from TARP.
Since 2008 and the implemented programs, Fed Chairs have had to endure tedious questioning from members of congress who do not know very much about banking. For example, Fed chairs are commonly asked why they do not loan money to regular Americans, or to cities in need of bailouts. The answer is that, frankly, Fed reserve money is not taxpayer money. It is money from reserves of banks, to be deployed to protect the reserves of banks, which protects the savings accounts of everyone, including you and me. As unfortunate as it is that cities often fail to catch up to pension liabilities, banks being unable to guarantee the deposits of their customers has massive implications. Imagine if Wells Fargo or BofA simply could no longer let you withdraw any money because they had none. This is what Fed bailouts prevented.
TL;DR
The Federal Reserve was created to act as a lender of last resort and as a a central depository institution to protect the financial system from constant and long bank runs. Ever since the implementation of the Fed, and its independence from presidents, it has played a massive role in keeping the wheels of the economy running. In 2008, the Fed's bailout programs prevented a deeper collapse, just as JP Morgan did roughly 100 years before. In short, the one sentence summary of this post is: thank dank bank man.
Possible Part 3s?
MMT
Sovereign Debt: Exorbitant Privilege and Why MMT is More Complicated than Portrayed
More on Bonds: Bond Math and Pricing
Restructuring: Why A Tom Steyer-Affiliated Hedge Fund Bought A Ridiculous Amount of Argentine Debt in The Midst of A Crisis
Negative Yields: What Do They Mean and Why is This Better Than Simply Putting Money Under A Mattress
Where Did My Mortgage Go: What The Ever-Living Fuck is a MBS?
Book Review: America's Bank by Roger Lowenstein
Exotic Bonds: War Bonds, "Cat" Bonds, and Dutch Waterworks Bonds that are Hundreds of Years Old and Still Paying Interest
submitted by SpookyMarijuana to neoliberal [link] [comments]

How to Grow a Small Business: growth marketing for startups

ALRIGHT, SO IN THIS ARTICLE, WE ARE GOING TO BE COVERING: Growth at the early stages
-Unit economics
-Basic growth tactics
-The Growth Marketing or Growth Hacking mindset
Other topics that we will cover in Part II of this articlePart II:
-Building a marketing team
-The basics of SEM (Google Ads) and Social Media Marketing
-Detailed conversion tracking
-And finally, Content Marketing and SEO
Why these topics?
Because they relate specifically to our experience- and we consider ourselves subject matter experts in most of these.
Slidebean helps other companies present ideas- either through our automatic, AI design platform or by getting our content and design teams involved in the writing and structuring of their presentations.
So, even though most of our customers are other business (B2B)- we don't do a lot of 'traditional' sales. Our customers come to us through marketing, not via outbound reach. It's a B2C (Business to Consumer) kind of customer acquisition.
So if the type of business you have requires a long sales cycle, then this article will only cover the 'demand generation' part of your process. Sorry.
Ok, enough intro- let's get started.
Watch the video version of this article
How to grow a small business
GROWTH AT THE EARLY STAGES If you are just starting your business, figuring out your growth is, well, tough. There's little money to spend, the product is still early or unfinished- and convincing people to join or to pay is harder.
So here are some basics before you even think about growth:
GROWTH = PRODUCT At this stage, your growth is not only related to your marketing, outreach, or sales efforts but to the product itself. If you are just starting up, then your product will probably be far from perfect. You have to understand that the stuff you learn as you try to position the product should impact its roadmap.
So DO NOT DO NOT hire an agency (for now)
Company growth is something that you need to figure out yourselves at this stage. The person who is looking at the website conversion rate should be in the same room as the person who designed the landing pages, and the person who is picking out which features to develop next.
This means that one of your founders or one of your very first few hires should be the marketing/growth persona. Like I said, I was that guy for a large portion of our company history, while my co-founders focused on the product. And yeah, we were in the same room, about 24/7. grow a business.png Next point,
GROWTH COSTS ARE NOT AN EXPENSE I own a marketing agency back in Costa Rica, and a large portion of our customers come to us thinking of marketing as an expense. They have a budget they are willing to 'spend' in marketing.
Marketing is NOT an expense; it's an investment. If you measure your efforts correctly, you should be able to determine how spending $1,000 in a campaign will yield $3,000. If you know these numbers are correct, then spending (I mean investing) $10,000 instead of $1,000 is a no-brainer because you know for a fact that it will translate to $30,000.
We'll revisit this in our Unit economics section
FINALLY, BE PREPARED TO SPEND MONEY Back in 2013, when we started Slidebean, we were able to acquire our first 5,000 using mostly (free) social media. Quality, shareable content went a long way, and it was enough to build an audience that eventually converted to our product.
Forget about that. As a company, you have to pay to play in social media these days. It's an extremely competitive space, every single brand is trying to compete for attention, and Facebook is greedy. The actual organic reach of a page these days is less than 1%, which means that if you have 100,000 followers, less than 1,000 of them, on average, will see anything that you publish.
While you might be able to have early wins in 'newer' platforms like TikTok, or 'niche' audiences like Reddit, soon enough you'll find yourself on the mainstream platforms, competing for attention and being forced to pay for those impressions.
More importantly, marketing is a trial and error game. Some of your experiments will fail, and the faster you can run more tests, the faster you can figure out your growth plan.
It's not free. Few companies can get away with free organic reach. So yeah, get your wallet ready.
So, in summary, if you are an early-stage company,
Learn to do this yourself- either you or one of your co-founders should absolutely own your communication.
Be prepared to experiment a lot, and set aside some money to do it. Once you find a channel that works, double down on it.
Unit Economics
When talking about marketing, your unit economics are the metrics that determine if your campaigns are profitable or not.
SOME BASIC CONCEPTS HERE: CAC: Cost of Acquisition
The cost of bringing in a customer. If you are calculating the CAC of a specific campaign, then you should do Campaign Cost (divided by) Number of Customers. If you are calculating your average, broad CAC, you can also include the cost of your growth team or the platforms and tools that your team used.
Cost per Sign Up or cost per Download-
For many businesses with trial periods or freemium business models, a sign-up or app download is different from a (paid) customer, so you should keep track of both.
Lifetime Value:
The average revenue that you expect to make from a single customer:
On a SaaS company, this is calculated using your retention estimation or churn.
On an eCommerce shop, this is calculated using the average order size, the average margin that you make from that order, and the % of customers that make repeat purchases.
The most basic rule of marketing is that your LTV should be higher than your CAC. Depending on the industry, you might aim for a 2x or 3x on your CAC to LTV ratio.
Is this too dense? Here's a funny gif from our team for you to take a break. the startup office.gif Let's carry on,
Growth tactics
My favorite book on growth is called Traction:
The premise is simple; there are only 19 channels for any company to acquire customers. That's it.
THE CHANNELS TO ACQUIRE CUSTOMERS ARE: Viral Marketing: your ability to grow from customers referring to other customers.
Public Relations: the art of getting your name in blogs, newspapers, TV or press publications.
Unconventional PR: publicity stunts.
Search Engine Marketing: ads on search engines like Google, Bing or even Youtube.
Social & Display Ads: Instagram/Facebook/Twitter type of ads- based on a user's interests.
Offline Ads: TV spots, radio commercials, billboards, infomercials, newspaper and magazine ads.
Search Engine Optimization: the very complex art of Google ranking your website. We'll cover some of this on part II of this video.
Content Marketing: if you are watching this video, you've witnessed our content marketing campaigns.
Email Marketing: not a lot to explain here.
Engineering as Marketing: using apps and tech products for growth.
Targeting Blogs: which you could even translate to 'influencer marketing'.
Business Development
Sales
Affiliate Programs: offering rewards in exchange for referrals.
Existing Platforms: leveraging your presence and relevance in existing platforms, such as figuring out how to be promoted on the App Store, or on the Chrome Store.
Trade Shows
Offline Events- Meetups and such.
Speaking Engagements
Community Building
Are there any other channels of growth not covered there? I don't think so. The book elaborates on each one of them and gives you some ideas on successful campaigns from different companies.
This brings us to our last topic for today:
Growth Hacking
I don't know if the internet has a definition for this. My definition is that growth hacking is mastering the art and science of:
Coming up with campaigns for these 19 channels.
Measuring unit economics diligently.
Using that data to make quick decisions to pull the plug or double down on campaigns.
Optimizing copy, design, campaign concepts, and landing pages to maximize conversion.
And finally, working with the product team to turn marketing metrics and results translate into product changes.
The growth hacker is a bit of a mythical being, but by no means impossible to find. And yeah, you should either become one or capture one early on. Growth Hacking GIF-downsized_large.gif The mindset is simple, test, test, rinse and repeat.
In the next article, we are going to be looking into more specific examples of growth hacks you can do as you grow your business.
submitted by tavop26 to DigitalMarketingHack [link] [comments]

back from a two year hiatus. let's talk about this sub and its future.

for those of you who immediately checked whether this post was created by u/HumbleSales, i’m sorry to disappoint.
i used to frequent this sub when it was new. in fact, i was the third person to join it, following messages from u/HumbleSales and u/W1ZZ4RD that they were bailing on entrepreneur. i was also the first mod here, not counting those two, of course.
i left the affiliate marketing space about two years ago to pursue another project. i've recently been considering returning, so i've been quietly lurking here again.
after taking some time to read through past posts, i've made a few observations about how this sub has changed over time. some good, some bad. i want to share my thoughts and let you guys tell me whether or not you agree. responses to this post will help me decide how to moderate going forward.
here's the good:
now here's the bad:
i'm going to be around more again, and with that, i'm going to be more strict about moderating the issues i've mentioned above, unless you guys have some overwhelming reasoning not to do so.
let's be clear about some things though:
if you have any comments or concerns, let’s talk about them in the comments. there was some talk recently about what could be improved with juststart, and i'd love to take action on some of those things as i am fortunate to have a bit more online time than my fellow mods.
submitted by iamsecretlybatman to juststart [link] [comments]

A Tale of Two Florida Franchises.

For this one, I’ve decided to try a different approach, rather than just writing about one team, or one player, I’m going to write about two teams, specifically the Panthers and Lightning. As we all know the Lightning are considered to be pretty good, while the Panthers are considered to be, pretty bad. From the Rat Trick, to Quenneville signing, the Panthers have seen a lot, but so have the Lightning.

Expansion, Expansion Never Changes.

Lightning

In the late 80’s the NHL was hungry to further expand, and they selected, Tampa Bay, San Jose and Ottawa. San Jose was a no brainer, as North Stars owners Gordon and George Gund had been trying to move the North Stars to San Francisco for years, San Jose was given to them on the condition they sell the team to a local owner(Norm Greed), while the new Senators would be in the heart of Canada’s capital, they were a shitshow from the beginning, while the Lightning…. oh boy that’s a can of worms.
So to begin with, there were two groups here bidding for the St Petersburg, Florida. One group owned by Peter Karmanos and Jim Rutherford, looked to be the more stable, while their opposing group was led by the Esposito Brothers, Phil and Tony Esposito, who in turn had money coming in from The Pritzker Family(Too many things to list, they’re rich), who in turn backed out at the last minute, leading Kokusai Green, who...we don’t know shit about, to come in as the new investors for the Esposito Group. Kokusai Green were a group of masked people, who managed a golf course / resort. It looked like Karmanos / Rutherford would be the winning bid, but the Esposito Group were the ones willing to pay the $50 million expansion fee up front, because even back then, Karmanos was a cheap bastard.
For their first season, they played at the Expo Hall of the Florida State Fairgrounds, so obviously not an arena built for hockey. It was tiny(11K seats), but it was fine for the first season, before they moved to play at the Thunderdome(Tropicana Field now), until the Ice Palace(Amalie Arena) was built. In their first season, they had goaltender Manon Rheaume play a pre-season game, making her the first and only Woman to play in a NHL game. She stopped seven of nine shots against the St Louis Blues. It was a publicity stunt, obviously, but she wasn’t awful. She played an IHL game too.

Panthers

December 10th, 1992 was a promising day for the NHL. The Walt Disney Company had announced they were bringing a new team to the NHL, the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim(based on their movie series), at the same time though, Blockbuster owner Wayne Huizenga was also announced as bringing an expansion team to the NHL, the Florida Panthers. Huizenga was no stranger to sorts, he had purchased a 15% stake in the Miami Dolphins and their stadium, Joe Robbie Stadium(now Hard Rock Stadium), Dolphins owner,, Joe Robbie had recently died and his family was struggling to keep the team afloat. In 1994, he bought the remaining shares for around $115 Million, changing the name of the stadium soon after, to “Pro Player Park” due to a deal with Fruit of the Loom’s “Pro Player” brand. He also owned the Florida Marlins, who had yet to play a game at the time of this announcement.
There was an initial concern of territory infringement, but the NHL shrugged it off. For their initial few seasons, the Panthers would play at the Miami Arena, sharing with the Miami Heat of the NBA. Huizenga had the name “Panthers” since 91, since he bought it off a group trying to get a MLB team in Tampa. Huizenga was great for the Panthers for the most part, he had money, he spent it on his team and he didn't meddle.
For their first few seasons, the Panthers had shared an arena with the Miami Heat, at the Miami Arena a still relatively new arena at the time(single digit age), but it was clear early on this would not be able support pro sports for long, it only held around 14K. It was good arena for its time and people showed up at the least.

New Teams, New Struggles

Panthers

Obviously the first few years for these teams sucked, expansion was designed to make the expanding team awful, especially with how the rules were set up. But the Panthers were the exception, it took them two seasons of missing to make the playoffs, where they went to a cup final, only to lose to the new Avalanche(formerly Nordiques). This playoff run was accompanied by the now famous “Rat Trick”. The prior season during the home opener, Scott Mellanby had killed a rat with his stick in the locker room and proceeded to score two goals that night, with goaltender John Vanbiesbrouck coining the phrase. Fans loved the idea and would flood the ice with plastic rats, after every goal. In the 96-97 season this was changed, so that the home team would be penalized if the fans disrupted a game(see Flyers fans throwing bracelets onto the ice, during Ed Snyder’s memorial). The Rat Trick carried on though, with fans throwing thousands of plastic rats onto the ice, after the Panthers beat the Pittsburgh Penguins, to capture the Prince of Wales Trophy, punching their ticket to the 1996 Stanley Cup Final. Coincidentally, it was also the Chinese Year of the Rat, which helped things too.Fun fact, the team brought on Orkin as a sponsor, so ice crew would come out to clean up the rats, dressed as Orkin Exterminators, great marketing if you ask me! Area supermarkets even sold cupcakes with rats on them, to show support for the team.
That was the first, last and only big playoff run for the Panthers unfortunately, as the following season they lost in the first round to Gretzky’s Rangers(who got their shit kicked in by the Flyers in a Conference Final 4-1, who in turn got swept by Detroit.). 97-98 was also..bad, this time they missed the playoffs. During that season coach Doug MacLean was fired after going 7-12-4, with GM Bryan Murray taking over his duties and leading the team to an even worse overall record of 24-43-15, even worse during 15-game winless streak, John Vanbiesbrouck was shelled by the Blackhawks, playing his final game in a Panthers jersey. He walked in free agency to sign with the Flyers. To replace him the Panthers had a bit of a three-headed goalie monster going on as Mike Vernon, Trevor Kidd, Mikhail Shtalenkov, Sean Burke and Richard Shulmistra, all played in 99-00.
Stability came back in that offseason as they acquired franchise legend Roberto Luongo, from the Islanders, due to GM Mike Milbury being a fucking idiot. Milbury hated Luo and previously criticized him for apartment shopping on the day he let in 7 goals against the Bruins. Luo had two stints with the Panthers before retiring this past offseason. He's set so many franchise records and is set to have his number retired on March, 7, 2020.

Lightning

While in this same timespan, the Lightning had broken 30 wins only once. The Lightning rebounded in season 4(95-96), just barely knocking out the defending champion Devils, by a single point. They went onto face the Flyers in their first playoff series. They had just barely squeaked into a playoff berth, taking the final eastern wildcard spot, with a record of 38-32-12, or 88 points. They had split the first 2 games at the Spectrum, bringing it back to the Thunderdome, with a record crowd of ** 28,183** a record that stood until 2003’s heritage classic. Right away, Tampa was crazy for hockey even if the team wasn’t that good. The two teams split games yet again, but ultimately the Flyers won the series 4-2. It wasn’t bad though, for their first playoff berth the Lightning were building something good, but had they advanced to a Conference Final, we could have seen the battle of the Florida teams, unfortunately the Hockey Gods are cruel and that series has never happened.
The draft that year for the Lightning wasn’t great, their first rounder Mario Larocque never played a game for them and most of their picks were traded away, although they did draft Pavel Kubina, who stuck with them until 2006 and then again from 2010-2012. Unlike the Panthers, the early Lightning didn’t find much success on the ice, it didn’t help that they played in a baseball stadium, rather than a proper hockey rink. But it could be worse, they could be mismanaged like the future Thrashers were. Plus Daren Puppa was nominated for the Vezina, but lost out to Jim Carey of the Capitals.

New Millenium, Same Struggles.

The 90s were coming to a close, but there was so much more craziness before that century ended:
The Panthers finally moved into their own space, the National Car Rental Center(BB&T, soon to be Truist), but that came with an instant problem. It wasn’t in Miami, it was in Sunrise, which wasn’t really a sports town.
The Reason Huizenga went to Sunrise instead of staying in Miami with the Heat was a few reasons:
There were early talks about the Heat and Panthers sharing a new arena, but Micky Arison has vehemently said absolutely not to sharing with the Panthers. Being as Arison is the owner of the Heat(has been for decades), it’s never happening. Plus renovating AAA(soon to be named something else) would be a nightmare. As it is, it’s not built for hockey, so you’d have another Barclays / Talking Stick Situation. I’ve seen a lot of people saying “Sunrise is perfect for hockey”, but unfortunately the attendance says otherwise.
Couple that with the distance from Miami and the fact there’s nothing to do before or after the game near BB&T. You got a large mall and some shitty restaurants nearby, while you look at Vegas as a good example of actual life around the arena. The team would be better suited to build a new arena in Hollywood, Downtown Fort Lauderdale or go back to Miami Dade and figure something out. Combine that with Cohen coming in and gutting this team financially, fans quit showing up after the “new stadium” effect wore off and the Panthers didn’t get much better. The Panthers(in my opinion) can’t succeed in Sunrise, they’ve tried their damndest to build a fanbase, but the on-ice product has been awful and nobody wants to support a team that’s been in a perpetual rebuild since Dale Tallon took over almost a decade ago. Attendance wasn't an issue at the Miami Arena, but the problem was that it was so small despite only being around 8 years old, when AAA opened. I don't know if games were "sellouts", but they were doing fine in attendance.
Obviously not, it's built for basketball, has no ice plant, awful sightlines and the owner doesn't want them.
A lot to cover here. The Lightning were bad, they were bottom of the league because Kokusai Green(Maybe Yakuza???? / Primary Owners) didn’t carry about the Lightning, they are losing money at an incredible rate and Kokusai was forced to transfer money to keep the lights on. There’s a lot of blame here, first off:
The NHL, these idiots got scammed by John Spano years earlier and didn’t do their due diligence again with Kokusai Green. NHL didn’t care if any checks cleared, they wanted that sweet, sweet $50 mill is all, hell the Lightning could be playing beach hockey and as long as they got the money, they’d look the other way.
Hillsborough County, had agreed to build the Lightning, the Ice Palace but the question remained, Who The Fuck Is Takashi Okubo? The Answer will surprise you, because nobody knows. NHL President John Ziegler never met “Okubo'', Bettman never did(though he tried), nobody from Hillsborough County or Tampa met with “him”, but apparently(?????) Saburo(Steve) Oto(Japanese-Born, he was the team executive) and Chris Phillips claimed to have met him. Is he real? Who the hell knows!? Was Kokusai Green, Yakuza? Who the hell knows!? Two things are for certain:
(There is a lot more to this, but I’ll let y’all read the 3-parter for this, plus these news stories)
The Lightning desperately needed a new owner who wasn’t possibly a figment of our imagination. Which is where Art Williams, comes in. Williams was a motivational speaker, not much else to it. It looked like Pistons owner William Davidson was going to get the winning bid, but it turned out to be Williams. Williams was for lack of a better word, an idiot, he knew nothing about hockey, spoke with a thick southern drawl and was a fundamentalist christian. But he pumped $6 Million into the Lightning’s payroll and cleared away most of the $102 million debt(thanks to Kokusai Green). His first move was to “assure” fans, that the Espositos wouldn’t be going away, but then 2 games into the 98-99 season? HE FIRES THEM INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO! His next move was to give Jacques Demers total control of Hockey Ops, making him Coach & GM!, which was a shitshow.
Williams didn’t know much about hockey and the other owners hated him as a result, giving him the nickname “Jed Clampett”(Beverly Hillbillies) because of his thick southern accent. It didn’t help that he quit attending games by Spring of ‘99, because "this team broke my heart". They lost as much money in one year as they could have lost in five($20 million), which is not a good sign, especially when you’re doing worse than a brand new expansion team(Predators).
Williams sold the team to Detroit Vipers(IHL) and Pistons owner William Davidson, the same man trying to buy the team just a few years ago, for only $115 million, $2 million less than Williams bought the team for. His first move was to bring on Tom Wilson as Team President, who fired Demers and brought on Steve Ludzik as the new coach, it wasn’t enough though, the damage from the Kokusai Green bullshit was done, even transferring everyone good from the Vipers(this is what helped kill them) didn’t help much.
Despite all the craziness from the last few years, in 1998 the Lightning drafted Vincent Lecavalier, who went onto become the franchise GOAT. His first few seasons weren’t that great, but 00-01 is when he turned it around, despite a leg injury. In that same draft, they had taken Brad Richards, who became another big core piece. In 2000, the Lightning brought on Martin St. Louis, an undrafted player who the Flames bought out. Fredrik Modin was also brought in, via trade with the Maple Leafs. These moves helped establish a future contender and a core group going forward.

Mismanagement Galore.

The new millennium brought with it new challenges. Huizenga finally sold the team in 2001 to a group led by Alan Cohen(owner of a Generic Drug Company), Cohen was...pretty bad for the Panthers, he led their slide into mediocrity and into being forgotten by everyone, but he did pump a shitton of money into them, to keep them from moving. I won’t sugarcoat it, Cohen ruined this team, he got fans to stop caring, by making moves or lack thereof. Sure he saved this franchise from moving, but ultimately it’s his fault that the Panthers became a joke. As soon as they were sold to Cohen, the decade streak of no playoffs started, it’s obviously unfair to blame the start on him though.
It wasn’t all bad though, they drafted Jay Bouwmeester at 3rd overall, who was about as good as you could expect from him playing for a franchise that squandered everyone. This was so fucking stupid though, the Panthers were given 1st overall and what do they do? They trade it to Columbus for 3rd overall. Why? I don’t know! They wanted Bouwmeester and could have got him at 1st overall if they wanted, Nash would have been available to Columbus at 3rd, it’s just another case of Florida throwing away their Firsts. Not only that, they had to give 2 picks to Atlanta to make sure Bouwmeester would be fucking available at 3rd. In return, Florida got to swap picks with Columbus in the 2003 Draft, but because they got 1st overall AGAIN, they didn’t exercise that right surprisingly.
What did they do in 2003? Well they TRADED 1ST OVERALL AGAIN, this time to ** The Fucking Penguins** because they wanted Nathan Horton at 3rd overall, rather than first overall. Who was 1st? Marc Andre Fleury a literal cornerstone of the Penguins franchise for over a decade and now a big piece of the Golden Knights. So you could tell that management was literally pants on head stupid and seemed to not know what they were doing.
Head Coach Mike Keenan had this to say about the 02 blunder: "We shouldn't have done that ... Jay would have been number-one if we'd kept that pick." Well no fucking shit sherlock. I don’t blame Keenan for this, it’s all ownership and GM Rick Dudley who...came from Tampa. That’s right the last team he was an executive with was the Lightning.
Say what you will about Edmonton wasting 1st overall picks, at least THEY KEPT 1ST OVERALL. Florida traded it twice to draft people who they got rid of, through sheer incompetence. Bouwmeester and Horton won a cup, with the Blues and Bruins at the least.
While the Panthers were playing with fire, figuring out “how do we make this team a cup contender, without spending a dime?”, the Lightning’s new ownership spent money, they made sure this team could be good. And with a core consisting of Vincent Lecavalier, Brad Richards, Martin St. Louis and Fredrik Modin, you better fucking believe they were good. They were early bloomers, in the best ways possible. They just squeaked into division winners, by 1 point, securing a playoff berth for only the second time in franchise history. The division winners looked awful in the playoffs though, going down two games to the Capitals, before making an amazing comeback in Washington, winning both games at MCI, before heading back to the Forum, where they beat the Caps 2-1, following that with the series clincher in Washington. The Lightning had gotten some mojo going and they looked hungry, unfortunately that hunger was quickly fed as the Devils came in and utterly kicked their shit in, winning the series 4-1.
Next season(04-05) was even better. The Lightning went from barely winning the Southeast Division, to winning that and the Eastern Conference, showing that crushing defeat to Jersey wasn’t all she wrote. They entered the first round playing the Islanders, swatting them like a fly and winning 4-1. They moved onto face the Canadiens who...fell flat, as they got swept by the Lightning, who won it in Montreal, just to pour salt in the wound. The Conference Final was different, the Flyers weren’t rolling over and dying like the Islanders or Canadiens, this series to all 7 games, winning the Prince of Wales Trophy at The Forum!, so not only was it a sweet victory, it was in front of the loyal fans who stuck with them from the beginning, that expansion team that looked to be going nowhere fast, had secured a ticket to their first Cup Final, against none other than the Calgary Flames.
The Flames weren't a joke, they’d won their previous two series 4-2 and their first one 4-1, they were strong and looking to bring The Cup back to Canada where it belonged. The Lightning had a challenge ahead of them and it showed. Both sides seemed evenly matched, splitting a game at home and on the road, it was definitely a match for the ages. Game 6 was a controversial one by far. Late in Game 6, the puck had deflected off of Martin Gelinas’ skate, at the same time, Nikolai Khabibulin kicked his pad to deflect the puck. Issue is, in replays(with one select camera angle) it was shown to have crossed the line, which would have given the Flames a one-goal lead, possibly avoiding double overtime. Instead the Refs ruled it as no goal, because they didn’t see it cross the line and they didn't review these things. The teams went to double overtime, where Calgary lost thanks to Martin St Louis. There’s controversy here as the NHL reviewed it later, via a CGI video analysis, showing it did not in fact cross the line, funny enough though, the company that did this was based out of Calgary. The ABC Replay backed this up, but with no goal line tech this shits hard to tell.
The Lightning marched onto Game 7, returning to a packed St Pete Forum, ready to give the Flames a good slapping. Late in the 1st period the game was scoreless with 6:29 remaining, when Ruslan Fedotenko scored a beautiful powerplay goal, giving the Lightning a lead late in the first. Fedotenko followed this up in the second period with another goal, to give him his 12th of the Postseason. The Flames meanwhile..they kind of had no answer for Khabibulin, Nilson got his revenge and got one past the goalie and it was legal this time, but that...that was all she wrote for the Flames. The seconds counted down and the Tampa Bay Lightning had won the Stanley Cup! Even better THEY DID IT IN TAMPA!
The Lightning had done what the Panthers couldn’t, they won the cup. To commemorate this wonderful season here’s all the trophies:
It was an unbelievably historic season for the Lightning, they became the Southernmost team to win a cup and it only took 12 years of pain to do it. From being(allegedly) Yakuza-owned and their owner(allegedly) not existing, to being sold to an idiot, to finally getting Lord Stanley’s Cup. The Lightning did it and it was sweet.
Unfortunately shit happens. 04-05 didn’t happen due to a lockout, so they had to wait to defend their title. And when they did? It was bad, oh so bad. They got their asses handed to them by the Senators and then the Devils the following year, signaling to everyone it was time for a rebuild. 06-07 had a funny ending though, the Panthers were awful but they beat the Lightning who were in a tight race with the Thrashers for 1st in the Southeast. Thrashers won their game and got 1st, while the Lightning had to settle for 2nd / 7th Seed in the East.(Awful division that year, but it usually was)
Yes that Doug MacLean, the now former Sportsnet Host had previously coached the Panthers(weird how they’ve shared staff like this) and was now leading Absolute Hockey Enterprises, a group led by MacLean to buy the Lightning from Davidson. For his time, Davidson was a great owner, he didn’t meddle, he had money and he had someone smart in charge, while he just sat back approving trades as needed. Unfortunately, the deal was called off, because Absolute Hockey didn't make the required $5 Million fee and were plagued with inner turmoil. So instead, Palace Sports sold the Lightning and their arena to OK Hockey, who were anything but OK!

Late 2000’s:

Somehow the Panthers aren’t the worst run team in Florida?

Despite what the title says, they were still awful. Cohen was not willing to spend and they were losing money like crazy(so normalcy). On the ice it was much worse, as they got rid of Roberto Luongo in the worst trade I’ve ever seen, at least 1 for 1 made sense.
June 23, 2006, The Florida Panthers trade Goaltender Roberto Luongo, Lukas Krajicek and a sixth-round draft pick (Sergei Shirokov), to the Vancouver Canucks, in exchange for Todd Bertuzzi, Alex Auld and Bryan Allen. Luongo was in the prime of his career and was traded because once again Florida was run by idiots, who wanted immediate help. Because Cohen was a goddamned moron who ran this into the fucking ground.
That wasn’t the only Luongo trade though, there was a proposed one for Jumbo Joe Thornton himself.
Obviously Thornton wasn’t happy in Boston and got traded to San Jose, where he’s become a franchise legend. There was a proposed trade that was allegedly ready to go to the NHL Offices, the catch? Alan Cohen was a cheap bastard(tale as old as time) and didn’t want to take money back. Luongo was on a $3.25 million AAV one-season bridge deal at the time and Thornton had just signed a three year, $20 million contract in the summer. So to help his franchise he’d have to take back money which was an instant “go fuck yourself”.
So as you can see Cohen was and probably still is hated by Panthers fans and rightfully so. Not only did he not spend on them, he made them worse and alienated every fan who still gave a shit.
There’s not much else to talk about with Cohen, he ruined the team, but unlike the Lightning, there wasn’t much bright spots, so here’s a list of big trades they made:
June 20, 2008. The Florida Panthers trade their captain Olli Jokinen to the Phoenix Coyotes in exchange for Keith Ballard Nick Boynton and a 2008 2nd round pick (#49-Jared Staal). It was as usual a fire sale for them.
November, 2009. The Florida Panthers announce majority owner Alan Cohen is stepping down and allowing minority partners Cliff Viner and Stu Siegel to take over. The era of cheap-o Cohen was finally over, the remaining Panthers fans would be cheering.
Why did Cohen do that? Well it’s pretty simple. He ran them into the ground and had lost up to $100 million on this team. Hmm...I wonder why he lost so much money? Cohen had been around much less over the years while Viner and Siegel had cared about the team at least. I don’t know if they did much of anything, but they sold to Viola, who has saved this franchise.

Exit Doug MacLean and Enter Oren Koules and Len Barrie

If you’re like me and wondering “who the fuck is Koules?” turns out he produced the Saw movies. As for Barrie, he’s a former NHL player and Tyson Barrie’s Dad. Funny enough Koules is a former WHL player and tried out for the Blackhawks.
I’ll skip the formalities. Koules was absolutely the fucking worst. He ran the team like it was his fucking fantasy roster, he had no intelligence to run a team, his partner was a lying sack of shit, who’s biggest contribution was nixing “Vinny to Montreal” or so goes the rumor. Let’s go over what he did:
So once again, Barrie is shit for brains. Midway through Stamkos’ first season? He wanted him gone. The talks started IN OCTOBER and picked up around American Thanksgiving. The list of potential players coming back were Michael Del Zotto, Evgeny Grachev, Ryan Callahan, Brandon Dubinsky or Dan Girardi. Barrie was asking to choose two or three of these guys. It was so done that they shook on it, but Koules not being the fucking idiot of the two for once, vetoed it. Barrie didn’t like Stamkos and argued with the coach on how he should be developing Stamkos.
Getting rid of Boyle after signing him to a new deal Fucktards tried it with Vinny and failed and then turned around and did it with Dan Boyle. He had just re-signed to a Six-year $40 Million Contract, which wasn’t bad for a guy like him. Problem? They wanted him gone. He was given a full or limited NTC(unsure) and they basically told him “accept the trade to San Jose or we’re waiving you and Atlanta is going to take you”. So he accepted it and got away from this horribly run franchise, that was trying to burn money. The value for Boyle a #1 Offensive Defenseman was...laughable. A prospect who didn’t pan out, Matt Carle and Ty Wishart. Wishart then got traded for goalie Dwayne Roloson(oldest active player and last born in the 60s, while he played). These idiots didn’t know what they were doing, that much was clear.
Coach Barry Melrose...or not? They hired Barry Melrose as the coach for the 08-09 season only to fire him 16 games into the season, because they were incompetent. He left his job at ESPN to work for these idiots and got rewarded with the boot. That team was hot garbage and Melrose wasn’t a good coach. Whodathunkit?

New Owners, New GMs, New Everything!

Panthers

The biggest move in 2010 for the Panthers was a no brainer. Dale Tallon had been relegated to Assistant GM of the Blackhawks, he built most of that championship squad only to be replaced with Stan Bowman. So on May 17th, 2010, the Panthers announced their new GM to be Dale Tallon. He tried to do a rebuild process similar to what he did with Chicago, trading off everyone he could, almost immediately. Two big names to go were Keith Ballard and Nathan Horton. The Panthers may have been a bigger challenge than the Blackhawks, previous ownership had gutted this team and didn’t really allow talent to build, because they kept trading away picks. His efforts helped...briefly. The Panthers won the Southeast Division in 2012, where they ironically were eliminated by former coach Peter DeBoer's Devils.
Tallon was nominated for GM of the year, for his team making the playoffs for the first time in 12 years, but this would be the only other playoff run in Tallon’s tenure, so far. I don’t know if Tallon is 100% to blame for the lack of success, but they’ve been 6(7 if you count DeBoer, but he was there already) head coaches since Tallon was appointed, he deserves a share of the blame.
September 27th, 2013, the Panthers announced Vincent Viola has bought the team and would become the new owner. I have no idea on Viola, but as of late he’s spent more on the Panthers, with the hiring of Q and acquiring Bobrovsky. Due to the damage that Cohen and associates did, the Panthers had to give out free/discounted tickets early on, because nobody wanted to go to games, the team on the ice had one good season and went back to bottom feeding.
He came back home to Sunrise, after being traded by the Canucks, during the 2014 trade deadline in exchange for Jacob Markström and Shawn Matthias. He came back and set even more franchise records, because of course.
Lightning
There is a lot to cover with the Lightning and it’s a lot of good news! Firstly: The Sale!
A day after the 2010 Season ended, Vinik cleared house, firing GM Brian Lawton and Head Coach Rick Tocchet. Who was the new GM? Red Wings Legend, Steve Yzerman. Vinik had lured him away from the Red Wings front office, which...wasn’t hard. The Red Wings had made it clear Ken Holland was going to be the GM for the foreseeable future, there were no plans to replace him. Can’t blame them, since the Red Wings were still good. Yzerman's impact was felt pretty quick, "trust the Yzerplan" was a common theme with Lightning fans and would you know it? Trusting the "Yzerplan" worked.
Their next move was letting Yzerman bring in a new coach: Guy Boucher. He was what this rebuilding team needed and it worked..for a season. They made the playoffs, running off to a Conference Final in their first season, before they fell to the Bruins. Unfortunately with Boucher comes hell. They missed the playoffs the next 2 seasons before Boucher was fired on March, 24 of 2013, the 1-3-1 has a short shelf life, go figure. Jon Cooper of the AHL’s Norfolk Admirals, the Lightning’s AHL Affiliate was brought in as the Lightning’s eighth head coach in franchise history, coaching his first game not long after in a 3-0 win against the New Jersey Devils.
On June 27th, 2013, the Lightning announce they will use one of their two compliance buyouts to buy out team captain, Vincent Lecavalier. There’s no sugarcoating this, LeCavalier was past his prime, but it was a good move. OK Hockey made awful moves and this was by far the worst. If the trade rumor that Montreal wanted him was true, they should have taken it, but again, OK Hockey wasn’t very smart. Lecavalier went onto sign with the Flyers, where he played 2 ½ seasons, before being traded to the Kings, where he finally retired.
On March 5th of 2014, The Lightning announced a trade: The Tampa Bay Lightning trade Martin St Louis, along with a Conditional 2nd-round pick in 2015(Oliver Kylington) to the New York Rangers in exchange for Ryan Callahan, a Conditional 2nd-round pick in 2014(Later given to the Islanders) (Josh Ho-Sang), 1st-round pick in 2015 (Anthony Beauvillier) Conditional 7th-round pick in 2015 (Ziyat Paigin). St Louis had begun his NHL career in Calgary, though his tenure in Calgary was short, he made a name for himself in Tampa, he had won The Cup and so many trophies over the years. The Rangers brought him back for his final season in 14-15, where he scored 21 goals

Epilogue / Final thoughts.

Should the Panthers be moved?
This is a topic I see brought up often and...maybe? Unlike with the Thrashers they have a good arena and an owner who isn’t looking to sell. The Panthers arena location sucks, the biggest issue is there’s no nightlife, there’s no life around it at all. Look at Tampa, Amalie is in the heart of Tampa(ish?) there’s plenty of goings on around the arena, while BB&T has...nothing. Sunrise isn’t a great location for an arena, but they have a sweetheart lease, meaning they’re safe from relocation at least and while people will complain about the Panthers existence, they have an owner who wants to make this right, even if he is a little meddlesome.
A lot of this was Lightning-Centric and that’s more because a lot of their mishaps are easier to research in depth, while it seems like the worst thing that happened in the Cohen-Era, was he just didn’t spend and let the GM do whatever.
..Kinda? In the sense that they play in the same state, but there's barely any hate. Lightning are good, Panthers aren't and they've never played each other outside the Regular Season. I hope that'll change, these fanbases need someone close to hate. And hockey is more fun with a heated rivalry.
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